Playful? Aggression?

[Britney91]

Hello. I am Dutch so I apologize in advance if my English may be a bit off.

I adopted a female cat last year and she's my everything. I moved in with my boyfriend with her and he got a male kitten. First my cat was furious at us because we brought in the kitten, but at some point she seemed to have forgiven us haha. Still, she seemed a bit startled by the little creature and tried to hit him often (without the nails) but I would stop her because the kitten was extremely tiny. When the kitten was a bigger she tried to show who is dominant by doing the typical "biting" in the neck thing. Now the kitten is about 6 months old and is already bigger than her. They often play together and they both seek out to play with eachother, but often it becomes not so fun for my cat and she starts yelling and running away while the male kitten jumps on her back and bites her in the neck. He also stands up almost straight sometimes, ready to attack, ears stretched back and jumps at her, often bumping her multiple times against the wall or throwing her off the couch while she falls onto another table etc. This makes me furious, because I see a creature who I love to death be in a position she obviously isn't comfortable with. My boyfriend says she has it coming because my cat often approaches the kitten, but she does that to play and she's fine with playing, but for some reason it then suddenly becomes so aggressive.

Is that still playing? Is it an issue that can be solved with sterilization? Can my cat get hurt? I love them both so much, but I get really upset seeing the adopted cat in such stress, especially since she already has a stress bladder issue.

Thank you in advance!

 

[di and bob]

I go through the same thing, but I hate to tell you, for three years now. I see that the kitten isn't neutered? Now would be a good time, he is getting old enough to become more and more aggressive, and you want to stop any spraying that may get started before it happens and becomes a habit. Neutering is a much more simple operation than spaying the females, he'll be back to normal in a day. Remember the hormones in his body take at least 30 days to leave the body, so it will take a while to lower his aggressive tendencies.
What you are experiencing is perfectly normal. Females are forever, 'mamas' (even if they have never given birth, it is in their genes), the ones who teach manners and teach limits. My little female gets jumped on several times a day, there is screaming and tussling, and this is from her own sons! They know when I say stop it!, or no very loudly they better leave her alone and most times they do or they receive a time out for 5 minutes. (no longer or they forget why they are being punished.) Real fights draw blood and there is deep biting going on, so what is happening is that your kitten giving in to the urge to play attack anything available, and your poor little girl is the target. He is a kitten, and that is what kittens do. What she is doing is teaching him limits, and manners. everything is perfectly normal. It is annoying to her, especially sneak attacks, make sure she has a high place to go to, she needs to defend herself and stand her ground. My Chrissy had a bed on top of the fridge for months. Eventually he will grow up and become less aggressive as most cats do. In the meantime, get a 'kickeroo' for him for Christmas. I get mine on Amazon. Get two and keep one in a plastic bag with catnip to keep it refreshed and interchange them every week. It helps to get rid of excess energy with bunny kicks and they work very well. Throw it towards him when you see him get ready to attack, it will distract him from her. Make sure it is a cat kickeroo, not a dog toy, they have some that look alike, but they don't work near as well I found. For now, you have to step in and make sure things don't get out of hand, say NO very loudly and make sure he knows his jumping on her will not be tolerated by the leader of the pack, you. My little girl runs towards me when I yell no, she knows I will protect her when they get too carried away! You can't change nature, but you can make it a little more pleasant. Good luck, and keep us posted!

 

[Columbine]

Hi and welcome to TCS

This definitely sounds like it's crossing the line from play to dominance/aggression. A significant part of this could well be hormonal, so get the kitten neutered as soon as possible. At 6 months old, he's plenty big enough. It may be a while before you see the full effects of the surgery, though, as it takes around six weeks (if memory serves) for the hormones to fully settle.

In the meantime, give him as much interactive playtime as you can - ideally draining his energy totally a couple of times a day. This should at least help matters, as he'll have less energy to put into dominating your girl. From her perspective, interactive play sessions will help boost her confidence, making her feel more able to stand her ground when the kitten goes too far.
Beating Boredom - What Indoor Cat Owners Need To Know
How To Stop Playtime Aggression In Cats
How To Safely Break Up A Cat Fight
(Hopefully you won't need the techniques in the last article, but it's always useful information to have ).

Feliway can help calm matters in these kinds of situations, so that's worth a try. Opening up more vertical space could help too, especially if you do it in such a way as to remove dead ends. If your girl can't get cornered, she'll likely feel safer and more confident in moving around. If she's really struggling, you could consider a calming supplement, or even anti anxiety medication. Your vet can advise you on the most appropriate approach.
ttps://thecatsite.com/ams/six-surefire-strategies-to-reduce-stress-in-cats.30316/
10 Must-know Tips For Happy Living With A Shy Cat
16 Top Cat Experts Share Tips For Dealing With Timid Cats

You say your girl has urinary issues. I'm adding our articles on the subject, just in case they're of any help:-
Feline Idiopathic Cystitis - How To Improve Your Cat's Quality Of Life
Feline Lower Urinary Tract Disease (flutd)

 

[Britney91]

I go through the same thing, but I hate to tell you, for three years now. I see that the kitten isn't neutered? Now would be a good time, he is getting old enough to become more and more aggressive, and you want to stop any spraying that may get started before it happens and becomes a habit. Neutering is a much more simple operation than spaying the females, he'll be back to normal in a day. Remember the hormones in his body take at least 30 days to leave the body, so it will take a while to lower his aggressive tendencies.
What you are experiencing is perfectly normal. Females are forever, 'mamas' (even if they have never given birth, it is in their genes), the ones who teach manners and teach limits. My little female gets jumped on several times a day, there is screaming and tussling, and this is from her own sons! They know when I say stop it!, or no very loudly they better leave her alone and most times they do or they receive a time out for 5 minutes. (no longer or they forget why they are being punished.) Real fights draw blood and there is deep biting going on, so what is happening is that your kitten giving in to the urge to play attack anything available, and your poor little girl is the target. He is a kitten, and that is what kittens do. What she is doing is teaching him limits, and manners. everything is perfectly normal. It is annoying to her, especially sneak attacks, make sure she has a high place to go to, she needs to defend herself and stand her ground. My Chrissy had a bed on top of the fridge for months. Eventually he will grow up and become less aggressive as most cats do. In the meantime, get a 'kickeroo' for him for Christmas. I get mine on Amazon. Get two and keep one in a plastic bag with catnip to keep it refreshed and interchange them every week. It helps to get rid of excess energy with bunny kicks and they work very well. Throw it towards him when you see him get ready to attack, it will distract him from her. Make sure it is a cat kickeroo, not a dog toy, they have some that look alike, but they don't work near as well I found. For now, you have to step in and make sure things don't get out of hand, say NO very loudly and make sure he knows his jumping on her will not be tolerated by the leader of the pack, you. My little girl runs towards me when I yell no, she knows I will protect her when they get too carried away! You can't change nature, but you can make it a little more pleasant. Good luck, and keep us posted!

I'm glad to hear that it is normal, despite it not being very pleasant for my cat. So cute that your little girl runs to you because she knows you will protect her! Thank you so much for the reply, I feel better now. I noticed that clapping in my hands helps a lot when the kitten attacks my girl again. He seems to be startled by the sound and stops. The kitten will be neutered soon, hope that it will solve the problem, because I want my adopted girl to be in a stress free environment, she's been through enough at the shelter! I will look into the 'kickeroo' you speak about! Thanks again for the advice and support! I will keep you guys posted!

 

[Britney91]

Hi and welcome to TCS

This definitely sounds like it's crossing the line from play to dominance/aggression. A significant part of this could well be hormonal, so get the kitten neutered as soon as possible. At 6 months old, he's plenty big enough. It may be a while before you see the full effects of the surgery, though, as it takes around six weeks (if memory serves) for the hormones to fully settle.

In the meantime, give him as much interactive playtime as you can - ideally draining his energy totally a couple of times a day. This should at least help matters, as he'll have less energy to put into dominating your girl. From her perspective, interactive play sessions will help boost her confidence, making her feel more able to stand her ground when the kitten goes too far.
Beating Boredom - What Indoor Cat Owners Need To Know
How To Stop Playtime Aggression In Cats
How To Safely Break Up A Cat Fight
(Hopefully you won't need the techniques in the last article, but it's always useful information to have ).

Feliway can help calm matters in these kinds of situations, so that's worth a try. Opening up more vertical space could help too, especially if you do it in such a way as to remove dead ends. If your girl can't get cornered, she'll likely feel safer and more confident in moving around. If she's really struggling, you could consider a calming supplement, or even anti anxiety medication. Your vet can advise you on the most appropriate approach.
ttps://thecatsite.com/ams/six-surefire-strategies-to-reduce-stress-in-cats.30316/
10 Must-know Tips For Happy Living With A Shy Cat
16 Top Cat Experts Share Tips For Dealing With Timid Cats

You say your girl has urinary issues. I'm adding our articles on the subject, just in case they're of any help:-
Feline Idiopathic Cystitis - How To Improve Your Cat's Quality Of Life
Feline Lower Urinary Tract Disease (flutd)

Thank you!!!

We did indeed decide to get the kitten neutered soon, hope that it will fix the problem and bring a more stress free environment for my girl! Thank you so much for all the advice, support and the links. I'm learning a lot I didn't know yet! Especially the links for the urinary issues. I can see when she doesn't feel well because of it and I wish I could do more.

When we first got the kitten we used Feliway Friends, I am not sure if it worked but the kitten was too small to attack my girl so maybe I couldn't notice if it worked. Perhaps we need to buy it again and try it out again, maybe it will reduce some of the aggression... Again, thank you so much for everything including the warm welcome to forum!

 

[Columbine]

In terms of toys, these are some links to my cats favourite kicking toys. They're from the Dutch Zooplus site (I'm in the UK), so you should have no trouble getting hold of them
Kong Kickeroo | zooplus.nl
Kattenspeelgoed en accessoires goedkoop bij zooplus: Aumüller Kattenspeelgoed Fretje
Kattenspeelgoed Jumbo Krabmuis | zooplus.nl
(This last one is HUGE - I cut the elastic loop off, and my boys love 'killing' it...even though it's almost as big as they are!)

The other favourite kicking toys in this house are the larger Yeowww catnip toys, but they're usually harder to find outside the US, and more expensive.

 

[Britney91]

In terms of toys, these are some links to my cats favourite kicking toys. They're from the Dutch Zooplus site (I'm in the UK), so you should have no trouble getting hold of them
Kong Kickeroo | zooplus.nl
Kattenspeelgoed en accessoires goedkoop bij zooplus: Aumüller Kattenspeelgoed Fretje
Kattenspeelgoed Jumbo Krabmuis | zooplus.nl
(This last one is HUGE - I cut the elastic loop off, and my boys love 'killing' it...even though it's almost as big as they are!)

The other favourite kicking toys in this house are the larger Yeowww catnip toys, but they're usually harder to find outside the US, and more expensive.

Ooo I love that site! Havent visited it in a while! They deliver very quick and the prices are fine! Thanks so much for the ideas!!!