New cat hiding under the bed for three weeks

[aytees]

Hi everyone,

We got a new cat almost three weeks ago. She is very sweet but over time she has gotten more reclusive. She will stay under our bed the entire day, and only comes out to eat. She will also sleep with us in our bed during the night, but in the morning after she eats, she is back under the bed.

I think she is terrified of our noisy/busy household. There are 5 of us, including two very loud boys (ages 13 and 5). They are very gentle with the cats (we also have another one) and only go in one at a time to see her in our bedroom. Even so, she is afraid of them. She used to be a stray and perhaps she had a bad experience with children before... I just don't know. She is fine with our other cat but won't venture out from under the bed. One time I was able to lure her into the hallway, but she quickly ran into the washroom and hid behind the toilet.

She always looks so sad. I try to play with her but she usually will only stick out her paws from under the bed, and sometimes her head.

Any advice? Will she always be terrified of our active and noisy household?

 

[Primula]

These things take time. You have to put yourself in her paws & imagine how she feels. Be patient - don't crowd her or rush her. My Looby was outside for her first 3 months until I adopted her. Never had such a nervous cat. She stayed under the bed too. But now over a year later she is so affectionate and will even let me kiss her. She will never ever be a lap cat though. She is also frightened of my husband though she has no reason to be.

 

[MoochNNoodles]

Some take longer than others to warm up to their new homes. The fact that she comes out to eat, is fine with your other cat, and sleeps with you is a really good sign.  I would just spend time in your room quietly reading.  Maybe spend time on the floor gently encouraging her.  Let her smell your hands.  You could even put some unwashed shirts under there with your scents on them.  I wouldn't  put them right where she is; but maybe under a different corner so she can check out your scents on her own without them invading her safe space too much.  ''

Hopefully that will all help.  Generally you can let her set the pace.  I think for now she's ok.  Just gentle encouragement for now. 

 

[lightblue]

I adopted a girl that spent her first 10 weeks or so in the streets in the city.  We got her as a companion to our same-aged boy kitten because he was completely out of control (totally worked by the way).  

She was immediately VERY skittish.  Shy and visibly anxious 24/7.  She warmed up to my wife first, who was able to interact and then hold her after just a month or so.  I tend to have very intimate interactions with all kinds of animals nearly immediately, but this girl, for whatever reasons from her kittenhood traumas, wouldn't let me pick her up and hold her for about a year and a half.  We once moved to a new apartment and she stayed under our bed for 3 weeks - we actually had to bring the food to her because she was so afraid (but she did it).  However,by the time she was about 3 years old, she became so comfortable with me and my wife that she had transformed into a rambunctious, vocal, playful silly-head.  She's now VERY affectionate, even engages in some totally bizarre ritualistic behavior that I can't find any other example of anywhere on the internet, but it's clearly some kind of affection.  She's a sweetheart and can even handle a stranger if they are the right kind of cat person... but we've learned a clear rule that if there are 2 or more strangers, no one will see her until hours after all the strangers are gone.

Moral of the story: Give it time, and don't push her comfort zone.  Trying to force "progress" will just make her uncomfortable and make the whole thing take longer. If she wasn't eating there'd be cause to worry, but since she is, just let her do whatever is comfortable for her. Over time she'll become more comfortable with you and your family and home.