No social life because of my cat's aggressive behaviour please help!

[stevie_rae]

Hi all,
My cat just turned 1. He had quite a bad past. I got him really young from a dodgy shelter and he was malnourished, had a bad URI and ringworm. It took about 3 months of round the clock care before he was back to good health and eating normally. He isn't a very affectionate kitty - he does love to play and occasionally purrs for my partner. But in saying that we can pick him up, and even if he wants to get down he would never hiss or bite us.

Whenever someone else comes into the house he becomes very aggressive. I can tell that he is scared, because the more people that come over the worse he gets. If people are standing up he seems to be okay - very curious about them. He sniffs them and tries to climb up their legs to sniff further. 
As soon as they sit down he will jump up onto their lap or stand really close to them and start hissing. If they dont back down or leave he will swipe, bite, and really go crazy. God forbid if they try to touch him or even look at him.

I've tried to look up this behaviour but all i can seem to find is 'fear aggression' where cats get scared when they can't escape, and certain tips to help this such as making sure they have hiding places, not making a person approach them etc. The problem is, he always approaches the stranger, they pay no attention to him. Even people he has met over and over its the same reaction. He can easily run into one of the bedrooms (in fact when we lock him away when people are over after his bad behaviour he starts to cry).

I'm really not sure how to handle this. I'm nervous about having people over, especially children, and i can't invite people over and make them stand up.

Does anyone have any tips to help me at all? Or anything that can help to relax him?

Thanks so much!

 

[p3 and the king]

It could very well be from his past or he could have a chemical inbalance.  Yes, pets can get those, too, just like people.  However, diagnosing that and medicating it at the level he needs can be a long and costly process.  And, just like with people, medications are not always a magic fix it all.  It just helps balance them out. 

I would suggest feliway diffusers in almost every room of your home, where he spends the most time.  This can help significantly.  But, it is also costly, though cheaper than behavior meds.  I would suggest ordering them online as it is usually a lot cheaper.  Also it doesn't always help every cat and can take up to a month to see any noticeable changes.  Maybe you could get the calming collar instead.  You'd only need one and it's not as costly.  It works in the same manner.  But it's around the cats neck 24/7.  Again, it may not help but what have you got to lose? 

How do you pet him and play with him?  Does he get agitated or does he have spasms going up and down his back?  If so, these are signs he is overstimulated and is about to strike.  Just leave him alone and let him calm down.  Hissing, growling and biting is also signs of overstimulation.  He is saying "I've had enough.  Leave me alone for now."  Once you start recognizing the signs, it can help you to know to just stop and leave him be.  You won't get attacked. 

For when visitors come over, until he calms down somehow, either from meds or feliway or the calming collar... Is there a room you can put him in to keep him away from strangers?  Some place he can be comfortable, with his stuff and his toys and maybe a few treats. 

Also do you have any interactive toys such as Da Bird or maybe a cat tree for him to climb near a window?  He seems bored.  Some stimulation can help his aggression a lot, as well.  I hope this helps.  Good luck!

 

[Willowy]

I just wouldn't allow him near visitors. Maybe he'd prefer a kitty condo to a closed door? Something like this: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000I1M76Q/?tag=&tag=thecatsite, all decked out with a litterbox and a cozy bed. Then he could see what's going on instead of being shut in a back bedroom. But without maiming anybody :lol3:.

As for reasons, I find that a lot of kitties who weren't with their mother long enough show erratic behavior. I guess it's like those children who were raised in neglectful orphanages and end up with attachment disorders, even when adopted before they can remember the neglect. . .your infancy has a big effect on your brain chemistry.

 

[stevie_rae]

Thanks so much for your replies. I will definitely try the feliway diffusers. As you said - I have nothing to lose. I don't think I would be able to get him to wear a collar, we tried that really young and he hated it so we didn't bother.

He has never hissed at my partner or I. He loves to play fetch and also wrestle with our hands and pounce. However, he is never really fighting us. His bites are softer than they could be and if I pick him up he will calm down and stop it. When he is tired he comes up to our bed purrs and rubs his head all over and falls asleep on my partners chest. He seems to purr for my partner more than me, whenever he gets home from work and picks him up he purrs. He is never aggressive towards me and is sometimes happy being held but rarely purrs. He also sleeps under the covers of our bed most nights.
In saying that he doesn't like to be touched, only when he is really tired. He might let you pat him a few times but he always leaves. Especially being touched on the head. But he never gets aggressive, just walks away.
I know he has a lot of anxiety. He often puffs up really big and turns sideways when we walk around a corner too fast or startle him. When he realises that it is us he settles down. But again, no hissing.

When visitors come over he gets put in the room he sleeps in - with his cat tree, bed, toys, litter and food. He still cries at the door and wants to be involved in whatever we are doing.
I don't think he is bored, one of us is always home. He is rarely home alone, maybe for 2 hours a day if that. We are playing with him for most of the day, and he has lots of cat trees, toys, interactive toys. His favourite game is fetch which he will probably play about 5 times a day

Another thing that is odd - he loves my roommate who has been here for about 5 months now. That's the only person he has taken too. Not sure if this has anything to do with it, but my roommate isn't too interested in him and locks him out of his room. He spends a lot of time crying at his door to try and get in. But he has never been aggressive towards him or his girlfriend.

In regards to the second comment, yes he was definitely separated from his mother really early on. They gave him to us saying he was 12 weeks but he vet told us he was more like 4. I also don't think his mother was in the picture for the time before we got him. We found it took him a while to get used to play fighting softly, and he kneads all the time. Which I have heard can be caused from separating too early from the mother.

I love him dearly but it's just really hard to have visitors over. When they do come over they mainly just pop in and out and its really hard to get someone to actually stay the night.

 

[p3 and the king]

I know this seems silly and not everyone is a "cat person"... But tell your roomate to acknowledge him and interact just a little with him.  Cats tend to be attracted to people who ignore them and don't like them much, especially if they have anxiety and behavior issues.  The reason is, these people seem submissive and non confrontational to them.  People like this tend to avoid eye contact or interaction so it peaks a cats curiosity.  If your roomate starts being more comfortable with him, he may start to ignore him completely.  Maybe not, but it's usually the reason cats like non cat people. 

It does cause them anxiety to be locked in another room.  My sisters cat, Belle, is the same way.  She has chemical inbalances and requires meds for them but my sister cannot afford them, so they have learned to deal with it in other ways.  She uses feliway and the calming collar both and has had great success with them.  It doesn't help with all of Belle's problems... She still hisses at visitors, even me, but she doesn't attack them anymore.  So they don't have to lock her in a room when they have company.  And they don't have to worry as much when my sister is out of the house at work... Belle is very co dependent on my sister and freaks out when she is not home... I mean, BAD!  She's even made herself very sick in the past and almost died from it.  But the feliway and the calming collar help her a lot.  They wish they could afford the meds to balance her out more but I told her "Meds are not a fix it all and often lead to very bad side affects.  I think she is just fine and the best you can hope for doing as you are now."

 

[stevie_rae]

Thanks for your detailed reply again!

My roommate unfortunately, is not the best person going around. Hard enough to make him pay his bills, let alone interact with my cat But he will be gone for good in December and I won't have to deal with roommates again. Just my partner and myself from there on Hopefully that settles him a bit too.
I will definitely try ordering feliway and hope for the best. He is due for his next round of shots in a month so i'll bring the issue up with the vet and see what he suggests. Vet trips are never fun unfortunately!