Please help!!!!

[lisa71cat]

About 9 months ago, myself and my partner noticed a young male cat around our garden alot, he looked very thin, had no collar and could see he hadn't been neutured. he was very friendly so instantly i became attached as i love cats and would hate to see any animal hungry. i really did think he was a stray, or a cat that had been dumped in our area. i began to feed him and let him in our house, i then rang the RSPCA and the cat's protection league to get some advice as we were a little concerned that he did belong to somebody. they suggested putting a collar on him with our phone number on to see if someone would call, but he kept losing it or someone was taking it off. We also toke him to our local vets to see if he was microchipped and he wasn't. The vets thought he was a stray also. They told us that he needed to be castrated but we were reluctant as we still didn't know for definate that he wasn't anyone's pet. We placed a notice in our local shop and put pictures on lamp posts. We then got a phone call and he did have an owner, we were very upset as had grown to love him over the past 5 weeks. They came round to collect him and we thought we wouldn't see him again as they live a few streets away. but we did see him again all the time, first we carried on as normal as the owner said she didn't mind if he continued to come over to us. About 6 months later the owners asked us to not let him in anymore,as i think they were frustrated because he was with us a lot and it was upsetting their grandson who the cares for the cat. The problem is he sits outside our back door and just meow's constantly and i just can't not let him in. I understand that he is there cat but he maybe would prefer to be with us because the owner already has 7 other cats and children and i can't help but think he doesn't get the care and attention that he wants and needs, as they didn't come looking for him in the 5 weeks at the beginning. We did ask if we could take him off their hands and they were not happy about it as he belongs to their grandson.

We would really love some thoughts on what to do with this situation as they have asked us not to let him in, but how can i shut the door on him now when he comes to us, i just can't do it

 

[rosiemac]

Honestly, if he was coming back to my house l would still let him in, and they don't need to know. It's really cold outside now, so there's no way l could let a cat sit outside in freezing temperatures.

And if he hasn't been neutered and they have 7 other cats the chances of them being fixed are slim. The problem is come spring,  he along with the other cats will be making unwanted babies 

  What do you klnow about the family?, because if their on benefits the cats protection gives out vouchers to have cats fixed.

 

[feralvr]

AW that poor kitty and how wonderful of you to be caring for "someone" else's cat. That is just so unnerving when owner's neglect their kitties I would try to gently talk with the owner's about taking the cat in - if they would allow it. Since they have so many other's and are not really caring for this one - then they might just say go ahead :cross: AND sorry, but the grandson is not properly caring for the cat if the cat is always at your place. Not right for them to keep the cat only for the grandson to neglect this kitty. I would try to pursue something with the owner's. How nice of you to want to give this cat a home :heart3: Hope it works out :cross: for you and more so for this neglected kitty :rub:

 

[StefanZ]

Is he neutered now?    The minimum for them to do...

Anyway, I think I would try to keep talking with them. How old is the grandson? Big enough to talkk with?

Do you know who the parents are?

Buying the cat, as they dont wants to just hand the cat over.  Tell the buying money are for the grandson.              Perhaps this is what they do hope for!

Or propose a switching of gifts.  You are giving the grandson a gift (in some reasonable price range!) and the grandson gives his precious gift: this cat.     This the magical way!

Tx a lot for caring!

Welcome to the TCS site and our Forums!

Good luck!

 

[babz]

Sorry, but they are clearly not being responsible owners by not getting this poor cat fixed.  I suggest getting the cat fixed, get his shots and register him.  That way you have papers on him that you have been the responsible one.  You sound so sweet.  I just couldn't leave him outside either, and remember many cats pick us before we even see them.

 

[tarasgirl06]

I'm not going to give advice, because this situation is something you need to examine your conscience regarding, and make the decision that is right for you.  But I will say this:  several years ago, I lived in an area where there were many *community cats* of varying degrees of friendliness and in varying conditions.  As my then husband and I had good financial fortune and both of us cared very much about cats, we worked on earning the trust of each cat and then got him/her spayed/neutered, innoculated and basic checkup.  Each cat was then very welcome to stay with us in our gated yard and/or go through the catflap into our garage, where we had fixed lots of cat beds.  We provided food and water daily.  Over time, some were brought indoors-only, which I wish I could have done for all, but we already had our own cats, and our house was not very large.  Anyway, at least two of the cats were later revealed to be "spoken for" by a neighboring family, who loved them but did not have much money at all.  One of these cats had had a skin ailment we could not cure; I got him into Best Friends in Utah, where he was cured and eventually adopted by a nice lady from another country, with whom he lives still.  While I would never want to part a cat from his/her family, it was always my and my husband's policy that any cat who came into our yard without ID got spayed/neutered and innoculated and a checkup, because the CATS were our first concern; and we believed then and now that responsible caregivers keep their cats indoors only, and spay/neuter and get baseline innoculations.  

I rest my case. 

 

[lisa71cat]

Thank you for your replies
The cat has been neutered now, forgot to add that to the original post,
The grandson is about 6 years old.
We have asked to take him off their hands and look after him and they said no, we would happily pay them but I am scared to ask as they seem to be getting mad at us. It's such an awkward situation as I can't not let him in when he is meowing at our door especially in this weather.
Perhaps we can try and speak to the family again, the problem is they know where we live and are worried that they may turn nasty towards us.
Thanks again for your posts
Lisa

 

[tarasgirl06]

THANK YOU bigtime for your caring, Lisa, and yes, sounds like a good plan.  Of course, if a cat is allowed to roam outdoors and has no ID, who could tell where a cat could go? 

 

[hobo08]

Lisa just checking in for an update on the kitty.

 

[rafm]

Cat shows up without a collar or chip, oh well, he's a stray. Especially if he's around for several weeks. You went way beyond what I would have done to locate an owner. And if the cat kept showing up without a collar after they had claimed it, I would still let it in, feed it and probably wouldn't let it back out. Without a collar or microchip they have no claim to the animal. I really don't have sympathy for people that knowingly let their cat out without identification.

 

[lisa71cat]

The cat is still with us, for the last 6 weeks we have not heard from the owners, whenever we are home he is here. he gets very excited when we get home from work as he comes in and shakes his tail. He is such a pleasure to have around, but we dread the day when we get another knock at the door especially now because they asked us not to let him in. We have no idea if he has been home in the last 6 weeks but if he has, it has only been while we are at work as he is with us the rest of the time.

The only worry i have now is that if we book a holiday this year that i can't leave him in the house or ask for someone to feed him for us, but we have nothing planned at the moment.

He has also got a little limp on his front paw, he still eats, plays jumps etc and not down in his mood but he has had this for a few weeks now and it doesn't seem to be healing although not getting worse. I have checked his paw and can't find anything in it and it is not swallen. If he was our cat i would take him to the vets but i can't as he is not ours.

i might ring the RSPCA and ask for some advice to make sure were not breaking the law or something here in the UK. I wonder as he has no collar or microchip that the owners have no claim on him in the UK, Thankyou RAFM and eveyone else for your post.

Thanks

Lisa

 

[feralvr]

Hi Lisa.... thank you, again, for taking in this poorly neglected and needy kitty. You are doing the right thing. I agree that - no collar, no microchip.... then it is a stray. It is obvious to me that this cat needs a GOOD and loving home. That is you. At this point and it has been SO many weeks - that cat is your cat. Where I live.... IF you are feeding a cat outside - for more than three days, it legally becomes your cat and your responsibility. Not sure how it works in the UK - but there has to be some law about this. I would just keep doing what you are doing. You could always board the cat when you go on a vacation if you don't want someone coming into the house while you are away. I think calling the RSPCA to ask some pertinent questions in this matter would be very beneficial to you in helping you make your decision as to how to handle this problem of neglect. Bless you for caring :heart3:

 

[tarasgirl06]

If a cat is not microchipped, tattooed or otherwise ID'd and allowed to roam outdoors, that cat can be regarded as homeless, and adopted as such.  

As for going on holiday, people all over the world do this, and they have trusted relatives or friends, or credentialled cat-sitters, come in and feed, water, clean for, and spend time with their beloved cats.  Simple solutions!  All cats except feral cats, btw, should be indoors-only, according to responsible and loving caregivers, myself included.

 

[hobo08]

I would keep him. Those people have any proof he is theirs? Put a collar and tag with your info, take him to the vet. The way I see it he is legally yours.

 

[StefanZ]

 Those people have any proof he is theirs?

good question! As far as TS know, the cat is always at her place. Him being with the "owners" is only what the "owners" says, there is NO other evidence for this. Nor even them bothering, like phoning as soon he isnt at home.  Like any normal owner would do if they dont want or can come in person.

As far as TS know, they can be proceeding with a scam. Why? difficult to know, but there are people of all the sorts.   There are strong indicies for a scam, and only their "anti-proved" words for their ownership.

ps. who did and payed the neutering?  TS Lisa or these "owners"?

 

[catmom5]

I agree with the others - this cat was a stray with no identification, no lost cat flyers, etc. A couple of years ago, a neighbor had a kitten (not even 3 months old) who the teen-age daughters took out and forgot to take back inside. I watched him and after seeing that no one was searching for him, brought him inside. A week later, there were signs up, but by that time, the kitten was with a no-kill rescue and on his way to a wonderful home. When I told the neighbor, she said they figured the hawks had gotten him . . . oh well. I don't know if it's a matter of education or attitude, but my concern is with the CATS!

I figure any stray cat without ID, someone searching, etc in my yard becomes my cat. I've rescued many who happen into my life.