Personalty change / reset button in 3-cat intro?

[tracyq]

Hi everyone!

I'm hoping to get some advice. I read the article about cat introductions and wanted to follow up here for help. 

I have a semi-feral (spayed from a previous resident doing a TNR) that adopted me a little over 9 years ago. She is 12 now. I fed, sheltered, played, petted her, etc. for 9 years. She had 2 houses on my back porch, slept in them, and our bond became very strong. She refused to live in the apartment. I had to move, so I trapped her and brought her with me. She is extremely affectionate with me, we are very close. 

I had 2 cats already that knew her through the back door and there were no fights. Travis, about 3.5, and Gabby, who is about 8. At the old place, Gabby was trying to be dominant towards Travis and instigated fights sometimes. Travis mostly took the abuse until he couldn't stand it anymore, and would corner her and do the intimidation stare, causing Gabby to scream and freak out.

Fast forward to my new apartment. Travis did a 180 and is now a bully, Gabby is just mellow for the most part. Personality swap!

Factor in Mute, my semi-feral. She is very docile with me, and with Travis and Gabby. I put Mute in the dining room as her base camp, with litter box, food, water, toys, blanket and a French door with windows (closed) so everyone can see and smell each other. Mute likes to hang out behind some Ikea cabinets I have out. I did a fast intro as everyone was getting along fine and there were no issues, but about two weeks later, Travis decided to pounce all over Mute and attack her, which in turn caused Gabby to attack him. This happened constantly.

I sent Travis and Gabby to my mom's house for a week to let Mute explore all she wanted. she only spent time in the dining room and the living room, cuddling with me. The idea was to make sure she knows our bond is still very strong, and let her have time to digest that she is in new surroundings inside and is well loved. Shockingly, her transition to living inside was no problem! She used the litter box immediately, I was so proud and happy that it wasn't an issue for her.

After a week, Gabby & Travis came back home. I separated them all again, with Mute in the dining room again. Travis is a big boy and knows there is food in the DR and muscled his way in and went after Mute. 

I plan to get an eye lock for the DR door so he can't do that anymore, but they can touch noses and experience each other's scents. 

Right now, Mute only peeks out of the window once or twice a day and stays behind the Ikea cabinets on the window sill and only comes out to eat and use the litter box and it breaks my heart! Because of Travis, she is too scared to even come out to play with me when I sit in the DR with the door closed. 

Do I just need to keep this up and give it time? Am I doing this right? Poor Mute just wants to be friends with my other 2, she's a very well mannered cat, and when she's just with me I know she is content and happy. Purrs, rolls around, gets tons of petting and massages, plays and gets treats. 

I also got some Jackson Galaxy Spirit Essences and Travis seems to be immune to this as well as Feliway! I got this pack, but ordered Safe Space to add in to it, which I will when it arrives.

http://www.spiritessences.com/product-p/ultimate-peacemaker.htm

Any advice, suggestions, thoughts? I would really appreciate any help or a sanity check on this! Thanks so much,

Tracy

 

[tracyq]

Also, do I just start the intro process from scratch? Is it like a reboot for them? Gabby likes to look in the windows to see what's going on, but when Travis does it, it's to menace Mute! 

I really don't understand why Travis went from getting along with everyone, to becoming a bully. 

 

[ldg]

Aww....

It could well be that Mute is so submissive, it just brings it out in him. We have 8 indoor-only kitties, and they're all feral rescues, introduced at various points in time.

I'd look at this as a reboot, but at some point they are going to have to work this out, and you need to be prepared. I know our natural feelings are to protect the newbie. We feel sorry for the hard life the most recent feral has had, and it does the heart good to see them happy, content, warm, safe... enjoying indoor life!

But when it comes to social hierarchies, cats have their own thing going on, and it really works best if we don't try to change it. In fact, it simply doesn't work if we do. :lol3:

So in this "reboot," DO spend alone time with Mute. But spend MORE time with Travis, and just make sure to give Gabby attention too so no issues crop up. Obviously Travis is trying to establish his dominance, and he picks up on your protective feelings. But what you need to do is rather than discourage his dominance, encourage it, so he doesn't feel the need to actually beat up on Mute in the way he has been.

Now - the main "tricks" to intros are... help the cats associate each other with good things they love. So I'm not clear on the set up you're going to have - they'll be able to see, hear, and smell each other? Or it'll be the glass doors, so they can only see (and maybe hear) each other?

The main tricks in the arsenal are scent, food (including meals and treats), play and height. Height displays dominance.

Scent. Scent swapping. Rub Mute all over with a clean cloth (best if washed and dried without scented soap or fabric softener). Do the same with Travis. In fact, a couple of "scented" cloths for each is a good idea.

Put the Mute scented cloth under Travis' food dish. (It's OK if Gabby and Travis use the same dish if you free feed kibble - which I don't recommend (either free feeding or kibble) but that's a different topic. ). Put a Travis scented rag under Mute's food dish.

Do they like being brushed? Use the same brush to brush Mute and Travis - let them smell it before you start brushing.

Have dedicated interactive play time with at least Travis - and with Mute, if she likes to play or isn't scared of moving toys. At the end of the 5 or 10 minutes, put treats down on the cloth that smells like the other cat. (Obviously you can include Gabby in play and treats too. ).

When Travis displays aggression at Mute's door, don't scold him or discourage him. Tell him he's your Number One kitty, and distract him with something - pets, whatever attention, play.... let him know you recognize he's Top Cat.

Are they free fed? Or do you have meals?

If you have meals, is there a way to feed them where they can see each other? Can you put a table (even like a folding table or something) up outside the dining room door - and feed Travis up on the table, while Gabby and Mute (even though Mute is on the other side of the doors) eat on the floor?

If you don't feed meals, will she come out for treats, so you can do this with treats?

When he becomes less aggressive at her door, let him in. But the goal is not the cats meeting or being together. No, in fact, don't focus on that at all. It's just about them sharing the space, and about Travis getting used to Mute's scent being in his space - and in this instance, Travis' scent being in Mute's space. So when you let him in, it'll be just for the play time. Let Mute watch if she wants to, let her hide if she wants to. No matter how hard it is, ignore her. Focus on Travis. Let him be "King" in "her" castle. Play with him, tell him WHAT a good boy he is (if he focuses on the play), and at the end of it, put treats out for him on the rag that smells like her. Then take him out - and again, tell him WHAT a good boy he is.

I don't know if this ever helped or not, but I always talked to the cats. I told them they don't have to like XYZ (the new cat), they just have to learn how to share the space. XYZ was homeless, just like ABC was, so get over it, and move along....

I have a couple of very passive cats, a pariah kitty, and one kitty that was very passive at first, but asserts himself now (started two about 2 years later). We don't know if Mute is submissive or a pariah - but there is just something about a pariah kitty that brings out the "bossy" in a top kitty. :dk: Another TCS member with a lot of feral rescues witnessed this first hand - when her pariah kitty became a senior and developed dementia, she stopped being a pariah kitty. So it was literally something she did, something she put out there that made the others pick on her. There's just nothing you can do about it other than make sure no one is so aggressive that they actually hurt a kitty like this. Having a lot of vertical space can help with this - and with three kitties, having like five litter boxes (and not all in one place!) helps too, so the one kitty can't watch ALL the boxes.

So.... get Travis and Mute associating each other with good things. Reinforce for Travis that he's top kitty. Do your best to ignore Mute when they're in the same space, and lavish him with attention. If you can feed treats or meals where he's up above the others and he knows they know it, it may help too.

...and feel free to ask questions. :rub:

P.S. edited to add: it won't be like this forever! You will be able to love on Mute when Travis is around. But for their long term happiness, you need to spend as much time lavishing attention on Travis in Mute's presence for as much time as it takes for him to calm down about her being around. Cats are all about territory, and she's in his. :heart2: