Please help... I feel like giving up

[Amelia2423]

I have posted a few times on here trying to find a solution for my cats behavior problems. She has been the most difficult cat I have ever owned and I tried to help her the best I could. I had a life change back in 2017 and moved away from home and unfortunately had to leave my cat behind until I could get my own place. The following year, my brother contacts me and says that I need to take her or he will surrender her. He said the landlord did not want two cats to be living at the residency. With little time to make a decision, I chose to fly her out to the state I was in. I feel that was the worst thing for me to do looking back but I reacted out of emotion. She had a very stressful flight. To begin, my brother and family friend were not very nice to her and my cat ended up missing her flight. Then she was held in a layover. The whole process took over a day to get her and certainly was not as planned. Once I got her, she was stressed out. I noticed she started peeing outside of litter box after a couple of weeks being in the new home. She would stop sometimes then pee again once in awhile. She has peed on my bill statements, my purse, my clothes, in the corner of the house and in the floor air vent. This has cause frustration and embarrassment because my house never smells clean. She also has a puking problem that is just as bad as the peeing. She will stop puking once in awhile then puke a week straight. When I take her to the vet, she gets nausea medicine but nothing seems to work. Shes had blood work done and xrays and they never seem to find anything. I am thinking she has anxiety but I am unsure how to deal with her and even more unsure that her behavior will ever get better. Please help. I have tried everything I could think of. Even got her anxiety medicine but had to take her off when she starting puking again. Does anyone have a suggestion for me? Has anyone had similar problems with their cat as well and managed to find a solution? I am at the point where I am looking at surrendering her at an animal sanctuary.

 

[Marqueax]

How ironic to read your post just now. My niece and her new husband just went through this. They each brought 2 children and 3 cats each to their marriage last year.

They have been a couple 10yrs but each had their own home, they sold hers when they married and she moved to his house.There was adjustment for all to make their blended family work but after a year everyone adapted except her cat HP. He went from being the orange tabby king of his home to having to share with 3 other orange kitty boys one who was even larger than he is. He struck out with a vengeance and started peeing everywhere and on everything they tried everything. Pills, Feliway spray, tranquilizer and even had surgery preformed. Nothing worked and shebwas heartbroken they were going to have to rehome him or surrender him to a shelter for pets that are unadoptable, it was sad.

A friend of hers told her about a new Feliway product that worked for her it was the Feliway Multicat Diffuser. My neice told me the kits were expensive but she loves HP and had him since he was a kitten. He lived with me for a couple of years due to rental rules at a place she moved to, but he was happy to get back to his family. She thought this last move may of been one too many for him he's 12 yrs old.

Well I ordered a diffuser for her and she ordered one that covered their house. She said the minute she plugged them in it started working and she was shocked. He had a better personality, he quit fighting with other kitties in the house and most important the peeing pretty much stopped
He didn't pee mark anything and has only slipped a time or two in the past 3 months. They are so happy and very surprised since the Feliway spray didn't work.

The vet is saying that since its in the air all the time and has a different formula than the spray its keeping him calm and happy. Give it a try and see if it will work for you and your kitty kid. We ordered it from Amazon here's the link.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01AVHPFDS/?tag=thecatsite

 

[Marqueax]

PS... she also stopped using cat litter with deoderizing chips in it.

 

[Jcatbird]

I have also had an anxious cat and others here have too. I am assuming you have a good vet who thoroughly checked her out. That said.... let’s try asking about other things. Have you tried simple calming products? Feliway diffuser? Putting a shirt with your scent on it where she can always have that to lay on. She is spayed? Does she have a very quiet cubby or cat cave to retreat to when she feels stressed? Her own place that no human has been? A carrier or other dark, small space? Pouring affection is definitely needed to reestablish her feeling of love and safety. When they pee everywhere, it tends to stress the humans and the cat does pick up on that. Tense humans, tense tone of voice etc. can keep her stress intact. Jackson Galaxy has some calming products that others here used with success. Silvervine seems to be enjoyed by many cats and I just saw a video where a stray feral was turned into a relaxed kitty and it enabled him to earn a place in a great home. Furballsmom and Mamanyt1953 calming methods please!

Have you tried using the methods we use to socialize a cat from the very beginning as though she were a feral? I think that would really work if other methods don’t. I would gladly walk you through that. You would start by putting her in a small room, like a bathroom and introduce yourself to her like you just met for the very first time. Start over with her. Give her time to relearn trust with humans since her trust was violated by others. Cats are very forgiving but it takes time to earn their trust. Especially after what you described. Considering those events, she really isn’t reacting as badly as could be expected. I’m not ignoring how bad having urine everywhere can be but embarrassment is not as bad as what she seems to have experienced. It sounds like you are saying she suffered some emotional abuse if not more? Please start over with her. Don’t give up! My cat Purry was abused and it took a while before I understood why he peed on everything. My house reeked and I never knew what I would find soaked in urine next! Awkward? You bet! Embarrassing? Yep! However, I loved him and once I knew his health was good, I knew he was suffering some other kind of pain. Once in awhile he slips up if he gets really scared but it is rare now and I recognize the signs of his stress so I just go back to the way I found that alleviates his fear and anxiety. It always works. Please don’t feel so bad or embarrassed. You are doing something heroic! You did the right thing by saving her! Passing her to a shelter will likely end very badly for her. The fear and mistrust will increase. You are her lifeline. You are her family and she will relearn the trust if you keep showing her that everything is okay, no one will fuss, yell, or treat her as though she does not matter the way she was treated during that flight. You obviously love her a great deal to have hung in there. Can you remember the first thing you did the first time you saw her? Start from there and do that! Please try giving her a small bathroom to live in right now. Take kitten steps in getting to know her again. Having her in the bathroom will protect your house and you can go in the room to actually enjoy her company. Play with her, love on her, groom her if she likes being brushed or combed, feed her treats by hand and just sit or lay on the floor with her. If you get bored doing this, read to her or play some calming music. Take a nap on a blanket with her. Let her begin as though she were your baby kitten again. Please keep me updated. Tag me if needed or PM me. Anything I can do, I will do. If you are frustrated, I will listen and understand. Been there too.

 

[FeebysOwner]

Hi. I can't offer any more than what you have been given already - but, I did want to ask a question: was the anxiety med effective before you had to take her off of it due to the vomiting? If it was, you might want to ask the vet about getting it compounded in the form of a transdermal gel and if that would avoid any possible stomach upset, given it would be going directly into her bloodstream and not through her digestive tract.

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi! You might try a different vet.
Also, cat music can help; there's YouTube, Spotify, RelaxMyCat and MusicForCats as sources to consider.

Feliway multicat may help if you haven't tried it, and there are these;

Only Natural Pet has a calming product called Just Relax Calming spray with essential oil (catnip oil).

There's this one, be sure and scroll all the way down the page;

Bach Remedies for Pets: Discover the Power of Bach Flower Remedies

Learn how Bach Remedies can help your pets with anxiety, stress, and behavioral issues. Find out more about Bach Flower Remedies for pets here.

www.bachflower.com

Also, there is ThunderWunders calming chews, Richard's Organic Pet Calm drops, Naturevet Hemp, HomeoPet Anxiety Relief, Head to Tail Calming, Relaxivet Quiet Moments Cat treats, GNC Calming formula, and there is Calm-o-mile, Natures Miracle calming spray, Vetri-Science's Composure is another item to look at, Pet Remedy - UK (it has valerian) is yet another, as is Essential Pet Pet-eze, Pet Organics No Stress, Only Natural Pet (brand and website) has other calming products, Pet Naturals also has one I believe, and there are others.

Lambert Vet Supply is a website to look at, and of course chewy, also there's Petwishpros, animaleo, 1-800-petmeds, Petco and PetSmart, and other pet stores.

There is also a product called a lickimat which could be helpful, as cats can be calmed by the process of licking.

The LickiMat - Food Puzzles for Cats

This is a fantastic new tool to slow down those cats that eat wet food too quickly. Available in three different textures and two colors. Easy to wash and clean, easy to fill. This could also be used as a tool while introducing new cats to each other since it will slow down their eating […]

foodpuzzlesforcats.com

This post talks about some other products;

Calming Treats For A Very Picky Cat

I'm at a loss with my pickiest cat on what calming treats to give him. He rejects both that I've tried. NaturVet Quiet Moments was a straight no. Composure by VetriScience gave me hope at first, he ate one treat, but the next day turned up his nose, and hasn't gone near them since. He sees me...

thecatsite.com

 

[sunny578]

Hello! I'm sorry to hear about all of the issues you are having

I have dealt intense litter box issues with my cat, so maybe I can help.

A few questions--
How old is your cat?
How long have you had her this second time around?
How long have her litter box issues been going on?
Do you notice any triggers?
Does she have outside access?
Have other animals ever lived in your current home?
What is her preferred litter box set up?
What is your living space like? (carpet? other family members?)

How many times a week is she vomiting? I also had a cat that vomited a ton. We switched her to a raw diet, and that helped quite a bit, but she still vomited maybe 2 -4 times a month, which I guess can be normal in cats.

 

[tiddlepoo2]

hi. sorry to hear about your kitty's problems. just to add another idea to explore on top of all of the above advice.. have you thought of trying homeopathy? we have a sick cat and have used homeopathic remedies for his symptoms. he responded very well to the ones for his anxiety and stress. he has complex physical problems too, which are beyond home prescribing, so we are now seeing a homeopathic vet. the homeopathic remedies work a bit like the bach flower remedies, but in the hands of someone skilled, the remedies can be tailored specifically to your cat's particular situation, for instance, they will look at your cat's response to stress rather than just stress in cats. the remedies will end up contributing to her overall health as well, in ways you can't imagine. good luck and hang in there.