Newbie over here! Seeking integration tips for a 7 month and 3 month old kittens :)

[sarahsate]

Hello!

I am a pround new cat momma of two feral kittens I rescued.  Toki, a 7 month male lived with us for a month until we decided to get him a playmate, Inky the female 3 month baby.  Toki had been fostered by a household with 3 other cats and two dogs before he came with us.  And Inky has been with us for two weeks now!  Both are very similar in personality type, energetic and playful but with bouts of the sweetest cuddling.  They're also both GREAT with humans, they walk right up to anyone!  But socializing with each other is another story...

We kept Inky in the bedroom for a week while swapping linens and bedding to get her smell around the apartment.  Toki never hissed or puffed up, just as curious as could be.    We cracked the door during mealtimes and let them bat paws through the crack and still no hissing or anything malicious!  

On the first controlled meet, we let Toki in the bedroom with kitten in the carrier.  Still, no hissing or puffing, just sniffing and huge dilated pupils.  As soon as we let Inky out of the carrier, he charges right at her!  They sniff for a little bit and  THEN the hissing started and we broke it up, fearing for Inky since she's about 1/3 of Toki's size.  After doling out some treats, we ended the session pretty soon and decided to wait a few days before the next meeting... Toki did stop eating for about two days, but I installed a Feliway diffuser and gave them Composure in their food, and now he's back to his wanting-food-24/7 self.

We tried again a couple days later and the tables had turned; kitten charged at Toki, seemingly wanting to play, but Toki got defensive!  Same drill, the session ended pretty quickly.

And NOW it's reversed yet another time... Toki is charging at her like crazy and just wants to stand on top of her, but she gets defensive and hisses.  I don't blame her, his size could easily pin her down!  They can tolerate each other while playing, but they still stare each other down and then Toki decides to charge... then a "fight" breaks out and we make loud noises to distract them.  But I can't tell if Toki is "play fighting" and the kitten is just terrified in her response... Any thoughts?

Still, there's never been any puffing, only some hissing when they get close and rare spitting.  And with each session, they get a little better each time.  Of course, if the situation doesn't clear up in a month or so, we may have to part with Inky just so both kitties can have a happy life  Any tips would be really appreciated!

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• sarahsate
• Oct 18, 2013

Toki being a toilet kitty He's a big boy!

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• sarahsate
• Oct 18, 2013

Baby Inky!

 

[sarahsate]

Hmm..starting to think I should've posted this under "behavior" forums.  Excuse my new-ness!

 

[jcat]

to TCS! I'll move this thread over to Behavior for you.
They're both incredibly cute, but I love Inky's whiskers.

 

[vball91]

Hi and welcome to TCS! Toki and Inky are adorable. I love Inky's long white whiskers and her white paws.

You are doing all the right things to introduce and integrate them. Honestly 2 weeks is not that long. It may take months for them to really get used to each other and become friends. It actually sounds like they are making great progress if they are getting better with each visit. Some hissing is pretty normal. As long as there is no fur flying or blood being drawn, they are doing okay. Patience is your friend here.

 

[sarahsate]

Thanks to both of you!  I think the Feliway and the composure is helping too.  Time will tell!  

I am just wondering if I should let the supervised "fights" work their way out on their own (as long as no blood or fur starts to fly, like you said!) because I've been stopping them every time.

Inky is my little black beauty... her fur is kind of a charcoal ombre, starting gray toward the root of the hair and fading into black.  She's a squirmy one, so maybe I can snag a better picture of her when she's sleepy.

 

[sarahsate]

Hmm...I took a video of their supervised together time tonight just in case anyone has time to review it... They were playing SO well together, then Toki charges and plays rough with her despite his panting.  Concerned mama over here! Is this normal/okay to let happen?

 

[sarahsate]

Also Toki gives the weirdest/saddest "meow" after she rejects his rough playing.  Any idea what that's about?

 

[terianne]

Hmm...I took a video of their supervised together time tonight just in case anyone has time to review it... They were playing SO well together, then Toki charges and plays rough with her despite his panting.  Concerned mama over here! Is this normal/okay to let happen?

They're adorable! Yes, it's normal...lol Don't worry and let them work out their own differences, they will get along eventually. Give them some toys and diversions from one another. Lots of kitty toys that move, roll and some nice scratching posts. They'll be fine, so don't worry. I have raised many rescues and strays together and found this to be very true. Give them lots of time...they will eventually work out their little spats.

 

[mservant]

I can understand your worry, but honestly I think keeping up with their supervised play is fine.  They are working each other out and little Inkyi is being pretty brave and makes moves to hold her own which is amazing!  If Toki wanted to inhilite her he would. Keep your eye on them like others say, and intervene if blood isn't being drawn.

When I got my previous girl tabbies a friend took in their brother. They had to introduce him to their older, larger cat at the time (a female).  She instantly took a dislike to the little boy and they had to be kept separately for ages.  She would pounce on the kitten, pin him down or in to a corner, biting and hitting him really fast and hard so it was scary even going in to rescue him. They had to be kept in separate rooms with only really brief introductions for about 2 months. We all felt really sorry for the boy kitten who was stuck in a tiny little room upstairs while top cat ruled the rest of the house. Eventually they learned to tollerate each other.  The male neuter was about twice the size of his nemesis and she continued to keep him in his place with periodic paw dustings but other than that they were fine. 

 

[sarahsate]

Yes, baby Inky is sooo brave. She'll retreat and then run back for more playing in an instant. And poor brother tabby We're lucky Toki didn't act that way for more than a day!! I'm glad they can tolerate each other now. The kittens just had a play session together and Toki loves to get on top of her and lick her (after nipping her a little) I don't think she likes to be dominated like that but maybe she'll stop hissing once she gets used to it!

 

[sarahsate]

They're adorable! Yes, it's normal...lol Don't worry and let them work out their own differences, they will get along eventually. Give them some toys and diversions from one another. Lots of kitty toys that move, roll and some nice scratching posts. They'll be fine, so don't worry. I have raised many rescues and strays together and found this to be very true. Give them lots of time...they will eventually work out their little spats.

Thank you! Today was even better .
Toki pins her down and just wants to play nip and lick her... Now if we can only get Inky to respond nicely without hissing and freaking out!

 

[sarahsate]

I can understand your worry, but honestly I think keeping up with their supervised play is fine.  They are working each other out and little Inkyi is being pretty brave and makes moves to hold her own which is amazing!  If Toki wanted to inhilite her he would. Keep your eye on them like others say, and intervene if blood isn't being drawn.

When I got my previous girl tabbies a friend took in their brother. They had to introduce him to their older, larger cat at the time (a female).  She instantly took a dislike to the little boy and they had to be kept separately for ages.  She would pounce on the kitten, pin him down or in to a corner, biting and hitting him really fast and hard so it was scary even going in to rescue him. They had to be kept in separate rooms with only really brief introductions for about 2 months. We all felt really sorry for the boy kitten who was stuck in a tiny little room upstairs while top cat ruled the rest of the house. Eventually they learned to tollerate each other.  The male neuter was about twice the size of his nemesis and she continued to keep him in his place with periodic paw dustings but other than that they were fine. 

Yes, baby Inky is sooo brave. She'll retreat and then run back for more playing in an instant. And poor brother tabby We're lucky Toki didn't act that way for more than a day!! I'm glad they can tolerate each other now. The kittens just had a play session together and Toki loves to get on top of her and lick her (after nipping her a little) I don't think she likes to be dominated like that but maybe she'll stop hissing once she gets used to it!

 

[mservant]

That sounds like it's going really well and has potential to settle down soon.  Playing then a bit of grooming is very positive.  Keep doing what ever it is you've been doing.  You have 2 cute kitties and it always feels so much better if they can get along with each other 'nicely'.  

 

[sarahsate]

 
That sounds like it's going really well and has potential to settle down soon.  Playing then a bit of grooming is very positive.  Keep doing what ever it is you've been doing.  You have 2 cute kitties and it always feels so much better if they can get along with each other 'nicely'.  

 Toki just won't stop hunting/pouncing on her... She hisses and yells every time he tries to play with her.  Should I discourage Toki from doing this?  I don't want the kitten to develop any psychological issues

  But all is happy and fine when DaBird is involved! 

 

[mservant]

Wow, if all is pleasant with DaBird involved keep going with DaBird!  It sounds like Inky is a bit frightened that Toki isn't just playing and needs to feel a bit more assured that she's safe: I guess he is a lot bigger than  her!  

Toki will almost certainly be letting his new playmate know he is the boss and has no intention of handing over his position to her in addition to maybe wanting to have a bit of fun so nothing sounds unnatural.  It is how you manage your anxiety as you watch and try to decide if and when to intervene.

When I had 2 cats they were the same age and size, from the same littler and their play fighting could look pretty scary with fur flying from time to time, but at least I knew they were equals.  With Toki and Inky I would keep doing what you have been, like the others have said: intervene if it looks serious with fur flying and or blood, or if Toki just won't give your little one a break.  If it's possible to intervene and distract with a game you are involved in rather than a telling off that might be better for both of them?   Toki is unlikely to respond well to always been told off when Inky is there, and they might also not be certain at times who is being told off, so Inky might think she is being scolded too.  Ideal would be that they both feel reasonably safe, able to express things between themselves and learn to interact with each other, but with a safety net of you being there to divert if necessary.