Opinions Needed!!!!!!!

[norachelhere]

As DH said about my little sisters boyfriend, he would cut his "little peepee off" if he ever did anything like that to her. . .

If I were you I would march straight over to his house and threaten not only his "little peepee" but his parents LIFE if he EVER did it again . . . That is so wrong, and do educate her. I think the current statistic is 1 in 8 highschool age students have an STD. . . that is scary, and disgusting.

I hope everything works out for the best, and she learns from the experience. . . .let us know how it works out!

p.s. sounds like your sister needs some advice in what is appropriate and what is not as well but that is just IMO

 

[calico2222]

There are so many things about this that bother me, I'm not sure where to start. Ok, first of all, you're sister had her 14 year old daughter boyfriend over (along with 2 other friends) and left them unsupervised 2 floors up? I understand they don't want their mother hanging around, but at least keep them on the same floor so she can at least check in on them, or listen to see what is going on. And then, she gives them wine, and sends them up to watch a movie??? No offense to your sister, but what was she thinking???

Yes, I was allowed a glass of wine or champange when I was that age for special occassions, but that was with family and I DEFINITELY wasn't allowed to disappear with my boyfriend afterwards.

Its great that she has you to talk to, but I would definitely tell her mother. I would sit your niece down first and explain why. Explain that you are not betraying her, but that her mother needs to know that she is growing up. Sometimes I think parents don't have the right perspective about their kids. You sister may still be seeing the little girl that played with barbie dolls, and not the young woman she has become, and didn't even think of the possibility of what could happen.

Basically, I think your niece needs more supervision. I'm not saying that she is bad, but you said yourself that she is naive. That is where parents come in to structure what is allowed in their house.

I'm not even going to go into what I think should be done to the boy.

 

[EnzoLeya]

Oh my goodness no kidding "thank goodness she came to you"!!!! What if she didn't and he took this so far as to rape her!!!! Something must be done about this!

 

[krazy kat2]

Please do not tell your sister. Please give her the chance to do it herself. You are her haven right now, and it would be a much bigger betrayal to tell. Eventually your sister will be glad some one had her child's interest at heart. This may be an embarrassing thing to get round at school. I hope it will not, but it is a possiblilty. Someone must show her how to hold her up, throw her shoulders back and act like it never happened. It sounds like she is asking for it to be you. You could be this little girl's salvation. I sure wish I had had one.

 

[kluchetta]

I have a question...did she come to you before this happened and then it happened...or afterwards? Sorry, I'm a bit dense.

Also, I'm not sure about clinics in Canada, but ones in the US would possibly be more likely to push condoms than helping a girl stand up to peer pressure.

I'm glad she came to you - she's definitely not happy she did it, and, while I'm not sure exactly what to advise (cripes, I've got a 9th grader

) I think that she's looking for help from you on how to NOT do it again.

 

[iluvdevons]

Originally Posted by Sadie'sMom

... and she comes right out and told me that her little Bf pressured her to do this (she said she felt a bit tipsy from the wine), not only that but in front of her other friend in her room. Refused to allow her to well, dispose after..???

I agree with what SwampWitch said talking to her about venereal diseases and with everyone else who said she should be encouraged to tell her mother herself. (If you do the talking, that will effectively end your role as a confidant, which I think your niece really needs.)

What disturbs me about this is that the act ocurred in front of another person??!! This boy has issues, and it seems your niece is willing to give into him. I would make it clear to your niece that pushing her to do the act was not OK to begin with, but the fact that he wanted this in front of another person IS NOT NORMAL AT ALL. She must understand that although she thinks she cares for this person, he is not acting like he truly cares for or respects her at all. Wow - that guy is a CREEP!!!