New feral Mommy here!

[gafrisha]

Hi everyone

I've read so many of these threads about how to socialize your feral. THANK YOU to everyone who's posted. I've learned so much reading everything.

My boyfriend and I adopted a feral maine-coon kitten in June. He is now 9 months (and HUGE!). Though I had grown up with cats my whole life, I had never come into contact with a feral cat. All we wanted was a new little brother for our 3 year old maine-coon that we adopted 2 years ago. When we brought Miles (feral kitten) home, he immediately latched onto Cody (3 year old cat) and they've been best friends ever since. They cuddle, clean each other, and are constantly together.

However, my kitten is still very hesitant towards my boyfriend and I. I know it's a slow process, but sometimes I feel like we're going nowhere. I was totally surprised when I read all of the "NO EYE CONTACT!" advice on here, because it totally makes sense. When Miles eats treats out of my hands, he'll look up after a few and when he makes eye contact runs away. He's definitely more comfortable with my boyfriend, who is with him 7 days a week.

Sorry this is getting long winded, but basically the only time Miles will come up to me is when we're eating, or when Cody is sitting next to me. Any more ideas on how I can get him more comfortable around us? When he's really tired he'll sleep on the couch about 2 feet away from my boyfriend. As for me? He runs away if I even walk near him. I just need some help and I feel like this board will be able to help me tremendously.

I love him so much and it just breaks my heart when he runs away

 

[krz]

It is so hard not to pick them up and cuddle them especially when they are so darn cute. My advice would be just to take it slow and let him come to you.

You could try playing with Cody and see if he wants to join in. The Da Bird or any toy with a wand is a great ice breaker. And if he loves Cody and sees that Cody is comfortable around you, he will feel comfortable around you too.

Good luck and keep posting and pictures too please!

 

[gafrisha]

Thanks! I also forgot to mention, he pulls out clumps of hair from his tail. I called the vet after finding big chunks of his hair all over the apartment and he said it's probably from anxiety. Both my vet and myself would rather not put him on anxiety medication. He doesn't have any skin/flea problems, so we really don't know what else could be causing it besides anxiety.

Here's an album I made of my two furry babies. If there's one thing Miles loves more than his older brother, it's his bed!

http://www5.snapfish.com/thumbnailsh...NAME=snapfish/

You can really see what I mean about his tail in the picture with the Christmas tree. Has anyone else had this problem?

 

[StefanZ]

You could try with a Feliway diffuser, it should help both against this anxiety /feeling of stress he seems to have, and also for the shyness for you.

Search here on the forum about Feliway. It may very well do the trick here!


Welcome to the Forums,

and good luck!

 

[killerapple]

I clicked the link but it asked me to log on so I couldn't see the pics - sorry!!

I second Feliway for helping with stress relief. You can get a Feliway diffuser very cheap on Amazon (compared to store prices!)

Sounds like your new kitty is doing well adjusting to his new life, but just a little unsure of you still. It helps to be as low as possible - walking towards him will be very scary because of how much bigger/taller you are. If he's coming up to you on the couch and eating treats from your hand, that is great!!!!!

He just needs time to get used to you. Others will give you advice - I can't give a lot since I'm still learning myself.

Good luck to you and thank you for giving this kitty a great home!!!!

 

[momofmany]

Do you have any idea how old he was when he was pulled from the feral colony? The reason I ask, is that if a kitten is pulled young enough to be socialized, any skittish behavior as they get older is probably attributed to their personality, not the fact that they were born feral. I live with 10 feral born cats. You can't tell by the way most of them act that they were born that way. The most "feral-like" behavior in my group is a cat that I handled from the time he was a week old and started intensive socialization when he was 5 weeks old. He's skittish as an adult, but that's his personality. Another feral cat rescued at 18 months old is far more sociable than he is. Be careful of the label, as some people get false impressions of that term.

But regardless of feral or just skittish, you can use similar approaches for him. You've already read about eye contact - look away or very slowly blink your eyes at him.

Never tower over him. While in a room with him, sit on the floor and bring yourself to his level. Cats are threatened by things that are higher than they are (which is why cats often flee when someone walks into a room).

If he likes treats, feed him those on clothes that you have worn and smell like you. Give him your scent during his happy moments.

Don't force yourself on him. If he is best buddies with your other cat, play with that cat and let him join in when he wants to. Many cats often come around simply because their cat friends are close to humans.

 

[ldg]

What a wonderful thing to adopt this boy!

The pulling clumps of hair out of his tail could be due to allergies, though most likely it is a nervious behavior. I would recommend trying Feliway and Bach's Rescue Remedy.

http://www.bachflower.com/Pets.htm