New rescue cat. Everyone is telling me to send her back to the rescue...

[d401]

Hello-

About a month ago, I adopted two semi-feral cats from a rescue. I already have another kitty from the same rescue. I have had him for 2 years. The 2 semi-ferals are brother and sister. They are four years old and their litter was found near a pond when they were three months old. So they have been in rescue for about 4 years. I was told they were shy, but not aggressive, Their vet reported that way in the notes, even. They have been alone in the guest room for almost this whole time. It's to the point where I can get the boy cat to come to me and I can scratch him on the belly and he rolls around purring. He will not come out from under the bed, he is still skittish, but that takes time. His sister, however... she is very aggressive, which truly surprised the owner of the rescue who claimed that no matter what kind of stressful situation she has been in, she has NEVER EVER lashed out like that. EVER. (emphasis not added by me). I just put my hand under the bed like I did with brother, and she full-on attacked my hand with claws and teeth. Then... I did not realize she was in the cat tower and when I knelt down next to the bed, my head was level with the hole and she attacked me in the face (like an ambush), and I was lucky I had my reading glasses on, or things could have been really bad. She started charging at me at one point when I even knelt next to the bed (she doesn't do that anymore, for now, thank heavens).

I was slowly introducing brother and sister to the resident cat. At one point it did not go very well- it went really off the rails. Resident cat ended up fighting with sister cat - like a REAL fight. Resident cat's ear got ripped. I have heard that if the cats get into a fight, then they will never get along, which I hope isn't the case. Obviously, they do not interact as much now. I leave the new kitties door open a crack with two door stops and a baby gate in front of it, so the door can't be pushed or pulled open further. I keep trying to interact with sister cat, even though she attacks me. She has really backed off. Today, I put my hand near her with a treat and she whacked me with her paw, but didn't use claws, which, I, personally think is progress. I could be deluded.

Ever since she attacked me in the face without provocation, people are telling me she needs to be sent back to the rescue, that she is dangerous. I don't know why her attitude has become drastically different. Maybe because of the fight? She didn't attack me before, she just cringed away. I even petted her a few times when she was in the cat tower (and basically couldn't get away), she didn't like it, but she didn't attack me either. I don't want to send her back. I know she will end up living there forever, like some other cats have in that rescue. I do not want to give up on her and basically send her back to an institution. The rescue is not necessarily a bad place, it's not rows and rows of cages or anything, they get lots of attention, and room to roam. But it isn't a home. After I was scratched in the face, my husband said he didn't mind if I wanted to still keep her on a "trial basis," but he is worried for me and his "vote" would be to send her back. Do you have any help for me on this? Someone suggested her attitude is maybe her saying she doesn't like it here. I don't know. Sorry for this being so long. I want to do the right thing, even if it is to send her back, no matter how hard that would be. I want the best for her. Thank you.

 

[molly92]

Every cat can be dangerous if they are scared enough and feel cornered. I have seen many sweet, wonderful cats react poorly when something in their environment triggered them. Sometimes it's really obvious what is making a cat upset, but sometimes it takes a lot of guesswork and trial and error to identify what is making a cat feel unsafe. And sometimes you never do figure it out completely. But there are still a lot of steps you can take to make this cat feel more comfortable.

First, about introducing the cats to the resident cat: while an aggressive fight is a definite setback, it is not unrecoverable. But you need to take things EXTREMELY slowly. Things were probably moving too fast for the female cat's comfort, which is why she reacted so poorly. You must go at the pace of the cat who is the least comfortable. When they seem comfortable with one step, only then can you move on to the next step. I would not have the door open even a crack at this point if that is upsetting her or your resident cat. These are guides for how to introduce cats, step by step:
[article="32680"]How To Successfully Introduce Cats The Ultimate Guide  [/article][article="29726"]Introducing Cats To Cats  [/article]
Then, there is the process of getting her used to you. The main goal is going to be earning her trust. Pay very close attention to any signals of discomfort and try to respond accordingly. If you get close to her and she growls or hisses or her ears go back, step away. This will show her that you are listening to her cues when she asks, and the more she feels like she can trust you to listen when she indicates that she's uncomfortable, the less she will feel like she needs to take drastic measures like physically lashing out.

When she attacked your face, it seemed very much to her like you were suddenly swooping in to attack, and she had no where to escape to, so she tried to fight. You didn't knowingly do anything wrong, it was just an unfortunate confluence of events. But unfortunately it reinforced her fears. To avoid provoking a similar attack in the future, move more slowly when you are in the same room as her, and try to arrange her typical haunts so there are at least 2 exit points available to her if one is blocked if you can.

She's going to have to learn about your movements and habits just as much as you are about her, so it will help her a lot to be as predictable as possible. Do certain things in the same order every day, stick to a routine, etc. This will help her feel much safer when she knows what you will do next. 

A Feliway diffuser for her room is a good option to try. It emits happy cat pheromones and might help her feel more relaxed.

Take note of when she seems relaxed and when she seems tense, and see what these situations have in common. Is she more scared of you when you've just been petting your other cat? Does she seem calmer when her brother is with her, or more agitated? (Cats often feel safer with their buddy, but that's not always the case! Some cats are better behaved when they're finally away from their siblings for once!) Once you notice consistent patterns, try to replicate the calmer environment for her as much as possible, like washing your hands before approaching her, or keeping her sibling in/out of her room.

Find out her favorite treats and flavors, and use those constantly to reinforce your presence = good things. Putting your hand near her is probably too close for comfort for her still right now. I think that's something you're going to have to work up to.

This is a wonderful guide for socializing fearful cats: http://bestfriends.org/resources/socializing-cats-how-socialize-very-shy-or-fearful-cat. Read it very thoroughly and work your way through the process, going back a step if she starts to get increasingly agitated and trying again. Slow and steady is going to be key! It also has a good list of signals of discomfort, so you can read her better and understand when she's afraid of something. This guide keeps a very good balance between expanding the cat's comfort zone while still allowing it to feel as secure as possible. You don't necessarily have to keep her in a cage if she has a spot she likes to be in that you can access easily, but it is an option that makes some cats feel safer. I love using baby food as a treat, because the cat has to lick it off the spoon or your finger rather than being able to grab it and retreat, so they only get the yummy food when they're close to you/in contact with you, and they also have to be more delicate rather than aggressive in order to eat it.

Whether or not you do more work with getting her used to you or getting her used to your other cat first depends on how she feels. If she seems to be responding better to you but still hates your resident cat, then don't even bother trying to introduce them further and just work on getting her used to you. Basically, start with whatever is easier of the two tasks first, and then work on the more challenging one. Trying to do both at the same time could be just too overwhelming, and once she feels more trusting of you, and sees that you trust the other cat, (or, if it's the opposite, and she feels more comfortable with the other cat and then sees that the other cat likes you,) then the second task will be easier.

I agree that a shelter is not a suitable permanent home for a cat. She's definitely going to take a lot of work and patience and not everyone would be up to the challenge, but if you are willing, I would say it's definitely worth a try. Perhaps there's just some random smell or something about your house that she absolutely will always hate no matter what, but I think it's much more likely that whatever is causing her fear (you, the other cat, being in a new place, etc) is something that she can learn not to be afraid of with your help and patience.

 

[d401]

Thank you for the links! I read the Best Friends link, and I think it is something I could do. I am home a lot. I do think that using a cage would be best in her situation. I do have another guest room, so I can isolate her from her sibling. The rescue lady said that in rescue, her brother tended to "push her around a lot." Even though I didn't see that behavior, it could be detrimental to trying to get her to become more trusting. Since he likes being petted a lot, he may try and push her aside so he can get the attention. Hopefully, after I procure the cage, I can get her inside it with a minimum of trouble. the link was also very helpful in discerning cat behaviors. She does do three of the relaxed/curious behaviors with me already, hopefully we can build on those. I feel a lot more hopeful now, and with this plan, I think I can get the people around me to see that she is not a "lost cause," as she did allow herself to be picked up and held and scratched and petted in rescue. So, it's in her somewhere. The Feliway product also seems promising. Thank you very much!

 

[catsknowme]

  Welcome to TCS and bravo for such courage, especially after you have been attacked twice!!! very admirable - you sure do not scare easily

If possible, you might want to check out some episodes of "My Cat From Hell" with Jackson Galaxy. He is an amazing "cat whisperer". There definitely seems to be something in the new environment that is triggering such defensive reaction with that cat.  I hope that whatever you try works - many people would be thinking "euthanasia" and you are asking for new things to try! very brave