Poor Pengy thread is gone

[noni]

Heidi, you bring up an interesting point.

Is it totally true that when a cat hands you their hind end, they trust you? Sometimes I think so, and other times I think it's because she is ignoring me, or trying to, and if she can't see me, then it's not happening. Like an ostrich, sort of. Granted the floor she's on is big enough for her to turn and face me (which she does), but her turning her behind at me sometimes doesn't feel like it's a gift - more like she's saying "you won't go away, so I'll just ignore you like this!!!"

Anyone know?

Best-
Michele

 

[mamacat]

Oh Michele I have happy and sad tears now too reading your post about petting Pengy. But they are mostly happy tears! Poor little thing has been so battered, but she finally has someone who loves her! That is such a wonderful thing!

 

[valanhb]

Originally Posted by noni

Heidi, you bring up an interesting point.

Is it totally true that when a cat hands you their hind end, they trust you? Sometimes I think so, and other times I think it's because she is ignoring me, or trying to, and if she can't see me, then it's not happening. Like an ostrich, sort of. Granted the floor she's on is big enough for her to turn and face me (which she does), but her turning her behind at me sometimes doesn't feel like it's a gift - more like she's saying "you won't go away, so I'll just ignore you like this!!!"

Anyone know?

Best-
Michele

LOL I think it does depend on the context.

I was just thinking that her doing it *that way* last night, and for Pengy her back half is the injured part of her and the most vulnerable and sensitive. When Ophelia did it, it was in the middle of one of our play sessions and I had been pushing her to allow that first touch (while not pushing it with her, if that makes any sense?). So she knew that I would try, and it was almost like she just wasn't brave enough to let me touch her when she could see it, but if she couldn't see the hand she could let it happen the first time.

 

[flisssweetpea]

Originally Posted by valanhb

LOL I think it does depend on the context.

I was just thinking that her doing it *that way* last night, and for Pengy her back half is the injured part of her and the most vulnerable and sensitive. When Ophelia did it, it was in the middle of one of our play sessions and I had been pushing her to allow that first touch (while not pushing it with her, if that makes any sense?). So she knew that I would try, and it was almost like she just wasn't brave enough to let me touch her when she could see it, but if she couldn't see the hand she could let it happen the first time.

I agree. Adelaide is like that. She LOVES being fussed now - you can hear her purr halfway across the dining room. But she doesn't like to see your hand coming towards her. Once I've started fussing her, she'll look around and see it's my hand and not be nearly as worried. But when she's feeling really nervous, she likes to face you, to see what's happening. I think it's a great sign of trust for frightened kitties like ours to be prepared to turn her back to you - she's trusting you not to hurt her. So, Michelle, don't be upset that she's presenting her botty to you - it would be more upsetting if she never dared to turn her back towards you.

And as for your news .....

Listen hard, because before long I'm sure you'll be hearing your first purr!!!

 

[ldg]

Oh Michele I've missed so much - and so much of it SO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yay for Pengy, and what is there to say but that my heart just totally goes out to you for being you and being so wonderful.

Re: the butt turning towards you thing.... Spooky, when living outside, was the scardest of the litter. But when she finally trusted us, she'd always run up to us and turn around and bump our legs with her butt. She didn't want to be petted (yet), but having seen that behavior in the other kitties we had inside - I've always thought of it as like an acceptance and trust communication from the cats. If I were a cat, it'd be like she's letting me sniff her butt, is kind of the way I looked at it. So although I guess it depends upon the context, I also think perhaps her proximity to you should be considered. Is she next to you when she does this or several feet away? When Spooky's miffed (although I don't know why she wouldn't just leave the room), she'll lie down several feet away with her back to us. But when she's happy, she'll stand next to us and turn her butt to us. The proximity to us is what makes the difference in our sense of what she's communicating.

 

[rapunzel47]

Was just wondering how Miss Pengy is doing. Any news, Michele?

 

[wellingtoncats]

Oh Michelle! I've just caught up on this thread, and omg amazing!

 

[jennyr]

I've missed the last few days of this, and I am so overcome with awe. How wonderful to make this progress just in time for Christmas and all the joy that brings!

 

[noni]

Originally Posted by jennyranson

I've missed the last few days of this, and I am so overcome with awe. How wonderful to make this progress just in time for Christmas and all the joy that brings!

Hi, all.

Pengy is starting to show some behavior which I see as backsliding, and while she's done that before, the solution is to back off a bit and let things adjust.

It's not like her sleeping in my rocker (which she does regularly now) was a small thing...and it's not like her allowing me to touch her was inconsequential, either. Both are huge steps, done nearly simultaneously. And so I expected some retreat, as is her pattern.

So for the moment, it's status quo...but I'm also not working on petting her at the moment, either. She's had several days running where I was able to stroke her for quite some time, and I think she has the beginning of understanding that I'm not the boogey man...so I don't think waiting until I've got more "go" signals will be a problem.

Just thought I'd let you all know. At least this time I noticed the signals and backed down before she decided to react more intensively....which is another big thing for me to have learned, you know?

Over all, though, she's well. And we are well. And she's so soft and such a sweetheart. I'm seriously proud of her, you know? Seriously.

Best-
Michele

 

[flisssweetpea]

Yeah, wise choice Michele. She's probably adjusting to her new level of confidence now. After a day or two, she'll probably feel comfortable with the stage she's reached. I think of it like putting a foot on a new piece of ground and letting it rest there awhile to make sure the ground doesn't shift under her feet. Then she'll feel confident to explore a bit further.


You're doing a fantastic job with her. Hope you're feeling better now.

 

[rapunzel47]

Thanks for the status report -- even if it is plateau time. Gosh, she and you have come such a long way and made such wonderful progress -- a couple of days for catching your collective breath is not a bad thing -- and congratulations to you for your ever increasing sensitivity to when to lay back in the weeds until she gives you a cue.

I hope everyone is buying up shares in Kimberley Clark -- cuz it won't be long before the BIG CONTACT -- and then there'll be 8,000 people needing a truckload of kleenex each

 

[yosemite]

I'm just checking in for any news of Pengy. I'm becoming "Pengy deprived"!

 

[pinkdaisy226]

Same here!

 

[mamacat]

Originally Posted by rapunzel47

I hope everyone is buying up shares in Kimberley Clark -- cuz it won't be long before the BIG CONTACT -- and then there'll be 8,000 people needing a truckload of kleenex each

 

[noni]

I'm just checking in for any news of Pengy. I'm becoming "Pengy deprived"!

Can't let that happen!

LOL, we're on the plateau. We've been here before, and sometimes it takes a while for her to get comfortable with the new stuff. Like I said, we've 'taken a break' and haven't had much contact in the last few days, and for the balance of this week I'm not going to even be here, so that should give her plenty of room to get accustomed again.

She is still hanging in the condo, and sleeping on the rocker. She has two toys she prefers to play with, and those are always moved. She's doing well. I've laid out the shirt I've slept in for the last 3 days on the rocker, and last look she was snuggled down on it.

So until I come home, there won't be any updates...but know she's thinking of all you TCS'ers and knowing you're sending her loves for Christmas.

Best-
Michele

 

[noni]

Well, I'm home.

Last night, when I got in, she was hiding from me. Once I laid down on the bed for a nap, she got back onto the rocker, and regarded me with a mixture of concern and contentment. Almost as if she was worried I'd take away "her" rocker, it seemed.

During the evening, I took the feather wand, and played with the others for a while where she could see me...she was still in the rocker, and the look of fear had left. Everyone had full bellies, and were warm and happy. I didn't come near her - I figure she needs a bit of time to get used to me again.

When I went to bed, she was still in the rocker, snugged up against the back (which has an old bathrobe laid over it) and nesting in the tee shirt I left for her. She seems as if she's accepting my presence again, no fear in her eyes, so I just let her be. All the others came onto the bed with me, and we snuggled and cuddled and slept.

And when I woke, she was in the condo, and didn't even move when I left the room...which is good.

So we're back to the holding pattern, and since there's a good thunderstorm happening right now, I think we'll wait a bit until the weather calms, before we try much more than watching each other across the room.

It's all good.

Best-
Michele

 

[flisssweetpea]

That's great - you been away and when you get back you're still pretty much at the same place.

Do your kitties hate thunderstorms - mine tremble and get sweaty little paws. I have to hold Tippy wrapped in a towel and hide her head if it thunders.

 

[noni]

Originally Posted by flisssweetpea

Do your kitties hate thunderstorms - mine tremble and get sweaty little paws. I have to hold Tippy wrapped in a towel and hide her head if it thunders.

I really don't know. We don't get them here often at all...matter of fact, it's really rare to get them like we're having right now. Really rare.

Simon was on my lap (he's being really clingy right now...) when a huge loud boom literally rocked the house. He lept off my lap, stared at nothing, yowled, and then lept back onto my lap and got inside my bathrobe. LOL...but I wasn't in an area where I could see the others.

And yes, you're right - we're back where we were when I left. And that's a great thing...no additional backsliding, which I thought likely. So like I said, it's all good right now.

Best-
Michele

 

[rapunzel47]

Michele, I wonder if perhaps that look of concern and contentment was "I was just getting used to feeling safe and you went away...I thought you'd left me...but you're home...it really is you. Good."

I always think the first time a critter experiences our extended absence and return is one of the critical building blocks in long-term trust. That she's settled into the pattern she was in when you went away, and done it that quickly, sounds pretty good to me. I'm glad for both of you.

 

[snowleop]

Originally Posted by noni

Well, I'm home.

Last night, when I got in, she was hiding from me. Once I laid down on the bed for a nap, she got back onto the rocker, and regarded me with a mixture of concern and contentment. Almost as if she was worried I'd take away "her" rocker, it seemed.

During the evening, I took the feather wand, and played with the others for a while where she could see me...she was still in the rocker, and the look of fear had left. Everyone had full bellies, and were warm and happy. I didn't come near her - I figure she needs a bit of time to get used to me again.

When I went to bed, she was still in the rocker, snugged up against the back (which has an old bathrobe laid over it) and nesting in the tee shirt I left for her. She seems as if she's accepting my presence again, no fear in her eyes, so I just let her be. All the others came onto the bed with me, and we snuggled and cuddled and slept.

And when I woke, she was in the condo, and didn't even move when I left the room...which is good.

So we're back to the holding pattern, and since there's a good thunderstorm happening right now, I think we'll wait a bit until the weather calms, before we try much more than watching each other across the room.

It's all good.

Best-
Michele

Honestly, I'd say that's progress and not just a holding pattern. She was happy to see you and showed it in her own way, looking at you contentedly, snuggling into the clothes that smelled like you.

I think of Pengy as a child who used to be abused -- so hard for such a one to ever show or feel affection comfortably. You've made incredible strides in making her feel cared for and loved.

Sheesh, I always tear up when I read your posts!