Newly Adopted Cat Problems

[stargate]

Hello I'm Michael and I Adopted a ~1 yr old DSH female from a shelter 2 weeks ago. This cat I was told had socialization problems as a kitten and had already been returned once due to behavior. But the adoption agent assured me that the cat was now well socialized and it was the last owners fault (which it sounded like it was) that she was returned.

So about me. I am a Senior in college and I live by myself in a one bedroom apartment (8-9 100 sqft). I brought her home and put her in the bathroom until I could finish setting up the house. She wouldn't come out of the traveling cage with me in there so I left and came back in a few min after setting some stuff up and she had left the cage and was in the tub. I picked her up and petted her for awhile (with all the talking in a soothing voice and I even tried to give her a treat at the end, which she refused). The next time I cam in she was hiding under the commode's water line. At this point the house was setup and I let her out.

The first thing she did was go hide under my chest of drawers. I moved the food, water, and litter box to my bedroom, (where she was) and would pet her some (she would allow me to pet her but she wouldn't come out and would stay pressed back against the back wall. This went on for a couple of days until she decided under the bed was better. About the third day she would come out from under the bed while I was asleep and meow at me from on top of my dresser, I would wake up and she would go back under the bed. After a full week of this (her not coming out from under the bed) I asked some friends that are married, older, and have had cats for over 10 years what to do and they suggested, and helped me, block the under part of the bed and the dresser. This made the cat hide where I could get to her. Every day I have gone slowly and without making much noise and picked her up (she will hiss when I fist come up but as long as i go slow will let me pet her where she is hiding) after petting her a little I will pick her up onto my lap. She gets her claws out to try to resist (grab onto the shelf) as I do this but will normally let me get her onto my lap. (although I have a nice scratch from where she used my hand as a launching platform to get back to the shelf when I tried to pick her up directly instead of going through the sitting routine first) I would then pet her on my lap until she starts purring and then something inevitability catches my attention for a second and the cat escapes off of my lap and looks for a hiding space again. This has gone on every day this week and I have seen no Improvement from her. Every time she see's me she run's away. She has never once come up to me upon her own free will. I am a college student, not a full time cat socialization trainer. I don't know what to do. I'm starting to feel more like a cat socialization trainer than a happy cat owner. I'm trying to figure out whether to ask the shelter if I can trade for a different cat or what are my options.

 

[rafm]

She sounds terrified. Stop trying to pick her up, that only adds to her anxiety. You will have to take it very slow with her but I can tell you from experience, once she does come around, it's the BEST feeling in the world.

First, get her a hiding place. We typically get a covered cat bed that she can retreat to. This is her safe place. Don't pull her out of it and don't reach your hand in. Let her initiate. This is her safe place, don't make it a 'trap'. Put a t-shirt that you have worn in the bad, this will get your scent on her and she will recognize you more.

Next, bring her an irresistible, tasty treat to lure her out of her hut. Tuna, chicken, something she only gets from you that is different from her dry kibble.

And get a kitty wand or laser pointer. Use those to lure her out as well.

And above all, stop trying to force her to do what she doesn't want to do. Some kitties require more patience than others. Sounds like she's had some traumatic experiences....make your home a calm, peaceful and SAFE place for her and she will come around.

Some kitties take longer than others. Do you have a pic of her you can share?

 

[stargate]

This was when I was getting her to blink back. (FYI her name is Nibbler)


As far as the treat thing is concerned i have tried multiple brands and flavors including temptations and actual tuna and she will not accept any treats while I'm there and many times she won't even eat them if I leave them and come back later (even after she starts purring in a petting session).

As far as the toys I have a lazer pointer, cat wand, catnip mice, and those balls with bells inside and she has never once shown any interest. Also she dosen't seem to care for catnip

I feel bad that the cat has had bad expierences in the past but I was looking for a companion and all I've had from this cat so far is pain and trouble.

I waited an entire week to give her a chance to come out from under the bed when I first brought her home how long will it take.

 

[morningrl]

In my opinion, the shelter made a mistake in adopting this poor kitty to an inexperienced cat person. She needs time and patience to come around... and you needed a kitten to entertain you. Again, this is not your fault, as you had no idea. I adopted an 8 yr old cat that was similar to this a little over a year ago, she took a few months to get comfortable here. Good luck with your decision.

 

[stargate]

I don't want a cat "for entertainment" alone, some yes but a lot of it is for companionship.

I didn't have a cat growing up (brother was VERY allergic (asthma)). So yes I am very inexperienced. But I don't think it's fair to put it the way you did insinuating I just want a cat for entertainment. In fact I picked this cat vs a kitten in the first place because I figured it would be a little bit more mellow and I valued companionship over playfulness (but i wanted both).

 

[stephanietx]

Congratulations on your new kitty! My first cat was a scaredy cat and I had never owned (or been owned by) a cat previously. I can tell you from my own experience that a relationship with this type of kitty is one of the most rewarding experiences.

As mentioned, get her a box or something that can be her "safe place". We've used boxes turned upside down with the flaps cut off and a hole cut in the end for access as well as covered beds. Put some towels or a blanket in there so she has something soft to lay on. Also, the shirt suggestion above is a good one. That way she always has a place to retreat to.

Get some feliway diffusers and plug them in. I would imagine if you're in an apt, one or two would be sufficient. They can be costly, but you can find refills online for cheaper than in stores. At least get one as soon as possible to help right away. The feliway will help calm her down and decrease the stress level. Remember, she's in a new place with a new person and new sounds, so of course she's going to be scared.

Don't try to pick her up, let her come to you. Get some toys on strings that you can use to entice her out of her hiding place. Also, you can put treats outside the safe place while you're visiting with her. Sit on the floor near her and read to her (your textbooks, whatever's on your laptop screen, it doesn't matter). This helps her become accustomed to your voice.

I would put her back in the bathroom or confine her to your bedroom until she trusts you and you can handle her without frightening her. Everytime you go to visit, bring her food. That way, you're associated with a good thing. Of course, you don't want to overfeed her, but a small spoon of baby food (plain meat, no onions or garlic) or a small serving of some yummy smelling canned food (slightly warmed up if you've put it in the fridge) will go a long way in her coming to trust you.

Lastly, know that sometimes it just takes time, patience, and lots of TLC to get a kitty to warm up to you. Don't take it personally. Each cat is different and you have to appreciate their uniqueness. You might also want to read in the caring for strays and ferals section for more ideas.

 

[buffalo-mitch]

Originally Posted by stargate

I don't want a cat "for entertainment" alone, some yes but a lot of it is for companionship.

I didn't have a cat growing up (brother was VERY allergic (asthma)). So yes I am very inexperienced. But I don't think it's fair to put it the way you did insinuating I just want a cat for entertainment. In fact I picked this cat vs a kitten in the first place because I figured it would be a little bit more mellow and I valued companionship over playfulness (but i wanted both).

Basically dude, thats how a lot of people are on here. I came here to get advice for a kitten I was going to get (and now have) and most people just turned there nose up at me and said I can't have a cat because I'm younger (a teenager). You probably will find help on here, but plenty of people here will just assume you think a cat is a toy and not acutally want a cat for companionship (like I did).

To be honest, I would probably just return the cat. I feel like some adoption agencies will just tell you more of what you want to hear in order to get rid of hard to adopt cats.

 

[jcat]

to TCS!

Two weeks really isn't an abnormally long time for a frightened cat to hide out, and since she's allowing you to pet her, this definitely isn't a lost cause. The tips regarding a hiding place, food/treats, Feliway, reading to her, etc., are really sound advice. Keep up the blinking and give yourselves a little more time to adjust to the new situation. The more stressed you get, the more stressed she'll become.

 

[morningrl]

Originally Posted by stargate

I don't want a cat "for entertainment" alone, some yes but a lot of it is for companionship.

I didn't have a cat growing up (brother was VERY allergic (asthma)). So yes I am very inexperienced. But I don't think it's fair to put it the way you did insinuating I just want a cat for entertainment. In fact I picked this cat vs a kitten in the first place because I figured it would be a little bit more mellow and I valued companionship over playfulness (but i wanted both).

I'm sorry if you took that wrong... I didn't mean it that way. I meant you want a friend, someone to play (or interact) with. This cat should have never been adopted to just anyone.. again, that doesn't make you a bad person, but this cat needs work... and the shelter KNEW that. THEY knew this cat wasn't going to cuddle with you and it was wrong of them to burden you with the guilt of wanting to return her because she isn't the right cat for you. I did not mean to make you feel worse... inexperienced isn't bad... it's just not a right fit for you or the kitty. And should you keep her and work with her eventually she may come around... but there is no way to know that either.

 

[morningrl]

Originally Posted by buffalo-mitch

Basically dude, thats how a lot of people are on here. I came here to get advice for a kitten I was going to get (and now have) and most people just turned there nose up at me and said I can't have a cat because I'm younger (a teenager). You probably will find help on here, but plenty of people here will just assume you think a cat is a toy and not acutally want a cat for companionship (like I did).

To be honest, I would probably just return the cat. I feel like some adoption agencies will just tell you more of what you want to hear in order to get rid of hard to adopt cats.

The only problem here is a miscommunication.. which happens in text only, since you can't hear how things are implied. I have NEVER turned my nose up at anyone.. and never thought age matter on cat ownership. I'm sorry that you had a bad experience.

 

[mrblanche]

I volunteer at a shelter, and this is the sort of thing I worry about. I've seen great cats at the shelter get to a home and go into hiding. I don't know why. Sometimes it's a smell in the home (maybe a dog that was there before the current resident), maybe something else in the house, possibly even a sound (remember, cats have amazing hearing). It might be the adopter's voice.

And some cats are just not friendly. However, it's amazing how they can suddenly change without any noticeable warning.

But it seems to me the shelter did you a real disservice here, and it might be time to cut your losses and find a cat that is friendlier.

 

[rafm]

This is why we decided to keep our Claire. She is so pretty and everyone wanted to adopt her, even when we told them she wasn't fond of humans. We knew she would either be returned or thrown out. These kinds of kitties take a lot of work and patience and experience. Even with experience it can be frustrating and overwhelming at times.

If I were the OP and didn't have experience with such a special kitty I would probably have a long talk with the shelter and see what my options were. The sheltef was irresponsible in adopting out an unsocialized cat.

I wish you and the kitty all the luck in the world and I hope you make the right decision for you and her.

 

[callista]

I really think the two of you can get to know each other. It's not a lost cause; it really isn't. My two cats were both very frightened when they first came to stay with me and they are both quite attached to me now--not lap cats, but they come up to me for attention and occasionally climb up onto my bed, and like being petted. They both climb onto my lap occasionally.

Picking her up is not really the best option right now--the people who are talking about making her a safe place are right. Giving her a safe place and being very, very predictable would allow her to figure out who you are for herself. She is a young cat--a year old, you say--and that means she is probably still mentally flexible. She may become a "one-person cat", though.

As for playing, it's likely she's simply too afraid to play right now. Cats who are frightened or sick (and I've had experience with both) are generally just not in the mood to play with anything.

A rough timeline for Tiny, who was a stray when he came, and nine months old:
1 week: Tiny is hiding in small spaces, but comes out to eat.
2 weeks: Tiny comes out to explore occasionally, and is eating well.
3 weeks: Tiny lets me touch him, and will extend his head to sniff my hand if I reach out to him. We start playing with a dangled string.
1-2 months: Tiny no longer hides most of the time, and is willing to lie in the open. He purrs when I pet him.
3-6 months: Tiny starts seeking me out for attention, and climbs into my lap for the first time.
9 months: Tiny will headbutt me for attention, rub around my ankles after I shower (presumably to get me to "smell right" again), and show interest in what I am doing.
1-2 years: Tiny starts climbing into my bed and snuggling with me there, as well as climbing into my lap if I ask him to, learning when I am calling him, and learning enough about me to respond to my mood and actions. Tiny spends most of his time in the room I am in. At this point, he is a "one-person cat" who will warily watch visitors from a hiding place.

 

[white cat lover]

Welcome to TCS!

First off - your username made me giggle as I am currently watching Stargate on the TV.

As for your new baby, Nibbler. IMO adopting a timid cat & bonding with them is more rewarding than adopting an "outgoing" cat. I have a multi-cat household (10+). Many of them were adults when I got them, but several of them all-around were not socialized. Very fearful of humans, hid, scratched me when I approached, etc. They are now the most bonded to me, following me around talking, wanting to be petted, etc.

I'd set her up with a "safe place". Invest in a Feliway diffuser. Just sit & talk to her, softly. Perhaps read a book aloud, sitting on the floor. Just talk. Be relaxed, calm, no fast movements. Just "hang out" around her. Show her you're nothing to be afraid of. She's had bad experiences in life, she will understandably take more time to trust people.

 

[minka]

Even friendly confident cats can get nervous when put in a new home. Even if you went back and picked another cat out, there is no guarantee that it would strut out of the cage and be right at home. My first cat I'd already had for a year and when I moved her to a new home, she hid under the bed for a week or two.

Be patient, talk to her, don't force her out of hiding and she will warm up to you, I promise.

(Plus, she's ADORABLE!

)

 

[stargate]

sorry for going AWOL.

I simply decided I did not have the time to properly socialize nibbler. I traded her for Peeps (Pixie Pipsqueak) who is super affectionate and also about 10 mo old.

 

[mrblanche]

I love the pink nose! And he looks like he has a lot of personality.

 

[cat person]

Congratulations on your new kitty. She is a very cute girl for sure. Keep us posted on her personality. She looks very loving and calm

!

 

[stargate]

her personality is amazing (a little bit of an attention hound), however I dont think the food they gave me is what she's been eating and she's been vomiting some (I was told to start transitioning her to adult food). I plan on taking her to the vet tomorrow or the next day for her checkup I'm supposed to get within 30 days of adoption and I figure I'll ask then.

 

[bluerexbear]

I am an experienced cat owner - have had cats all my life - but until last year, had never had a cat like you describe.

My Sissy (who was very loving) died in July of last year. In January, I went to a no-kill shelter and adopted a lovely 6 year old cat. I was told the same story that you were...she was brought back for being shy, previous owner was at fault, blah blah blah. Come to find out, the poor cat I brought home that night was deathly scared of other animals! Um...I had another cat (at that time) and a dog! They knew that! They didn't care. I brought her home and, for a month, she hid in a closet - terrified to move. When dh and I went into the bathroom and shut the door, she would come out and love on us, but when that door opened again, she was hiding!

Finally, I did take her back to the no-kill shelter. I told them that she was not okay with other animals and she needed a home where she was the ONLY pet! It was only then that they shared that she had been owned by a hoarder and was bullied BRUTALLY by some of the other resident cats. NICE TO KNOW! Poor girl!

My advice is that, if you don't see any change in her in the next little bit, I would take her back to the shelter - as long as it is a no kill shelter. If it is not, I would look for a group that is and take her there, but tell them of her problems so they can adopt her out to someone who understands her issues and is ready and willing to work with her.

If you do that and then choose another cat, I would recommend a 6-8 month old kitten. They are fun and they also are pretty adaptable. Rex, the kitten we got after the shy girl went back, walked in the door like he owned the place on day one and has never looked back.

Best of luck to you!


EDITED: I read your update after posting this. As you can see, I pretty much advised exactly what you ended up doing. As for the vomiting with your new baby - it could be lots of things. She may have a hairball or she could have some allergies to the food you are feeding. I would try feeding her more wet food and see if that helps any. All cats vomit on occasion, but anything chronic probably needs to be checked by the vet.

She is adorable!