OK I'm Back to Making People Laugh

ccoccocats

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HOSPITAL JOKES

A Nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room, when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, "Keep off the grass."

Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said, "Sorry, had to mow the lawn."

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A new young MD doing his residency in OB was quite embarrassed performing female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment he had consciously formed a habit of whistling softly.

The middle-aged lady upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed him. He looked up from his work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?"

She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was 'I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener'."
 

zanniesmom

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A doctor died and went to hell. The devil appeared to him in a room with three doors. The devil told him he could pick his hell from door number one or number two. Then the devil left the room, so the doctor could chose. He opened door number one. There he saw a doctor feverishly dictating discharge summaries, with stacks of charts to be dictated on the floor and the desk. He didn't want to go there. So he looked into door number two. There he saw an MD answering questions for a lady with a long written list, and there was a line of people waiting with lists behind her. He didn't want to go there, either. So, since the devil hadn't come back yet, he snuck a peak behind door number three. There he saw a scantily clad nurse climbing all over a doctor. Just then the devil returned. "Well, is it door number one or door number two?" asked Satan. "I would like door number three" breathlessly stated the doctor. "Oh, no," replied St. Nick, "that's nurse's hell."
Becky
 

zanniesmom

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A man died and went to heaven (why do so many jokes start this way). St. Peter took him on a tour. They got his harp, his halo and staked out his cloud. Then St. Peter took him to the mess hall for lunch. Suddenly a man dressed in green scrubs pushed his way to the front of the line. "Who is that?" asked the man. "Oh," said St. Peter, "that's God, he just thinks he's a doctor."

Becky (can you tell I am a nurse?)
 
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