Sorry, I feel rather self-indulgent posting what I know will be a long, pointless story, but I'm feeling rather stuck and don't particularly know who to call to make me feel better, so this is the best I can figure at the moment.
I've hit a really rough patch and I'm starting to feel like I can't deal with anything any more. The past week or so has been really rough, especially at work. I know I can't work there any more and it's starting to really upset me, because the thought of finding someplace new and having to deal with a new environment is more than I can handle. I wake up in the mornings and wish I could find any excuse not to go in to work, because I know I'll be bored out of my mind all day and irritated at the work I have to do.
So I broke today and asked my boss for help, except I'm sure I ended up scaring him more than anything. He already knew I was vaguely unhappy at work, but I told him today that I feel like I can't continue working there but that I know I can't go anywhere else. And he was trying to ask me questions to figure out what I was trying to say, and I just shut down and couldn't say anything that made any sense. All I could do was sit there shaking for a long time because the whole situation was more than I could deal with. He asked if I wanted to go home, because I seemed very "distressed" and when I said no (I can't imagine how bad it would have been being at home) he asked if he should call someone for me or take me home himself.
I feel like it's wrong of me to have involved my boss in my screwed up personal life. I have to remind myself that as well as we get along, we are not friends. But if I don't ask him for help, there is no one I know who can help me. The few friends I have who I trust enough to talk to are no longer actively involved in my life, and I'm just lost.
Is it wrong for me to be asking him to help me? What else can I do?
The thing is that this problem goes way beyond sorting out this work issue. A few times in the past when I've started to get upset like this my world has completely fallen apart and it's taken me months to put it together again. I'm scared that this is happening again, and if it IS happening I don't know if I can go through it all again. Just because there's been a few bad days, that's certainly not an indication of a major problem, but I'm scared that it is. I know I've let things go too long in the past before dealing with them, and before I could recognize that there's a problem I found myself in a hard place where there was nothing I could do to make it better.
So tomorrow I plan to go in to work and to try to explain myself a little bit better and to ask for help in sorting out my work situation again. I've written down exactly what I want to say so hopefully I won't get stuck again. Is this a bad idea? I'm still worried sick that I'm doing the wrong thing and that it is horribly inappropriate to tell my boss about these things. I just know this is a mess and don't know how to sort it out.
I've hit a really rough patch and I'm starting to feel like I can't deal with anything any more. The past week or so has been really rough, especially at work. I know I can't work there any more and it's starting to really upset me, because the thought of finding someplace new and having to deal with a new environment is more than I can handle. I wake up in the mornings and wish I could find any excuse not to go in to work, because I know I'll be bored out of my mind all day and irritated at the work I have to do.
So I broke today and asked my boss for help, except I'm sure I ended up scaring him more than anything. He already knew I was vaguely unhappy at work, but I told him today that I feel like I can't continue working there but that I know I can't go anywhere else. And he was trying to ask me questions to figure out what I was trying to say, and I just shut down and couldn't say anything that made any sense. All I could do was sit there shaking for a long time because the whole situation was more than I could deal with. He asked if I wanted to go home, because I seemed very "distressed" and when I said no (I can't imagine how bad it would have been being at home) he asked if he should call someone for me or take me home himself.
I feel like it's wrong of me to have involved my boss in my screwed up personal life. I have to remind myself that as well as we get along, we are not friends. But if I don't ask him for help, there is no one I know who can help me. The few friends I have who I trust enough to talk to are no longer actively involved in my life, and I'm just lost.
Is it wrong for me to be asking him to help me? What else can I do?
The thing is that this problem goes way beyond sorting out this work issue. A few times in the past when I've started to get upset like this my world has completely fallen apart and it's taken me months to put it together again. I'm scared that this is happening again, and if it IS happening I don't know if I can go through it all again. Just because there's been a few bad days, that's certainly not an indication of a major problem, but I'm scared that it is. I know I've let things go too long in the past before dealing with them, and before I could recognize that there's a problem I found myself in a hard place where there was nothing I could do to make it better.
So tomorrow I plan to go in to work and to try to explain myself a little bit better and to ask for help in sorting out my work situation again. I've written down exactly what I want to say so hopefully I won't get stuck again. Is this a bad idea? I'm still worried sick that I'm doing the wrong thing and that it is horribly inappropriate to tell my boss about these things. I just know this is a mess and don't know how to sort it out.