Question: Male 1 year 3 months old tortie suddenly very affectionate after other cat he loved died..

[ronandbarry]

Hi. I don't really have a problem, just a question. Basically, my story is that in august last year about one month after we got a 7 week old kitten one of out two previous cats died. This, I think combined with the fact she had not had much attention when she was younger, made the remaining previous cat reluctant to accept the new male kitten. She was not violent, just not happy. But in about 5 months she was grooming him. She did love him and acted like a second mum to him, it was her instincts, I suppose. But she certainly loved him it was just she missed her sister and was never happy herself. He relied on her. Anyway, after the cat being hit by a car I too was reluctant but I did love him, and he was definitely happy as he hadn't noticed anything. It was just that me and my cat weren't. 7 months after the first cat dying so did the second (not the kitten). Now the kitten (now not a kitten: 1 year 3 months) is giving me much much more attention. I am confused. Why is he doing this. Don't get me wrong, I love it, but I am curious to know why. Any suggestions? Thankyou...Louisa

 

[jennyr]

I'm sorry but I am a bit confused too! Am I right in saying that both your previous cats have now gone and you only have the kitten? And that he does not seem to have noticed that the second cat, who used to groom and love him, has now disappeared too? And that he is now being extra affectionate to you?

I think the answer, if all this is right, is that he does notice that there is no one left of his feline companions, and th at he is looking to you as a substitute, wanting the loving and care that he is now not getting from any cat. So give him as much attention as you can - he is grieving in his own way. Cats do miss their companions when they die, just as we do, and htis can go on for weeks or months.

 

[yuki]

I'm sorry to hear about your losses. I agree with jennyranson. I had three cats, two of which get along very well, and one who kept to herself. Yet after she died, the other two cats suddenly became extra affectionate toward me. I'm not sure if they missed her, or if they could tell I was missing her. Cats and dogs are very perceptive, and I've noticed they're extra caring toward a person who is sick or upset.

He may be able to feel you're down and be trying to cheer you up, or he might feel lonely after his friend left. It's likely both. Either way, he needs a lot of love and attention, and it will do both of you well =)

 

[whollycat]

Kitties do grieve over the loss of one of their playmates or, as I call them, their brother or sister--even if not related by blood. When my boy Abby lost his actual brother, Tuffy, to CRF after a 5-1/2 year battle, he grieved big time as did/do I. My normally not-miss-a-meal Abby didn't eat. He didn't drink water (this was 2004; pre-raw diet so it was very noticeable). He sat on our bed every night looking longingly out to see if Tuffy was coming to bed too. Abby isn't a lap kitty, but began laying on my lap and took on other characteristics of Tuffy (Tuffy was my cuddler). He looked for Tuffy everywhere. Any noise, he'd go see if it was Tuffy. It was heartbreaking, especially since I missed our Tuffy so much too (still do and cry even writing about Tuffy now). It took time, but eventually Abby accepted that Tuffy was gone. All I could do was love him through his grief, as he did me.

After Abby accepted Tuffy's loss, he no longer was a lap kitty, nor a cuddler. I guess time will tell if your now affectionate kitty will stay that way or revert back to his normal behavior like my Abby did.

I'm so, so sorry for your losses.

 

 

[callista]

Some cats are extra affectionate when they are unsure about their world. Tiny, for example, clings to me like a burr when I take him to the vet because everything's unfamiliar and I'm the only familiar thing there. He's not usually a big snuggler. I think maybe your surviving cat is clinging to you because you're a constant, dependable factor in her life and she finds that comforting amidst all the other unsettling changes.

 

[ronandbarry]

I am pretty sure that Barry has noticed that his friend (Neecha) has gone, as in another one of my threads I was wondering if there was any way to get over it and he does have one other companion: a kitten which I got after my hamster died and before Neecha. I have my hopes up for him, though, hearing your story of Abby and Tufty ( the fact he got over it in time). I am really sorry to hear about your cat but be thankful Abbey is safe and it is only one loss you and your cat have suffered. Thankyou all so, so much...Louisa