new cat and new baby

[raimagic]

Hi, I was wondering if you could help me with advice.

I've always wanted a cat, but for various reasons, I never could get one - before now. However, I'm also pregnant (the baby is coming in February) and I'm torn about when would be the right time to finally get a cat.

This is my thinking. If I get a new cat right now, then I'll have a more time before the baby comes to spend time with it, to train it to behave, and finally, the cat will be older and maybe more mature when the baby comes? I'll be working full-time throughout my pregnancy, and then I'll have a few months off.

On the other hand, I'm worried that the cat will be jealous when the baby comes, as I will inevitably have less time for it, and  that it will be more stressful for the cat to get used to the new family member than if I get it after the baby is already part of the household. But, if I wait until the baby comes, I'm afraid that having a new baby and a new cat at the same time might not be feasible energy-wise.

I really don't wait to wait a few more years (until the baby is grown, as some people keep telling me) because chances are there'll be more babies in my life and I'll never get the cat!

 

[franksmom]

Contrary to popular beliefs cats are generally fine with babies. You do have a lot going on so that might be something to consider. If you truly believe you can give a 20 year commitment to a cat it would be fine to adopt before the baby. If you are getting a kitten I would really consider getting two since you work full time so they can entertain each other. They will also not be as jealous of the baby since again they have each other to play with. I do have to say kittens are a little like having a baby and can be a lot of work, so you really have to think about this commitment.

 

[arellamarie]

I'm in a similar spot - I was thinking of getting a cat before our baby is born (due in January), but an abandoned kitten found us instead.

I will say this - it's the best "practice" you can get for a baby. Especially if it's young. Delilah has me up at random points in the night wanting attention, in fact I'm typing this at 4AM my time because Delilah's decided she needs me awake. It gets the household in the habit of taking care of a little thing that relies on you, and it jump starts you on a higher level of responsibility. And, just like with a child, there's moments of intense frustration that quickly get melted away by feelings of love.

The most important thing, of course, is to have someone else clean the litter box of any cat you get as long as you're pregnant. It's also a good idea that any intense play should be followed up with a wash of your hands. Highly recommend to find a cat that's already litter trained too, just to save you all that one extra hassle when you shouldn't really be handling litter-related activities.

I can only speak as a fellow pregnant woman, I don't know about the energy levels of having both a new cat and a new baby on your hands, but what I do know is that I felt like I really needed this half-step toward that major responsibility.
 

 

[raimagic]

Thank you for your thoughts. I feel ready to commit to a cat and this argument about half-step to responsibility really makes sense to me -- I already used it on my husband
 

 

[buddha n jack]

I think you may want to have the baby first and get the cat a little later when things settle down. I've started looking into all the stuff you should do to prep a cat for a new baby and it sounds like a new home and then a baby a few months later could be stressful for it? I don't have a whole lot of experience though, but we had a cat that got stressed about everything (conflicts w/ the other cat in our house, stray cats outdoors, not enough playtime, new furniture, unclean litter box etc.) and it let us know by spraying all over the place.

That way you can see how you manage timewise with the baby and if you can juggle both commitments. My 2nd cat was pretty time/ money intensive and it was hard to devote the proper time to it that it needed. All the vet bills (over 2k) started to create a little resentment and I didn't take the time to properly understand my cat.  I ended up taking it back to the shelter like an ignorant a-hole 1 year later and am still wracked with guilt over it. I think it had issues from all the owners it had and I probably gave it extra abandonment issues. Taking both on might be difficult and end up heartbreaking.

My other cat though is pretty low maintenance. Good health, no behavior problems, etc. But she does demand attention and its sometimes at 2 or 6 am.  I do think she'll get resentful come December when my son is due.

 

[buddha n jack]

Also,

Having a cat before a baby might make the cat feel slighted. It will be the baby of the house for 6 months and then the amount of attention

you can shower it with will drop drastically once your newborn arrives. Allergies might be something else to think about. 

I'm hoping that won't be a problem.

 

[raimagic]

Just a quick follow-up. I got a kitten in the end and so far this has been very very rewarding experience. We, as a household, needed to change some of our habits in order to accommodate caring for a kitten and I feel these changes are a very good preparation for baby

Also, I think it's good I got her now, because I can't imagine having this much time to spend with her (both to bond with her and to teach her how to behave in the apartment) with a new baby. I'm aware I'll have to be careful not to neglect her when the baby finally comes,  and I hope we both will adjust well.

As for allergies, I have read that recent research shows that having cats and dogs in the first year of a child's life actually decreases the likelihood of allergies. So I hope everything will be all right

Thank you all for your advice!

 

[petcrazy76]

Congrats on the cat. Our cat Peanut has always been upset with change and lets us know by peeing on our stuff. When he was little and our son was born we weren't sure how he'd handle. We put my son in his carseat on the floor and sat super close while Peanut checked him out. Peanut loved him! He hated change but when it came to my son he acted like a third parent for awhile. You never know how cats will act. Good luck with your new kitty and baby. Hope they're best friends.

 

[raimagic]

A quick update for people who may find themselves with the same dilemma now that both the baby and the cat are here

I believe now it was a very good decision to get a kitty before the baby was born. I would never had the time and energy to bond with my cat in the way I did if I had a newborn on my hands at the same time. Of course, I had to prepare my cat for baby's arrival and she became more needy for attention with the little one in the house, but at the same time, she was confident that she had my affection (which was proven over previous months) and therefore her adaptation was quick.

So, things have been good so far Sometimes they both want my attention at the exact same time, but most of the time I am able to deal with both of them satisfactorily and I'm very happy that my child will be growing up with a loving pet.