New Kitten - Trouble At Home

[ivyandnala]

I got a 4month kitten from a shelter a few days ago and am struggling with introducing him to the house. I have another 2year old cat that I've kept separate from the kitten.

The kitten seems like he didn't get a lot of human interaction at the shelter. The lady at the shelter told me their kittens aren't comfortable around people and that hopefully our other cat would teach him to be comfortable with us. Honestly, I'm a little surprised they don't take the time to interact with kittens when they're younger since that's the best time to socialize them. This place had a lot of cats/kittens though, so I'm guessing they just don't have the time.

Anyway, I'm a little unsure of how to go about this. Kitten has been with us for a few days and is veerryyy slowly getting more courage. He still hides under the bed most of the time and is too scared to play or interact with us too much. As I said though, we are making slow progress.

My resident cat is not happy. I wanted to gauge her reaction so I opened the bedroom door just a touch so she could smell the kitten. She reacted badly. Poofed out, hissing and was basically clawing at the door to try to get in (and I can only assume, kill the kitten). She was very aggressive. Needless to say, I need to take their introduction slow.

I'm not sure what the best way to do this is though. The lady at the shelter seemed to suggest it would be easier to introduce the kitten to the cat and then have him come around to us. On the flip side though, I'm wondering if I should keep the two completely away from each other until the kitten gets comfortable with us? Should I try to do both at the same time (get kitten comfy with us and get cat to accept kitten) or would that be too stressful for the kitten? I've heard smell exchange is good, but since the kitten won't let us get too close to him, I can't exactly rub a towel on him. Should I keep trying to open the door slightly from time to time, to let my cat get used to his smell that way?

This is my first time introducing two resident cats so any help would be appreciated.

 

[ivyandnala]

I also wanted to ask: what kind of timeline is reasonable for all this? I'm trying to be patient, but all the kittens I've had before were much younger when I got them and would adapt almost instantly. It's hard to know how much I should push the little guy.

 

[betsygee]

Congratulations on the new kitty. Personally, I think I'd let the kitten get comfortable in the house and with you, and then work on introductions with the other cat.

The time frame is difficult to say. Some cats will get used to each other in a matter of days or weeks. Others take much longer. This article may give you some ideas: Introducing Cats To Cats

 

[ArtNJ]

Totally normal for a shelter kitten to take a few days. Some people recommend keeping them in a small room such as a bathroom during the adjustment period. That way you can sit on the throne and interact without the kitten going under the bed. This also removes the risk of a very small & scared kitten getting into somewhere dangerous. But kittens are adaptable, getting used to the house and to you will work out with time -- the introduction to the older cat is your real & harder issue.

Personally, I agree with Betsy and think you got terrible advice from the shelter -- i.e. you should definitely get the kitten used to you before worrying about the introduction. That will give your prior cat additional time to smell the kitten through a door, which can only be a help. As far as managing the actual introduction, there are a lot of tips scattered around, including many prior threads on this site.

 

[Summercats]

Just to add, alternate the rooms they are in so they can get used to each other's scent, I would wait a week or so before a personal introduction, probably the first time with the kitten in a carrier.

 

[danteshuman]

Also I would add in to try removing the food for a couple of hours and see if your kitten will eat a small amount of food near you. Where ever their line is of where they feel comfortable eating, accept it. Then try moving the line inch by inch every other day or so. The goal is to get your kitten to eat out of your hand. Also if you have to keep bringing in food a little at a time it helps build that positive association quicker. When you are gone by all means leave your kitten with food so they can free feed.

Lastly whenever I meet a new kitten I greet them with my poor human imitation puurr, soft words & now the slow blink. I would try all of those while you feed your kitten. Hang out in the kitten room ignoring the kitten to, so he can be around you in a non threatening way. I'm not sure I would have adopted a kitten if he was under-socialized. Every kitten I have adopted I held, played with and was loving towards me. I'm hoping your kitten is just shy/scared. If your kitten wasn't socialized/semi-feral he may never be a lap cat.

Now our semi-feral that showed up around 5 months old now can be picked up, petted & demands nightly cuddles. It took him years & lots of work. He learned from the other cats, that part is true! My boys sit for treats. One day I pull out the treat bag & he runs up & sits down waiting for his treat! I never taught him that So even if your boy is only semi-social hang in there and give him time

 

[ivyandnala]

Hi all! I just wanted to give a quick update! I read all your advice and took it to heart. You were right about hanging in there. I'm not sure if I did everything 100% correctly, but the kitten has made a 180! One day (almost out of no where) he just decided he likes us now. It took a lot of patience and gentle interaction. I would wiggle a toy string at him for 5min before he would touch it gently. Now he chases toys with wild abandonment. He went from hissing at us for 3 days to cuddling up to us. He continues to make progress (he cuddled on my lap the other day) and I'm in bliss!

The intro to my old lady is still a work in progress. I think we might have rushed things a little, but the kitten would dart out his sanctuary room as soon as we opened the door. We decided to push the introduction a little because I was getting a heart attack every time he escaped thinking the other cat might kill him. The old lady is now showing him who's boss by being a grumpy cat. She hisses and growls at him and sometimes makes a show of swatting him. She never actually hits him... just raises her paw and sometimes swats the air around him (she's a sweetheart I swear). It's getting better though. Before she didn't want to be in the same room with the kitten. Now they chill in the same room and she starts hissing/growling only when he gets super close (plus no poofed tails in sight). The kitten really wants to be friends with her, so he keeps trying. I think at this point, I'll let them work it out for the most part. I'll still separate them at night and I'll continue to feed them together and to play with them together (together but separate, my husband takes one and I take the other). I'm hoping in a week or two all will be well.

Thanks again for all the advice!!

 

[danteshuman]

I'm so glad he is feeling more confident & you are getting cuddles from him What your elderly cat is doing is normal ... and it sounds like she is being gentle about it. We had one cat we nicknamed 'the Godfather' because he was 14 or so and demanded the kittens behave respectfully. He would bop them on the head all the time. He acted like he hated them until they hit around 4-6 months old then he started tolerating them. After a while he picked one of the kittens and started teaching her everything. They became best buds and she became the top cat after he died.

 

[betsygee]

"The Godfather"! Love it. Keep us updated, I ivyandnala on how you're all doing.

 

[ivyandnala]

Another update! My cats are now buddies after only a week. The new kitten has imprinted on my older cat and follows her around a lot (this gets annoying for her sometimes). Overall though, they're playing together and having a great time. I'm happy I got the kitten since my cat is 2years and still has a lot of energy. The kitten is pretty low energy by kitten standards so they get along wonderfully during play time. The other night they even cuddled together for a few minutes. My cat has become somewhat less affectionate with me, but this is because every time she cuddles up to me she starts to meow/purr and the kitten hears her and comes running. I'm sure the kitten will get over this soon (since he's already 5months) and my girl will have a little more alone time. Something that really helped this whole thing is that we have a doggy door that goes to our closed-in balcony. The cat can go through, but the kitten is too small/light. This is perfect since my cat has somewhere she can go to decompress. All is well at home now .

I'm so glad he is feeling more confident & you are getting cuddles from him What your elderly cat is doing is normal ... and it sounds like she is being gentle about it. We had one cat we nicknamed 'the Godfather' because he was 14 or so and demanded the kittens behave respectfully. He would bop them on the head all the time. He acted like he hated them until they hit around 4-6 months old then he started tolerating them. After a while he picked one of the kittens and started teaching her everything. They became best buds and she became the top cat after he died.

This is an amazing story! RIP Godfather. You've taught the kitties well.