Please, Help Us. Resident Cat Very Angry Over New Cat.

[BearFlipsTable]

aight so heres the deal, i might be over reacting to all this we are first time cat owners and have never had to do the whole new cat process, anyhow like i said heres the deal. me and my sister got our mum a cat for her birthday a couple o days ago. it was my sisters idea whose reckless n frivolous in her purchases, you want proof she has two huskies, a dingo and used to have mice til one of the huskies got into the room with the mice and killed them all, she also wants a cat of her own but thank god her boyf doesnt like cats so hes said no. needless to say, shes not very responsible. anyways she wanted to get the cat i thought it wasnt a great idea, yada yada, shes stubborn and bought the cat, and not from a very good petshop either this place is not very great. she didnt even tell our mum that the cat was from this place, because when i told her she got very mad. anyways we buy the cat we bring him home, we give him a seperate room just like all the articles i read told us to do. idk if this is significant but my sister left the door open and the existing cat wondered in, saw him, immediately yowled n hissed. since then my sister has been constantly saying dumb shit like "lets just let her look at him" or "im just gonna leave the door open a crack for her to see him". this was all during his first night here. i told her no, she didnt listen to me, i got mad because i thought she could have possibly been sabotaging the chances of our resident cat and new cat getting along. i have a feeling i am just being impatient or stupid since hes been here almost a week which from what ive read is usually the minimum amount of time for a cat to adjust, both new cat in a new home or getting used to the scent of a new cat for the resident cat. he has adjusted pretty well to his new home, on his second night after coming home from my mum n sisters birthday dinner, i went to his room and he came out immediately to greet me, a massive departure of his behaviour from the previous day, hiding under the bed and not eating. we've been letting him out his room whenever the existing cat goes outside, he has adjusted to this area too fairly quickly and has learned to meow, so whenever hes in his room and the other cat is inside he meows wanting to come out. if we were to let him out that would stress her out even more than she already is. im extremely worried about her. usually she isnt this mad but she can be a rather massive grump about things but can also be very affectionate when she wants to be. i love her but rn she hates me more than i can put into words. couple days ago, my mum wanted to try having them on either side of the door, i said that was a terrible idea, he hasnt been here long enough for her to get used to him, but she insisted and i had to give in because whenever my mum gets mad she gets insanely angry shes got goddam anger issues, i swear. so we try it ofc she is yowlin n hissing, so then mum thinks of its an even better idea if we put her directly in the room with him in the cage. i protest profusely but im not successful at all. we do it she is extremely stressed out she hissing n all and desperate to get out. we both end up watching vids on youtube about introducing cats and all have the same points and say to do the same things, i told my mum, see? this is what we gotta do its gotta be slow and the tie between getting used to him and sitting on either side of the door needs to be gradual and have massive amounts of time in between. she doesnt understand and says, yeah, we did that. no we fricken didnt! we put them together from outside the door to into the same room within a matter of minutes!! she is not a stupid person. she is smart enough to know what i meant, she just can never admit when she might be in the wrong. so ive taken charge over taking care of both cats, even tho he is her cat. the most she does is feed the resident cat in the morning and thats it. so, so far she is still angry. shes angry over him shes angry at me (probably because i spend the most time with him) reckon she must be jealous or something, im worried what my mum and sister have done has jeopardised our chances of them being friendly n comfortable with each other, he doesnt seem to have a problem tbh its just her. mum reckons she afraid of him, hes a kitten for gods sake, y would she be afraid of him she could bloody kill him if she had half a mind and im sure shes does. cats are just territorial, some rando cat in her house? ofc she gone be mad. hes a good boy, love him quite a bit, but she was our first cat and we love her just as much, its making me really sad to think she might be jealous or upset over this and what if this is forever now? i dont want her to think this is gonna be regular behaviour for her, i really REALLY dont. ive tried to do the towel rubbing thing, bringing her food closer n whatnot but her mood hasnt lifted. but maybe i am just being impatient i mean it has only been less than a whole week, i just dont want her so angry with me, has anyone else experienced their cats being annoyed with yourself because of a new cat? please help.

 

[ArtNJ]

If they have never actually fought, your not in that bad a spot. Even without any sort of introduction at all, if the cats don't actually fight, then eventually they usually get the hissing, growling and swatting out of their system. Or much of it anyway. If your mom and sister won't let you back up and do a slow introduction process, you might just need to open the door and see how they do. Now, if they do fight, things won't likely get better on their own, and then you may have a real problem if you can't control the process. Or if the new cat is so terrified it won't eat or use the litter boxes. But it may be that things will (very slowly) get better even with your mom and sister not going about it the best way. You can only do what you can do mate...and people were introducing second cats long before there was an internet to share best practices. Obviously would be better to get through to your mom and sister, but it doesn't sound like that is happening, so your likely going to have to see what the cats can do on their own to work through this. Just supervise, and try to make sure the cats don't fight. Try not to let mom and sister leave the cats alone together unsupervised.

Also, you could see if your mom would spring for some calming products like Feliway diffuser/spray. Those are kind of hit or miss, but might help. But not worth fighting with your mom about, at least at this point where they haven't actually fought (that you mentioned).

 

[KarenKat]

A ArtNJ has some excellent points.

I just want to share that I definitely rushed our integration of Olive. I had her in her saferoom for about a week before I moved to having a baby gate instead of the door. I didn't even know about feeding on opposite sides, and to be honest I thought my boyfriend was dragging his feet. I didn't see any progress, so why should I wait? I didn't realize that the cats were not quite ready for that yet because they were still thinking about the new smell. It has taken 7 months, but the cats are peaceful and cohabiting so far. So I don't think anything has been ruined beyond repair.

 

[amethyst]

I have to agree that if the only thing that has happened so far is hissing and growling that is normal and not really anything to worry about. The cats are going to have to figure it out on their own who is boss, obviously the female thinks she is and wants the kitten to know it. Cats can make a lot of noise, and do a lot of posturing, without it ever getting physical. It will take more then a week though, it's not an instant fix.

You didn't mention how old the female is, if she is older it can take more time for her to accept the new addition since she is use to being the only cat. If there is a large age difference that can cause issues too, the kitten could annoy her. Unless she is an elderly cat she will be mad for awhile, but she will get over it. Make sure you spend lots of extra time with her so she doesn't feel replaced, that can make her more angry about the new kitten.

What I've done for the past couple cats to introduce them to the rest of the cats is have the new one set up inside a large dog crate. It has to be a crate big enough to have the food, water, litter box, bed, and ideally a box to hide it (bed and box can be one in the same). It allows the current cats to come up and investigate and get to know the new one with relative safety until the stop reacting (hissing and stuff) to each other. I think that letting the kitten out to explore the house when the female is outside is a good idea it will help spread his scent around the house so it becomes normal over time. It will take time, if after say a month things aren't improving then I could see reason to be concerned.

 

[ArtNJ]

Is the new cat a kitten? I should have asked. Huge help if so. Adult cats dont hurt kittens, so the throw them together approach is much less risky.

 

[BearFlipsTable]

Is the new cat a kitten? I should have asked. Huge help if so. Adult cats dont hurt kittens, so the throw them together approach is much less risky.

yeah i mentioned hes a kitten toward the end but i realised i hadnt mentioned her age, she is 4 in october

 

[ArtNJ]

Yeah...with a kitten, things will be ok in the long run. Doing it "the right way" is less important. They can work it out. Eventually.