New Cat

[brlea]

Okay so I just got a cat, her name is Tasha. She is 1 and a half year old and she is in heat at the moment. I got her yesterday. She used to live with her cat parents and sister but her human parents werent the most affectionate so I offered to adopt her. The problem now is that I am feeling really anxious and I dont know what to do. She is in heat and she is generally really clingy too ( which is great ). Idky my anxiety is getting the best of me. I got her yesterday after 9 pm and now its almost 1 am and she hasnt eaten any of her kibble, maybe she tasted it ( its the same brand and flavour food she used to eat). The guilt of having her taken away from her family is making me feel really bad especially because she is in heat too for the first time ever. Idk if she is not eating because she is in heat or because she is sad about leaving her parents. She is beautiful and I love her already ( I tend to get attached to animals really quickly). I cant stop overthinking about this and its really eating me alive. Idk if i should give her space to adjust to her new home. Lets remember she is in heat and she wants alot of love and affection which I am giving her.
There is one more problem to this as well, the timing of me getting her isnt the best but I have been looking for a cat for 1 year so I offered to have her as soon as the opportunity arose. The other problem is that I will be soon ( not confirm though, might take a gap year) will be leaving for college in at best 4 months and so will my sister ( not confirm as well, she might be taking a gap year too). If we both leave then my mother ( who doesnt want to take care of tasha) will be left for taking care of her or I could give her to my boyfriend ( which isnt confirm from his end). Its all just very confusing. Not to mention I am getting her neutered in 3 days so thats that. I am just scared and very anxious. I have only slept for 2 hours today because she woke up me up twice and started meowing so I started petting her and havent been able to sleep since ( its been 4 hours)
Can someone please be brutally honest and tell me what to do or what i am doing wrong please?

 

[FeebysOwner]

Hi and welcome to TCS, even though I am sorry for the reason you came here. I think you acted before getting some things ironed out, such as if your BF is willing to take Sasha if you and your sister both leave for college. That makes a world of difference whether or not he is willing. There stands a chance that your mother may change her mind over the coming months and decide she is willing to care for her - maybe. There might be a chance to take Sasha with you to college, depending on where you are going and what your living accommodations will be.

Nonetheless, any/all cats who move to a new home will be apprehensive and a bit unsettled until they get used to their new caretaker and their new home. So, her behavior is not surprising. She will also benefit from being spayed too, so I am glad you already have plans for that. Maybe there are some helpful tips in these TCS articles.
How To Help A New Cat Adjust To Your Home - TheCatSite
16 Top Cat Experts Share Tips For Dealing With Timid Cats - TheCatSite

 

[amethyst]

It takes cats time to settle in to a new home, like a few days to a week or more, not just a few hours. Did she know you before you got her? Since you say they weren't affectionate with her where they people you know and so you already had a bond with the cat? If not the fact that you are scared is just going to make her even more scared. New home with a new person that is giving off the feelings that everything is not ok. Although cats are predators they are also prey, so they are going to instinctively be cautious of new places so it's not uncommon for them to not eat much or in some cases even poop in the the first day or so in a new home.

Also if you got her at 9pm it's possible she just isn't hungry yet, a lot of cats graze and many people only feed their cats a couple times a day, so she may not be use to eating until morning. It's also not uncommon for new cats to wait until the human is gone out of the room before eating, but also since she is in heat that could be distracting her. If she is a year and a half it's very unlikely this is her first heat though. Cats normally have their first heat around 6 months (some as young as 4 months), but it is very possible the previous heats where "silent heats" and the previous owners simply didn't notice if they weren't paying close attention to her. Not all cats are overly loud and obvious when in heat every time, but being spring can increase the urge to mate which would explain her being more obvious now.

I really do think you rushed into getting the cat without any thought for the cat though. Even though you may have wanted a cat for a year it doesn't sound like you put any actual thought or planning in past actually getting a cat. I'm guessing you didn't just decided last night you were going to go to college, so you already knew you had plans to leave in a few months (or in a year) it wasn't something unexpected. That would be fine and I could understand if it was something your family or bf wanted and had already planned and agreed to care for, but it doesn't sound like the case. I would definitely get that straightened out right away. If you can't get things figured out though, you many need to consider giving her back if they want her back, or rehoming her to someone that can care for her long term.

Maybe I am misunderstand and just don't have all the info I hope. How against caring for a cat is your mom? did she even agree with you getting a cat knowing you would possibly be leaving in a few months? Is it more just she doesn't want to care for a cat because she isn't use to having pets, or already has her hands full with her own pets, but might warm up to the idea to another as she gets to know her? or more a situation of she doesn't like cats or animals and could ignore and neglect the cat if left with her? As well as will you be leaving far away for college? Or more a situation of living on campus or something during the week but coming home every weekend and on school breaks so she will just be taking care of it during the week? If you are going far away where you will be living on or near campus and not coming home it might be worth looking into housing that allows you to have a cat. If that doesn't work how likely is it for your bf to take her to his house? As well as what is the plan after college? She is still young and likely has many more years ahead of her. I don't actually need answers to all that, just things you need to think about.

 

[brlea]

It takes cats time to settle in to a new home, like a few days to a week or more, not just a few hours. Did she know you before you got her? Since you say they weren't affectionate with her where they people you know and so you already had a bond with the cat? If not the fact that you are scared is just going to make her even more scared. New home with a new person that is giving off the feelings that everything is not ok. Although cats are predators they are also prey, so they are going to instinctively be cautious of new places so it's not uncommon for them to not eat much or in some cases even poop in the the first day or so in a new home.

Also if you got her at 9pm it's possible she just isn't hungry yet, a lot of cats graze and many people only feed their cats a couple times a day, so she may not be use to eating until morning. It's also not uncommon for new cats to wait until the human is gone out of the room before eating, but also since she is in heat that could be distracting her. If she is a year and a half it's very unlikely this is her first heat though. Cats normally have their first heat around 6 months (some as young as 4 months), but it is very possible the previous heats where "silent heats" and the previous owners simply didn't notice if they weren't paying close attention to her. Not all cats are overly loud and obvious when in heat every time, but being spring can increase the urge to mate which would explain her being more obvious now.

I really do think you rushed into getting the cat without any thought for the cat though. Even though you may have wanted a cat for a year it doesn't sound like you put any actual thought or planning in past actually getting a cat. I'm guessing you didn't just decided last night you were going to go to college, so you already knew you had plans to leave in a few months (or in a year) it wasn't something unexpected. That would be fine and I could understand if it was something your family or bf wanted and had already planned and agreed to care for, but it doesn't sound like the case. I would definitely get that straightened out right away. If you can't get things figured out though, you many need to consider giving her back if they want her back, or rehoming her to someone that can care for her long term.

Maybe I am misunderstand and just don't have all the info I hope. How against caring for a cat is your mom? did she even agree with you getting a cat knowing you would possibly be leaving in a few months? Is it more just she doesn't want to care for a cat because she isn't use to having pets, or already has her hands full with her own pets, but might warm up to the idea to another as she gets to know her? or more a situation of she doesn't like cats or animals and could ignore and neglect the cat if left with her? As well as will you be leaving far away for college? Or more a situation of living on campus or something during the week but coming home every weekend and on school breaks so she will just be taking care of it during the week? If you are going far away where you will be living on or near campus and not coming home it might be worth looking into housing that allows you to have a cat. If that doesn't work how likely is it for your bf to take her to his house? As well as what is the plan after college? She is still young and likely has many more years ahead of her. I don't actually need answers to all that, just things you need to think about.

I totally get your concerns. Ill try my hardest to explain things in a bit more detail this time which i didnt do the first time because i wrote that all in a hurry to get things out of my mind. ( English isnt my first or second language so I am really sorry if I am not able to phrase some things right )
Starting with my mother, she loves cat and we used to have 2 cats not so long ago ( about 4 years ago, we had cats for a long period of time) which she adored and took care of without any problem although we were always here. She isnt used to taking care of cats anymore. I am pretty sure she will get used to Tasha as Tasha is the most calmest and sweet cat. My mother has to warm up to having a cat again as well. She likes Tasha but the only major issue she has is that Tasha is a triple coat persian cat and has a lot of hair. My father isnt here to help her but he will be by the time we go to college so I am certain Tasha wont be a problem. I do have my boyfriend as he offered to take Tasha once we go to college ( which will be in a different city). My boyfriend will be moving to that same city with me so it should be fine for Tasha and Tasha happens to love my boyfriend ( my boyfriend has met Tasha basically every single day since she was born ). Tasha is a very affectionate cat, she loves cuddling and getting pets, not to mention she is so so adorable.
I would agree that the timing of getting Tasha is definitely not the best and i should have figured things out before getting her but i just couldnt resist, its my stubbornness that got me into it but that doesnt mean Tasha wont be getting the best treatment ever.
Also i made a mistake in my last thread, I meant to say that i got Tasha at 9 pm and she hasnt eaten for more than 12 hours ( it was 1 pm not am, sorry about that )
The owner told me she hasnt been in heat ever and that this is her first time so i cant say anything about this.
No, i didnt use to meet her before adopting her but my boyfriend did and thats why i know that the owners werent affectionate towards her. Maybe i didnt phrase myself right, I am not scared of this i am just maybe a bit too worried. Good news though she is potty trained and has peed and pooped. ( Random fact she is in front of my monitor screen rn and is really fascinated by the sounds my keyboard is making)
UPDATE ON TASHA: Since i have gotten her, she has eaten 2 treats and a bit of boiled chicken. She refuses to eat her kibble. Its been 30 hours since i have had her. I am still very worried. She has an appointment on Sunday ( in about 2 days ). She is trusting us a bit but i am not too sure about that as she could just be very affectionate and comfortable with us because she is in heat.
My mother isnt really against i would say and she doesnt have any pets of her own. Tasha is our only pet.
She was on edge about it. I know this isnt convincing enough but I have a really strong feeling she will come around to it. She will definitely get used to Tasha and will take care of her and my father will be the affectionate one and will show her love so its a good balance in my opinion. Our first cat ever, She ( my mother) was really against the idea of pets at the times but she warmed up to it and even let me keep a puppy for quite some time ( 3 months ) until we found him a home which is huge because of our religious beliefs.
I will be moving to a different city, Tasha most likely will stay here with my parents. I will come visit every month most likely.
I will be living on campus and if my boyfriend moves to that city ( which he will a month or 2 after i do) we can try bringing Tasha to that city often unless she gets too disturb then she will stay here with my parents.
As for the plan after college, I will bring Tasha to live with me once i am done with college.
Also can someone please help with the food situation, should i let her be and come around to eating it whenever she wants or should i force somehow or keep giving her creamy treats which she likes alot ( in her old home, they had free choice feeding going on which is what i have done here too )
Also a bit confused about when she meows, should i always go check up on her or should i let her be? Till now i have checked up on her everytime except 2 3 times and one time she just got quiet on her own and one time she meowed louder so i went to check on her. Not too sure what to do about this.
Should i get her hair trimmed this sunday as well or will that make her not trust me somehow? ( i know i am confused, i am trying really hard to understand these things, i have never had to be with a cat while she was on heat and never gotten my pets hair trim as they were always in control just by grooming )
The vet recommended us to have Tasha get a contraceptive injection instead of getting spayed because we have a lot coming up in the few days ( religious festival and house renovation ) so it wouldnt be a good time to get her spayed as the aftercare is very important and we wouldnt be able to carry it out and Tasha will feel uneasy because of the surgery and noises of the renovations.
We have planned to get done with a contraceptive injection for now ( which is supposed to last one year) and next year in summer. we will get her spayed ( sooner if needed ), is that a good idea in your guys opinion?