- Joined
- Dec 7, 2023
- Messages
- 69
- Purraise
- 216
Those of you who introduced two adult cats to each other successfully, but still experienced some intercat awkwardness after introductions, how long did it last?
Context: I have a five-year-old male cat named Rory. He loved my senior cat, Lou, who passed away six months ago. After a few failed attempts at finding him a new friend (he had never been a solo cat before, and had lived in large groups of cats for most of his life--so he did not adjust well to being alone), we finally landed on a sweet girl named Maisie earlier this month.
I chose Maisie because she was very cat-friendly, mellow, and was estimated to be about four--making her slightly younger than Rory but not too young for him to handle. We kept them separated and did the proper introduction song and dance, and within two weeks they were spending most of the day together without incident. It got to the point where keeping them separated was causing them more stress than making them share space, and thankfully I've ensured there are plenty of resources in my apartment so there's no need for competition.
It's been a little over three weeks. While they get along well so far (will sleep next to each other, will eat near each other, etc.) there is still a bit of lingering awkwardness. They are both desperate to play with each other, but their play styles are mismatched so far; Rory will coax her into chasing him, which she happily obliges, but she doesn't seem to understand there should be reciprocity and just stands around once catching up until Rory gets bored and leaves. Rory won't play with me if she is around, as she is very playful and wants to play with every toy, but if I try to do separate play sessions he whines until the door is open--no matter which one I put away! Rory seems a bit timid around her (he did have some bad experiences with our last attempted adoption) but she is very understanding of his cues and backs down as soon as he asks. She is a bit obsessed with him and always wants to be near him, wants to lie next to him, etc. He allows it sometimes.
Honestly, it feels like he doesn't know what to make of her, which I understand. He doesn't dislike her, as he will cry if I try to separate them until he sees her again, and they are constantly touching noses. He grooms her from time to time. He instigates play a lot but she doesn't seem to get it, but then when she instigates play he gets nervous. I'm confident in time they will learn how to happily exist together, but I'm just wondering how long this usually takes in everyone's experience.
With Lou and Rory, they got the basic of play down really quickly and hence their relationship developed differently. Here, they both want to play, both with me and each other, but it's not quite gelling.
I also discovered that my initial impression I had once Maisie was home was correct, and she is actually much older than we thought. The vet told me that had I not described her as very playful, she would have assumed she was a senior based on her teeth. It makes sense, as Maisie is also a little physically awkward. The current estimate is "seven at the very least, more likely 8-10" which changes the dynamic a bit fundamentally as well. This doesn't bother me, personally, as I love older cats, but I was hoping to give Rory someone he could be a big brother to (but not a kitten. He is not a fan of kittens.).
Anyway, how long did it take for your cats to go from amicable to friends, if they were compatible in that way? I do feel Rory and Maisie have the potential to be amazing friends, and am just trying to keep my expectations tempered in terms of timelines.
[edit] Some pictures for reference.
Rory's the tuxie, Maisie is the blue girl.
Context: I have a five-year-old male cat named Rory. He loved my senior cat, Lou, who passed away six months ago. After a few failed attempts at finding him a new friend (he had never been a solo cat before, and had lived in large groups of cats for most of his life--so he did not adjust well to being alone), we finally landed on a sweet girl named Maisie earlier this month.
I chose Maisie because she was very cat-friendly, mellow, and was estimated to be about four--making her slightly younger than Rory but not too young for him to handle. We kept them separated and did the proper introduction song and dance, and within two weeks they were spending most of the day together without incident. It got to the point where keeping them separated was causing them more stress than making them share space, and thankfully I've ensured there are plenty of resources in my apartment so there's no need for competition.
It's been a little over three weeks. While they get along well so far (will sleep next to each other, will eat near each other, etc.) there is still a bit of lingering awkwardness. They are both desperate to play with each other, but their play styles are mismatched so far; Rory will coax her into chasing him, which she happily obliges, but she doesn't seem to understand there should be reciprocity and just stands around once catching up until Rory gets bored and leaves. Rory won't play with me if she is around, as she is very playful and wants to play with every toy, but if I try to do separate play sessions he whines until the door is open--no matter which one I put away! Rory seems a bit timid around her (he did have some bad experiences with our last attempted adoption) but she is very understanding of his cues and backs down as soon as he asks. She is a bit obsessed with him and always wants to be near him, wants to lie next to him, etc. He allows it sometimes.
Honestly, it feels like he doesn't know what to make of her, which I understand. He doesn't dislike her, as he will cry if I try to separate them until he sees her again, and they are constantly touching noses. He grooms her from time to time. He instigates play a lot but she doesn't seem to get it, but then when she instigates play he gets nervous. I'm confident in time they will learn how to happily exist together, but I'm just wondering how long this usually takes in everyone's experience.
With Lou and Rory, they got the basic of play down really quickly and hence their relationship developed differently. Here, they both want to play, both with me and each other, but it's not quite gelling.
I also discovered that my initial impression I had once Maisie was home was correct, and she is actually much older than we thought. The vet told me that had I not described her as very playful, she would have assumed she was a senior based on her teeth. It makes sense, as Maisie is also a little physically awkward. The current estimate is "seven at the very least, more likely 8-10" which changes the dynamic a bit fundamentally as well. This doesn't bother me, personally, as I love older cats, but I was hoping to give Rory someone he could be a big brother to (but not a kitten. He is not a fan of kittens.).
Anyway, how long did it take for your cats to go from amicable to friends, if they were compatible in that way? I do feel Rory and Maisie have the potential to be amazing friends, and am just trying to keep my expectations tempered in terms of timelines.
[edit] Some pictures for reference.
Rory's the tuxie, Maisie is the blue girl.
