Hello, I am new here, I have a british blue female cat, she is seven years old and I have had her about five months. She is very nervous, how do other people manage with nervous cats? I have had cats all my life but never one as nervous as she is.
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nervous cat
- Thread starter teddytimble
- Start Date
Hello and welcome!
In order to help you, you'll have to explain exactly what you mean by nervous. Is she eating? Does she hide all day? (I have a cat who stays in my bedroom cupboard for hours when something has upset her). Tell us more about her and I'm sure you'll get lots of good advice from visitors to this site.
In order to help you, you'll have to explain exactly what you mean by nervous. Is she eating? Does she hide all day? (I have a cat who stays in my bedroom cupboard for hours when something has upset her). Tell us more about her and I'm sure you'll get lots of good advice from visitors to this site.
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- #3
Hello
When I first got her she hid under kitchen cupboard for two days! I noticed she was coming out at night, so I managed to eventually block a gap in the kitchen so she could not hide under unit. She is also a housecat, her previous owner said she had hardly ever been out. If the doorbell goes she now hides behind the sofa, or if anyone calls this is always where she hides. She is getting much better with me though and has realised I am not going to hurt her and that I am the supplier of nice food! I know with cats you have to do things on their terms and she is clearly beginning to trust me. She did not come from a bad home but I do not know what has happened in her life before I got her. I have always had my cat on the bed at night if they want to sleep on it, but when I get in the bed she jumps off,, she does the same thing when I get on the sofa, she jumps off so I can only assume she was perhaps not allowed on the bed with her previous. owners. I have bought her a nice cat bed and she has her own chair, somewhere I hope she will feel a bit safer. She will play with some of the cat toys I have bought her, she is so different to my other little cat who was quite "laid back" but I know I must not compare her with him, I had him 19 years from a kitten. She is the first cat I have had from another home. I do not want her to be frightened, my home is quiet and there are no children running about and no other cats. Perhaps I must learn to be more patient but I just want her to be happy.
I
When I first got her she hid under kitchen cupboard for two days! I noticed she was coming out at night, so I managed to eventually block a gap in the kitchen so she could not hide under unit. She is also a housecat, her previous owner said she had hardly ever been out. If the doorbell goes she now hides behind the sofa, or if anyone calls this is always where she hides. She is getting much better with me though and has realised I am not going to hurt her and that I am the supplier of nice food! I know with cats you have to do things on their terms and she is clearly beginning to trust me. She did not come from a bad home but I do not know what has happened in her life before I got her. I have always had my cat on the bed at night if they want to sleep on it, but when I get in the bed she jumps off,, she does the same thing when I get on the sofa, she jumps off so I can only assume she was perhaps not allowed on the bed with her previous. owners. I have bought her a nice cat bed and she has her own chair, somewhere I hope she will feel a bit safer. She will play with some of the cat toys I have bought her, she is so different to my other little cat who was quite "laid back" but I know I must not compare her with him, I had him 19 years from a kitten. She is the first cat I have had from another home. I do not want her to be frightened, my home is quiet and there are no children running about and no other cats. Perhaps I must learn to be more patient but I just want her to be happy.
I
Some cats take more time than others to acclimate to new surroundings; some are just always nervous. I've dealt with a couple of nervous cats. Ozzy was scared of his own shadow when we brought him home. It took a long time and lots of reassurance before he started feeling secure around us but now he's a snuggle bug. He's still scared of his own shadow lol but he completely trusts me, hubby and even a couple of our close friends he knows. It just took a lot of time.
Hannah was 10 when we took her in and I'd never seen such a nervous cat. We put a couple of feliway diffusers in the room where she slept. I'm a big believer in those for their calming effect. And I discovered she loved to be brushed, so that helped win her over. She'll never be a lap cat but she will spend time with me for brushing.
So--perhaps try calming treats, or a diffuser. See if she likes to be brushed.
Hannah was 10 when we took her in and I'd never seen such a nervous cat. We put a couple of feliway diffusers in the room where she slept. I'm a big believer in those for their calming effect. And I discovered she loved to be brushed, so that helped win her over. She'll never be a lap cat but she will spend time with me for brushing.
So--perhaps try calming treats, or a diffuser. See if she likes to be brushed.
My RB/Soul Kitty Glory was extremely skittish. As a kitten she would jump straight up in the air if you startled her. She earned the nickname "Beans" because of that. My Mom used to say she was like a jumping bean. I was 9 when we adopted her and she passed when I was in college. For the first few years of her life it was just my mother, our other cat and I living with her. When my mom remarried I gained not only a step-dad; but at time 4 step-siblings in the house plus their cat. Needless to say; our house got a lot noisier and fuller! Plus we moved a few states away. Glory stayed skittish. She preferred to be in my room with me. She liked my Mom too; but no one else really. The litter box was in the garage; a straight shot from my bedroom. She liked to sprint from the door to my room. She also had a few favorite spots in the yard where she could hide; behind the iris's and in the field behind the house. It was just who she was.
I guess we just adapted to her. I didn't know what I know now and I don't know if things like Feliway were available back then. She had her safe places in my room and my step-siblings learned to leave her alone.
Hopefully with more time your kitty will come around. Since she is an adult it may take longer than if she were a kitten; but I think if you are consistent and loving with her she will feel at home with you. Even if she's never as social or even cuddly as other cats. My current 2 are 9 and they still change things up with their affections. Lately Noodles seeks me out. For a long time the only time she wanted pets was at 3 am if I made a trip to the bathroom.
I guess we just adapted to her. I didn't know what I know now and I don't know if things like Feliway were available back then. She had her safe places in my room and my step-siblings learned to leave her alone.
Hopefully with more time your kitty will come around. Since she is an adult it may take longer than if she were a kitten; but I think if you are consistent and loving with her she will feel at home with you. Even if she's never as social or even cuddly as other cats. My current 2 are 9 and they still change things up with their affections. Lately Noodles seeks me out. For a long time the only time she wanted pets was at 3 am if I made a trip to the bathroom.
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- #6
Hello
many thanks for advice I am glad I'm not the only one with "skittish" pussycat! I have had a couple of suggestions to try Feliway so I think it might be a good idea to give it a go and see how she reacts. Like you said I think I will have to adapt to her.
many thanks for advice I am glad I'm not the only one with "skittish" pussycat! I have had a couple of suggestions to try Feliway so I think it might be a good idea to give it a go and see how she reacts. Like you said I think I will have to adapt to her.
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- #7
Hello
I will try feliway diffuser and see how she reacts. I also think she may always be a nervous cat, she is not afraid of me anymore, but she is certainly afraid of everyone else! I have started to brush her with a nice soft brush, british blues have fairly easy coats to manage and do not need too much brushing, she is a "fidget" when I brush her and won't keep still but I think she quite likes being brushed.
I didn't think I was the only one with a cat like this and it is reassuring to know other cat lovers have had these issues.
Many thanks for advice
I will try feliway diffuser and see how she reacts. I also think she may always be a nervous cat, she is not afraid of me anymore, but she is certainly afraid of everyone else! I have started to brush her with a nice soft brush, british blues have fairly easy coats to manage and do not need too much brushing, she is a "fidget" when I brush her and won't keep still but I think she quite likes being brushed.
I didn't think I was the only one with a cat like this and it is reassuring to know other cat lovers have had these issues.
Many thanks for advice
Thank you so much for given us more details. You seem to be doing everything right – your new cat has probably had a bad start in life – never learning to trust people in general. I see you are now receiving lots of examples of nervous cats and how their owners dealt with the problem. Your cat seems to be happy in your home but doesn't want anybody near her to spoil her peace and quiet. I'm sure this will sort itself out. You'll just need a lot of patience and a few cat treats?
My nervous cat (Mogi) was found badly injured in a rubbish skip. She had been abused (by humans) and thrown out for dead. She was estimated to be 6 weeks old, meaning that she had had little chance of learning normal cat social behaviour from her mother and siblings. The vet realized that this little cat was a fighter so she wasn't euthanized. She was given to us about 4 weeks later simply because she seemed to take to me, allowing me to treat her injuries before falling asleep on my lap. I already had 2 older cats, Lilly and Lucy, who preferred to ignore each other so the new kitten was kept in the kitchen until her diarrhea cleared up and she was able to eat normal cat food.
Although she was friendly she no longer wanted to sit on my lap and preferred to rub herself against us to being stroked. She spent most of her time with the oldest cat, Lucy, who mothered her and let her get away with anything. Mogi never showed any affection in return but soon let Lucy know when she'd had enough mothering. So, we never had real cause to worry – when the vacuum cleaner was being used, Mogi and Lucy would be together under the bed. Visitors only saw the 2 older cats but we never thought too much about it. Afternoons all 3 cats sat in the living room and whenever Lilly tried to chase Mogi away, Lucy would intervene.
Real problems only occurred when Lucy became seriously ill and had to be euthanized. We hardly saw Mogi from morning till night. She started hiding on the top of cupboards or in cupboards. The living room was dominated by Lilly who seemed to enjoy scaring Mogi away. Six months later things hadn't got any better so we considered taking on a large, placid stray. The Cat Rescue Group was looking for temporary or permanent homes for many unwanted cats and it seemed as though we could provide a home for this sociable cat. I documented our experiences fostering Dominique (and Sir Thomas) on this site: a disaster for poor little Mogi.
I then fostered Katy (keeping her in the cellar until shortly before her castration) She is now our cat number three. At first she was the underdog but during her short life she had learnt to accept the fact that she would be bullied. She would get chased out of the living room by Lilly at least 10 times a day but always came back to play with her toys. She still tries to play with Mogi's tail but Mogi doesn't understand so disappears under the bed. Katy now finds it a great game to chase Mogi, but whereas Mogi used to hiss and growl at her she now just hides away. Still, things are much better than they were - I no longer have to keep food, water and a litter box in the bedroom!
Mogi is almost nocturnal – if I get up in the middle of the night she will join me in the smallest room of the house. There she will sit on my lap, drink water from the tap and is purrfectly happy. So, enough about Mogi. What can you do? I have 2 daughters who visit regularly. One has never even seen Mogi. The other made a special effort recently and has been rewarded. Mogi comes out to see her whenever she enters the house and calls her name! It's quite a simple solution – one we use all the time at the Cat Rescue Group. Bribery with cat treats! I suggest you take one or two to bed with you or give them to her only when she's on the sofa. I'm sure she'll come round. Feliway has never helped my cats - even though I used 3 dispensers around the house. It is a method to calm nervous cats so it's worth a try.
Anyway, I wish you luck. but I'm sure things will sort themselves out, even though she may continue to disappear when visitors come.
My nervous cat (Mogi) was found badly injured in a rubbish skip. She had been abused (by humans) and thrown out for dead. She was estimated to be 6 weeks old, meaning that she had had little chance of learning normal cat social behaviour from her mother and siblings. The vet realized that this little cat was a fighter so she wasn't euthanized. She was given to us about 4 weeks later simply because she seemed to take to me, allowing me to treat her injuries before falling asleep on my lap. I already had 2 older cats, Lilly and Lucy, who preferred to ignore each other so the new kitten was kept in the kitchen until her diarrhea cleared up and she was able to eat normal cat food.
Although she was friendly she no longer wanted to sit on my lap and preferred to rub herself against us to being stroked. She spent most of her time with the oldest cat, Lucy, who mothered her and let her get away with anything. Mogi never showed any affection in return but soon let Lucy know when she'd had enough mothering. So, we never had real cause to worry – when the vacuum cleaner was being used, Mogi and Lucy would be together under the bed. Visitors only saw the 2 older cats but we never thought too much about it. Afternoons all 3 cats sat in the living room and whenever Lilly tried to chase Mogi away, Lucy would intervene.
Real problems only occurred when Lucy became seriously ill and had to be euthanized. We hardly saw Mogi from morning till night. She started hiding on the top of cupboards or in cupboards. The living room was dominated by Lilly who seemed to enjoy scaring Mogi away. Six months later things hadn't got any better so we considered taking on a large, placid stray. The Cat Rescue Group was looking for temporary or permanent homes for many unwanted cats and it seemed as though we could provide a home for this sociable cat. I documented our experiences fostering Dominique (and Sir Thomas) on this site: a disaster for poor little Mogi.
I then fostered Katy (keeping her in the cellar until shortly before her castration) She is now our cat number three. At first she was the underdog but during her short life she had learnt to accept the fact that she would be bullied. She would get chased out of the living room by Lilly at least 10 times a day but always came back to play with her toys. She still tries to play with Mogi's tail but Mogi doesn't understand so disappears under the bed. Katy now finds it a great game to chase Mogi, but whereas Mogi used to hiss and growl at her she now just hides away. Still, things are much better than they were - I no longer have to keep food, water and a litter box in the bedroom!
Mogi is almost nocturnal – if I get up in the middle of the night she will join me in the smallest room of the house. There she will sit on my lap, drink water from the tap and is purrfectly happy. So, enough about Mogi. What can you do? I have 2 daughters who visit regularly. One has never even seen Mogi. The other made a special effort recently and has been rewarded. Mogi comes out to see her whenever she enters the house and calls her name! It's quite a simple solution – one we use all the time at the Cat Rescue Group. Bribery with cat treats! I suggest you take one or two to bed with you or give them to her only when she's on the sofa. I'm sure she'll come round. Feliway has never helped my cats - even though I used 3 dispensers around the house. It is a method to calm nervous cats so it's worth a try.
Anyway, I wish you luck. but I'm sure things will sort themselves out, even though she may continue to disappear when visitors come.
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- #9
We seem to believe that pedigree cats have a better start in life than their mongrel cousins. However, there are too many people who believe they can make a lot of money fast by breeding pedigrees, sometimes in the most appalling conditions.
Neither Mogi nor Katy have the slightest interest in the great outdoors. I assume both had too much stress in the first few weeks or months of their lives. I am quite happy about this - the road outside is far busier than it was when I first moved here. I will be most surprised if your cat takes to the harness. It is not easy to even put it on a nervous cat let alone get her to go outside with you. If you just leave the door open for a few minutes every day you will soon see whether or not she wants to put her nose outside. If something startles her she will automatically run straight back inside. As far as I can see, the only danger, that she will run in the opposite direction, is if another cat chases her. Lilly once escaped intending to chase another cat who dared to enter our garden, but the intruder was much stronger. He assumed our garden was his territory, attacked Lilly who was then too frightened to come home. We found her hiding in the bushes. She had been bitten but no complications, fortunately.
Still, I wish you luck - by the way Mogi has been much less nervous this weekend. She even followed my grandson (12 yrs) around the house for a couple of treats. I hope it's not simply because Lilly is growing weaker (she has kidney problems) and cannot be bothered to defend her space. At the moment she seems to be her normal self. We will see.
Neither Mogi nor Katy have the slightest interest in the great outdoors. I assume both had too much stress in the first few weeks or months of their lives. I am quite happy about this - the road outside is far busier than it was when I first moved here. I will be most surprised if your cat takes to the harness. It is not easy to even put it on a nervous cat let alone get her to go outside with you. If you just leave the door open for a few minutes every day you will soon see whether or not she wants to put her nose outside. If something startles her she will automatically run straight back inside. As far as I can see, the only danger, that she will run in the opposite direction, is if another cat chases her. Lilly once escaped intending to chase another cat who dared to enter our garden, but the intruder was much stronger. He assumed our garden was his territory, attacked Lilly who was then too frightened to come home. We found her hiding in the bushes. She had been bitten but no complications, fortunately.
Still, I wish you luck - by the way Mogi has been much less nervous this weekend. She even followed my grandson (12 yrs) around the house for a couple of treats. I hope it's not simply because Lilly is growing weaker (she has kidney problems) and cannot be bothered to defend her space. At the moment she seems to be her normal self. We will see.
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- #11
Hello Gilmargl
Your cats sound a bit like my cat, and no, I don't think I will have much luck with a harness, she does like to sit in the window and "knash" her teeth at the birds and I wonder if she would like to be outside but is too afraid to go...She is microchipped because I fear if she did go out and anything frightened her she would shoot off somewhere and I would not be able to find her. Like you said if something startles her she will run straight back indoors. She is safe indoors but after having cats that always went out and had some "fun" I feel a bit sorry for her. I think I will have to get used to a cat that simply does not want to, or is not ready to go out. I do play with her and was thinking of getting a laser light toy, do you, or anyone on forum know whether these laser lights are a good idea or not. I am not a great believer in cat toys , my other cats "toys" were small, furry, outside and alive! (well for a while anyway) Sorry you little cat has kidney problems, my previous cat had kidney problems, I believe it is very common in cats.
How long have you had your kitty, Teddy?
When I adopted Oliver, he refused to come out of his carrier the first day. Stayed under the couch the second. By day three, he would venture out in little spurts, then run back under the couch. After about a week, he was sleeping under my bed. Eventually he started sleeping on it. He pretty much has the run of the place now, but he's still a scaredy cat.
Whenever he hears someone at the door, he runs and hides. He's just recently gotten to the point that if my roommate or my kids come in, he won't run and hide. But I usually have to hold him in place, pet him, and talk to him until he can see it's someone he knows. If I have company, he won't come out until they leave. I opened the window yesterday, since the weather is finally nice; he jumped into the window, then bolted upstairs to hide. I called him back down, placed him back in the window, and he took off running upstairs again. Didn't come down until I closed the windows a while later. No idea what the deal with that is.
When I adopted Oliver, he refused to come out of his carrier the first day. Stayed under the couch the second. By day three, he would venture out in little spurts, then run back under the couch. After about a week, he was sleeping under my bed. Eventually he started sleeping on it. He pretty much has the run of the place now, but he's still a scaredy cat.
Whenever he hears someone at the door, he runs and hides. He's just recently gotten to the point that if my roommate or my kids come in, he won't run and hide. But I usually have to hold him in place, pet him, and talk to him until he can see it's someone he knows. If I have company, he won't come out until they leave. I opened the window yesterday, since the weather is finally nice; he jumped into the window, then bolted upstairs to hide. I called him back down, placed him back in the window, and he took off running upstairs again. Didn't come down until I closed the windows a while later. No idea what the deal with that is.
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- #13
I don't have Teddy anymore, he was the cat I had nineteen years, but he died nearly a year ago.. I got another cat Purdy last October, she is a rescue cat and she is seven years old... She is much better than she was she is the very nervous cat. She is still nervous but not nearly as bad as when I first had her. If anyone comes to my house they wouldn't know I had a cat and she always runs and hides, usually behind the sofa! She is much better with me and when I look back as to how she was when I first got her things have improved. I think she may always be a frightened little soul but as long as she is not frightened of me, that's what matters to me most.
