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- Mar 29, 2018
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Hello, I have 3 young cats who are sisters (litter-mates). They are almost 2 years old.
Samantha was hospitalized for 4 days 4 weeks ago. We have been working through non-recognition aggression from Isla ever since.
There was a little bit of bullying from Isla prior to the hospitalization, but we think that was due to her sensing that Samantha was ill.
When we brought Samantha home from the hospital, Isla was very very unnerved. Very very tense, anxiously meowing kinda of like "What the heck is going on???". We knew that this could happen, so we didn't push a reintroduction and kept them separated.
Our third kitty, Darci, was reunited with Samantha almost immediately. She hissed once and then they were BFFs again.
After a few days, Isla calmed down. She would eat "with" Samantha on two sides of the door. I carried her into the room that Samantha was in and observed her. She appeared calm, she didn't feel tense in my arm. Her pupils were neither dilated nor overly constricted. I set her down. She immediately charged Samantha and they had a few seconds of a fur-flying very aggressive fight. I made lots of noise, and they separated. Isla got her nose skinned a little, but they otherwise seemed uninjured. We have essentially kept them separated since, though sometimes, doors have been opened due to miscommunication or forgetfulness between family members. They had a few nasty fights that were just as quickly broken up with no apparent injury.
What I have done:
- a few multicat feliway brand diffusers.
- calming pheromone collars for both Isla and Samantha.
- GNC pets calming formula treats.
- additional feeding stations and litter boxes.
- calming cat music.
- continued feeding both at the door, which has a few inch gap at the bottom.
- separation: I have essentially been rotating Samantha and Isla between confinement in a bedroom and being free in the rest of the house with Darci. Mainly because I'd noted that whoever had the run of the house was taking on the role of aggressor during the accidental meetings. Although that seems to be waning. We've gotten better at not having the accidental meetings happen, and it's only Isla being aggressive now. Samantha is defensive, but not aggressive. I also was concerned with maintaining Darci's relationships with both Samantha and Isla. I try to spend time with all three cats, but especially the confined one.
- harness training: after a few weeks, I have acclimated both to harnesses with leashes so that I can control them when I put them together. This is something that I essentially have been feeling out to see what does and does not work.
Prior to the hospitalization, Samantha was the very docile underling cat. Isla was the alpha cat. Samantha pretty much avoided her when it was necessary, but there were also lots of times when they would be snuggling and groom each other. However, during the 4 day hospitalization, she found her voice. It surprised me that she fought Isla back rather than running away. I think it is surprising Isla too. She's never had a cat fight back.
It's been 4 weeks. My family and I are growing wary of all of this tension and I'd like to get this resolved as soon as it realistically can be. (IF it realistically can be). I noticed that Isla started pouncing under the doorway a few days ago. It seemed playful rather than aggressive. She also started meowing like she used to when she was separated from Samantha and distressed by the separation. It seems like maybe she remembers who Samantha is again. The past few days, I've supervised and facilitated "visits". I have put the harness and leash on Isla during these visits, but let Samantha roam. Isla still seems a bit scruffed with the harness on, which I've been using to my advantage to keep her from approaching Samantha. I gave them the calming treats, and then played with them all in the room together. Darci is a peacemaker and has a good relationship with both. I've included her, which seems to help.
Today, I opened the door for breakfast for the first time instead of keeping it closed. They all ate together, a few feet away from each other, for the first time. Then I let them be, without any harnesses, and supervised them. Isla approached Samantha with dilated pupils. Samantha hissed and went on top of the microwave. I did not let Isla join her up there. Isla retreated for a while, but then came back and became more insistent on getting to Samantha. I eventually put Isla in a room. Later, I harnessed Isla and sat with them in a room without facilitating much. Isla wanted to get to Samantha, but was not aggressive about it. She still acts a bit scruffed in the harness. This afternoon, I've spent 3 hours with them in a room during their major sleep time of the day. They are sleeping adjacently, unharnessed, but with calming treats for Isla. Isla woke up and has prowled around the room a little bit. She has a circuit. She sits on my lap for a while, then circles the room, then approaches Samantha. Samantha hisses. They lock eyes and things look like they will escalate. I pet them and put Isla on my lap to intervene. She purrs. Samantha goes back to sleep. Repeat. She approached Samantha one last time, sussed the situation, but instead of sniffing, she bit. A not break the skin, not actually painful communication bite. Samantha was sleeping and unaware of her until the bite. But Samantha was started to react and they were going to start fighting, so I yelled, and Samantha ran away.
It seems like Isla now remembers who Samantha is and is trying to reassert her old dominance. Samantha, however, is not as docile as she used to be after all of her unfortunate experiences in the hospital and at home this past month. Isla's tactics are now a bit more aggressive than they used to be. But not terribly far off from baseline. Obviously I'd like for Isla to never be a bully at all, but I'm not sure how to broach that, or how realistic it is in a 3 cat household where there is going to be a hierarchy. It's also a whole different goal than at present, which is all three cats fully reunited and physically safe.
Thoughts? What should I be doing differently here? Thank you for reading this very long post.
Samantha was hospitalized for 4 days 4 weeks ago. We have been working through non-recognition aggression from Isla ever since.
There was a little bit of bullying from Isla prior to the hospitalization, but we think that was due to her sensing that Samantha was ill.
When we brought Samantha home from the hospital, Isla was very very unnerved. Very very tense, anxiously meowing kinda of like "What the heck is going on???". We knew that this could happen, so we didn't push a reintroduction and kept them separated.
Our third kitty, Darci, was reunited with Samantha almost immediately. She hissed once and then they were BFFs again.
After a few days, Isla calmed down. She would eat "with" Samantha on two sides of the door. I carried her into the room that Samantha was in and observed her. She appeared calm, she didn't feel tense in my arm. Her pupils were neither dilated nor overly constricted. I set her down. She immediately charged Samantha and they had a few seconds of a fur-flying very aggressive fight. I made lots of noise, and they separated. Isla got her nose skinned a little, but they otherwise seemed uninjured. We have essentially kept them separated since, though sometimes, doors have been opened due to miscommunication or forgetfulness between family members. They had a few nasty fights that were just as quickly broken up with no apparent injury.
What I have done:
- a few multicat feliway brand diffusers.
- calming pheromone collars for both Isla and Samantha.
- GNC pets calming formula treats.
- additional feeding stations and litter boxes.
- calming cat music.
- continued feeding both at the door, which has a few inch gap at the bottom.
- separation: I have essentially been rotating Samantha and Isla between confinement in a bedroom and being free in the rest of the house with Darci. Mainly because I'd noted that whoever had the run of the house was taking on the role of aggressor during the accidental meetings. Although that seems to be waning. We've gotten better at not having the accidental meetings happen, and it's only Isla being aggressive now. Samantha is defensive, but not aggressive. I also was concerned with maintaining Darci's relationships with both Samantha and Isla. I try to spend time with all three cats, but especially the confined one.
- harness training: after a few weeks, I have acclimated both to harnesses with leashes so that I can control them when I put them together. This is something that I essentially have been feeling out to see what does and does not work.
Prior to the hospitalization, Samantha was the very docile underling cat. Isla was the alpha cat. Samantha pretty much avoided her when it was necessary, but there were also lots of times when they would be snuggling and groom each other. However, during the 4 day hospitalization, she found her voice. It surprised me that she fought Isla back rather than running away. I think it is surprising Isla too. She's never had a cat fight back.
It's been 4 weeks. My family and I are growing wary of all of this tension and I'd like to get this resolved as soon as it realistically can be. (IF it realistically can be). I noticed that Isla started pouncing under the doorway a few days ago. It seemed playful rather than aggressive. She also started meowing like she used to when she was separated from Samantha and distressed by the separation. It seems like maybe she remembers who Samantha is again. The past few days, I've supervised and facilitated "visits". I have put the harness and leash on Isla during these visits, but let Samantha roam. Isla still seems a bit scruffed with the harness on, which I've been using to my advantage to keep her from approaching Samantha. I gave them the calming treats, and then played with them all in the room together. Darci is a peacemaker and has a good relationship with both. I've included her, which seems to help.
Today, I opened the door for breakfast for the first time instead of keeping it closed. They all ate together, a few feet away from each other, for the first time. Then I let them be, without any harnesses, and supervised them. Isla approached Samantha with dilated pupils. Samantha hissed and went on top of the microwave. I did not let Isla join her up there. Isla retreated for a while, but then came back and became more insistent on getting to Samantha. I eventually put Isla in a room. Later, I harnessed Isla and sat with them in a room without facilitating much. Isla wanted to get to Samantha, but was not aggressive about it. She still acts a bit scruffed in the harness. This afternoon, I've spent 3 hours with them in a room during their major sleep time of the day. They are sleeping adjacently, unharnessed, but with calming treats for Isla. Isla woke up and has prowled around the room a little bit. She has a circuit. She sits on my lap for a while, then circles the room, then approaches Samantha. Samantha hisses. They lock eyes and things look like they will escalate. I pet them and put Isla on my lap to intervene. She purrs. Samantha goes back to sleep. Repeat. She approached Samantha one last time, sussed the situation, but instead of sniffing, she bit. A not break the skin, not actually painful communication bite. Samantha was sleeping and unaware of her until the bite. But Samantha was started to react and they were going to start fighting, so I yelled, and Samantha ran away.
It seems like Isla now remembers who Samantha is and is trying to reassert her old dominance. Samantha, however, is not as docile as she used to be after all of her unfortunate experiences in the hospital and at home this past month. Isla's tactics are now a bit more aggressive than they used to be. But not terribly far off from baseline. Obviously I'd like for Isla to never be a bully at all, but I'm not sure how to broach that, or how realistic it is in a 3 cat household where there is going to be a hierarchy. It's also a whole different goal than at present, which is all three cats fully reunited and physically safe.
Thoughts? What should I be doing differently here? Thank you for reading this very long post.
- They have always seemed sensitive and receptive to auditory input, positive or negative. When we first brought them home from the shelter, we streamed albums specifically for cats off Spotify. It seemed to help. It's mostly new age-type, calm music which isn't terrible to play anyway.
But I recently read about someone who takes all their cats to the vet, when only one needs to go. That way they all come home with the "vet" smell.
