New Kitten Is Terrified

[Hya]

Hello everyone!

Yesterday me and my by got a 3 months old birman kitten, but he's terrified. He stays hidden most of the time, barely ate anything and hisses at us when we try to approach.
At first I made the mistake of not confining him to a room, but eventually I moved the litter box (which is still unused), food, water and toys close to his hiding place.
Last night he joined us on the sofa for a bit, but refused any other kind of interaction and after he got back to the hiding spot, he spent all night meowing. In the morning he hissed everytime he saw us and seemed even more terrified. We tried to let him approach us and not scare him away, but he's still extremelly scared.
He seemes to be very gentle in spite of this. The couple of times we had to pick him up he didn't scratch or bite or try to run.

I'm worried because I've had more kittens before (at my parents' house) but none of them seemed so skittish. In a couple of hours at most they would get adjusted to the new place and have no problem interacting with the people around. However, the previous kittens were much smaller rescued strays, while the one I've got now comes from a breeder.

Do you have any suggestion for what we could do? Should we se send him back to his previous owner (and cat sliblings) if he won't adjust in the next couple of days? I don't want him to feel tormented, just because we wanted a cat.

 

[micknsnicks2mom]

hi and welcome to TCS! and congratulations on the new addition to your family!

it's not unusual for a new cat, especially a young kitten, to react like this when arriving at his new furever home. right now his whole world has been turned upside down, but with your love and your help and care i'm sure your boy will be feeling more comfortable soon enough.

here at TCS, we have members with experience with all things cat related. we're here for you, with tips, info, and support! i'm sure others will be along shortly to reply too!

you're doing well so far -- confining your new boy to one room is not as overwhelming for him, providing his litter box and food/water/toys close to his chosen hiding place. and letting your boy come to you is very good too.

some other things you can do is to spend time in his 'safe' room (comfort zone) quietly reading out loud, you could try laying on the floor very still and with some dry cat food or cat treats near you and set on you and then let him investigate when he feels ready to. you might try setting a box or storage bin on it's side with a blanket or a towel(s) laid out in it, possibly near his hiding place -- so he has a comfortable option, should he decide to try it.

a 'cuddle buddy' might be comforting to your boy. a small stuffed toy or stuffed animal, or even a sock filled with (dry, not cooked) rice grains and heated slightly in the microwave for 5 or 10 seconds (be very careful to make sure it's not too hot, test it before placing near kitty). sometimes an old style alarm clock can be comforting (make sure the alarm is turned off though!), the kind that you hear the tick-tock from it -- that can be similar to his momma cat's heart beat.

your boy will start becoming familiar with all the new sounds and activities in his new home. having a basic routine can be very helpful for a cat. knowing when he can expect meals, when you'll be home vs when you're out (like at work, or other), and times that he'll be able to have interactive playing with you as well as snuggle times -- these will help your boy to settle in.

here are some articles here at TCS, which can be helpful. there's a lot of really good info in these articles. the second article is important, it talks about things in the home which cats/kittens can get into which can harm them, or be a danger to them --

How To Help A New Cat Adjust To Your Home

How To Make Your Home And Garden Safe For Your Cat
https://thecatsite.com/ams/how-to-make-your-home-and-garden-safe-for-your-cat.22410/
sending 's......

 

[ArtNJ]

You did do one thing a bit wrong though. You shouldn't pick up a cat that is terrified of you -- imagine how flipping scary *that* is. You work on getting past the terror first. Like micknsnicks2mom said, you get down on their level, you use treats, you use patience, you let them come to you.

I've only adopted one home-raised kitten myself so I can't comment on how unusual this is. It is certainly perfectly normal for kittens adopted from a shelter -- I've done that a bunch of times and it always starts like this.

 

[Elfilou]

I have very little to add to the above. Though I do wanna ask, what is his chosen hiding spot? It's hard to interact with a new cat when they are, say, under a couch or bed.

When I brought my cat home I brought her in in my office, where I spent some hours a day at the computer. This was perfect for me. There were no beds or couches to hide under, so I got a little hidey hole thing. This can easily be made by just getting a cardboard box, cutting out a hole and stuffing with a blanket.

 

[ArtNJ]

I always use a bathroom for the adjustment period. Really small room, no hiding spot, built in seat for humans, and easy clean up for accidents while they adjust to the litterbox. Only problem is your not getting down on the floor, but can't have everything, and I don't keep the door closed for very long in any event. Its more just their safe spot for a few days.

 

[Hya]

Thank you so much for your replies.

ArtNJ, you are right. I won't try to pick him up anymore. At first I picked him to show him where the litter box is and in hopes that some pats could calm him down (as it happened with my previous cats).

He hid behind the sofa at first and eventually made his way up to the bathroom (which I'm currently using as the accomodation room). I tried to give him some pillows and a box, but he didn't seem too interested. He just hid behind the toilet instead.

I will try making him a warm snuggle buddy when I return from work, maybe that will help. Also, he had the house all for himself for a couple of hours so maybe the lack of noise calmed him down a bit.

He was brought from a breeder and I really didn't expect him to be so shy and scaredly. Thought he would be much friendlier than a stray. Sadly, shelters aren't really a thing in my country, it's just random good people taking in strays they find on the street.

Anyway, should I try getting some Feliway if he won't be better in the next couple of days? I'll keep updating the thread with his progress. Thank you so much guys! <3

 

[Hya]

So, I got back from work. He peed all over the sofa while I was gone.
He's still behind the toilet and meowing like crazy. Can't get close though, as he would start hissing. Still, he's continously meowing and I don't know what to do about it.

Got him some new treats, but he doesn't seem intrested in them (or the toys, or the cat bed) He didn't eat or drink anything at all, all day today. I'm really worried.

 

[micknsnicks2mom]

it's important for your boy to eat, and you're right to be concerned. you might try some jar baby food, stage 1 gerber or beechnut brand, meat kind (chicken and gravy, turkey and gravy, ham and gravy) -- the kind that's pureed smooth and it's only ingredients are meat, water, and some have a little cornstarch in them. many cats love jar baby food. i'd put some in a dish and mix a little water into it. it's kind of thick so the water will make it less so, and the water will be good for your little boy -- since he hasn't been drinking water.

another option might be either kitten milk replacement (i *think* your boy is still young enough that he'd be wanting it), or if you can find some fresh or canned goat's milk.

do you know what he was eating at the breeder's?

@talkingpeanut , StefanZ -- may i ask for your expertise with this 3 month old kitten, newly adopted, who isn't eating yet in his new home?

as for the cat urine on your couch, i'm not sure that's going to be 'save-able'. i'm not sure that even using an enzymatic cleaner specifically for cat (/pet) urine, that your couch won't still have some slight urine smell to it. and if something smells like urine, then a cat will think, 'if it smells like urine, then this must be an okay place to urinate'.

now this isn't so with all breeders, but some (and i'm emphasizing some) breeders don't do well with socializing their cats/kittens. helping an unsocialized or not ideally socialized young kitten to become comfortably socialized can be a wonderful experience. you develop a strong, even life long bond with such a cat/kitten. time and patience is needed. we have many members here who have experience with this. @Mamanyt1953 , Columbine , might i ask for your experience with unsocialized kittens, for the OP (original poster) who has adopted a 3 month old Birman kitten?

hang in there, we're here to help you!



edited to add: i'm going to suggest that if your boy isn't eating, hasn't eaten anything in close to 3 days, it's then time to see the veterinarian. cats can develop hepatic lipidosis, 'fatty liver disease', if they don't eat/don't eat enough in (depending on their age and physical condition) as little as about 3 days. this would be a very serious illness, and could be fatal.

 

[StefanZ]

Breeder, eh? Some breeders have many cats. Resulting they dont have the cats and kittens as home family cats, but they do have them in catteries, ie cages... Such kittens tends to be unsocialized. No wonder.
And thus, some BYBs take consequences of this, and sell them at 6 weeks. Not because its good, but because this way they will be properly socialized with their furever homes....

So you shall essentially work with him as a shy, rescued cat. What you did so far and got advices for. Calm relaxing music. Perhaps an Feliway adapter...
The carrying at chest isnt always bad, but the trick is to carry them at the chest, wrapped in a burrito, perhaps a full hour. crooning and talking sweetly... Sort of a very gentle "breaking in of a horse"...
This is not everyone cup of tea, but works often, esp with kittens.

 

[Columbine]

I agree with StefanZ - it sounds like this little guy is totally unsocialied He may always be jumpy around strangers, but with time and patience he should learn to relax and settle with you (and anyone who lives with you).

Definitely try Feliway - it can make a real difference in this kind of situation, and pick a 'safe' room for the kitten. Set this room up to be ultra safe for him, and block off gaps behind bookshelves etc so he can't try to hide and get stuck (or freak you out because you can't find him). As he's peed on your sofa (which was I'm sure was just from anxiety/insecurity), I'd consider covering any soft furnishings with plastic sheets, tarps or similar, or remove them altogether. Give him easily washable things to snuggle on instead, like old fleece blankets, vetbed or other machine washable cat beds. Make sure he has a litterbox, food, water, and some suitable scratching furniture (cat posts/trees and/or cardboard scratchers), and maybe a couple of kitten-safe toys.

Spend as much time in his room with him as you can, just sitting quietly or reading aloud softly (this will help him get used to the sound of your voice). Let him come to you - he will, when he's ready. Make sure to take extra yummy food in with you reach time you go to see him - this will help him connect you with good things. Don't worry if he won't eat with you around at first - that's quite normal with unsocialised cats. He will find his confidence and trust you. Once he WILL eat with you around, you can gradually use extra yummy food or treats to get him eating close and closer to you (pure meat baby food is often irresistible to cats. Extra stinky fish is usually another winner). Eventually, he'll eat from your hand or right next to you (some cats, like my girl, just don't like hand feeding). As he gains confidence with you, you can start to introduce interactive play - another fantastic way to build a bond with your kitty

These articles may help, too:-
Six Surefire Strategies To Reduce Stress In Cats
How To Get A Cat To Come Out Of Hiding?
16 Top Cat Experts Share Tips For Dealing With Timid Cats
10 Must-know Tips For Happy Living With A Shy Cat
Bringing Home A New Cat - The Complete Guide
The Litterbox: What Every Cat Owner Needs To Know
How to remove cat urine - the complete guide | The Cat Site

 

[Hya]

Thank you again for your replies!

We actually made some progress last night. I think he's a really sweet but extremelly shy cat.

I managed to convince him to eat and drink, but he seems to only like dry food. He refuses to eat from the cat bowl or from a food pile and eats only if he is given one piece of dry food at a time. It took a while to feed him, but I think this might be a good bonding process.

After a lot of sweet talking, he started approaching us, played a bit and even asked for pats (and I heard some small purrs!).
However, he still hisses everytime we enter the room and would calm down only if we get down to his level and sweet talk.

Before leaving for work today, I left the door to the living room open again. The sofa is already peed on, let's just hope the carpet is safe . I left some trails of dry food around, in hopes that would make him more willing to explore while we are gone. Also, today I ordered online some Feliway, so hopefully that will help.

I'm not sure in what conditions he lived at the breeder. One of my friends (who is very experienced with cats) said that it's much easier for an outside cat or a friendly stray kitten to adapt to a new apartment, because they've already seen a lot, while cats that lived in an apartment all their life, might be overwhelmed by the sudden change.

 

[Columbine]

What wonderful progress Do make sure to clean the sofa with an enzymatic clean though - otherwise the lingering scent will draw your kitten back there time and again. It's like there's a little flag on it saying 'please pee here'

I've had kittens from breeders a few times (as well as lots of cats from the streets), and have never had the kinds of issues you're having. It really does sound like a socialization issue, sadly At least, at just 12 weeks old, it shouldn't take too much to overcome it.

One tip if you want him to eat wet food (though I might wait until he's a little more settled and confident first) - take some of his kibble, put it in a plastic baggie, and bash it to crumbs with a rolling pin Sprinkle the crumbs over some wet food. That should at least get him to try it, and you can gradually reduce the amount of kibble topping over time.

 

[danteshuman]

The only tips I would add over what other people mentioned is doing a fake puuurrr and avoiding eye contact (cats view it as aggression.) Or do the slow blink. Where you have your eyes open, close them for a second or three, then repeat a couple of times. It is cat speak for I love you/I trust you/I mean you no harm.

 

[di and bob]

Cats absolutely hate change. and he is a baby and absolutely terrified. It may take a while before he gets more comfortable, but he will. The meowing is because he misses his mama and siblings horribly. Just be there and offer treats, he will come around. No sudden moves and no loud noises for a while. He needs to be allowed to hide to get used to all this change. Cats have different personalities, he obviously isn't as socialized as the kittens you had before. Get several enzyme cleaners, some work better than others. I use them and they take away all smell and stain. Make sure his litter box is close and he can see it, a smaller room would be better at first, or at least until you can pick him up and put him in it after meals. In a month he will be a changed kitten, please come to us if you have more problems!

 

[micknsnicks2mom]

that's really great news, that your boy is starting to eat now and even playing a bit!!

 

[Hya]

I'm back with some great updates.

The kitten seems to be adapting to the new place, slow but steady. He got out of his safe room and went to explore the rest of the apartment. He's eating well now and using the litter box properly .

He still is very skittish and any weird sounds or small change of scenery make him go into hiding (I don't know how I'm going to use the vacuum anymore). However, he seems to be begging for attention whenever me or my bf are around and he doesn't stop meowing untill he gets pats or play time. I suspect he might be lonely during the day, as for about 8 hours there's nobody at home.

The Feliway might have helped. A couple of hours after we got it, the kitty actually started being a bit more daring.

Finally, we decided to call him Spooky. Thank you so much for your help and advice guys, it really helped!

 

[micknsnicks2mom]

awww, such a good and brave little boy! Spooky, a very nice name!

you might try leaving some soft, soothing music on (and at a (very) low volume) for your boy while you're at work.

there are also dvd's made specifically for cats, to entertain them, some of which will 'loop' -- play over and over again.