New cat won't warm up to me

[Columbine]

That's great news R rennielondon . Just goes to prove that infinite patience pays off in the end :nod:

 

[raksha]

 
Raksha,

I gotta say patience as well, but most importantly, its seems that a little of ignoring can go a long way after all!

After 2 long weeks of hissing, growling, hiding and no interest in me whatsoever, my beautiful girl has just let all her guards down and we are enjoying long sessions of petting, head-butting, cheek-rubbing in a total calm and peaceful way! It's almost like a dream!

I can't pick her up yet (which worries me - how long more until I can get her inside a carrier to visit the vet??), and even though she's explored my lap and climbed my chest a little, she didn't want to stay. So maybe she isn't that kind of pet, just like mingking said!

But I'm just happy I seem to have a content pet at home now!

:-) :-)

I'll have to try the ignoring thing a bit more. He follows me around, but I have yet to receive "kitty love" from my beautiful Binxy *sad face*

Patience... patience... patience...

I'm glad to hear you're doing well with your little missy

 

[rubysmama]

 
Raksha,

I gotta say patience as well, but most importantly, its seems that a little of ignoring can go a long way after all!

After 2 long weeks of hissing, growling, hiding and no interest in me whatsoever, my beautiful girl has just let all her guards down and we are enjoying long sessions of petting, head-butting, cheek-rubbing in a total calm and peaceful way! It's almost like a dream!

I can't pick her up yet (which worries me - how long more until I can get her inside a carrier to visit the vet??), and even though she's explored my lap and climbed my chest a little, she didn't want to stay. So maybe she isn't that kind of pet, just like mingking said!

But I'm just happy I seem to have a content pet at home now!

:-) :-)

I've just read through this thread now. Good to see she is settling into her new home.   Can you check with her previous owners to see if they could pick her up?  Or if she was a lap cat?

 

[timbo]

I just read your post, after Googling "My new cat won't warm up to me" and clicking on this site.  I have also adopted an 18-month old (so I was told) Ragdoll cat from an ad on Craigslist.  She's a beautiful cat, but she won't warm up to me.  I am suspecting it's because I'm a man, and she may have issues with men.

I have a housecleaner who came in two days ago, and she was out and about the house, exploring every room, playing, lying on the floor and sunning, using the scratching post of my last cat even!  The minute my housecleaner left (who is female), she retreated to the garage and did not come out.  The rest of the time she has been alone with me, she is hiding under the bed. 

I have never had this happen.  I do expect an "adjustment" period, but this is ridiculous.  I think she may have issues with men, and if she does, I'm not sure I can keep her.  I lost my last cat of 17 years to cancer six months ago, and he was a great companion.  I don't want to live with a cat I can't pet, won't jump on my lap, and won't trust me except to feed it and clean its litter box.

What do I do??

 

[rennielondon]

Hi Timbo. I feel your pain. But if it's any consolation this period is now over with my cat and we are pretty good buddies now. She's not a lap cat and she doesn't like very much to be picked up, but on her own terms she will come to me, jump on my chest and purr contentedly and even sleep between my legs (that's right, how inconvenient is that??) when I'm fast asleep.
I'm no expert but it's pretty clear to me that your cat is scared of men, she must have been mistreated by one or more in the past. Generally speaking, after my own experience, I'd say take your time - by the way, how long has it been? - and let her come to you when she's ready. But because it seems it's a trauma, I just don't know if it'll be that simple. Maybe someone who understands cats behaviours and traumas can give some insight into this subject?
But for now I will say don't force your presence on her, however make a point of showing her you are the one feeding her and cleaning her litter box. Talk softly to her and even sing! That tends to calm them down. Also try to feed her some treats, maybe she won't come to you to get them straightaway but show that it's you providing the yummy things so she will start to associate you with good things.
But most importantly, I need to remind you that every cat is different and you can't expect her to be the reincarnation of your old cat. She may not like laps and other things that your cat did and we need to respect individuality, don't we?
Good luck!