I definately favour my mom. My dad and I have never seen eye to eye on, well, almost everything. I was a daddy's girl when I was very very young, but quickly grew out of it. Most of my childhood I resented him and always craved a loving, affectionate dad (and still do) that would tell me how proud he was of me, tell me he loves me, etc. However, my dad is far from affectionate. He doesn't show his feelings, unless they are anger or negativity. The only time he talked to me when we home alone was to tell me to do something, like the dishes or something. He never asked how my day was or how I was feeling, etc. He constantly nit picked at my life. Told me I had no friends, I was fat, useless, messy, etc. I know that he probably didn't understand to impact it had on me and most likely didn't mean to hurt me, but it's hard to forgive such a thing, even if they're joking. It was always something negative, never something positive comes from his mouth. My mom always tells me how proud she is of me, tells me I'm pretty and successful, etc. Although, I suppose their backgrounds do have something to do with their parenting. My mom came from a loving religious family of 11. She had strict, but very loving and caring parents. My dad, on the other hand, never got along with his parents. He never speaks to them. His paremts are, um, very different I suppose. His mom suffers from depression, as do I think my dad does. His dad keeps to himself and is very much like my dad. My dad always said that his parents favoured his brother, whom also does not get along with my dad. My dad never had home cooked meals or any kind of a loving enviornment. I suppose he never learnt how to let his guard down and find a balance between strict, punishing parenting and showing love and affection. I'm always jealous of my friends who have such a great relationship with their fathers. I never had a close relationship with any male in my life all throughout my childhood, which only made me desire male acceptance and affection only more. It felt foreign to me all the way till I met my first boyfriend at 18. I'm lucky to have a great boyfriend, who I met at age 20, who fills that gap. Father's Day to me is kind of awkward. I feel compelled to buy him something, just because I'd feel like a crappy daughter and guilty if I didn't.
Wow, sorry, didn't mean to write a novel.
Wow, sorry, didn't mean to write a novel.
