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- Jan 21, 2015
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I think I'm posting this in the right place, if not I apologize.
First off, let me start this by saying I am a huge cat lover and have had cats most of my life. Which what makes what I'm going through right now all the worse because I feel like the world's worst person right now.
Recently my husband and I lost one of our two cats to illness. He was a huge part of our life and loosing him was devastating. Our other cat was very sad and lonely, so we decided to adopt a cat to give her and us a companion. Not to replace him of course, because no other cat would be like him in the same way.
We went to a local shelter and looked at a lot of cats. My husband wanted a cat that was going to be his buddy, but love us both and we thought we had found that cat. Her name is Felicia and she was very sweet. She curled up in his lap and mine and seemed to like us both. She was playful as well, something that I really like in a cat.
We adopted her and took her home Friday night and brought her into our computer room which we had all set up and ready for her. She was very skittish and hid right away. We left her alone and didn't force her into interaction, but just sat in the room with her and spoke calmly and softly to each other. Eventually she came out and wanted affection and acted sweet and affectionate like she had at the shelter.
The next day she was still very timid and would cringe away from both of us when we entered the room. We stayed patient with her and let her come to us if she wanted to, which she of course did because this cat loves affection. She started that day to show a preference to my husband, which was fine. That's what we had wanted.
She didn't eat until Monday and only then because she was willing to sit in my husband's lap and eat. Any other time we tried to entice her with food, all she wanted was to be petted. It seems to be the ONLY thing she ever wants. Thankfully since then she's started eating on her own and eating her fill.
Our other cat Elsa, (not named after the Frozen character, she's 10), is wary of Felicia and hisses at her, but otherwise isn't too bothered thankfully. Elsa doesn't seem very interested in getting to know her, though I know that'll come with time.
The problem is with me. Felicia only wants my husband. If he's not around she hides in the window in the computer room and only comes out to get pet after she's flinched away from me. He works during the day and I'm a stay at home wife, so I'm around her most of the time. She's completely disinterested in playing, or exploring, or anything except getting pet. She doesn't want anything to do with me it seems which hurts. But what hurts the most is I don't feel any connection to her. I don't dislike her, but I don't like her either. I hate myself for feeling that way, but I do!
I'm not sure what to do at this point. I don't want to take her back, I would feel even worse about that and I don't want to hurt my husband either. He really likes her and they are getting along great. But her coldness to me makes me feel so sad and feel the loss of our other cat all over again. I don't know if we should get another cat that will be more affectionate and a bigger personality? I don't want to overwhelm Elsa or Felicia with that though.
Does anyone have any advice?
First off, let me start this by saying I am a huge cat lover and have had cats most of my life. Which what makes what I'm going through right now all the worse because I feel like the world's worst person right now.
Recently my husband and I lost one of our two cats to illness. He was a huge part of our life and loosing him was devastating. Our other cat was very sad and lonely, so we decided to adopt a cat to give her and us a companion. Not to replace him of course, because no other cat would be like him in the same way.
We went to a local shelter and looked at a lot of cats. My husband wanted a cat that was going to be his buddy, but love us both and we thought we had found that cat. Her name is Felicia and she was very sweet. She curled up in his lap and mine and seemed to like us both. She was playful as well, something that I really like in a cat.
We adopted her and took her home Friday night and brought her into our computer room which we had all set up and ready for her. She was very skittish and hid right away. We left her alone and didn't force her into interaction, but just sat in the room with her and spoke calmly and softly to each other. Eventually she came out and wanted affection and acted sweet and affectionate like she had at the shelter.
The next day she was still very timid and would cringe away from both of us when we entered the room. We stayed patient with her and let her come to us if she wanted to, which she of course did because this cat loves affection. She started that day to show a preference to my husband, which was fine. That's what we had wanted.
She didn't eat until Monday and only then because she was willing to sit in my husband's lap and eat. Any other time we tried to entice her with food, all she wanted was to be petted. It seems to be the ONLY thing she ever wants. Thankfully since then she's started eating on her own and eating her fill.
Our other cat Elsa, (not named after the Frozen character, she's 10), is wary of Felicia and hisses at her, but otherwise isn't too bothered thankfully. Elsa doesn't seem very interested in getting to know her, though I know that'll come with time.
The problem is with me. Felicia only wants my husband. If he's not around she hides in the window in the computer room and only comes out to get pet after she's flinched away from me. He works during the day and I'm a stay at home wife, so I'm around her most of the time. She's completely disinterested in playing, or exploring, or anything except getting pet. She doesn't want anything to do with me it seems which hurts. But what hurts the most is I don't feel any connection to her. I don't dislike her, but I don't like her either. I hate myself for feeling that way, but I do!
I'm not sure what to do at this point. I don't want to take her back, I would feel even worse about that and I don't want to hurt my husband either. He really likes her and they are getting along great. But her coldness to me makes me feel so sad and feel the loss of our other cat all over again. I don't know if we should get another cat that will be more affectionate and a bigger personality? I don't want to overwhelm Elsa or Felicia with that though.
Does anyone have any advice?