Passive aggressive behaviour- Separation Anxiety

[miloandotis]

I work in a job that requires me to often go away for 3 days a week - often twice a month.
When I come home my half-ragdoll boys have predictable behaviour. Otis won't leave me alone and wants heaps of cuddles- I love this. Milo on the other hand will snob me off completely. He'll follow me into every room in the house just to sit in a corner and ignore me. He won't want pats, his ears are constantly back and he'll keep this up until I have a solid few days off work to give him cuddles. (This behaviour has gone in for 6 weeks before!)
Now I live by myself- when I'm away my neighbours will come over for half an hour a day to feed and play, often for longer.
I hate that it effects Milo so much- and that it takes so much work to get his affectionate self back. Is there anything I can do to help?

 

[feralvr]

AWWW - what beautiful kitties and such darling names. Yeah - tough one and kitties all deal with issues in their life so differently. Milo sounds almost like he may be a little "shy" when you get home? I am sure it is a bit of separation anxiety as well on top of that. If I were in your shoes, I would find some REALLY, REALLY special treats that Milo loves and offer them like crazy when you get home. You may have to gently and lovingly "force" yourself on him upon your return. Just to let him know HOW much you love him right when you arrive home and HOW much you missed him. Give him TONS of attention and that may mean going to him and picking him up, snuggling, petting, brushing, anything he loves - do that right away when you get home. Try to give him the love before Otis takes over too. If nothing else, he has a good life with you, lots of love and a great brother to keep him company. Try not to worry too much about this behavior. Sometimes, I have found that I just have to accept each little one for who they are and just let them figure things out on their own. I think sometimes we worry more than our kitties!!!!!!

 

[miloandotis]

Thanks Feralva,

I guess I'd never considered him to be "Shy" because if he ever gets outside he's off meeting all my neighbours, sneaking into peoples houses, wandering up to cars that stop at the milkbar and enjoying large crowds (He's snuck into the kindergarden near me and joined a linedancing class with all the oldies at night!)

I guess the relationship he can have with strangers, on his own curious terms, is different to how he will feel about the one that lives with him and feeds him.

He often avoids eye contact too which I've read can be a sign of respect. I just want my cuddly affectionate Milo to feel comfy in his own home at all times!

 

[shadowsrescue]

The treat idea is a great one.  When you get home give him something very yummy and special.  You can try cooked plain chicken, some tuna or other fish or  Gerber stage 2 chicken/turkey baby food.  Only give this to him when you come home so the treat remains special. 

Have you thought of trying flower essences?  You could try Rescue Remedy or take a look at Jackson Galaxy's Spirit Essences.  I believe he has one for Separation Anxiety.  It takes a week or so to start working so you would want to begin using it before your next trip and have your neighbor give it to him while you are gone.  You can just mix a few drops into the wet food as well as spritzing it around the room.  Just do a search on Spirit Essences.