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Please? Help me quit smoking?
- Thread starter blue
- Start Date
Cameo and Becky....I can respect your individual opinions...and you are both so welcome here!!!! And you are right...smoking is nasty, and I need to quit...but it is hard.
I hope I didn't make anyone feel unwelcome here!! I am so glad you have both joined us!!!!!!!
WELCOME!
Please stay!!!
I hope I didn't make anyone feel unwelcome here!! I am so glad you have both joined us!!!!!!!
WELCOME!
Please stay!!!
Well Debby, I am also a Debby, so right off the bat we have something in common
. I did not mean for that email about smoking to go to someone that does not want to quit, but I was just encouraging those that did and needed some extra help. I respect everyone's right to do as they wish in that respect.
You did not offend me at all and I look forward to being your friend and fellow cat-lover. Thanks indeed for the warm welcome!!
You did not offend me at all and I look forward to being your friend and fellow cat-lover. Thanks indeed for the warm welcome!!
Oh my gosh!!!! Another Debby!!!! We have so many here already....(which is a good thing
) There are about 5 of us Debra, Debby, Debbie, Deb's in here. Do you spell yours with a y just like me? Too cool....us Debby/Debbie's must just all be cat lovers!!!!
So glad you have joined us!!!!
*warm welcome*
So glad you have joined us!!!!
*warm welcome*
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #45
i dont think i can do it, quit smoking that is.
If you feel today isn't the time to quit, then give yourself more time. When its meant to happen, it'll happen. If you're stressed right now, you don't need to add to the stress. Just put it on the back burner until you feel "right" about it in your gut.
Sorry guys, I have been avoiding this thread like the plague. I have been smoking for about 12 years now. I honestly want to quit. It does stink, makes your cloths,car and general person stink. I have a 7 year old to think about. I lost my grandfather to lung cancer and my grandmother to throat cancer among other things. Yet, I can't bring myself to justify quitting. I dont drink, I dont do drugs but the smoking is just too hard to give up.(not to mention it is damn expensive). I wish I could offer some helpful hints. I just hope someday I have enough will to do so.
I agree Sandie... this addiction sucks....but honestly I have no desire to even try to quit right now.
I have so many other things going on in my life, that cigarettes and a few beers (once in awhile) seem like my only vice. I don't think I can give that up right now. it sort of is like my security blanket.
Sandie, Debby, (and, yes, you too)Blue; Remember that my posts to this thread have always said,"I'm here when YOU are ready!" For all the years I smoked; I probably wanted to or tried to way too many times, so I appreciate when CIRCUMSTANCES aren't "Right"!
Debby, I agree; that now is NOT a good time for you to QUIT!
Blue, there are some things on your plate that are making it bad for you right now too. . . . . .
Sandie, there is a reason you have avoided this thread, and you must ask yourself if it is right for you to try to quit now also.
Just, please, all of you; remember that when the time is right you CAN QUIT. You are all much stronger than any addiction and have come thru worse times than what you face now. . . . .
I love and respect each of you and trust you to know "when you have had ENOUGH!!!!
I am sorry if I "Preached" in the past but, as the Apostle Paul said, "The man with an "experience" is never at the mercy of a man with a "theory"
Darlene
Debby, I agree; that now is NOT a good time for you to QUIT!
Blue, there are some things on your plate that are making it bad for you right now too. . . . . .
Sandie, there is a reason you have avoided this thread, and you must ask yourself if it is right for you to try to quit now also.
Just, please, all of you; remember that when the time is right you CAN QUIT. You are all much stronger than any addiction and have come thru worse times than what you face now. . . . .
I love and respect each of you and trust you to know "when you have had ENOUGH!!!!
I am sorry if I "Preached" in the past but, as the Apostle Paul said, "The man with an "experience" is never at the mercy of a man with a "theory"
Darlene
I truly hope that all here who smoke will be able to quit someday. It is so very bad for you and believe me you will feel so much better if you do quit. I smoked for about 14 years. I got a very bad throat and it hurt so much to smoke I didnt for a week.I decided not to start again. It was not easy though. I would have dreams that I was smoking.:laughing: It has been 19 years since I had a smoke.
Good luck to those of you who are trying to quit. They say too that the more times you try to quit the closer you are to actually giving it up for good.
Good luck to those of you who are trying to quit. They say too that the more times you try to quit the closer you are to actually giving it up for good.
Blue, Debby and everyone who finds it hard to quit!
I smoke too and I too find it extremely hard to quit. I have certain periods when it's easy for me to control it and I only smoke one cigarette a day. Quitting, however, has always been difficult. I've tried a couple of times and managed to stay away for as much as four months. But I think that everything comes in its own time and so is quitting. There will come a time when you'll just tell yourself OK I'll have no more of this, it doesn;t give me any pleasure any longer.
For now I still get my little pleasures - a cup of coffee in the morning, a bottle of beer in the evening, a nice meal, my cat by all means, by boyfriend and so on. I feel young and I do want to enjoy them while I am.
Don't get me wrong I'm not saying that smoking is a good thing. It is deffinitely a horrible habbit but.....we all have our little vices, don't we ???
You shouldn't make that too difficult upon you - you know that teh forbidden fruit is always the sweetest.
And just to finsih off - I do hate smoking because it makes me dependent and I do hate being dependent.
So try as much as you can but take it easy - it will go in its own time
Love
I smoke too and I too find it extremely hard to quit. I have certain periods when it's easy for me to control it and I only smoke one cigarette a day. Quitting, however, has always been difficult. I've tried a couple of times and managed to stay away for as much as four months. But I think that everything comes in its own time and so is quitting. There will come a time when you'll just tell yourself OK I'll have no more of this, it doesn;t give me any pleasure any longer.
For now I still get my little pleasures - a cup of coffee in the morning, a bottle of beer in the evening, a nice meal, my cat by all means, by boyfriend and so on. I feel young and I do want to enjoy them while I am.
Don't get me wrong I'm not saying that smoking is a good thing. It is deffinitely a horrible habbit but.....we all have our little vices, don't we ???
You shouldn't make that too difficult upon you - you know that teh forbidden fruit is always the sweetest.
And just to finsih off - I do hate smoking because it makes me dependent and I do hate being dependent.
So try as much as you can but take it easy - it will go in its own time
Love
Billie....I SO agree with you!!! Geez I wish we could meet!!!
smoking is not a good thing, or I suppose is drinking...but neither is eating fattening foods, having unsafe sex, or using public restrooms....my god...nothing is safe anymore...and though I do realize that smoking is bad, and causes cancer, and I think anyone who smokes should try to stop, but think about it...we get in cars every day and drive...but do you klnow how many people are killed in auto accidents everyday? So should we say...well heck...I better take the bus.
What I am trying to say is that smoking is bad, yes. it could kill you. It would be good to quit. But so is overeating, or unsafe sex, or driving when you are sleepy....I could go on and on....but the bottom line is...there are alot of things that can and will kill you. But if you are not quite ready to give one of them up...then don't let people make you feel guity...just do it in your own time...when you are really ready.
smoking is not a good thing, or I suppose is drinking...but neither is eating fattening foods, having unsafe sex, or using public restrooms....my god...nothing is safe anymore...and though I do realize that smoking is bad, and causes cancer, and I think anyone who smokes should try to stop, but think about it...we get in cars every day and drive...but do you klnow how many people are killed in auto accidents everyday? So should we say...well heck...I better take the bus.
What I am trying to say is that smoking is bad, yes. it could kill you. It would be good to quit. But so is overeating, or unsafe sex, or driving when you are sleepy....I could go on and on....but the bottom line is...there are alot of things that can and will kill you. But if you are not quite ready to give one of them up...then don't let people make you feel guity...just do it in your own time...when you are really ready.
Dear Blue and others trying to kick the smoking habit,
Smoking is an addiction. Nicotine is actually harder to kick than cocaine, so will power is good to try, but if it doesn't work, many people end up with problems of guilt, a sense of failure, and lowered self-esteem. That doesn't improve the situation.
Various physical disciplines that include some kind of spiritual side, such as kung-fu, tai-chi, or yoga, can be very helpful. And they also help to trim and tone the body and increase oxygen to the brain -- factors that can have intense beneficial impact on many people.
The best way I know is a regular meditation technique. The most successful one I have seen is taught globally by the Transcendental Meditation group, but of course you have to do it twice a day for it to work. Typically, it works over a period of one to two years, but I have also seen heavy smokers have only a few experiences with their meditation who simply wake up one morning and are too sickened by the smell of cigarettes to even be in the same room with smokers. The same effect applies to drinking alcohol. One becomes very sensitive to alcohol fumes, and most meditators simply stop fairly soon after learning.
I think most regular meditation practice should have a similar effect to TM -- I have rarely met any kind of serious meditator who smokes or takes more than a glass of wine with a meal. And while you are losing your various addictions, you are also gaining deeper rest and relaxation and reducing stress.
Replacing one addiction (nicotine or alcohol) with another drug to fight addiction seems to me to be the wrong way to go. But meditation and physical disciplines take time to make a difference, and people get impatient and can't stick with the regularity of these techniques. There is where the will power has to be applied -- sticking to the practice. Just learning a technique doesn't do the job. It doesn't work if you don't follow the regimen of daily practice.
Don't know if that helps, but I've seen a lot of people in my long life permanently cured of both drugs and alcohol by this combination of physical and meditation practice.
And you don't have to try to force yourself to give up smoking (or alcohol, or overeating...), because ultimately you just let go of the problems.
Don't know if this is very helpful. But it sure ended my social drinking (which was getting somewhat out of hand) with a thud on the same day that I learned to meditate, and from that same meditation class, there were a large number of smokers. About half of those who continued to meditate regularly stopped smoking quite spontaneously within six months, while the rest stopped over a course of the next year or two.
I wish you all good luck. Smoking is a real curse.
Catherine
Smoking is an addiction. Nicotine is actually harder to kick than cocaine, so will power is good to try, but if it doesn't work, many people end up with problems of guilt, a sense of failure, and lowered self-esteem. That doesn't improve the situation.
Various physical disciplines that include some kind of spiritual side, such as kung-fu, tai-chi, or yoga, can be very helpful. And they also help to trim and tone the body and increase oxygen to the brain -- factors that can have intense beneficial impact on many people.
The best way I know is a regular meditation technique. The most successful one I have seen is taught globally by the Transcendental Meditation group, but of course you have to do it twice a day for it to work. Typically, it works over a period of one to two years, but I have also seen heavy smokers have only a few experiences with their meditation who simply wake up one morning and are too sickened by the smell of cigarettes to even be in the same room with smokers. The same effect applies to drinking alcohol. One becomes very sensitive to alcohol fumes, and most meditators simply stop fairly soon after learning.
I think most regular meditation practice should have a similar effect to TM -- I have rarely met any kind of serious meditator who smokes or takes more than a glass of wine with a meal. And while you are losing your various addictions, you are also gaining deeper rest and relaxation and reducing stress.
Replacing one addiction (nicotine or alcohol) with another drug to fight addiction seems to me to be the wrong way to go. But meditation and physical disciplines take time to make a difference, and people get impatient and can't stick with the regularity of these techniques. There is where the will power has to be applied -- sticking to the practice. Just learning a technique doesn't do the job. It doesn't work if you don't follow the regimen of daily practice.
Don't know if that helps, but I've seen a lot of people in my long life permanently cured of both drugs and alcohol by this combination of physical and meditation practice.
And you don't have to try to force yourself to give up smoking (or alcohol, or overeating...), because ultimately you just let go of the problems.
Don't know if this is very helpful. But it sure ended my social drinking (which was getting somewhat out of hand) with a thud on the same day that I learned to meditate, and from that same meditation class, there were a large number of smokers. About half of those who continued to meditate regularly stopped smoking quite spontaneously within six months, while the rest stopped over a course of the next year or two.
I wish you all good luck. Smoking is a real curse.
Catherine
Catherine! Thank you SO much for your advice!!!!
I also want to give you a warm welcome here!
Thanks for joining us!!!!!!!!!
I hope you will tell us more about yourself and your cat/cats.
I also really listened to what you said about the meditation....especailly how you never wanted to drink or smoke ever again after the first session!!!!!!!!!!! I would like some more information, but I can't beleive it could be that easy for me.
I also want to give you a warm welcome here!
Thanks for joining us!!!!!!!!!
I also really listened to what you said about the meditation....especailly how you never wanted to drink or smoke ever again after the first session!!!!!!!!!!! I would like some more information, but I can't beleive it could be that easy for me.
Dear Debby, Actually the hardest things often turn out to be the easiest to accomplish. I suggest the TM method simply because you don't get caught up in a guru dependency to replace a cigarette (or alcohol or chocolate or drugs) dependency, and because it is the absolute rock-bottom easiest technique I have ever learned. It is taught by a world-wide organization that has branches all over the place (I once took an advanced course in Germany, and went for advice and a checking to teachers in Paris), so you can always ask a teacher if you have problems with your meditation.
And no, I don't work for them and my own practice and teaching have become somewhat more mixed and eclectic. I just happen to be a rather solitary person when it comes to my spiritual and inner life. I followed the TM method rigidly for over 20 years and got a lot of benefit from the technique, but after that I began to learn things through my meditation that led me along slightly different paths.
The thing about the TMers is that you can learn the technique and gain the benefits without getting involved in their deeper programs and beliefs. You don't have to spend more than the flat fee charged for the teaching, it takes a few simple meetings to learn, and then you can be as active in their programs -- or as inactive -- as you want. Other methods often involve a guru-like teacher who somehow manages to assume the mantle of an all-wise master/father image. Not at all for me, although I have the utmost respect for the founder of the organization and a great appreciation for his bringing the technique west.
Which is all a way of saying that most techniques would help you, but many try to enlist your time, energies, and money in a continuous, structural way. The TMers don't really care if you get more involved with them or not and they don't pester you to do anything.
A long-winded way of saying, if you can afford whatever their fee is these days, you might give it a try -- always remembering that no meditation works its miracles if you don't do it on a regular basis.
There are two major commitments that you have to make -- one is to take a course of teaching in order to learn a technique.
---when I took it 30 years ago, the TM one consisted of two lectures, the actual initiation into the technique -- which took about 40 minutes altogether -- and three group meetings after that to get the reinforcement of other people taking the technique at the same time --- after that, aside from a brief checking with a teacher about a month later, you don't ever have to see the group again if you don't want to.
The second commitment is to force yourself to set aside the 20 minutes in the morning and in the late afternoon to do the meditation, and then try very hard not to miss -- especially in the early days.
Addictions, phobias, and habitual behavior patterns are often hard to break in a few months, even with meditation. But what meditation does is give you a strucuture that doesn't even discuss your addiction. You don't have to confess anything to anyone, accept a guru, savior, god, or any other belief structure, or feel guilty if you miss a meditation. You have only your inner self to be open with, and if you find the Creator somewhere along the way, that is your business and not anyone else's. The only goal you have is to lose stress. Along the way you somehow learn your worth and find self-esteem and self-confidence. The process is automatic. It is so easy to do that meditation can be taught to children and to the retarded and the mentally ill.
On a whole different approach, try substituting a sack of sunflower seeds (unshelled) when you crave a cigarette. They are the most tedious things imaginable to eat, but it occupies your hands to put them into your mouth, and your mouth to crack the hull, and a certain amount of mental and physical involvement to get the seed out and eat it. A certain amount of smoking is automatic and oral. People recommend chewing gum, but sunflower seeds are much more nutritious -- and you can eat them all day without putting on weight or ruining your lungs. As an alternative when you don't have a big sack of sunflower seeds in your purse, you can carry around a small one of mixed nuts -- cashews and almonds are nice, or pecans and almonds, and you can also add some raisins to the mix -- about five or six nuts (and a few raisins) whenever you feel the urge to put something in your mouth is, again, nutritious, satisfyingly crunchy, and gratifies the urge to be fed. Most nuts are cholesterol-free or have the "good" cholesterol, but keep away from salted or sugared nuts.
Back briefly to meditation, if you do take up a technique, you may find that one or several of your cats will spontaneously come and cuddle up against you quietly when you are meditating. The TMers always say to lock out the animals, since they create distraction. And that is true in the earlier days -- until the technique becomes completely automatic. But I find my meditations very much enhanced by my cats. Since I usually sit cross-legged on the bed to meditate, as many as three or four of the cats will join me, most often lying curled along my back and sides -- one special, very sensitive cat always rests her head on my thigh. They are so quiet about it, I often don't even know they have come until after I finish meditating. For some reason, they react to the meditation by total silence and immobility. Dogs, except very unusual ones, generally have to be excluded, since they seem to become worried that maybe you have left them alone -- which, in a sense, you have -- so they will poke you constantly to see if you are still alive! I have one dog who will try to drive the cats away -- does she think they are harming me in some way?? is she only jealous? --so I usually put a barrier across the door so I don't have any interruptions.
Good luck to you Debby, and all the others who are suffering from the habit of smoking. When you are ready to find solutions, you will find them.
Peace, Catherine
And no, I don't work for them and my own practice and teaching have become somewhat more mixed and eclectic. I just happen to be a rather solitary person when it comes to my spiritual and inner life. I followed the TM method rigidly for over 20 years and got a lot of benefit from the technique, but after that I began to learn things through my meditation that led me along slightly different paths.
The thing about the TMers is that you can learn the technique and gain the benefits without getting involved in their deeper programs and beliefs. You don't have to spend more than the flat fee charged for the teaching, it takes a few simple meetings to learn, and then you can be as active in their programs -- or as inactive -- as you want. Other methods often involve a guru-like teacher who somehow manages to assume the mantle of an all-wise master/father image. Not at all for me, although I have the utmost respect for the founder of the organization and a great appreciation for his bringing the technique west.
Which is all a way of saying that most techniques would help you, but many try to enlist your time, energies, and money in a continuous, structural way. The TMers don't really care if you get more involved with them or not and they don't pester you to do anything.
A long-winded way of saying, if you can afford whatever their fee is these days, you might give it a try -- always remembering that no meditation works its miracles if you don't do it on a regular basis.
There are two major commitments that you have to make -- one is to take a course of teaching in order to learn a technique.
---when I took it 30 years ago, the TM one consisted of two lectures, the actual initiation into the technique -- which took about 40 minutes altogether -- and three group meetings after that to get the reinforcement of other people taking the technique at the same time --- after that, aside from a brief checking with a teacher about a month later, you don't ever have to see the group again if you don't want to.
The second commitment is to force yourself to set aside the 20 minutes in the morning and in the late afternoon to do the meditation, and then try very hard not to miss -- especially in the early days.
Addictions, phobias, and habitual behavior patterns are often hard to break in a few months, even with meditation. But what meditation does is give you a strucuture that doesn't even discuss your addiction. You don't have to confess anything to anyone, accept a guru, savior, god, or any other belief structure, or feel guilty if you miss a meditation. You have only your inner self to be open with, and if you find the Creator somewhere along the way, that is your business and not anyone else's. The only goal you have is to lose stress. Along the way you somehow learn your worth and find self-esteem and self-confidence. The process is automatic. It is so easy to do that meditation can be taught to children and to the retarded and the mentally ill.
On a whole different approach, try substituting a sack of sunflower seeds (unshelled) when you crave a cigarette. They are the most tedious things imaginable to eat, but it occupies your hands to put them into your mouth, and your mouth to crack the hull, and a certain amount of mental and physical involvement to get the seed out and eat it. A certain amount of smoking is automatic and oral. People recommend chewing gum, but sunflower seeds are much more nutritious -- and you can eat them all day without putting on weight or ruining your lungs. As an alternative when you don't have a big sack of sunflower seeds in your purse, you can carry around a small one of mixed nuts -- cashews and almonds are nice, or pecans and almonds, and you can also add some raisins to the mix -- about five or six nuts (and a few raisins) whenever you feel the urge to put something in your mouth is, again, nutritious, satisfyingly crunchy, and gratifies the urge to be fed. Most nuts are cholesterol-free or have the "good" cholesterol, but keep away from salted or sugared nuts.
Back briefly to meditation, if you do take up a technique, you may find that one or several of your cats will spontaneously come and cuddle up against you quietly when you are meditating. The TMers always say to lock out the animals, since they create distraction. And that is true in the earlier days -- until the technique becomes completely automatic. But I find my meditations very much enhanced by my cats. Since I usually sit cross-legged on the bed to meditate, as many as three or four of the cats will join me, most often lying curled along my back and sides -- one special, very sensitive cat always rests her head on my thigh. They are so quiet about it, I often don't even know they have come until after I finish meditating. For some reason, they react to the meditation by total silence and immobility. Dogs, except very unusual ones, generally have to be excluded, since they seem to become worried that maybe you have left them alone -- which, in a sense, you have -- so they will poke you constantly to see if you are still alive! I have one dog who will try to drive the cats away -- does she think they are harming me in some way?? is she only jealous? --so I usually put a barrier across the door so I don't have any interruptions.
Good luck to you Debby, and all the others who are suffering from the habit of smoking. When you are ready to find solutions, you will find them.
Peace, Catherine
Well, I am glad I finally peeped in here.
Welcome Catherine! So glad to see you here! I do hope you'll make an introduction thread too so you can get a proper welcome. I hope you have the time and energy to post often - I just know you have so much to contribute to the site! I will email you soon, as soon as I regain control over my Inbox
Debby, check out the statistics. Smoking is about 10 times more likely to kill you than a car accident. Sure, you never know where it's coming from, but why add risks? Besides, smoking is a form of self-mutiliation. You are hurting your lungs and other parts of your body on a daily basis. I know that you are a deeply religious person and I think that God wouldn't want you to hurt you (His creation) like this.
I don't smoke and never have so I don't want to sound like I'm criticizing you. It is not my place and I can't begin to realize what you're going through while quitting. I just wish all of the smokers here would find the time and willpower to quit soon - I really love you all and I'd hate to see anything nasty happen to you because of smoking!
Welcome Catherine! So glad to see you here! I do hope you'll make an introduction thread too so you can get a proper welcome. I hope you have the time and energy to post often - I just know you have so much to contribute to the site! I will email you soon, as soon as I regain control over my Inbox
Debby, check out the statistics. Smoking is about 10 times more likely to kill you than a car accident. Sure, you never know where it's coming from, but why add risks? Besides, smoking is a form of self-mutiliation. You are hurting your lungs and other parts of your body on a daily basis. I know that you are a deeply religious person and I think that God wouldn't want you to hurt you (His creation) like this.
I don't smoke and never have so I don't want to sound like I'm criticizing you. It is not my place and I can't begin to realize what you're going through while quitting. I just wish all of the smokers here would find the time and willpower to quit soon - I really love you all and I'd hate to see anything nasty happen to you because of smoking!
I smoked for 10 years and decided it was time to quit. I friend at worked got hypnotized to quit smoking he said there were not side effects, no cravings, no irritability, etc. So I gave it a try and he was right. I had no problems quitting, it was like I nevered smoked. You might want to check into this, I would highly recommend it. Smoke free for 4 years and proud of it.
Good Luck,
Missy
Good Luck,
Missy
