Hi! I have a question that's gonna sound lamely repetitive, and it's a bit of a long story so please bare with me. Okay, here it goes.
I've had cats most of my life. All rescues. When we first introduced my 4 yr old Siamese/Calico (now deceased) to a 4 week old PixieBob (also now deceased) it was relatively easy as their was a bathroom large enough and "safe enough" to put the kitten in until she was 2 months old. And then we slowly introduced them, they nearly killed each other a few times, but after three weeks they were suddenly great friends. They rarely had territorial fights over anything including me since they were such different personalities. Eventually even introduced a third cat but that one being my mother's didn't disrupt the dynamic much. The Siamese/Calico passed away at 19 1/2 while I was pregnant with my daughter. Due to some crazy circumstances my folks and my family all are in a 3 bedroom condo now so my daughter grew up with the PixieBob and mom's cat. The PixieBob passed away in November at nearly 20 (yes long lived cats). My daughter (4yrs old) was feeling the emptiness left behind by the missing cat and despite my plan to wait at least 6 months to get a new cat, within a month my mom's cat too started not doing well with suddenly being the only cat. So we began looking for a cat that did well with other cats. We ended up finding a pair (male and female) that had been surrendered 3 times together due to owner's sudden "allergies." We dropped the cats into the house and everything was just instantly fine. These cats were wonderful and made my mom's cat's last few months not so lonely but the loss of the PixieBob proved to be just too much for her in the long run.
So now these two BIG cats have been in the house for about 6 months they are well loved and cared for, my daughter loves on them and they are super patient. Yesterday we took the cats in for their teeth cleaning and on our way out we passed where we'd rescued these two from and there was a 3 month old kitten that was having a hard time getting adopted. It was plain to see she looked very much like our PixieBob and my daughter (and my) heart just broke for this little love. She was great with the other cats in the rescue and had been fostered by the same lady who'd fostered ours when they'd first come to the rescue. So we figured they'd all be fine. We currently have no spare bathrooms or bedrooms to segregate the kitten from the cats. I've explained to my daughter that she has to love on her "first 'kitties'" first and then the new kitten. But the younger (female) who WAS the faster adjusted to my mom's cat is just having pissy fits on and off. The male while okay with the new addition is suddenly timid. The kitten isn't being a grump and is being very submissive to both cats. Not meowing or hissing. She's trying to play with them gently. They all get along for a little bit then the older female gets growly and pissy. :/ It's only been a day but I'm now concerned that she's going to become grumpy like my Siamese/Calico was which would break my heart because she has been a loving cat even if her cuddles are only occasional.
As a last resort last night I ended up locking them ALL in the bedroom with us and my daughter. There was only a little growling but no hissing or anything. The cats normally sleep under the bed because we have a fan that blows on the bed. The kitten ended up sleeping under my chin and the other cats under the bed. I kept a buzz alarm set to check the cats every hour but not one of them even so much as pawed to get out.
The morning routine wasn't the same (despite my efforts) but I know now that would be the case either way because the vet informed me later this morning that both of our older cats hadn't been too thrilled while there and evidently these personality switches flipped AT the vet BEFORE the kitten. So now I'm worried and a fair bit stressed. I am not one to just return a kitten and I want to make this work. I'm pissed at the vet for not informing me of the issues they'd had when we picked up the cats even though I explained that there was a new kitten coming home with us Only IF they were doing well. I was told they were fine, with the exception of the female fighting her IV had gotten her arm bruised up. (Which we came home and for two hours cared for her one on one over.) I'd have left the kitten until Saturday with the rescue had someone at the vet informed me that my cats were severely out of sorts already. But prior to this there was NO indication that these cats would react this way 1) after a trip to the vet and/or 2) to the kitten, so with a big thumbs up from the vet (until the call this morning from their head vet tech) we thought everyone was feeling fine just groggy.
I did also this morning between the broken routine and the call from the vet, as usual to encourage the cats to go downstairs instead of lounge upstairs most of the day, closed the bedrooms/office for an hour. :/ Everything is back open per routine but now that's concerning me.
What can I do to make this bonding go smoother?? We already bought additional toys that were matched to what we already have so that there wouldn't be fighting over that. And we've established with the kitten the handful of "this is ___'s spot" places and she's being good about respecting it.
I've had cats most of my life. All rescues. When we first introduced my 4 yr old Siamese/Calico (now deceased) to a 4 week old PixieBob (also now deceased) it was relatively easy as their was a bathroom large enough and "safe enough" to put the kitten in until she was 2 months old. And then we slowly introduced them, they nearly killed each other a few times, but after three weeks they were suddenly great friends. They rarely had territorial fights over anything including me since they were such different personalities. Eventually even introduced a third cat but that one being my mother's didn't disrupt the dynamic much. The Siamese/Calico passed away at 19 1/2 while I was pregnant with my daughter. Due to some crazy circumstances my folks and my family all are in a 3 bedroom condo now so my daughter grew up with the PixieBob and mom's cat. The PixieBob passed away in November at nearly 20 (yes long lived cats). My daughter (4yrs old) was feeling the emptiness left behind by the missing cat and despite my plan to wait at least 6 months to get a new cat, within a month my mom's cat too started not doing well with suddenly being the only cat. So we began looking for a cat that did well with other cats. We ended up finding a pair (male and female) that had been surrendered 3 times together due to owner's sudden "allergies." We dropped the cats into the house and everything was just instantly fine. These cats were wonderful and made my mom's cat's last few months not so lonely but the loss of the PixieBob proved to be just too much for her in the long run.
So now these two BIG cats have been in the house for about 6 months they are well loved and cared for, my daughter loves on them and they are super patient. Yesterday we took the cats in for their teeth cleaning and on our way out we passed where we'd rescued these two from and there was a 3 month old kitten that was having a hard time getting adopted. It was plain to see she looked very much like our PixieBob and my daughter (and my) heart just broke for this little love. She was great with the other cats in the rescue and had been fostered by the same lady who'd fostered ours when they'd first come to the rescue. So we figured they'd all be fine. We currently have no spare bathrooms or bedrooms to segregate the kitten from the cats. I've explained to my daughter that she has to love on her "first 'kitties'" first and then the new kitten. But the younger (female) who WAS the faster adjusted to my mom's cat is just having pissy fits on and off. The male while okay with the new addition is suddenly timid. The kitten isn't being a grump and is being very submissive to both cats. Not meowing or hissing. She's trying to play with them gently. They all get along for a little bit then the older female gets growly and pissy. :/ It's only been a day but I'm now concerned that she's going to become grumpy like my Siamese/Calico was which would break my heart because she has been a loving cat even if her cuddles are only occasional.
As a last resort last night I ended up locking them ALL in the bedroom with us and my daughter. There was only a little growling but no hissing or anything. The cats normally sleep under the bed because we have a fan that blows on the bed. The kitten ended up sleeping under my chin and the other cats under the bed. I kept a buzz alarm set to check the cats every hour but not one of them even so much as pawed to get out.
The morning routine wasn't the same (despite my efforts) but I know now that would be the case either way because the vet informed me later this morning that both of our older cats hadn't been too thrilled while there and evidently these personality switches flipped AT the vet BEFORE the kitten. So now I'm worried and a fair bit stressed. I am not one to just return a kitten and I want to make this work. I'm pissed at the vet for not informing me of the issues they'd had when we picked up the cats even though I explained that there was a new kitten coming home with us Only IF they were doing well. I was told they were fine, with the exception of the female fighting her IV had gotten her arm bruised up. (Which we came home and for two hours cared for her one on one over.) I'd have left the kitten until Saturday with the rescue had someone at the vet informed me that my cats were severely out of sorts already. But prior to this there was NO indication that these cats would react this way 1) after a trip to the vet and/or 2) to the kitten, so with a big thumbs up from the vet (until the call this morning from their head vet tech) we thought everyone was feeling fine just groggy.
I did also this morning between the broken routine and the call from the vet, as usual to encourage the cats to go downstairs instead of lounge upstairs most of the day, closed the bedrooms/office for an hour. :/ Everything is back open per routine but now that's concerning me.
What can I do to make this bonding go smoother?? We already bought additional toys that were matched to what we already have so that there wouldn't be fighting over that. And we've established with the kitten the handful of "this is ___'s spot" places and she's being good about respecting it.
