Patience is wavering - introducing new adult cat

[aqualoon]

I was reading and found that I should have gotten a kitten instead of an adult cat because a kitten is less threatening and the other adult cats have a lot easier time accepting them.  I just wanted to get an adult cat because I know they are more difficult to find homes for (or at least they are in the dog world, I would imagine cats are the same thing?).

So here's my question - would I be adding to the fire or would this diffuse some aggression off of Bailey if I went and got a kitten?  (Or would I become the crazy cat person with 4 cats?!?)

 

[p3 and the king]

This is just my opinion, but adding a kitten or another cat at this time would greatly add to the stress and problems.  You need to get the current 3 settled and calm before you even think of adding a 4th.  Though it is thought to be true that a kitten is viewed as less threatening by older cats, the reverse is also true and often times, older cats can view the kittens energy as exhausting and irritating.  So they would probably be annoyed with a little bundle of energy suddenly there before they have had a chance to get used to Bailey and Bailey used to them. 

If you want a kitten, I would recommend getting 2 because they could play with eachother and not annoy older cats as much.  However, please wait and let this current situation level out first before even considering another one.  I know it seems frustrating but it will work itself out eventually.  Just be patient and try to keep calm yourself.  Try not to rush it is my best advice still. 

 

[aqualoon]

It's not so much that I want a kitten as I wish for things to get back to normal in the household, it's only been like 4 months now.

I did notice something this morning though - Bailey isn't backing down to Avery, so when Avery comes along Bailey makes a bunch of noise (growls/hissing/etc.) and Avery doesn't go after him, just kind of sits down and they stare at each other while their tails wag about.  Before Bailey would run when he saw Avery thus making Avery chase and actually go after him.  I'm not entirely sure if this is progress but I'm just happy that they can be rather close to each other without Avery going after/attacking Bailey because Bailey is now standing up to him and holding his ground.

 

[otto]

It is progress. Baby steps, always baby steps.

 

[p3 and the king]

I know you're frustrated.  But the best thing you can do is remain calm and not interfere too much, unless it gets to the point that you must because they are killing eachother!  This is a rare occurance, though, I assure you.   Most cats squabbles may sound severe but they rarely inflict any real damage on eachother.  Cats have to work things out for themselves.  There's a hierarchy to establish.  Each cat is different and each timetable is different.  The best thing you can do is remain calm and neutral.  It's good that Bailey is standing his ground, it means he feels more confident in his position and more at home... A new kitten would only throw off the balance and progress they have made and make it start all over again.  I know it doesn't seem like they've made progress to you but they have. 

 

[aqualoon]

That's exactly what I'm learning.  Is that when I hear all those yowls and cries and stuff, it's just Bailey standing his ground and there is actually no contact between him and Avery.  I think Avery is just seeing how far he can push Bailey and get away with it.

 

[ak12taco]

IMG951112(1).jpg

• ak12taco
• Oct 18, 2012

Am happy to report we all sleep cozily together and live in harmony....AK is the large one at my legs and Soxy is covering his face with his white paw on my daughters pillow...wishing you much peace and harmony...

 

 

[bobcatadh]

I don't know if anyone has asked this before, but are all of your cats neutered? That can also make a difference. Male cats especially do not like other male cats in their territory if they are not all neutered. Just a thought. And in my experience, it does usually take a while for cats to warm up to each other. Male cats especially are territorial. I'm not sure about the always spreading the other cats scent, especailly if it is a male cat. Male cats mark their territory by spreading their scent. You might be accidently making your other cat think that Bailey is trying to take over. I think, and it's just my opinion that each cat needs his own special spot. There scents can mix other places, but they each need their specail bed without the other cats scent on it. Just my opinion and I could be totally wrong. I do hope it all gets better for you.

Bobcatadh

http://www.cafepress.com/bobcatscatphotoshop

 

[aqualoon]

ak12taco - I am so freakin jealous!

bobcatadh - Yup they are all fixed.

So all three are still out and about in the house and I feel a lot better knowing that when I hear Bailey yowl it's just him telling Avery to back down and no physical contact is ever made.  Avery doesn't make a sound, what he likes to do is go up to Bailey's area and just sit/lay down...then he'll get a little closer until Bailey yowls at him and then he backs up a bit and just lays down staring at him.

Also the howling/yowling/etc. isn't as bad as it was before - frequency I mean which is good because my lab gets really scared of it and tries to climb up into my lap whenever it happens. 

 

[ak12taco]

I too found the noise is much worse than the event itself....kinda like the proverbial bark is worse than the bite...good vibes headed your way!
 

 

[aqualoon]

A not so update update...still the same.  Grandparents coming in to town this weekend and bringing back my trap so that's good.

Avery still keeps Bailey holed up on the 3rd floor - any tips on how to break this territorial behavior in Avery?

 

[aqualoon]

The grandparents forgot to bring the trap and are now in Florida until Spring.

Bailey is still being holed up on the 3rd floor by Avery but I feel that's better then putting him back down in his designed room as the 3rd floor has way more room and tons of windows.

Cooper is now howling to go outside and it's too cold to leave my door open to the deck so he's not happy.  It needs to get cold enough so that I can let him out and then he'll want to come back in after 5 minutes.

Bailey has gotten use to my dog and doesn't hiss when she accompanies me to the third floor - so that's good.

Avery is a complete jacka-- and will go up to the 3rd floor and rile Bailey up.  I've noticed scratches on both Bailey and Avery - nothing deep and nothing that has drawn blood.  I just wish Avery would ease up - would taking Avery out of the house for a few days help?  I have a heated garage I could put him in and get him away/out of the house that way Bailey will start moving around more if it will help.

 

[aqualoon]

Avery is now going after Cooper at times.  I noticed this last night as I was lounging on the couch, Cooper was asleep in a cat bed and along comes Avery, gets on his back and bites him (couldn't have been hard as there weren't any marks left on Cooper) and then those two get all noisy for a few seconds then things calm back down again.  The whole ordeal lasted all of 20 seconds.

Avery and Cooper have been together since kitten age and Avery still wont' let Bailey come down stairs.  Avery is now sleeping at the bottom of the stairs at night (instead of in the bed) to make sure Bailey stays up there.

 

[gibbly]

You have to remember that male cats, even nuetered ones are HIGHLY territorial, they aren't dogs and you can't expect them to get along almost instantly or even after a few months, some cats NEVER get along, I know a person who has two cats, one lives upstairs, one lives downstairs, both are nuetered males and both vigorously defend their space, the cat upstairs can't come downstairs, the one downstairs can't go upstairs otherwise they go at each other and it has been that way for THIRTEEN years (one cat is 17 years old, the other is 15) they refused to get along from day one.

that old saying "two's company, threes a crowd" may very well apply to your original two cats.

 

[aqualoon]

Yeah, I agree completely with that statement.  I may have to make a room on the 3rd floor a reading room or something as I don't spend much time up there except to play/pet Bailey.  Mostly on the 2nd and 3rd floor.

 

[aqualoon]

Update:

I have been keeping Avery and Cooper on the bottom floor that consists of the family room, laundry room, utility room and a bathroom while letting Bailey have the rest of the house to wander.

I've been slowly introducing Cooper to Bailey.  Things were going somewhat well, they could stand to be in the same room together but that's because Cooper's personality is so laid back, he doesn't chase.

The other night I was doing some laundry and both Cooper and Avery slipped out of the room as my hands were full with the laundry basket.  Avery ran STRAIGHT for Bailey and all heck broke lose.  I was able to separate them but there was some scratches (nothing deep just small little cuts).

Bailey is now peeing on the rug outside the room where Avery and Cooper are - he is scheduled to go into the vet to make sure there isn't anything else going on with him but I'm guessing it's a territory thing.

I have NEVER done this before and I don't even know how to go about it but, when does giving away a cat start to become an option?  My house is starting to smell like cat pee again and I don't think it's all that fair to either cat to be confined.

 

[jlols]

I know this thread is old, and I was glad to hear things are improving.  I wanted to post about a method that is great for adding new cats to a household.  I have eight (yes eight!) adult cats who have all been "added" to the mix over the past ten years.  The most recent addition was a very frightened, abandoned, male neutered cat who was dumped near our property and lived outside and in our garage for about 10 months.  He ended up inside once the temps dropped into sub-zero.

In the future, when adding new cats you may want to try not mixing territories. I use a crate method (an extra bathroom or laundry room also works well, or you can even put the crate in one of those rooms for added peace).  Here is how it works:

You basically create a totally separate territory for the new cat, as boundaries are SO important to cats.  If I am home during the day I notice that all of our cats have their "special" places to sleep, and wander, and look out the window, and as long as this is strictly maintained all is well. I think it is back-firing when you try and "mix" territories with your cats.  If your "first" cats always slept on your bed, and their favorite territory was your bedroom, then they will become very destructive with a newcomer.  I have an extra-large, mastiff-size dog crate, and put a small kitty condo in it, with food, water and litter, and drape a large blanket over the back.  This will be your "new" cat's territory, and you can safely keep him there; first all the time, then only at night or when you're not home. He can safely retreat to it whenever needed. Also when he is in the crate all the cats can safely exchange smells and growls and everything else with no one getting hurt.  Put the crate in the room that was least favorite to your older cats.  This area will become the new cat's territory.  For anyone thinking of adding a new adult cat successfully, this crate method has worked wonderfully, and is also useful when moving older cats to a new home. (Of course moving with multiple cats is a whole new subject!).  Hope things continue to go well, hi to your cats!

 

[betsygee]

The fights our newbies and oldies have gotten into have been the real deal, unfortunately.  I posted a couple of months ago that we "inherited" four adult cats (youngest one is 10 years old) from a friend who died suddenly.  We've been trying to integrate them ever since, with limited success.  It took the poor new guys a month to get used to being in a new home and without their "mom"--our friend had them all, now ages 10 to 17, from kittens.  Fortunately they're all very bonded with each other and get along great.

Our cats are three very spoiled three year olds who weren't thrilled about sharing their home and humans with other cats.  We've made some progress but the two sets still live 95% separated, except for some brief attempts at letting the newbies out in the primaries' presence.  We've narrowed down the problem to the dominant male in the newbies' group and the dominant male in ours.  They've gotten into a couple of horrendous fights.  I THINK at this point we could let the other three newbies and our other two out together, but now they're all spooked from the last hairy fight that happened just yesterday.  So we've had to take a step back--at the moment, hubby and I are in the TV room with the newbies so they can explore a new room and hang out with us for awhile, while ours are in the rest of the house (probably right outside the door wondering what's going on in here!)  

Anyway....it's going along as well as can be expected, I think.  It's just taking more time than we had hoped.  So I logged on today mainly to get some encouragement from reading other peoples' experiences. It's good to be reminded that integration takes patience and TIME.  We'll keep on keeping on....  

  

By the way, we have been using the Feliway plug-ins for both sets of cats since the new guys arrived.  After reading some of these posts, I may try the collars now on the two aggressive boys.  

 

[betsygee]

We're starting to have some success with integration finally.  One male can't join the fun, he's still having "anger management" issues. So he stays shut in our bedroom but the other six--our three resident cats and three of the four newbies--are spending a few minutes each evening in each other's company.  Tonight it was about 10 minutes of mutual sniffing and/or ignoring before one of them got huffy and we decided to call it a night.  We have a "playpen" for the 7th cat and my plan is to put him in it in the same room as the other cats.  That way they can all sniff away but nobody will get hurt.

Baby steps, for sure, but we're getting there!  

 

[maureen brad]

You don't have to get a kitten. quite often a kitten drives adult cats crazy. I had 2 cats who grew up together. They were so bonded that when Ziggy died in March I thought Leo was going to die of a broken heart. He yowled and searched for almost 2 months.When I started looking for another cat I took Leo's personality into account. I went to a rescue group and told them I wanted a "Cats cat"

a cat that took things in stride and loved other cats. I adopted Remy , age 6. Kept them separated for a few days. When I opened the door a crack to feed them on opposite sides they touched noses and kissed. They are wonderful together, never even a hiss between them. I realize that I am lucky but I am also proof that you don't have to get a kitten.2 weeks ago I adopted a 10 month old cat. I don't know how that will go as he is sick and has to be isolated. I kind of worry that he is to young.