Please help! I'm trying to introduce a new kitten to my cat, but I'm terrified he will hurt her.

[charlies mom]

Thank you for the advice. My cat isn't really food motivated, he turns his nose up to allot of treats. I did order some that he does really like, I will try giving treats and petting in the next together session. After reading the article I do think it was over stimulation.

Is it a good ideas to hold the kitten while in the same room with the adult cat?

 

[catlover73]

I would not try holding the kitten while doing face to face interactions. This would limit the kitten being able to escape easily if something goes wrong. I would also be worried about you getting injured if she gets scared. You also risk getting injured by Charlie trying to interact with the kitten. If he gets over-stimulated or she gets scared you run too much of a risk getting bitten or scratched up badly.

 

[hbunny]

We did both ways with our two.  I would hold one, husband hold the other, then we sat in the floor near each other (but not within swiping distance) and petted and gave treats just with them near each other.  It is supposed to create a positive impression of being near the other...so they think, "Oh, if I'm near him, I get something nice that I like".  That was what worked for us.  My old guy loves his belly rubbed, so I would sit with him upside down on my lap where he could see the younger one, and just rub his belly until he started purring.  I've seen others post though that the playing together worked well, but with two closer to the same age, or two young cats. 

 

[catlover73]

I do agree with having one person hold each cat as mentioned above. It will be much safer with having 2 people involved because one person will be able to watch each cat.

 

[govtlawyer]

*

It is hard watching one cat on his back and the other on top biting him.  Yet, being on the back is the submissive pose, which should be expected from a young kitten; and. the cat on top is dominant.  Only thing I can say is to keep on what you're doing.  A good thing is play with a toy, like a feather on a wand or something else which gets them both interested.  When they are both in the play mode they will ignore each other, even if brushing against each other, as they are entranced with the toy.  Keep it up.  have patience.  have faith.  It can take a number of months before you feel more comfortable.  In the end it is worth it.

 

[charlies mom]

It's been about three weeks since the kitten came home, and I still feel like progress is slow. They are still separated for the majority of the day. They have face to face every day. They can play separately while in the same room, that will usually last a couple of minutes and then the chasing starts. Seems okay at first, until he pins her down. He'll bite her and kick her with his hind legs. While this is happening the baby tends to scream bloody murder. At this point I usually separate them. I always check the kitten to see if she has any bite marks. She never has any physical signs of damage. At this point I usually put her back in her room behind the baby gate. Not even two minutes later she comes back out to meet the big cat and tries to play again.

I feel like progress is slow, is there any hope for them living in harmony?

 

[pearl99]

I'm not terribly experienced at introducing cats and getting them used to each other, but I can say there is definitely hope in my opinion. My experience currently is that after about 3 months my 2 year old cat Waffles and my daughter's kitten (7 months old) can now be together .

Going slow and a step at a time has been the key for me.

I did it too fast at first, so backtracked. Had them on either side of a closed door for several days (they played pawsies under the door), then Waffles (the newcomer) in his room with 3 stacked lattice baby gates with a towel draped except for the bottom 2-3 inches- Beans was loose in the house- and I'd feed them canned food (high value) and give them treats that way daily. I think that was the key for my kitties.
Then, the towel higher, continued feeding on each side. I'd swap the room too, Beans in there and Waffles in the house. They started playing paws and staring with no hissing or aggression through the gate. When Waffles would lay on his back to play with Beans I knew I had him .
Then, Waffles out in the house for short periods. Beans was scared, and spent a lot of time up high just observing, and if any aggression would separate them, back to the baby gates.
Beans has gradually gained confidence and with him getting older he will now chase Waffles, they take turns chasing. Once Waffles got a mouthful of fur from Beans, got a picture of him with Beans black fur in his mouth looking quite satisfied- kind of like a lesson that "hey I'm in charge."
They are together only when we are home.
The biggest progress was with feeding together I felt. And, Beans gaining confidence to not back down.
I am doing playing with toys together, too.
Like I said there are people more experienced than me, but that's what I've been through.
Waffles is a semi-feral cat I adopted from a shelter almost 3 months ago. He's made great strides with time and patience, so I certainly think your Charlie will do fine!

 

[hbunny]

It's been about three weeks since the kitten came home, and I still feel like progress is slow. They are still separated for the majority of the day. They have face to face every day. They can play separately while in the same room, that will usually last a couple of minutes and then the chasing starts. Seems okay at first, until he pins her down. He'll bite her and kick her with his hind legs. While this is happening the baby tends to scream bloody murder. At this point I usually separate them. I always check the kitten to see if she has any bite marks. She never has any physical signs of damage. At this point I usually put her back in her room behind the baby gate. Not even two minutes later she comes back out to meet the big cat and tries to play again.

I feel like progress is slow, is there any hope for them living in harmony?

3 weeks is actually a very short amount of time in cat time.  Like I said, it took 7 months for mine to cohabitate without fur-flying (sometimes bloody) encounters.  Be patient.  I wouldn't let them loose together without someone ready to snatch one up before they make contact at this point.  I think it is just too soon for them to be able to have actual contact other than visual.

Cat time is very different than our time, and from my long, sometimes horrid experience, I have learned their timetable of forming relationships is very different than any other animal I have encountered.  That being said, I will say it was all worth it.  Mine now happily snooze together on the bed, the younger follows the older around nonstop (to his dismay, but he tolerates it), and they eat together just fine.  They have become house buddies...maybe not BFF's, but buddies who just hang out.

Don't rush things.  It can cause setbacks, resentment from the cat with the most seniority, and you will have to start all over again with complete separation.  I would definitely at this point keep hands on while they are in the same room.

 

[charlies mom]

Thank you to everyone who posted in this thread and got me through this thing. I am happy to say the cats are getting along pretty well now.

 

[hbunny]

I am so happy to hear this!!  How wonderful! 
Hopefully it is the beginning of a long and happy friendship.

My guys are like brothers from other mothers now too.  They have set their boundaries with each other, and both respect the other.  That was a major milestone.  Now you never see one in a room without another.  They stick together---not lovey-dovey with each other, just a lick on the head passes between them occasionally, but they are always hanging out together!  You would never have made me believe that was even possible 11 months ago!

 

[charlies mom]

I am so happy to hear this!!  How wonderful! 

Hopefully it is the beginning of a long and happy friendship.
My guys are like brothers from other mothers now too.  They have set their boundaries with each other, and both respect the other.  That was a major milestone.  Now you never see one in a room without another.  They stick together---not lovey-dovey with each other, just a lick on the head passes between them occasionally, but they are always hanging out together!  You would never have made me believe that was even possible 11 months ago!

I'm so happy to hear that too. Thanks for all the advice you gave me.

 

[hbunny]

You are welcome....please share pictures of them when you can!!

 

[charlies mom]

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• charlies mom
• Jan 5, 2017

 

[charlies mom]

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• charlies mom
• Jan 5, 2017

 

[charlies mom]

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• charlies mom
• Jan 5, 2017

 

[catlover73]

It is great to see your babies hanging out together. They both look happy and comfortable.

 

[hbunny]

I'm loving it!  I love to see fur buddies!!

 

[charlies mom]

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• charlies mom
• Jan 24, 2017

This happened today! So thankful for all the advice in introducing my cats. I hope I can help someone else in the future.

 

[hbunny]

This happened today! So thankful for all the advice in introducing my cats. I hope I can help someone else in the future.

Another great success story!  Yay!  I loved seeing this, thanks for the update!

My boys are still not BFF's....but they do chase each other (play) now and they are always within a foot of each other, day and night.  My old guy is deaf...and as annoyed as he gets with the younger one, I think he really likes him nearby---although he will never admit it