I hope this is the right forum for this. In a nutshell: I got a new kitten so that my current cat would have a buddy, but instead of making my household happier, it's just made me depressed.
I had an easy time with my Mal when she was a kitten. She was one of those kittens where the night I went to pick her up, she was already crawling all over me, and she was jumping up into my lap from day one. I love her. She's my little snuggly buddy. The thing is, I think she spoiled me. Because now I have Alex, and Alex is different. And instead of feeling happy and excited whenever I see him, I mostly feel frustrated and sad.
Alex is a more aloof kitty. I get that he will probably not be as snuggly as Mal, and I'm working on respecting that. When I pick him up, I only do it until he starts thrashing. I pet him in place. I feed him good quality diets, change the litter regularly, and have several play time sessions a day. I take him to the vet when I suspect there's an issue. But I feel like I'm just not getting anything in return. The only time he shows any interest in me is when he wants food. He never seeks me out on his own initiative for a pet or anything. I know that if that's the way he is, I need to just let him be, but right now I kind of feel like he's just a walking ottoman or something. Not an animal companion, but a rather high-maintenance piece of furniture.
I'm also a bit worried because there are times when I have to touch him, like when I clip his toenails. I try to play with his feet when he's asleep, but anything near his toes is like an alarm clock, and then he's thrashing again. But they need to get clipped, so I have to restrain him to at least get one or two done. So now I'm worried that he only sees me as some kind of monster out to cut his toes, because he doesn't want any kind of friendly contact.
The thing that saddens me most is that since I got him, my Mal is less cuddly than before. So I feel like I sacrificed my one sweet, cuddly cat for a walking stomach that gives me little in return.
I just don't know. He's a good cat - doesn't scratch furniture, doesn't go outside the litter box. He and Mal get along. But I just don't feel any kind of connection to him, to the point where there are times I think about giving him back. He's a little over two months old. I don't know if I should give him more time and just keep treating him well and giving him space (other than the toenail clippings, which I see no way around), if it's better to just ignore him at all times other than feeding him or having play sessions, or just trying for a clean break.
I had an easy time with my Mal when she was a kitten. She was one of those kittens where the night I went to pick her up, she was already crawling all over me, and she was jumping up into my lap from day one. I love her. She's my little snuggly buddy. The thing is, I think she spoiled me. Because now I have Alex, and Alex is different. And instead of feeling happy and excited whenever I see him, I mostly feel frustrated and sad.
Alex is a more aloof kitty. I get that he will probably not be as snuggly as Mal, and I'm working on respecting that. When I pick him up, I only do it until he starts thrashing. I pet him in place. I feed him good quality diets, change the litter regularly, and have several play time sessions a day. I take him to the vet when I suspect there's an issue. But I feel like I'm just not getting anything in return. The only time he shows any interest in me is when he wants food. He never seeks me out on his own initiative for a pet or anything. I know that if that's the way he is, I need to just let him be, but right now I kind of feel like he's just a walking ottoman or something. Not an animal companion, but a rather high-maintenance piece of furniture.
I'm also a bit worried because there are times when I have to touch him, like when I clip his toenails. I try to play with his feet when he's asleep, but anything near his toes is like an alarm clock, and then he's thrashing again. But they need to get clipped, so I have to restrain him to at least get one or two done. So now I'm worried that he only sees me as some kind of monster out to cut his toes, because he doesn't want any kind of friendly contact.
The thing that saddens me most is that since I got him, my Mal is less cuddly than before. So I feel like I sacrificed my one sweet, cuddly cat for a walking stomach that gives me little in return.
I just don't know. He's a good cat - doesn't scratch furniture, doesn't go outside the litter box. He and Mal get along. But I just don't feel any kind of connection to him, to the point where there are times I think about giving him back. He's a little over two months old. I don't know if I should give him more time and just keep treating him well and giving him space (other than the toenail clippings, which I see no way around), if it's better to just ignore him at all times other than feeding him or having play sessions, or just trying for a clean break.
