All those silly websites that charge are kind of ridiculous. If you're looking for a good online site, I'd recommend okcupid.com. It's free, has a bajillion questions you can answer when you're bored to better match you with people, has a journal feature, and tons of interesting quizzes to take in between SO-hunting.
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Online dating.....true love fact or fiction?
- Thread starter cheylink
- Start Date
Been there, done that, not going there again!
I've tried:
Lavalife
Match.com
Plentyoffish.com
eHarmony
And a few others.
I could write a book based on my experiences, and someday I will!
On Lavalife I did manage to find out that one guy who contacted me was in fact the husband of one of my co-workers. I was so tempted to leave a screen capture of his ad on the table in the conference room at work, but I didn't. However, I did confront him at Lavalife about it. I guess he was so shocked that he was speechless. He didn't even deny it and quickly disconnected and then blocked me from seeing his ad. Not that I couldn't see it with another login ID! LOL
I've tried:
Lavalife
Match.com
Plentyoffish.com
eHarmony
And a few others.
I could write a book based on my experiences, and someday I will!
On Lavalife I did manage to find out that one guy who contacted me was in fact the husband of one of my co-workers. I was so tempted to leave a screen capture of his ad on the table in the conference room at work, but I didn't. However, I did confront him at Lavalife about it. I guess he was so shocked that he was speechless. He didn't even deny it and quickly disconnected and then blocked me from seeing his ad. Not that I couldn't see it with another login ID! LOL
Gee, I was pretty much pre-internet dating. I did it the old-fashioned way. I picked up DH at the baggage claim check at Detroit Metro Airport. He was a computer design engineer at Ford and I was getting an MBA at U of M. I guess you could say that I had his claim check.
Anyway, DH said that he could drive me to Ann Arbor. I might not have trusted him but we both went to Cornell as did his sister and I knew her, vaguely. Figured he'd be in deep doo-doo if he did anything. Like I said, I vaguely knew his sister.
We went to lunch and we found that we had so much in common. Except for the fact that he is Jewish and I was Catholic (Jewish now) and that his family had a great deal more education and money than my family.
Been married 26 years.
Anyway, DH said that he could drive me to Ann Arbor. I might not have trusted him but we both went to Cornell as did his sister and I knew her, vaguely. Figured he'd be in deep doo-doo if he did anything. Like I said, I vaguely knew his sister.
We went to lunch and we found that we had so much in common. Except for the fact that he is Jewish and I was Catholic (Jewish now) and that his family had a great deal more education and money than my family.
Been married 26 years.
I met my ex-boyfriend online too but it didn't work out. We met on a Yahoo 60's music group and we got in an argument about a band. Eventually, he apologized in a private email and we started writing. It turned out that we knew a lot of people in common and shared many interests. Within a matter of months, I flew to Connecticut to meet him. We got along so well and dated for about four years.
Unfortunately, we broke up in August 2007 because our relationship fizzled out. Plus, the long-distance issue was a problem that we could not solve. Mike always promised that he would relocate to California because he loved it here and had many friends in the area. Yet, he failed to do anything about it. I like the East Coast but didn't want to move either. Thus, we spit up.
I'm not sure if I would do the online dating thing again. I don't think I could ever deal with another long-distance relationship. Another issue that bothered me is that Mike sent me old pictures of himself and he didn't quite look the same when I met him in person. I always felt betrayed by that.
The same thing happened to my close friend. She met a guy on MySpace that lived in her area; however, he looked much older than his Photoshopped pictures suggested. Plus, he was mentally ill and suffered from severe depression. I guess if you meet someone in a bar, they still could be crazy and you wouldn't realize until the first break occurs.
On the bright side, I have a lot of friends who met their partners on MySpace and are very happy. If it happens, I won't disregard it. I have signed up for various dating sites in the past but always canceled my account within a week because of the type of guys that contacted me.
Unfortunately, we broke up in August 2007 because our relationship fizzled out. Plus, the long-distance issue was a problem that we could not solve. Mike always promised that he would relocate to California because he loved it here and had many friends in the area. Yet, he failed to do anything about it. I like the East Coast but didn't want to move either. Thus, we spit up.
I'm not sure if I would do the online dating thing again. I don't think I could ever deal with another long-distance relationship. Another issue that bothered me is that Mike sent me old pictures of himself and he didn't quite look the same when I met him in person. I always felt betrayed by that.
The same thing happened to my close friend. She met a guy on MySpace that lived in her area; however, he looked much older than his Photoshopped pictures suggested. Plus, he was mentally ill and suffered from severe depression. I guess if you meet someone in a bar, they still could be crazy and you wouldn't realize until the first break occurs.
On the bright side, I have a lot of friends who met their partners on MySpace and are very happy. If it happens, I won't disregard it. I have signed up for various dating sites in the past but always canceled my account within a week because of the type of guys that contacted me.
Like zoeysmom, I also have a cute story about being a shy person. My current spouse, who, as I said above, I met on an online dating site, suggested that we meet at a coffee shop in the evening. I came home from work, had dinner with my dad and didn't bother to check my email before I left, so I knew when I was supposed to meet this person, but all we each had to go by were the pictures on our online profiles.
I was a bit nervous sitting there in the coffee shop, looking at people coming in, trying to figure out who was supposed to meet me. There was this really cute nerdy looking guy sitting just at the next table over, and I sort-a caught his eye a few times, but was too shy to say anything. About 45 minutes later, I wasn't in such a good mood anymore. I'd been stood up! I stalked out (after circulating around the coffee shop a few times and having a very nice guy ask me why I was in such a bad mood), went home, and read my email.
It turned out, the guy I was supposed to meet had been the cute guy I was too shy to talk to! He'd been grading papers for hours and didn't really notice when the time I was supposed to appear came up. He'd changed his hair and facial hair, gotten glasses, and gained weight since he'd taken the small and blurry picture he was using online. He also expected me to recognize him from the facial tattoo he'd mentioned in the email I didn't read. I looked a bit goth in my picture, and was dressed more "granola" when I went to the coffee shop.
Moral of the story; my spouse and I are so shy that we didn't even meet when we tried to! We certainly needed some kind of system to find each other, although dating ads certainly existed before online ads.
I've met manipulative lairs, people I fell in love with just because they were interested in me, nice people that really aren't my style, wonderful people I really wanted to be friends with and tried to be romantically interested in but simply didn't have any kind of spark with, and good but casual partners for flings, all online.
Avoiding dating online should be able to save you from starting a relationship as a long distance one, though. And I think that long distance relationships are much, much easier to do if you have memories of and the knowledge of each other from a person-to-person romance.
I was a bit nervous sitting there in the coffee shop, looking at people coming in, trying to figure out who was supposed to meet me. There was this really cute nerdy looking guy sitting just at the next table over, and I sort-a caught his eye a few times, but was too shy to say anything. About 45 minutes later, I wasn't in such a good mood anymore. I'd been stood up! I stalked out (after circulating around the coffee shop a few times and having a very nice guy ask me why I was in such a bad mood), went home, and read my email.
It turned out, the guy I was supposed to meet had been the cute guy I was too shy to talk to! He'd been grading papers for hours and didn't really notice when the time I was supposed to appear came up. He'd changed his hair and facial hair, gotten glasses, and gained weight since he'd taken the small and blurry picture he was using online. He also expected me to recognize him from the facial tattoo he'd mentioned in the email I didn't read. I looked a bit goth in my picture, and was dressed more "granola" when I went to the coffee shop.
Moral of the story; my spouse and I are so shy that we didn't even meet when we tried to! We certainly needed some kind of system to find each other, although dating ads certainly existed before online ads.
I've met manipulative lairs, people I fell in love with just because they were interested in me, nice people that really aren't my style, wonderful people I really wanted to be friends with and tried to be romantically interested in but simply didn't have any kind of spark with, and good but casual partners for flings, all online.
If you're the kind of person who'd rather be doing things in real life than online, you can certainly use the internet to find real life groups of people to do things with. I fully admit that dating online can be problematic because it's easy to find "geographically incompatible" people. However, you can also meet people in real life and then have reasons (like jobs or school) to be in different parts of the country. So avoiding online dating certainly doesn't save you from long term relationships.
Avoiding dating online should be able to save you from starting a relationship as a long distance one, though. And I think that long distance relationships are much, much easier to do if you have memories of and the knowledge of each other from a person-to-person romance.
I met my SO via My Space as well
I think honestly that it is up to the person how they choose to meet people. For me it was because I was new to the area didn't have many friends and didn't want to wander into some local bar and meet some sleaze. The internet was a quick and safer way to talk to other men in my area. Yes there are still safety issues involved and I ran far and fast from some dates but I kept faith that someone well adjusted
