To you and your father for pulling through this and him helping himself
-
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Please, if you can spare vibes...my father was rushed to the hospital this evening...
- Thread starter alicatjoy
- Start Date
Unfortunately, for some people rock bottom doesn't even work
Many vibes for your father. How scary and it must be so hard.
recovery for your Dad and
for you.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #24
I've procrastinated returning to this thread all evening. I put it off this morning and then again this afternoon. And, tonight, when everything came falling apart, I still resisted posting. I wish I knew what to say or how to say it, but I find that I am numb and empty. It's uncomfortable and it's unfair, but it's the truth. However, I do owe you all an update and should write -- if even just to get this out there. So, here I am. I hope you'll bear with me...
Last night (or, really, very early this morning), my father's condition was upgraded to critical but stable. After continued IV and supportive therapy, the hospital listed him, this morning, as being stable. His bloodwork came back and his kidney function was severely compromised, but, thankfully, as he becomes hydrated, begins to take in adequate nutrition, and the toxins from the alcohol are flushed from his system, those numbers should improve. His liver enzymes were elevated and they ran a number of tests along with additional bloodwork to determine that my dad has alcoholic hepatitis. I'm just being fed this information so it's unclear to me what most of this means as of yet, but I know that the picture isn't good if he continues to drink. Cirrhosis is the next step and, unless he makes some serious changes in his life, he is headed there quickly. Thankfully, my father's neurologic status is stable. And, while he has some short-term memory loss which may or may not be permanent, the doctor's do not suspect more critical damage having been done. Again, abstaining from drinking along with frequent monitoring of his condition will be key.
My father is scheduled for an endoscopy and colonoscopy tomorrow morning along with a potential biopsy of his liver later on in the day. He continues to be given IV fluids and medications as necessary, but, by all accounts, it does appear he has survived this incident -- even if it was by the skin of his teeth. His attitude is very negative and he is being quite uncooperative with the doctors and nurses assigned to his care, but they called in a psychiatrist to do an evaluation just a little while ago and I've been told to expect that he will be placed under an observation/hold for 24 hours. Ideally, the hospital wants to detox him, but he is belligerent and is refusing any help whatsoever. In fact, he needed to be restrained about an hour ago because he was threatening to sign out of the hospital against medical advice. Although they may be able to do little more than keep him in the hospital for 24 hours, that time will be enough to further stabilize him and allow for the appropriate testing to be done. Of course, an inpatient program should be the next stop, but no one is holding their breath on that at this point in time.
As for me, I'm grateful that he survived the night and that his prognosis, though poor if he continues to drink, is, at this point, good. I've been told that if an individual suffering from alcohol poisoning makes it through the first 24 hours, their chances of surviving the incident are excellent. But, while that is good news, the fact that he is balking at the help being offered to him is disconcerting. More than that, it's incredibly sad and disheartening. I am overwhelmed with feelings ranging from the positive to the negative and it's been a difficult day. I feel as though I'm floundering -- I want to be with my dad, but, logistically and realistically, that isn't possible at the moment. And, truth be told, he is refusing contact with anyone in the family. I have spoken with him once and our conversation was dreadful with a constant barrage of verbal insults and name-calling (on his part, not mine). He accepts no responsibility. And, my stepmother is not helping the situation either, but that is because she is as sick as he is where her emotional health is concerned. Thankfully, I have built a good rapport with his doctors and nurses and am being kept well informed. But, to say that this has been easy would be a lie.
Though it's already 2:00am here and I should be in bed, I am, at the very least, able to take a deep breath and take care of myself. That's not to say that that is a simple feat, as it is not, but it is what it is. And, though I'm having a hard time, I am okay. Posting this has been a help and I know that all of the support I've been offered has certainly helped get me through today. When I have more information (likely tomorrow), I will share it. Until then, I ask for your continued prayers, vibes, and well wishes. For my family as a whole, for my father, and for me...
Last night (or, really, very early this morning), my father's condition was upgraded to critical but stable. After continued IV and supportive therapy, the hospital listed him, this morning, as being stable. His bloodwork came back and his kidney function was severely compromised, but, thankfully, as he becomes hydrated, begins to take in adequate nutrition, and the toxins from the alcohol are flushed from his system, those numbers should improve. His liver enzymes were elevated and they ran a number of tests along with additional bloodwork to determine that my dad has alcoholic hepatitis. I'm just being fed this information so it's unclear to me what most of this means as of yet, but I know that the picture isn't good if he continues to drink. Cirrhosis is the next step and, unless he makes some serious changes in his life, he is headed there quickly. Thankfully, my father's neurologic status is stable. And, while he has some short-term memory loss which may or may not be permanent, the doctor's do not suspect more critical damage having been done. Again, abstaining from drinking along with frequent monitoring of his condition will be key.
My father is scheduled for an endoscopy and colonoscopy tomorrow morning along with a potential biopsy of his liver later on in the day. He continues to be given IV fluids and medications as necessary, but, by all accounts, it does appear he has survived this incident -- even if it was by the skin of his teeth. His attitude is very negative and he is being quite uncooperative with the doctors and nurses assigned to his care, but they called in a psychiatrist to do an evaluation just a little while ago and I've been told to expect that he will be placed under an observation/hold for 24 hours. Ideally, the hospital wants to detox him, but he is belligerent and is refusing any help whatsoever. In fact, he needed to be restrained about an hour ago because he was threatening to sign out of the hospital against medical advice. Although they may be able to do little more than keep him in the hospital for 24 hours, that time will be enough to further stabilize him and allow for the appropriate testing to be done. Of course, an inpatient program should be the next stop, but no one is holding their breath on that at this point in time.
As for me, I'm grateful that he survived the night and that his prognosis, though poor if he continues to drink, is, at this point, good. I've been told that if an individual suffering from alcohol poisoning makes it through the first 24 hours, their chances of surviving the incident are excellent. But, while that is good news, the fact that he is balking at the help being offered to him is disconcerting. More than that, it's incredibly sad and disheartening. I am overwhelmed with feelings ranging from the positive to the negative and it's been a difficult day. I feel as though I'm floundering -- I want to be with my dad, but, logistically and realistically, that isn't possible at the moment. And, truth be told, he is refusing contact with anyone in the family. I have spoken with him once and our conversation was dreadful with a constant barrage of verbal insults and name-calling (on his part, not mine). He accepts no responsibility. And, my stepmother is not helping the situation either, but that is because she is as sick as he is where her emotional health is concerned. Thankfully, I have built a good rapport with his doctors and nurses and am being kept well informed. But, to say that this has been easy would be a lie.
Though it's already 2:00am here and I should be in bed, I am, at the very least, able to take a deep breath and take care of myself. That's not to say that that is a simple feat, as it is not, but it is what it is. And, though I'm having a hard time, I am okay. Posting this has been a help and I know that all of the support I've been offered has certainly helped get me through today. When I have more information (likely tomorrow), I will share it. Until then, I ask for your continued prayers, vibes, and well wishes. For my family as a whole, for my father, and for me...
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- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #26
Another day, another update. And, this time, we are not moving in the right direction.
My father decided to sign himself out of the hospital this morning. He was originally placed on a 24 hour which allowed the doctors on his case to continue monitoring his care as well as keep him stabilized. They had hoped to do an endoscopy and colonoscopy yesterday, but he resisted and only consented to the endoscopy. The test showed extensive damage to his upper GI tract including a bleeding ulcer in his stomach and a non-bleeding ulcer in his esophagus. Thankfully, the ulcer in his stomach was cauterized allowing it to stop bleeding, but aside from medications to control acid in his stomach and esophagus, the treatment requires that my father not drink, smoke, or use other substances. And, based on his current behavior, I do not see this as a possibility. He can surprise me and the doctors, but his situation is dire unless he makes a number of serious changes in his life.
And, it's not just ulcers. He has a number of other health issues ranging from alcoholic hepatitis (he was also scheduled a liver biopsy which he refused as well) and a loss of some kidney function. Thankfully, neurologically, he seems okay. But, then again, that's debatable considering he signed himself out of the hospital against medical advice. Since he was stable, there was little the hospital could do to keep him under their care. And, obviously, he was lucid enough to talk his way out of a 72 hour hold. Instead, he just had to sign a contract stating that he'd make an appointment with a psychiatrist/psychologist from the hospital within 72 hours and an appointment with his primary care physician within 48 hours. And, he claims he will do those things. But, I think he'd have promised most anything because he was beginning to detox. He wanted out...and it's plain to see why...
According to my stepmother, my father bought alcohol on the way home from the hospital. "Just some wine," he said. "I'll have just one drink with dinner," he said. "Maybe a beer as well, to take the edge off," he said. "No more than one," he said. Well, when I talked to him about an hour ago, his words were just slightly slurred. He's also been smoking like a chimney. My stepmother called the hospital and spoke with the doctor who admitted him. But, he said he was stable and that, despite having numerous medical conditions as a result of his drinking, there was nothing they could do. He would have to make the decision to quit on his own. I had thought that this time would be different. I allowed myself, foolishly, to believe that this incident would scare him into right action. How wrong I was. And, the worst part is that I know better. I know addiction like I know the back of my hand. But, nevertheless, it's hard not to hope. And, it's even more difficult to watch someone you love deteriorate right before your eyes and know that you're not able to do anything to stop the trainwreck from happening.
I'm tired and overwhelmed. I'm upset and frustrated. I'm angry and horrified. I'm so many things, but I'm not enough to stop him from drinking. Right now, nothing is. Not me, not my brothers, not his wife, not his job. This has hit me hard. And, if I didn't have the people I do in my life (including this website), I'd really be struggling. But, I am not going to allow him to bring me down with him. All I can do is be a positive example and a witness to what he is going through. I can stand by him and love him, but I can't fix him. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy, but I know I'm not the only individual dealing with a parent or loved one determined to ruin themselves through their addiction. Thankfully, I am able to pray and be objective despite my feelings. I won't lie and say that this is easy, but it is what it is. All that's left is prayer (and, maybe, a swift kick up my father's you-know-what). The rest is up to him.
I'm so appreciative of the support and well wishes I've received here. They really have helped me get through this trying time. And, if you could continue to pray, send vibes or positive thoughts, or just be here, well, that would still be appreciated. Thank you...
My father decided to sign himself out of the hospital this morning. He was originally placed on a 24 hour which allowed the doctors on his case to continue monitoring his care as well as keep him stabilized. They had hoped to do an endoscopy and colonoscopy yesterday, but he resisted and only consented to the endoscopy. The test showed extensive damage to his upper GI tract including a bleeding ulcer in his stomach and a non-bleeding ulcer in his esophagus. Thankfully, the ulcer in his stomach was cauterized allowing it to stop bleeding, but aside from medications to control acid in his stomach and esophagus, the treatment requires that my father not drink, smoke, or use other substances. And, based on his current behavior, I do not see this as a possibility. He can surprise me and the doctors, but his situation is dire unless he makes a number of serious changes in his life.
And, it's not just ulcers. He has a number of other health issues ranging from alcoholic hepatitis (he was also scheduled a liver biopsy which he refused as well) and a loss of some kidney function. Thankfully, neurologically, he seems okay. But, then again, that's debatable considering he signed himself out of the hospital against medical advice. Since he was stable, there was little the hospital could do to keep him under their care. And, obviously, he was lucid enough to talk his way out of a 72 hour hold. Instead, he just had to sign a contract stating that he'd make an appointment with a psychiatrist/psychologist from the hospital within 72 hours and an appointment with his primary care physician within 48 hours. And, he claims he will do those things. But, I think he'd have promised most anything because he was beginning to detox. He wanted out...and it's plain to see why...
According to my stepmother, my father bought alcohol on the way home from the hospital. "Just some wine," he said. "I'll have just one drink with dinner," he said. "Maybe a beer as well, to take the edge off," he said. "No more than one," he said. Well, when I talked to him about an hour ago, his words were just slightly slurred. He's also been smoking like a chimney. My stepmother called the hospital and spoke with the doctor who admitted him. But, he said he was stable and that, despite having numerous medical conditions as a result of his drinking, there was nothing they could do. He would have to make the decision to quit on his own. I had thought that this time would be different. I allowed myself, foolishly, to believe that this incident would scare him into right action. How wrong I was. And, the worst part is that I know better. I know addiction like I know the back of my hand. But, nevertheless, it's hard not to hope. And, it's even more difficult to watch someone you love deteriorate right before your eyes and know that you're not able to do anything to stop the trainwreck from happening.
I'm tired and overwhelmed. I'm upset and frustrated. I'm angry and horrified. I'm so many things, but I'm not enough to stop him from drinking. Right now, nothing is. Not me, not my brothers, not his wife, not his job. This has hit me hard. And, if I didn't have the people I do in my life (including this website), I'd really be struggling. But, I am not going to allow him to bring me down with him. All I can do is be a positive example and a witness to what he is going through. I can stand by him and love him, but I can't fix him. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy, but I know I'm not the only individual dealing with a parent or loved one determined to ruin themselves through their addiction. Thankfully, I am able to pray and be objective despite my feelings. I won't lie and say that this is easy, but it is what it is. All that's left is prayer (and, maybe, a swift kick up my father's you-know-what). The rest is up to him.
I'm so appreciative of the support and well wishes I've received here. They really have helped me get through this trying time. And, if you could continue to pray, send vibes or positive thoughts, or just be here, well, that would still be appreciated. Thank you...
I'm just now catching up to this thread, but I want you to know you and your family are in my prayers
Oh sweetie
There is nothing harder than that feeling of powerlessness. I know all too well - I also have an alcoholic father, and while he's been clean for awhile now, he's also old before his time, and he has a lot of regrets, including the years of hardship on the family. I more or less grew up in the AA system, and the hardest lesson for me to take from them was accepting that, most of the time, hope is really all we have.
The best you can do is take care of yourself, and try to come to terms with what's happening as best you can. Don't beat yourself up over that feeling of powerlessness, and don't worry about "I should've" or "I could've" either. Alcoholism is one disease where it really, truly is 100% up to the person who is drinking.
Sending you a PM as soon as I'm done typing this - hopefully the information there is helpful to you.
for you and your family during this difficult time.
There is nothing harder than that feeling of powerlessness. I know all too well - I also have an alcoholic father, and while he's been clean for awhile now, he's also old before his time, and he has a lot of regrets, including the years of hardship on the family. I more or less grew up in the AA system, and the hardest lesson for me to take from them was accepting that, most of the time, hope is really all we have.
The best you can do is take care of yourself, and try to come to terms with what's happening as best you can. Don't beat yourself up over that feeling of powerlessness, and don't worry about "I should've" or "I could've" either. Alcoholism is one disease where it really, truly is 100% up to the person who is drinking.
Sending you a PM as soon as I'm done typing this - hopefully the information there is helpful to you.
for you and your family during this difficult time.
