Needing some non cat related advice

[brocken]

The Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance has an online forum for family and friends: http://www.dbsalliance.org/Forums.html

It may be useful to contact a support group in your area: http://www.dbsalliance.org/info/findsupport.html
Many hospitals with mental health programs will have support groups for family and friends as well.

Articles on suicide at the National Institute of Mental Health: http://www.nimh.nih.gov/research/suicide.cfm

A suicide FAQ: http://www.intelihealth.com/IH/ihtIH...2337&p=~br,IHC|~st,8596|~r,EMIHC270|~b,*|&d=dmtContent

Some years ago, a college friend of mine who had started working in psychiatry told me that the development of psychiatry now is where physical medicine was 50-100 years ago (in the Western medical tradition). We are at a turning point of uncovering all the mechanisms of mental health, with informed effective therapies sure to follow. In clinical depression research, the equivalent of isolating the polio virus is happening right about now.

This means that the treatments currently available are good, and should only get better. Of course there are no absolute guarantees, but we're moving many forms of depression away from creating a permanent crisis state in people's lives and towards the day-to-day manageability of an insulin regimen. Hopefully this allows for enough of a qualitative difference that people with depression can now have a fair chance at leading a happy, productive, "normal" life.

 

[ttmom]

Some years ago, a college friend of mine who had started working in psychiatry told me that the development of psychiatry now is where physical medicine was 50-100 years ago (in the Western medical tradition).

Boy! Ain't that the truth! This is what I can't understand, you have someone who is depressed and has a lousy self-image so you give them medications that do what? Lose their sex drive and cause them to gain weight! Blech!

Actually, not all the meds are like that anymore, but the most common ones are. I went through all the ADs and Mood Stabilizers before we found ones that worked that I wasn't allergic to and that made me feel like me. That's the hardest part about treatment, getting the right treatment.

 

[adymarie]

Shell, listening to him was a great 1st step. I used to work in a group home with people with psychiatric illnesses. I know it is scary to deal with when you don't have experience with this illness. That he told you speaks a great deal to the trust he has in you. Don't feel bad for not hugging him, you were on overload. I would suggest however that you tell him, either in person, on the phone or via e-mail, that it meant alot to you that he trusted you with this. Most importantly be honest to him about your thoughts and confusion. Let him know that you care for him, but that you may need some time to come to understand what he is going through. He will respect you for your honesty. If you try to hide what you are feeling, he will sense it. Just remember. He is an ordinary guy with a common illness. He acknowledges the illness and is working to treat it. His illness doesn't change the person you know into something new and frightening, just unknown.

Good luck and if you need to chat, just PM me.

 

[hell603]

Shell you are wonderful person/friend.

But you also have to evaluate the flip side namely how this will affect you. You need to see if you are able to deal with this in the long run, because it won't be easy, nothing is easy if emotions are involved. You need to be able to pull back if this relationship is negatively affecting your own life and that will be the hardest thing you will ever do.

I hope you will be able to make this work. He is sure lucky to have you!!!!!!!

 

[hissy]

Living with someone who is chronically depressed can be very draining for a healthy individual. Caught up (without trying to be) in the "me" syndrome, everything will go back to that person because life is simply to overwhelming for them to look beyond that point. It speaks a lot of your relationship with Ric that he told you, and although you don't want this to affect how you feel about it, how can it not? If you take it to the next level (let's say) and get engaged, and then married, then "till death do us part" takes a scary edge.

It can be controlled with the right medication. If the person stays on the meds and it doesn't mean the person is lacking in anything, it is usually a chemical imbalance or the result of being through something traumatic and not being able to get past it. If he is the man of your dreams, then you go forward with him fully armed with information about this disease. But if he is not, then safeguard your heart and start stepping away. I sense you are strong person, but even the strongest heart can be challenged with a disease like depression so you have to ask yourself, what is it you want to do- and then go about that decision with gentleness and firmness and not give this poor individual anything else to be depressed about. It is not an easy choice- I wish you the best.