"Needy phase" or permanent personality trait?

[camellian]

Two months ago, I adopted an adolescent cat, who is now eight months old. And kind of driving me a little nuts.

He wants attention *constantly* -- follows me everywhere winding around my feet, constantly trying to jump on my lap whenever I'm sitting (I've started locking him in the bathroom when I need to actually get work done on anything), and meows his head off if there's a closed door between us.

It's not just me he's like this with -- if I have a guest over he's never met before he's all over them, when we go to the vet he's all over her... he just wants attention sooooo bad it seems like all the other "normal" rules of cat behavior (like being scared/shy with strangers) don't apply.

In some ways it's sweet and endearing, but his constant demands for attention can get annoying after a while... and a cat that sociable can't be happy spending time alone while I'm at work. As a short-term solution, I've taken in a foster cat. I'll be making the intro in a few days once the foster has had time to acclimate, and hopefully having another kitty around will help him to be a little less desperate for attention...

But in the long term... there are going to be times in the future when it is not possible for me to have two cats. And I kind of feel like I owe it to him to start evaluating now (while he's still young and easier to rehome) whether or not he'll be able to handle the kind of life I live (alone, work long hours, and probably won't always be able to have two cats) or whether I need to find him someplace where he can have more people and/or cats around to spend time with.

So... is this kind of frantic-for-attention-can't-stand-to-be-alone behavior possibly a normal phase of his development that he might outgrow, or is this likely to be a permanent personality trait? Can he learn to be more independent, or should I be looking into finding him a home where he won't have to be?

 

[katluver4life]

There is really no way to say for sure if he will always be like this or not. Since he is still a kitten, this does contribute somewhat to this behavior, and cats do tend to settle down as they age. This just may be still so new to him, and he's just so happy, that given time it'll wear off a bit.

There are things you can do to help him find ways to occupy himself. Enriching his environment with window perches, getting him a cat tree, interactive toys, playing with him in a very active way to help wear him out more by making him run, leap for things, ect.

You say that you don't think having 2 cats long term is possible. Mind if I ask why? Of course since you are fostering a second cat, you may learn on your own that having 2 is the perfect number

.

 

[catspaw66]

I have seen cats who were perfectly happy to be an only cat. However, I have found that cats generally do better in pairs or more. Contrary to what most people believe, cats are very social animals and love to interact with their own kind.

I agree that you need to do more interactive play with your kitten. Also, locking him in the bathroom when you 'actually need to get some work done' is counterproductive.

 

[hankandlou]

My new cat does the same thing.  He is very vocal and needy. A couple things I've tried have not worked, ignoring the behavior, I've tried clicker training him to get treats when he is quiet, (which works temporarily) and I'll admit that I have put him in the bedroom with the door shut a couple of times so that I could get a moment of peace.  It's been almost a month now since we've had him and I can tell you that time does help. I've started to just leave dry food out for him all the time, which I know you are not supposed to do but just having the bowl there seems to put him at ease a bit, and he's not constantly meowing at me to be fed. He wont eat it all it's just a security thing.  I also bought a couple of motion activated toys for him that squeak and roll around, something to entertain him while I'm at work. When I get home I dedicate 20 min to a half hour of interactive play time with him. I feel like he is starting to calm down and finally feel comfortable here.  I have hope for him now, two weeks ago I was pulling my hair out.

 

[goholistic]

It's hard to say. My Sebastian is a "needy" cat. When I first adopted him (as a senior!), he was driving me crazy. I have two other cats in the house, but it doesn't change the amount of attention he wants to give me. He was doing (and still does do) all the things you are describing in your cat. I was so used to Boo who is very independent and only wants attention on his terms. It did annoy me for awhile, but then it grew on me, and then I realized I loved having him around. I do trip over him from time-to-time because he is always right under my feet. When he's not wanting attention or coming to me, then I know something is wrong, so his it has been very helpful in that respect (he has medical issues).

If you make a spot on top of your desk with a small blanket or shallow box lid, he may like to just sit there quietly while you work, rather than being on your lap, which I know is restricting. I do this for two of my cats who like to get up on the desk while I'm on the computer. It keeps them off the keyboard! They're happy and I'm not being bugged.  

  When I'm reading something, sorting through mail, or any task at length that doesn't require a computer, I will sit on floor. They just love when I am down at their level and content to simply sit next to me as I give them the occasional pet.

I think you and he need more time. His behavior may or may not subside a little as he gets older and becomes accustomed to his new home. You may also find over time that his love is not so bad after all. 

  I hope you'll give him a chance.