Please help!! 7 year old female cat will not accept our new kittens!

[molly120382]

Hi, I'm new to this forum so I'll give a little background first before getting into what the problem is.  My husband and I had 3 cats for the longest time.  Two males that we got as kittens in 2001 and a female tortie that I adopted in 2006 as a 6 month old cat.  They all got along pretty well.  On December 24 2012 we had to put one of the males, Cow, an amazing black and white cat, to sleep after a brief illness (we think it was cancer).  He was the love of our lives.  After a month or so we wanted to get a kitten to help get over the pain of losing him.  I had read that if we got two kittens they could play together and not bother the older cats as much.  I had always wanted a Ragdoll cat, so we found a breeder and on February 9th we picked up two little boys, Beau and Hamlet.  

I had done some research online about the best way to introduce a new cat and for the first week the kittens were sequestered in the bedroom.  Eventually we had to let them out, they were desparate to run around an play.  Our oldest cat, Tig, hissed a bit at first, but is fine with them now. I won't say he loves them, but he isn't aggressive.  Our female, Honey, is another story.  

After three weeks it's still just as bad as it was the first day.  When she sees the kittens she makes this god awful moaning sound and hisses.  She actually lunges at them and tries to hurt them.  Last night I was holding Ham and she made a swipe at him.  Thankfully she hit me, but her claws were out and it drew blood.  I was horrified because if she had landed her mark the kitten would have been injured.  

I did the slow intro, I have feliway spray and the diffuser plugged in.  I have tried transfering their scents back and forth.  It's strange, she still sleeps with me at night and is affectionate towards me.  She just becomes enraged when she sees the kittens.  We are still keeping the kittens in another room at night and while we are at work for their safety.

I was just wondering if anyone else had this problem before and has any advice?  I know that eventually they will get big enough to defend themselves, but I would like to allow them to walk around the house freely before then.  I am considering asking my vet about anti-anxiety meds for her but I would prefer a natural solution.  Getting rid of her or the kittens is not an option.  

Thanks in advance!

 

[txcatmom]

There are calming drops to add to food you can try like bach's rescue remedy.  I've heard of calming collars too, but have never tried one. 

One week might not have been slow enough for introductions.  I know you thought they needed out, but a bedroom should be big enough for kittens for a while.  During our last two rounds of introductions the new cat was isolated for a month each time (partly for health reasons, but I think the extra time was good for the introduction process.)  They were in small rooms, but had vertical room for climbing.  Also, there were some steps in-between isolation and letting them meet face to face (some even install a screen door...that didn't seem practical to us but we cracked the door for them to slowly get used to the sight of each other...lots of treats with the door cracked.)   There are tons of good articles out there on the topic of introduction....I'm sure you've read some.  Some folks find it necessary to do "reintroductions" and start the process over.  It sounds like a good idea to only have supervised visits for now (which it sounds like you are doing.)  And, this might seem obvious, but I'd keep Honey's nails trimmed.   

but I would like to allow them to walk around the house freely before then

Are they walking around freely when you let them out now?  I'd definitely let them during the supervised visits (unless you decide you need to isolate them and start over)...just to see more about how they are relating to Honey.  Her noises wouldn't concern me too much, the swiping...a little, but I'd think that fur covered skin would be harder to injure than human skin.  If she sees that they back off when she hisses and swipes, that might make her relax a little. 

I've always found ragdolls quite irresistible too....hope everything works out well for your cat family. 

 

[duckdodgers]

Given time and enough patience they will learn to at least tolerate each other.  I've also been trying to get my 17 year old cat used to the kitten that I got at 6 weeks back in October.  You do have a great advantage in that you have two babies, and I'm assuming that they were removed from their family at an appropriate age unlike Stella.  If your female is still lunging at your kittens with the intent to harm them it is likely that, slow as they may be, the introductions were not slow enough.  I'd start over and try to keep the kittens confined, and let them out to play if there is an opportunity when your female is asleep.  My two cats did not meet face to face until about 2-3 weeks after I got the kitten.  I would also make sure to keep everyone separated while you are away until you are completely comfortable that they won't hurt each other.  After several months I still put Stella in the bedroom/bathroom area, both so nothing happens while I am away and to give the old girl some peace and quiet.
 

 

[sugarcatmom]

Along with what's already been said, I think it's important that you work on developing positive associations for Honey when the kittens are around. Does she like treats? Would she be interested in eating something super yummy when they're in the same room? It helps if you have another person around, one to give treats (or her favourite canned food or some chicken breast or yogurt or whatever she likes the most) to Honey, while the other person prevents the kittens from running over to see what Honey is eating (or gives them treats too!). These should be treats that they *only* get when they're in each other's vicinity, not at any other time. Ever so gradually, give them treats closer and closer to each other. That should be over the course of many days to weeks though - don't push things too fast. 

Play therapy (like with a fishing-rod or wand style feather/fur toy) could also help, but only if the kittens can be prevented from intruding on Honey's space during the play session. Another person will come in handy again by playing with the kittens on one side of the room while the other one focuses their attention on letting Honey have some fun. 

Do you have a spot like a shelf or tall cat tree that Honey can sit on and watch the bratty kittens from above? Might help make her feel more comfortable if she can shower them with looks of disdain without actually having to interact with them on the same level. Hopefully amusement of their playful antics will eventually replace her resentment for their invasion of her territory. Could definitely take some time though, so patience will be key for everyone involved. I went through something similar with my momma cat and her 2 boys (now 2 1/2 yrs old) and the resident oldster (soon to be 20 yrs). After being an only cat for many years, he was quite resistant to the idea of their very existence. Took several months but now he's willing to sit next to them without bopping them on the head. He still doesn't actually LIKE them, but at least he tolerates them. Until they leap-frog him while racing around the house.... then they get the smack-down again (as much as a geriatric, arthritic, visually-impaired cat can deliver a smack-down, that is).

 

[duckdodgers]

Along with what's already been said, I think it's important that you work on developing positive associations for Honey when the kittens are around. Does she like treats? Would she be interested in eating something super yummy when they're in the same room? It helps if you have another person around, one to give treats (or her favourite canned food or some chicken breast or yogurt or whatever she likes the most) to Honey, while the other person prevents the kittens from running over to see what Honey is eating (or gives them treats too!). These should be treats that they *only* get when they're in each other's vicinity, not at any other time. Ever so gradually, give them treats closer and closer to each other. That should be over the course of many days to weeks though - don't push things too fast. 

Play therapy (like with a fishing-rod or wand style feather/fur toy) could also help, but only if the kittens can be prevented from intruding on Honey's space during the play session. Another person will come in handy again by playing with the kittens on one side of the room while the other one focuses their attention on letting Honey have some fun. 

Do you have a spot like a shelf or tall cat tree that Honey can sit on and watch the bratty kittens from above? Might help make her feel more comfortable if she can shower them with looks of disdain without actually having to interact with them on the same level. Hopefully amusement of their playful antics will eventually replace her resentment for their invasion of her territory. Could definitely take some time though, so patience will be key for everyone involved. I went through something similar with my momma cat and her 2 boys (now 2 1/2 yrs old) and the resident oldster (soon to be 20 yrs). After being an only cat for many years, he was quite resistant to the idea of their very existence. Took several months but now he's willing to sit next to them without bopping them on the head. He still doesn't actually LIKE them, but at least he tolerates them. Until they leap-frog him while racing around the house.... then they get the smack-down again (as much as a geriatric, arthritic, visually-impaired cat can deliver a smack-down, that is).

Haha, that sounds just like the dynamics with mine.  The unwarranted head-bopping has finally stopped, but when Stella pounces on the old lady she will still hiss and smack her in the face repeatedly!

I forgot to mention the positive association- make Honey know that good things come when the kittens around.  Give her her favorite type of cat treats only when the kittens are near so that she associates the kittens with her treats.  For awhile I always fed both cats their evening canned meal so that they were in the same room a certain distance apart.  It helped Alafair to learn that to get yummy food she had to put up with the irritating, but preoccupied kitten.

 

[meg19822]

Thank you all for the advice! I was going to try and pull quotes but I am too dumb to figure it out on my iPad. I have been trying the isolation route again. I think I introduced them too fast. My male cat, Tig, is doing great with the kittens. Last night they were all chasing each other around and playing! I haven't seen him that active in a long time, the kittens are good for him. I have been keeping Honey away from them. If she's out roaming the house, they are in the bedroom and vice versa. I have allowed some sniffing with the door just barely cracked open.

The last time I tried to show her a kitten she sniffed him and literally screamed and pounced on him! It scared the bejesus out of me. I'm taking the babies in for their 16 week shots today and will ask my vet what she thinks. I am seriously considering medicating her, at least temporarily. This behavior is making my home life very difficult.