One small problem

[cat owner again]

I have a mother cat (estimated 2-3 years old) and one of her male kittens (estimated 11 months old) that I rescued from living outdoors in my neighborhood.  I believe the mother was abandoned so she has lived in a house before.  The male kitten hasn't but was being fed by people.  They are indoor/outdoor cats but they do stay in at night now. I have overcome most of the obstacles so far but right now there is one problem I want to squash.  The male joins me on the couch and gets in my lap and snuggles next to me.  Sometimes I have to move him.  Well he bites me.  He also will bite if I pet him and I didn't realize he didn't want this.  The first pet.  He broke skin once.  I tried saying ow and moving him off the sofa, grabbing his scruff and putting him outside, twicking his nose slightly, and once giving him a good toss.  (sorry but that is when he really bit me and broke skin)    So now he knows he shouldn't bite and he goes to bite and then puts his head down or jumps off himself.  But he still wants to bite and will even get on his back and use paws to get ready for a fight. 

I want to be dominate without fear.  I have to protect my 15 year old 6 pound dog and the cat needs to know I make the rules.  What should I do? 

PS: they both can get skiddish real easy.  They run if other people come in the house.  Maybe it will all work out. 

 

[callista]

Well, first, don't worry about being dominant--cats don't have dominance, so much as they have diplomatic agreements. Most cats will be partly dominant in a household, will have certain things that they "own", like their own sunny spot or the right to use the litter box first when you've just cleaned it, or the right to sit in a certain chair, or climb into your lap in the evening. They kind of work things out among themselves, and with their humans. They don't see humans as dominant, because they are solitary hunters and don't have complex social structure. Friendship is probably the closest bond that ever exists among cats--they don't have packs, and mating doesn't involve any kind of social bond.

Regarding your diplomatic agreement with that 11-month-old catten of yours, I think you're actually doing pretty well. He knows you don't like his biting. You push him off your lap, ignore him, make it clear that you don't like being bitten. He's getting the point. He doesn't bite down.

When he gets on his back, paws up, it's probably because he wants to play in that rough-and-tumble way kittens have. They grab each other but without claws, bite but don't bite down, and generally get pretty hyper. Did he have any siblings? Perhaps he never got the chance to learn that it is not polite to use one's claws or bite down on one's playmate. He seems to be learning now, in any event. He may have had human contact in early kittenhood, since he snuggles with you, but he might not yet know the rules of living with humans--such as, "Humans don't have fur, and will be very annoyed with you if you bite down too hard, because your sharp teeth can hurt their skin."

Find toys that'll let him use that catten energy of his. Try a wand toy or, if he enjoys it, a laser pointer. He might enjoy a rat-sized catnip toy or stuffed toy that he can grab, kick, and roll around with. Since he's living with two much older cats who probably don't have near as much energy as he does, try to do some playing with him. Tire him out if you can; a tired cat is more likely to take a nap than attack your toes. Does his mother let him wrestle with her, or does she get annoyed with him?

 

[cat owner again]

I appreciate all your advice.  I have to say I think I have the play situation down.  I bought many toys, cat tree, scratching toy (couldn't believe that they would like it but it is their favorite to scratch and hide under), and my friend made a carpet scratching post.  I set up empty cardboard boxes in all shapes and hide things in them.  I pretty much went crazy the first time I saw them scratch my furniture and knew I would have to redirect them.  Craigslist helped a lot.  I live alone and my living room has become cat play ground. Every night the mama cat brings me the stuffed rat and howls as she carries it to me even at 2AM.  I even found a you tube bird video that he watches until he goes to jump at the computer! I really think the male doesn't want to be bothered when he comes on the sofa with me. That is when he wants to go to sleep. It is like hey, I am comfortable, why are you bugging me.   I am hoping he may have solved the problem.  The last two times, he has come over, purred, got his petting but he is big and can't fit on my lap if I am sitting at my computer so he has moved into the bedroom.  That is fine. When he chooses to lay on my legs outstretched on the sofa, I have to move him to get up or when he is snuggled next to me and I get up and return he has fallen into my spot.  Then I try to move him and whamo, he bites me. Yes not always hard but hard enough to where it is unacceptable to me.  I am hoping he will learn that biting means no sofa.

His two siblings died and I believe they were poisoned so that is why I took them in.  Mama has been batting him around every time he gets near because she has no desire to wrestle and he is young and strong and plays dirty.  Actually that is why I think he bonded with me because he didn't have her to snuggle to.  She hisses at him and runs out of the house. 

I do have a laser but was kind of afraid to use it.  I read they can get kind of hooked and anxious and it can hurt their eyes if it hits them there - by mistake. 

I will not give up.  I can't believe I will have these cats for years.  I sure didn't plan on it and I am still adapting.

 

[flintmccullough]

Are-they-spayed/neutered?If-not,thats-the-problem.

 

[cat owner again]

I brought the whole family in and had them neutered even before I adopted these two.