New cat hasn't eaten in a week, has made zero progress!

[stewball]

I'm so excited. The time will go so slowly.
When you meet him don't overwhelm him with kisses and cuddles and loud voices. He may also hide for a while.

 

[ginny]

I think every cat is just different.  My experience, if I may add my 2 cents, is quite different than others.  I've noticed my boys are friendlier in general, more approachable, the first ones to greet you, ask for petting, ask for meals - but not one is a lap cat.  Garfy was very sweet and approachable but he only liked to sit beside me.  Never in my lap.  

But it's been my girls who were/are the lap cats.  Gracie and her daughter Honey always compromised at night and took a side. Gracie on my right, Honey on my left, both leaning on me.  And whenever I sit down both Gracie and Honey would compete for my lap.  Gracie would get mad when Honey would lie down very near her touching her body.  So the girls didn't get along but both were definitely lap cats.

It's really hard to say how a new cat would be with your little shy girl.  

 

[red top rescue]

While you are waiting, start learning about the proper way to introduce cats to cats so you don't get off to a bad start in case she is scared of him or worse, hostile to him.

Here are links to two articles we have, and you can find related threads by searching in the search box just under the brown bar at the top of the page.

http://www.thecatsite.com/a/introducing-cats-to-cats

http://www.thecatsite.com/a/how-to-successfully-introduce-cats-the-ultimate-guide

 

[barbgee]

 
It really is too bad there aren't more indoor cats available! Someone will come along, though. I'd vote for a docile adult cat given the circumstances. This kitty may be fine with kittens, but a lot of adult cats get very annoyed by them. She might also be cautious of adult cats as well, but we can't know for sure because we don't know what her previous experiences have been like. So it's a tossup for what age cat will be best for her, but you do know what will be best for you. Most kittens aren't that cuddly because they don't like sitting still for very long, plus you don't know for sure what personality a cat is going to have until they're a couple years old at least. 

I'm still a little confused though with this "indoor/outdoor" business...

If you adopt a cat, and make the decision to keep them indoors only, is the shelter going to come and check out the situation?

I live in a big city, and I took in a friend's cat.  She used to allow her outdoors, but I have not, and she is none the worse off for it.  I do know some cats whine and try to get out, but this one doesn't.  She's happy to look out the windows. I'm not convinced that once an outdoor cat, forever an outdoor cat. Certainly, where I live she is safe from the many outdoor dangers we have.

I also have a semi-feral I brought inside after she broke (and lost) her leg.  I first gave her only her own room, after she was healed from surgery.  I would tap on the door, and "visit" with her, multiple times a day, managing the food, the litter, and then just sitting on the floor or at my desk, letting her get used to being around me.  She came to me for pets and rubs, and we worked from there.  The day she managed to struggle herself up on to my bed and sleep with me, after she had full run of the 2nd floor, was a wonderful thing.  Believe me, I despaired long and often that she would NEVER be anything more than a cat that lurked and hid when I'd come upstairs, but she now waits for me at the top of the stairs, she sleeps with me, and while she is not a "lap cat" she will be petted and played with, and she desires my company and attention as much as I do hers.  Sure, it would be great if I could handle her more, pick her up and hug her, but just having her curl up next to me is what she's comfortable with, and that's okay.  It takes time and patience.  It's really too bad you were so misled about her, but be kind to yourself, and to her, and you will both slowly come to know one another, I believe.

 

[babydolljerzgrl]

I was given a 3 yr old Blue Russian female cat. Her owner had a son about 7-9 and was pregnant, saying she wouldn't have time for "Cassie".When she 1st got here she instantly hid from us. We left her water and food out. We didn't see hide or hare of her for a week. My bf hunted EVERY where for her and couldn't find her anywhere!! Finally he looked under the couch. She found a hole n climbed up n in!! No wonder we couldn't find her!! So he reached up in n grabbed her, getting a nasty scratch getting her. He held her tight n gave her to ME. I held her tight against me, slowly stroking her, telling her welcome, im sure glad you are here, there's nothing to be afraid of. Then I kissed her softly on top of her head n kept talking to her. I could feel her relax in my arms. I know it must have been traumatic for her, being ripped away from the family she knew n I'm sure loved, not understanding why. And being brought into another home/environment.Cassie hid most of the time, but little by little came out n even up to me. I think my Shelby border Collie's presence could have been another reason she was afraid to come out. Babycakes just ignored her at 1st, then went up, sniffed her n walked away. Eventually CASSIE would greet her nose to nose n even snuggled against her. I think CASSIE was very depressed at 1st, but my picking her up n loving on her showed her she was loved n very much wanted. She turned out to be a very loving, snuggly cat!! I had her 3 yrs. My grandkids left my patio door wide open on July4th and I haven't seen my CASSIE since. I miss her very much!!

I would try to talk to your kitty n do like I did. She'll come around. She MUST be eating n drinking if she's using the litter box. Let us know how things are going n let us see a pic of her soon!! [emoji]128512[/emoji]

 

[talkingpeanut]

Hi! How are you all doing?

 

[blackcatfan]

Hey guys,

I'm sorry for the lack of updates. I have had a lot of personal problems that have prevented me from getting online. Here is an update on the situation:
We got our second cat from a proper shelter. He has been fantastic, and has slowly been helping our girl open up a little. However, there is now a new problem. The previous "owner" said she was neutered and even shaved off a bit of fur to make it look like she was. But she has came into heat. So on top of it all, our semi-feral caged baby machine sold to us as a neutered family pet is NOT EVEN NEUTERED.

I emailed the previous "owner" and got an over-the-top response with personal insults and profanity.


We want to try and get her breeding license removed but they require a FEE to even open a complaint. We have no idea what to do.

Btw my "paranoid accusations" are me asking for her previous vet ...

 

[talkingpeanut]

She's a disgusting person. Do you have the vet's name? Can you contact them directly?

So glad she's opening up and settling.

Please do whatever you can to get her breeding license revoked and the authorities involved. Absolutely revolting.

 

[artiemom]

disgusting e-mail reply sent to you.....OMG....some people....it amazes me what some 'humans' have devolved into...

 

[blackcatfan]

She's a disgusting person. Do you have the vet's name? Can you contact them directly?

So glad she's opening up and settling.

Please do whatever you can to get her breeding license revoked and the authorities involved. Absolutely revolting.

I've contacted a local cat shelter to ask them if there's anyway to get her license revoked without paying the fee. Hoping someone gives me a lead on that! Since posting that email she's sent a few more, her language is absolutely disgusting, using the word "retard' multiple times. I brought up to her that the cat she used on the advert was NOT the cat we were given and she told me "I need to get a hobby" and that I'm a "boring ****" !

 

[barbgee]

Please remind me, does the first cat have a microchip?

If so, there should be a way to track back to  who the vet who inserted it is, and would have ostensibly spayed her.

I suppose you could "triangulate" around where this bad woman is located, to try and figure out what vet she might be using, but ultimately that could be a lost cause.

When  you do get the dear one spayed, I wonder if you could ask the vet for both a copy of the surgical report AND ask her to take a photo while they're in there?  Maybe that's too much to ask, on the other hand....

There must be others who have been taken in by this woman, the question is, how might you locate others, and do you even "want to go there", opening up a potential can of worms...

I'm just glad she's getting along with the second cat, and will hopefully come around.

 

[blackcatfan]

 
Please remind me, does the first cat have a microchip?

If so, there should be a way to track back to  who the vet who inserted it is, and would have ostensibly spayed her.

I suppose you could "triangulate" around where this bad woman is located, to try and figure out what vet she might be using, but ultimately that could be a lost cause.

When  you do get the dear one spayed, I wonder if you could ask the vet for both a copy of the surgical report AND ask her to take a photo while they're in there?  Maybe that's too much to ask, on the other hand....

There must be others who have been taken in by this woman, the question is, how might you locate others, and do you even "want to go there", opening up a potential can of worms...

I'm just glad she's getting along with the second cat, and will hopefully come around.

Yep, she's microchipped. Both us and our vet have contacted the previous vet several times, and they could find zero record of her ever being neutered. She gave us the vet, which our girl was confirmed to be registered, zero record of neutering. I asked the owner to provide proof of a neuter on paper and she can't. 

Who knows how many others she has scammed, I have no idea how I'd even find them. Hopefully if out efforts gather traction, other people will recognise the name and speak up 

 

[barbgee]

I'm thinking that you need to not make any contact with her (the breeder) any more.  She seems a bit unhinged, looking at that one email to you, and the others she's sent.  Clearly she has no intention of making anything right, much less telling you anything resembling the truth.  You might even want to have any future messages from her go directly into your email TRASH or SPAM folder.

I'm hoping you can find a way to work something out with your current vet, or find one that will do a low cost spay, and just get that taken care of.  Was your current vet able to get a set of the old medical records from the vet the breeder did tell you about?  It would be interesting to see how many vet visits she actually had, and how big a gap between the time you got her and the last visit to the last vet you were told about had gone by. 

Going after this woman in any way that would be easy for her to figure out you instigated it is probably not be a good idea. 

I live in a big city, and it's easy to make an anonymous complaint to the building, zoning, Health departments or licensing agencies.  If you're in a smaller town, I can see it would be easy to be identified. 

In the US, we have many online "review" websites (yelp.com, comes to mind), where people can leave their reviews of a company, a restaurant, a service, and so on.

If you have something like that, have you been able to find this breeder and see what her "reviews" are, from the general public?

That might be the only way you could hook up with some others that have been dissatisfied with her, but if you go that route, you must be very careful not to expose too much detail about yourself, or the situation you encountered with her.   I know how hard it is when you've been lied to and you want some sort of recourse or action to be taken, but if you can't do it without endangering yourself or your household, you may have to just let it go....  at least for now.  

And maybe someday, if the forum allows it, you could give us a hint or three as to what breeder to AVOID in your area!   

 

[barbgee]

Checking in, wondering if there are any updates on the cat situation here...

 

[blackcatfan]

I'm not sure how many people will see this, but I thought I'd check in for an update in case anyone comes back to check.

After several months of battling, making progress and stalling, we decided we couldn't mess around anymore. We turned our lovely girl into a shelter. It is whole heartedly one of the most difficult things I have ever done in my entire life. I loved this little girl with all my heart and wanted nothing than for her to find her happiness with us. But it just was not to be. She began stalling, and became worse and worse by the day. She began hiding all day, and hiding from Dax, our second cat, too. You could see the life was leaving her. We lived in a flat in a city, and we could not let her outside, although she seemed to pine for the outdoors. Or at the very least, A LOT more space. She was not a cat who liked to be "where its all happening" like our little boy is. She began to despise my partner for reasons we do not understand (he is VERY tall and works, so probably comes home smelling strange to her everyday) which not only made him unhappy but (more importantly hehe) made our little girl miserable. I had volunteered at a shelter previously, and it was wonderful. Every person there gave their all for the wellbeing of these cats, it was so warm and with beds, food and toys cats dream of. I knew they could give her the life she always desired, and deserves to have. Realising that I could not was absolutely devastating to me. But she came first. 

Despite her being a mostly black cat, she was adopted within ONE WEEK of arriving. The photos the shelter shared of her showed her being HAPPY! I knew Tess would do well in a shelter environment, I knew she would feel safe with the closed off rooms and being paired with like minded cats (rather than our boy who was too hyper for her) as well as people keeping their distance from her. I wish so badly I could have an update on how she is getting on at her new home. Every day I think of her, and pray she is now on the right path to live her life to the fullest, like every cat deserves. And deep down, I know she is, because that shelter is run by angels that I have met personally! 

So yes, she has moved onto a new home, someone matched to her 100%, to give her the life she needs. Thanks to everyone for following me on this journey, its been one heck of a rollercoaster ride! 

 

[jcat]

I'm sorry things didn't work out, but deciding to return her for her own sake was the right decision. I've seen a number of cats/kittens come back to our shelter because they didn't get along with the resident cat(s), and they were then placed in single-cat homes. Our Mogli was one of them, and several others have ended up with shelter volunteers or vet techs.

 

[blackcatfan]

I'm sorry things didn't work out, but deciding to return her for her own sake was the right decision. I've seen a number of cats/kittens come back to our shelter because they didn't get along with the resident cat(s), and they were then placed in single-cat homes. Our Mogli was one of them, and several others have ended up with shelter volunteers or vet techs.

The funny thing is she did enjoy the company of other cats (she was ecstatic when our second boy arrived) but she likes cats she can silently sit with rather than cats who actually want to be involved with her, if that makes sense. So after a while she got very fed up with our second boy who just loves to play and cuddle