New kitten - strange behavior with new family

[rockkitten]

Hey folks, 

this is my first post here, I am hoping to be enlighten on the apparently odd behavior of my new kitten.

We got her a couple of weeks ago from a old lady who couldn't take care anymore. She is about 5 months old and used to live with another younger male kitten( who is now with my in laws). Apparently they were very close, like for sleeping playing  together etc.

She is very cuddly, of the kind that starts purring only by touching.  Here begins the problem: she never comes close to be petted, we always need to grab her and place her on our laps and if she is on the mood there she stays for even hours purring and easily shows her belly to be petted (this is where she purrs louder and get to sleep tight). 

But as I said: she never comes to us, so if she is not on the mood she just goes away and starts hiding and avoiding us for even one or two days, so this is the first problem

Other situation is; she's never with us on our the living room, she is just around with us on the kitchen. Even if I take her to the couch and start petting her she always run back away to the kitchen. We needed to move her bed there so she had a warm place to sleep. When we are on the kitchen she is always around, rubbing our legs and doing cat stuff.

So my questions are:

1. Is this a normal behavior of her having limits to go into my house even if I never set this bound?

2. What about this behavior of never looking for us for cuddling even she obviously joining it a lot?

3. Should we stop taking her to out laps? May this be causing her to hide some times.

I am inclined to believe these behaviors is related to her being on a new home and being the only cat now. Is there any way I can revert this situation and make she gets around the family common areas and stop hiding?

  Thnks folks

 

[mollyblue]

I think this is a little from column A, a little from column B kind of question.

The kitten obvioulsly feels comfortable in the kitchen and has made that her territory.  I have never had a cat that was not curious about their surroundings, and she should venture out to explore everything... do you have other pets, or young children, or something that may be making her feel uncomfortable or scared about the other parts of the home?  How long has she been with you there?

Cats can be very different in the comfort levels with being held, vs. being petted.  I have a former stray/feral that follows you like a shadow, and she loves being petted, but she cannot stand to be picked up, and she will cry like a baby everytime.  As soon as you release her, she runs away into hiding, but within minutes, she is back at your side.  Buttercup will not sit on your lap, but she will crawl up as close beside your lap as she can get.  I think a large number of cats do not like to be held (confined).  My rule with cats is and always has been that if I am going to pet them, it will be on my terms. That means, yes, I will pick them, whether they like it or not.  Usually I only hold them for a very short time - and they learn that it will be fine and that time then increases.  Now whether they ever learn to truly enjoy it?  Depends on the individual cat.

Purring can be a sign of contentment, but it can also be an indicator that the cat is stressed.  Some cats even calm themselves when they are in pain by purring.  Sometimes you have to watch the body language and expressions to gauge what is really going on.

Cats are funny creatures.  Some like to be up high (on a cat tower, the back of the couch, etc.), some like to be hidden and would prefer a box or a carrier).   Some cats can be social and demanding from the whole family, but other cats just want one or two people they can count on for food and care, and those people get to pet them, but the cat will hide from everyone else.  Just spend a little time getting to know your cat, and then respond to her needs as you figure them out.  If she likes to be hidden, then make her a hiding space in the rooms where you spend the most time.  If shes a climber, then you need to make her a vertical space.  Like with any new relationship, even when you falli in love at first sight, sometimes it takes a while to learn to  live together. 

Since the kitty is new though, the best advice is to give it a little time.  Make time spent in other rooms enjoyable and the cat should venture out.  Treats, playtimes, a perch by the widow to look out.

 

[rockkitten]

She's been with us three weeks now. On the first week she came to the entrance of the living room (near the kitchen) and used to lay on a small rug on that place when we were all on the living room. During the morning sometimes we could find here there when we woke up, but never getting to far from the kitchen. After some time not even that she does anymore. I have a small daughter, maybe she has threatened the kitten some way when we were not seeing it, so she is now afraid of leaving the kitchen and backyard.

Today she was on the kitchen lying down observing us while we all were on the living room. I took her to the couch and she immediately left and hid somewhere on the backyard.  The only way she comes to the living room and stay next to us is when she want food.

Related to petting her vs. holding her: I usually pet her on my lap and there she stays for a long time (when it is done on the kitchen or in the backyard). For this reason I think she may have no problem to be held and I don't think also her purring is from being scared. For instance: today while my wife was cooking she was near my legs so I took her and put her on my lap (nothing would prevent her for leaving) she immediately started to purr and after a few minutes she laid on her back showing her belly. I know this is not something very normal for cats to do, but there she stayed with me petting her belly while she slept for almost one hour. For this reason I don't see that she is afraid of us or do not like petting or being held, she just does not come for us which make difficult to know if it is the right time to get closer.

Maybe these two situations will get better with time.

About she getting hid for long periods we started a new strategy today: when she does it we make her show her self offering some treats. After we done that she stayed around.

Thanks for your opinion. Maybe patience will be the key. 

 

[mollyblue]

I think it will get better.  Has your young daughter been around cats before?  If the cat has never been around children before, then it could be intimidating or perhaps your daughter just pets the kitty in a way the kitty doesn't like (like maybe patting her on head like you would a dog instead of stroking her, or maybe kitty got her tail stepped on or something.  Could really be any number of things.  I am sure in time kitty will come around.  In the mean time, do you have a wand type toy your daughter can play with the kitten with?