New cat (3yo male) constantly trying to chase, bite, and mount resident cat (9yo male) both neutered

[aubreystrawberry]

About two months ago I adopted Roger (3yo male) as a friend to my resident cat Cooper (9yo male) after Cooper's companion kitty passed away. Cooper is an extremely cuddly, mellow, low energy kitty who loves cuddling with humans and other cats. At the shelter, Roger was extremely mellow, easygoing, cuddly and low energy so he seemed like the perfect match for Cooper. Roger was a recently neutered friendly stray kitty. At first, everything was going perfectly. I kept them separate at first and did slow intros, but they pretty immediately hit it off. Neither of them hissed or growled at the other even once, and they would even sleep next to eachother. I couldn't believe how great things were going! About a month in, Roger started to randomly lunge at Cooper, go straight for his neck and try to mount him. Cooper would cry out and try to get away, and if I don't intervene it becomes a full fight with fur flying. At first this only happened a few times, but now it happens everyday probably 5 times a day, and I have to separate them whenever it happens. I usually am able to intervene before he actually attacks Cooper, but it's so exhausting and heartbreaking, and I'm sure it's stressing out Cooper, and stressing out Roger to have to stay in the bathroom when this happens. The bathroom is his homebase with litterbox, water, scratchpad, and small cat tree, but I hate keeping him in there, esp when I have to leave the house. I live in a loft open space apartment, so unfortunately the bathroom is the only place I can separate them.
They still eat next to each other, will sleep in the same vicinity, and will play with the wand toy next to eachother, but still Roger is adamant about chasing then biting/humping Cooper. Just this morning I saw Roger stalk and chase Cooper out of the litterbox which is extra concerning to me.

Things I have tried:

Lots of playtime to wear Roger out
Cat calming pheromone diffusers
Cat calming food
Food puzzles
Lots of treats and playtime together
Thundershirt on Roger which definitely reduces this behavior but as he gets used to it, the behaviors have been returning
Lots of cat beds, scratchers, and cat trees

My friends, family and boyfriend say that I should try to find a new home for Roger since it's not fair to either of them right now, and I worry they might be right.
I have a vet appointment tomorrow to see what advice the vet says, but I feel I'm running out of options

I attached photos, grey kitty is resident Cooper, white/orange kitty is new kitty Roger

Does anyone have any experience with this? Is there any hope or should I try to rehome? Thank you so much <3

 

[Alldara]

I think there is hope.

Can you get a video of the "mounting" behaviour?

Magnus randomly does this thing where he looks like he is attempting to carry Ghost away, it looks similar to mounting. Magnus bites the neck and then starts a walking motion with his back legs. He uses to do it with Cal but stopped. Neither Ghost nor Calcifer care about when he's doing it, as they are both pretty docile with other cats usually.

Now, if I had a more dominant cat, obviously it would cause issues like in your home.

How are you playing with Roger to try and get that energy out? Are you able to use any large kickers to wrestle with him?

Do Roger and Cooper (now or before) do any wrestling or chasing? I'm wondering if they were playing before and Roger is getting out of hand.

Are they eating a mis of wet an dry?

Is Cooper getting a check tomorrow? Sometimes if there's a health issue going on cats can act oddly towards one another.

 

[aubreystrawberry]

Thank you so much for the response! I will try to get a video of the mounting behavior. It usually starts with him either chasing Cooper, or jumping up to where Cooper is and then biting his neck. I think it's possible that it starts out as play, but when Cooper tries to get away from Roger, Roger becomes more aggressive and it doesn't feel like play. I think they used to somewhat playfully chase, but it was always Roger doing the chasing. They have been somewhat playful together with their cat tunnel, with Cooper peeking in on Roger and Roger bursting out to chase him, and I have seen them playfully bat at eachother. They've never playfully wrestled though, it always feels aggressive, with Cooper crying out and fur flying. Cooper's past kitty companion was a very calm elderly cat who didn't like to play so I don't think he's used to playing with cats.

I play with Roger primarily with the "Da Bee" cat wand, or the feather wand. He also has a kicker toy I give him which he loves to wrestle with and kick. I will also throw balls for him which he loves to chase.

They do get a mix of wet and dry!

Tomorrows vet appointment is for Roger, and Cooper's appointment is next week.

Thank you so much again!

 

[Alldara]

Thank you so much for the response! I will try to get a video of the mounting behavior. It usually starts with him either chasing Cooper, or jumping up to where Cooper is and then biting his neck. I think it's possible that it starts out as play, but when Cooper tries to get away from Roger, Roger becomes more aggressive and it doesn't feel like play. I think they used to somewhat playfully chase, but it was always Roger doing the chasing. They have been somewhat playful together with their cat tunnel, with Cooper peeking in on Roger and Roger bursting out to chase him, and I have seen them playfully bat at eachother. They've never playfully wrestled though, it always feels aggressive, with Cooper crying out and fur flying. Cooper's past kitty companion was a very calm elderly cat who didn't like to play so I don't think he's used to playing with cats.

I play with Roger primarily with the "Da Bee" cat wand, or the feather wand. He also has a kicker toy I give him which he loves to wrestle with and kick. I will also throw balls for him which he loves to chase.

They do get a mix of wet and dry!

Tomorrows vet appointment is for Roger, and Cooper's appointment is next week.

Thank you so much again!

Well both appointments go smoothly. I'll recommend giving them time to decompress and "air out" the vet smell when they get home in a separate room with litter box and snack after each appointment.

I was wondering about dry food because I wonder if something like this would help Roger: Amazon.com


clicker training could also help, perhaps a floppy fish toy. I empathize as it can be almost impossible to wear out a younger cat to stop naughty behaviour! You're doing so much already.

have you tried cat calming music?

a weird thing we noted is that at different points Magnus gets overstimulated and understimulated and both result in the same naughty behaviours. Generally screaming, jumping on things he knows are dangerous areas etc.

What can fix each is some white noise, and having something to 'watch'. For example when overstimulated we close the door (we move a chair there daily), put on some music or white noise and put one of his electronic balls into a box. He usually goes up in his tree and will watch the ball from there and go to sleep. For understimulated, we can put on the radio, put some bird seed outside and then he will usually stop screaming Kong enough to play with us. Our last resort is always vacuuming. (We've done desensitization training so no one is scared of the vacuum.)

 

[aubreystrawberry]

Thank you so much for the response this is so helpful <3!
That food puzzle toy looks great for Roger! He definitely loves all kinds of puzzles and I think he is very smart / I can see his stray history in how he loves to figure out puzzles. He will also rip open bags of food if I leave anything out, and knows how to open cabinets and doors lol.

I was curious about the floppy fish toy, I think I will get that for him! Thank you so much, it really is so exhausting trying to wear out a young kitty, his energy seems endless!

That is such a great point about him being both under and overstimulated! Sometimes it feels like playing with him almost made it worse at times so I think that explains it. What are the electronic balls you have? Also it is SO funny I always noticed he calmed down when I turned the roomba on and I think that explains it lol !

I haven't tried the cat calming music, I will try that!

Thank you so much again!

 

[Alldara]

I have a Catit Senses, a bigger one from Amazon that isn't sold anymore (size of a tennis ball and moves on its own). I also have a little moving bug from PetSmart.

I put them in the cardboard that the cases of cans come in, a lot of time. Keeps them contained for his viewing. I do let them loose sometimes though I end up having to scrounge the big out from under the stove.

 

[aubreystrawberry]

thank you so much I will try those!