Not in, Not out

[crazycatowner]

Hello, everyone! I am the owner of a spayed cat of around 1 year who lately wants to go outside at any cost, and will yowl horribly because of it. This is happening every night, from sunset to sunrise, and she is so loud and persistent, I sometimes wish I was born deaf.

She hasn't always been this obsessed with going out, though she always manifested an interest in looking out the window and seeing what goes on the outside. About two weeks ago she managed to crawl through some pipes (PIPES!) in our apartment and she ended up on the rooftop of our block. That's 12+ levels, mind you. We know she ended up on the rooftop because she came back after 24h, when we had lost all hope, and meowed pitifully for us to come get her from there.

After this event, I bought a leash and started walking her outside 1 hour every evening. She is doing wonderfully on the leash, but the moment I bring her back in, she will start yowling again. She will go to bed, sleep until 3-4 in the morning, then wake-up and demand we let her outside again. Needless to say, our sleep is a complete mess.

Today I got so stressed with her insane behavior, I took her out without a leash, decided if she wants to make a run for it, I would finally let her go. She followed me around, more or less like a trained dog, and came back with me when I called for her, showing no signs that she want her complete freedom either, which was completely baffling. But the moment we were back up in our apartment, she began crying again, wanting to go back outside. It is my belief that she cares for us and loves us very much, but if it were after her, we should be spending our lives outdoors.

This is basically it. Any advice is most welcome. My interest in this matter is to make her happy, and give us all some peace.

Thank you.

 

[mani]

Hi.. Welcome to TCS!

I'm sorry you're having this dilemma with your cat.  I'm wondering if she has seen something that has really spiked her interest and now it's become an obsession.  Taking her on the leash was a good idea, but obviously it just isn't enough and doesn't remove the problem.  I'd work more on making the inside really desirable.

A few suggestions:

• Feliway diffusers often calm cats.  It would be worth a go.
• Make sure there's lots of stuff to play with, but favourite things aren't available all the time, so there's a novelty value.
• Put interesting smells around the house for your cat to search out.. spices work well.. just a hint on a chair leg etc.  Or get some cardboard boxes and configure them so they're really interesting to climb around it.  Add some scents to them.
• Make sure the lookout places are comfy and accessible

Good luck!  Let us know how you're going.

 

[yayi]

I think beside your daily evening walks, you could add more interactive toys at home and increase playtime. If she is kept occupied, she will not get bored and forget or at least reduce her desire to go out. 

 

[crazycatowner]

Thanks for the welcome and the replies! She does have a ton of toys, though I admit I haven't tried the boxes thing yet. Will do that, too.

I'm sorry you're having this dilemma with your cat.  I'm wondering if she has seen something that has really spiked her interest and now it's become an obsession.  

I think it's the birdies outside our window. She watches them for hours, cackling at them, crouching to go get 'em.

Maybe I should buy her a birdie for the inside to keep her interested. Though that would be pretty cruel of me, as I'm sure the poor thing would end up dead sooner or later.

 

[otto]

Play with her yourself, more. At her age she still needs at least 3 vigorous interactive play sessions with you, every day. Get her running leaping climbing and jumping. She needs more physical activity to stay mentally as well as physically healthy.

The more Games you play with her, the more she will be stimulated to play by herself.

 

[crazycatowner]

Play with her yourself, more.

I'm sorry, I know you mean well, and you are most likely very correct... but I can't do that. I leave home in the morning and come back in the evening. I walk with her outside 1 hour, wash her litterbox daily, wash her bowls and feed her three times per day, cuddle her extensively, tend to her fur, nails, ears and whatever else you can imagine for her well-being, even play with her a little... that's 2 hours everyday just taking care of this cat, and not counting the night hours during which she keeps me awake. She's a very active kitten, she is young and lean, and playing with her 3 sessions per day, seriously playing, not just waving the mouse 3 times, would probably mean another hour or more of me spending time solely focused on her. I don't know many people who would care for their pet 3-4 hours a day. If I were a vet, or a trainer, or if I were retired, then perhaps yes.

Again, I know you mean well, and I thank you for the advice, but if this is a matter of her wanting more attention, then perhaps I should find her another owner who can dedicate his/her days to this lovely cat, which is something I am clearly not equipped to do.

I apologize if I sound a little bitter, a cat crying in your ears constantly can do that to a person.

 

[stella123]

i have a male spayed cat,he's a yr old...i got him about two mths ago...

even after neutering he still wanted out...not in...

after weeks of sleepless nights,and destroying my home i decided...i had to give into his needs....no amount of toys would distract him long enough...he is a cat not a child after all...

i live in a quiet area...not much traffic..lots of other out door domestic cats...so i decided it was now time to let him out....which i was worried about..as i got him as a 10mth old cat and i was his 3dr home...if i'd had him from a kitten a few weeks old...i wouldn't have worried as much..

i have now had a cat flap fitted and i get alot more sleep...he comes and goes as he please's til around 10pm...then i lock the flap and keep him home all night...but he is now in a routine...he goes to bed before me now..lol

some cats will never be content as indoor only cats...some will...mine was never going to give up on some kind of independent  freedom....now he's a wonderful content happy cat...and he really doesn't go very far either...stays very close to my garden..

but if you live in an apartment high up..then your only option is to do what everyone else has said...and increase her outdoor time supervised by you....

but sometimes its not about the amount of time the cats stays outside....its the cats independence from you it needs...cats are not like dogs..they are not pack animals at all....they like thier freedom so much more and like to explore,stalk,hunt...alone!!

good luck with her...but you may find she is one of those cats who is a hunter by nature and needs her time outside to address her natural intincts....without you presant...i was never going to stop my cat getting outside....now he can go outside when he wants too...he's not as interested as he was to get out there....we all want what we can not have..then when we get it...its great but the novelty wares off quick...think thats the same with my cat...lol

 

[crazycatowner]

i have a male spayed cat,he's a yr old...i got him about two mths ago...

even after neutering he still wanted out...not in...

after weeks of sleepless nights,and destroying my home i decided...i had to give into his needs....no amount of toys would distract him long enough...he is a cat not a child after all...

i live in a quiet area...not much traffic..lots of other out door domestic cats...so i decided it was now time to let him out....which i was worried about..as i got him as a 10mth old cat and i was his 3dr home...if i'd had him from a kitten a few weeks old...i wouldn't have worried as much..

i have now had a cat flap fitted and i get alot more sleep...he comes and goes as he please's til around 10pm...then i lock the flap and keep him home all night...but he is now in a routine...he goes to bed before me now..lol

some cats will never be content as indoor only cats...some will...mine was never going to give up on some kind of independent  freedom....now he's a wonderful content happy cat...and he really doesn't go very far either...stays very close to my garden..

but if you live in an apartment high up..then your only option is to do what everyone else has said...and increase her outdoor time supervised by you....

but sometimes its not about the amount of time the cats stays outside....its the cats independence from you it needs...cats are not like dogs..they are not pack animals at all....they like their freedom so much more and like to explore,stalk,hunt...alone!!

good luck with her...but you may find she is one of those cats who is a hunter by nature and needs her time outside to address her natural intincts....without you presant...i was never going to stop my cat getting outside....now he can go outside when he wants too...he's not as interested as he was to get out there....we all want what we can not have..then when we get it...its great but the novelty wares off quick...think thats the same with my cat...lol

Oh my god, your post has hit HOME on so many levels! Especially the part about buying her toys. I would get a new one for her every week, but then she grew bored with it after 2 days and still cry to go outside.

 The way you describe your cat sounds exactly like mine. She IS a hunter by nature, she will chase and hunt everything and has never been content with just sleeping on a sofa. I wish we could move to a nice home with a garden just for her sake. 

Thank you. I have no idea what's going to happen next and how we'll solve his, but your post has given me much peace of mind.

 

[otto]

I'm sorry, I know you mean well, and you are most likely very correct... but I can't do that. I leave home in the morning and come back in the evening. I walk with her outside 1 hour, wash her litterbox daily, wash her bowls and feed her three times per day, cuddle her extensively, tend to her fur, nails, ears and whatever else you can imagine for her well-being, even play with her a little... that's 2 hours everyday just taking care of this cat, and not counting the night hours during which she keeps me awake. She's a very active kitten, she is young and lean, and playing with her 3 sessions per day, seriously playing, not just waving the mouse 3 times, would probably mean another hour or more of me spending time solely focused on her. I don't know many people who would care for their pet 3-4 hours a day. If I were a vet, or a trainer, or if I were retired, then perhaps yes.

Again, I know you mean well, and I thank you for the advice, but if this is a matter of her wanting more attention, then perhaps I should find her another owner who can dedicate his/her days to this lovely cat, which is something I am clearly not equipped to do.

I apologize if I sound a little bitter, a cat crying in your ears constantly can do that to a person. :lol3:

She's not going to be a kitten forever. If you want a well socialized happy adult cat, play with her while she's a kitten to help stimulate her brain, and to bond with her. Three 15 minute sessions a day would make a huge difference in her life. Cats, especially kittens, need attention and a way to burn off energy.

Play with her for 15 minutes before you leave the house. This will stimulate her to play on her own after you have left. So she will be more active, rather than sleeping all day. Play with her again when you first come home. This, again, will stimulate her to play by herself while you are busy. Play with her before you go to bed.

Many people in this forum spend 3-4 hours a day or more, taking care of our cats, including play times, meal times and litter box duty.

It is not necessary to wash her litter box daily, why are you doing that? Scoop out the poop and pee, you don't need to dump it and wash it. Takes less than 30 seconds to scoop a litter box.

Her nails don't need trimming every day. I'm not sure what you are doing with her ears every day?

You don't need to find her another home. She will only be a kitten for a little while. At the very least, the 15 minutes before you leave in the morning, and a half hour before you go to bed will make a huge difference, once she gets used to that routine.

Cats are creatures of habit. Once she knows she is going to get this attention from you every day, she will settle down. It won't happen overnight, but the relationship you form with her by putting in that much extra effort now will be well worth it in the end.

 

[otto]

PS In addition to what I said above, playing with a kitten is so much fun! You just don't know what you are missing! The more you play with her, the more her personality will be developed. There are so many different Games to play. And the more you play with her, the more creative she will be. She will tell you what she likes, you will bond in a way that isn't possible if you just open a door and let her go outside all the time.

You will laugh, and laugh, and you know laughter really is good medicine. I've just spent a half hour playing with my kitten Queen Eva. Actually, she isn't a kitten any more, she's almost 3. But she is endlessly inventive in the Games she wants to play with me. And she is so funny sometimes! You just can't imagine how much pleasure there is in playing with your cat.

if you need Game ideas to get you started I will be happy to provide some ideas. Really, it is totally worth the time invested, you won't be sorry.

 

[mani]

I think it's the birdies outside our window. She watches them for hours, cackling at them, crouching to go get 'em.

My cats do that... I think most do.  A lot of cats are quite happy just to watch, and I reckon your girl will too, as she gets older.  She's a kitten still, and it's sort of the teenager equivalent

I do understand time restrictions and that this is wearing you down.  Please do at least try some of the suggestions that don't require more time.  If they don't work, then there'll need to be a Plan B.  But one step at a time. ...

 

[crazycatowner]

I do understand time restrictions and that this is wearing you down.  Please do at least try some of the suggestions that don't require more time.  If they don't work, then there'll need to be a Plan B.  But one step at a time. ...

Yep, I'll do tat. We'll figure this out somehow.  

Thank you for your understanding, it means a lot to me. 

 

[ambermay]

Hello, everyone! I am the owner of a spayed cat of around 1 year who lately wants to go outside at any cost, and will yowl horribly because of it. This is happening every night, from sunset to sunrise, and she is so loud and persistent, I sometimes wish I was born deaf.

She hasn't always been this obsessed with going out, though she always manifested an interest in looking out the window and seeing what goes on the outside. About two weeks ago she managed to crawl through some pipes (PIPES!) in our apartment and she ended up on the rooftop of our block. That's 12+ levels, mind you. We know she ended up on the rooftop because she came back after 24h, when we had lost all hope, and meowed pitifully for us to come get her from there.

After this event, I bought a leash and started walking her outside 1 hour every evening. She is doing wonderfully on the leash, but the moment I bring her back in, she will start yowling again. She will go to bed, sleep until 3-4 in the morning, then wake-up and demand we let her outside again. Needless to say, our sleep is a complete mess.

Today I got so stressed with her insane behavior, I took her out without a leash, decided if she wants to make a run for it, I would finally let her go. She followed me around, more or less like a trained dog, and came back with me when I called for her, showing no signs that she want her complete freedom either, which was completely baffling. But the moment we were back up in our apartment, she began crying again, wanting to go back outside. It is my belief that she cares for us and loves us very much, but if it were after her, we should be spending our lives outdoors.

This is basically it. Any advice is most welcome. My interest in this matter is to make her happy, and give us all some peace.

Thank you.

Hi there,

I'm a 'mum' of 6 cats that are of feral origin.

There is NOTHING that would keep them inside only.

I know that it is much, much safer for cats to be inside only, but some cats will just NOT have it - I know that very well.

All of my babies are also spayed/neutered, and there is no way we could keep them inside.

My advice would be that if your kitty is so stressed without going out - let it out and make sure that there is a very easy way for her to get back in at any time she wants (a pet door so such?).

That is if your walking your kitty on a leash is not enough for it? (because if you are able to walk your baby on a leash as such - this should be wonderful and enough in some cases)...

I know many will disagree with what I'm saying, but with some cats there is just no other way - they can be so drastically unhappy with being locked inside all the time.

Even though, there are so so very many dangers for cats who are accessible to the outside.....

Me personally - I spoke to our vets about it and hearing all I said they advised me to not keep my kitties inside only.  But we live in an large landscape house (only one story) and all windows are open all the time for them to go in and out...   And we have a large outside yard which is their territory and home.  And we don't have a wild life around who could hurt my cats, only cars.....!!!!!  But vets said that if a cat has a home -  that cat could not be ever hurt outside, they are so very smart - more than we know, and their statistics proves it here.

I know that some of mine go out of the property at times and it is a constant huge worry for me, but I had to make a choice and not keep them strictly inside.

So far nothing every happened to either of my 6.

But your situation might be different if you live in town in a flat.  So in that case my advice might not be the right one...   Sorry...

 

[crazycatowner]

Hi there,

I'm a 'mum' of 6 cats that are of feral origin.

There is NOTHING that would keep them inside only.

You people with your own houses in your own remote areas are making me so jealous right now!

Mine's also feral in origin. She was rescued from the outside, then lived in a home full of cats for a while, where every soul was allowed to come in and out as they pleased, and only afterwards she moved in with me. On the 12th floor. With no outdoor access. I guess her first months of life really stuck to her.

The back street of my block is relatively low in traffic, so that's where I'm walking her. For a few nights now she made friends with two fat happy strays and likes to play with them a lot. When I call her inside, she cries and they cry.  It's a concert.

 

[ligwa]

She will get used to being inside. She's still young. If it were me, I wouldn't take her out at all. Spend the time playing with her instead. Taking her out is just teasing her at this point. Believe me, you can have a happy indoor kitty. I have one that I had to listen to cry for a whole year. Almost drove me insane. But the risk in being out there was too great for me. And vet visits for sick hurt kitties can rack up to thousands of dollars.

I'm all for letting cats out if there is room, like no other houses, cars, etc. But I don't have that. And you don't have that. If you wear her out playing, she'll be too tired to cry to go out. I have two cats. I don't play with them in the morning as I have to go to work. But I do play with them for a good amount of time in the evenings. And they both sleep all night.

Good luck. I hope you get it figured out so you can get some rest.
 

 

[crazycatowner]

She will get used to being inside. She's still young. If it were me, I wouldn't take her out at all. Spend the time playing with her instead. Taking her out is just teasing her at this point. Believe me, you can have a happy indoor kitty. I have one that I had to listen to cry for a whole year. Almost drove me insane. But the risk in being out there was too great for me. And vet visits for sick hurt kitties can rack up to thousands of dollars.

I'm all for letting cats out if there is room, like no other houses, cars, etc. But I don't have that. And you don't have that. If you wear her out playing, she'll be too tired to cry to go out. I have two cats. I don't play with them in the morning as I have to go to work. But I do play with them for a good amount of time in the evenings. And they both sleep all night.

Good luck. I hope you get it figured out so you can get some rest.
 

Your side of the issue is, of course, true as well. It's not just the big health issues I'm concerned, like her being hit by a car for instance, but also the small stuff, like worms and fleas and stuff from other cats. And I cannot help blaming myself for every time I took her with me when travelling. Even in the carrier, she must have seen something outside that she now cannot let go of.

At the same time - and I thought about this for many sleepless nights - I cannot help considering her anything else than a living soul and a partner in crime . I don't think of her as my property. To me, she has never been a pet that I owned and can command at will. In my house, she's allowed to go anywhere, sit anywhere, do anything she likes. So under these parameters, if I were in her place, wanting a bit of freedom, would I really want someone to keep me locked up? With the excuse that it's for my own good? And would I want them ignoring my cries all night long in the hopes that I'll eventually shut up?

I don't know. I'm probably overthinking this, I tried to see the issue from every angle possible. I am very grateful to everyone who shared their opinion in this thread. It has helped me a great deal. We are currently spending more time outside, sometimes without a leash, sometimes playing more, and I can see her getting a bit more tired at night and a bit more inclined to rub all over me when I tell her that play time is over for the day.

 

[mani]

I don't know. I'm probably overthinking this, I tried to see the issue from every angle possible. I am very grateful to everyone who shared their opinion in this thread. It has helped me a great deal. We are currently spending more time outside, sometimes without a leash, sometimes playing more, and I can see her getting a bit more tired at night and a bit more inclined to rub all over me when I tell her that play time is over for the day.

Well that's a start

I really do understand that feeling of inflicing your will on a cat.  But we do the same with kids.. we do have more of an idea of the dangers.  

I'm hoping the two of you can reach a happy compromise.