Need to rehome my maine coon and dont know where to start

[ambernicole]

Sashasmama..I feel your pain. I am going through a similar situation...except my oldest cat has turned on me! I'm trying everything I can, but I walk around on eggshells. It's so frustrating. I know that it can get overwhelming when you receive negative responses about re-homing them, but it's also so tiring and stressful trying to remedy the situation...especially when you feel like you've tried everything. I hope things get better for you!

 

 

[just mike]

I'm really sorry you're going through all this Sashasmama.  I know it's not easy for you.  First off, take some deep breaths and give yourself a break here.  Okay, now, reintroduction can take weeks to accomplish.  I've read all the advice given so far and all of it has been good.  Unfortunately it does not happen overnight. 

I've read so many responses I don't know if anyone suggested trying this in addition to the other suggestions.  Get a wire dog crate.  Not a tiny one.  Put the crate in the middle of the room you spend time in during the evenings most.  Where you watch tv, read etc.  Put her in the crate for an hour and let the other cats look her over.  Let them get the hissing and growling out of the way.  Then put the other cat(s) in the crate for an hour and let her roam the house by herself.  Then put her back in her "safe" room and repeat the next day.  You can do this more than once a day too if yo have the time.  Once in the morning and once in the evening would be beneficial.  Allow them to slowly get used to each other again. 

Along with many of the suggestions already posted, this method has always been successful for me.  Best of luck to you!
 

 

[sashasmama]

I have thought about the crate I didnt know if that would be a good idea or put more stress on her. I was gonna use her carrier it is big medium dog size and thought about trying that or maybe a harness leash. But I will find a crate I actually think I still may have one from my dog in the garage

 

[hersheys mom]

Please don't be angry with JennyRanson or Rad65 - their comments about giving up was not meant to be mean. They, and the others, are trying to help you find ways to keep your baby and end the fighting. I am new to this site, but I notice a great many folk here are more than willing to bend over backwards to help you. Feralvr and I have exchanged posts on the Ferals site, and I got a lot of great advice from her. I found all the folk on the Feral site wise and friendly, but the Breeders Corner was another story. Sometimes we take what people say as negative or mean when it is not meant to be. I am guilty of this myself as I took most of what the folk in the Breeders Corner said to be mean, when they were just trying to be honest. It was the way they phrased their ideas. So bare with us because we really care. As for your Sasha, it sounds like you have a relationship with her like I had with my late Hershey. It goes beyond pet/human, which is something I can really relate to. You said you had Sasha on anti-depressants. Have you talked with your vet about putting the other cats you are having problems with on anti-anxiety medication? I am not pushing drugs, but I definitely did see a difference in my feral after putting her on low dosages of Xanax. Maybe it will calm them down enough to make the re-introductions easier. Good luck to you. I know what it is like to lose a beloved four-legged "child". I lost mine in June to brain cancer, and I still cry for her everyday. If there is any chance you can work things out so you can keep Sasha, and these folk have some great ideas on how to possibly do that, please try them out. We know you are hurting. Most of us have been there. We are trying to help. If you read the box (you know, the fine print you need a magnifying glass to read) on Feliway it does say it can take 3 months for it to be effective. And I can understand the frustration of keeping Sasha in a small room as my feral is in my office which is rather small. She was fostered for 2 moths before I got her in September. That would make it 4 1/2 months since she was introduced to humans, yet you still can't attempt to touch her without coming close to losing a finger or your entire hand. Yet I can feed her from my hand and interactive play with her, but not touch her. Cats do things on their own terms, and while we can try to help them, they will come around when THEY want, not when we want them too. I think the 5 month estimate one of the posters here gave you was very reasonable. My feral was fostered with two other cats. When I got her, I all ready had a Tortie. After 2 months I opened the door to her room and put up a latice fence so both cats can see and smell each other. So far so good. But when I didn't close the door all the way (thought I did but I was wrong) the feral stepped out into the hallway. Immediately the Tortie started to chase her all over the house. Fortunately, I managed to get her away and the feral ran right back into her "safe" room. Now the Tortie will just look through the latice door and walk away. No hissing or agression, just passes by. I figure it will take another 3 months before I can pet the feral. Once she can accept my touch, it will be time to introduce them. I will then be going through what all these kind folk are suggesting regarding introducing the cats. It is a great deal of work cleaning two litter boxes, feeding two cats in two different rooms, both of which eat different types of food, cleaning each room, etc. It can take its toll on you, especially if you have a family and no one is helping out. I am single, and most days have the time to deal with the cats or I never would have adopted a second one, especially a feral. But there are days when I want to pull my hair out too. Try to find something to calm YOUR nerves down, you need rest too. Sometimes herb tea works, especially catnip tea (yes, I'm serious, catnip is not just for cats). Try to find some time for yourself, even if it is just a soak in a bubble bath. You sound like you could use a little self-pampering after all the stress you are going through. Try to hang in there, give these ladies suggestions a try, be patient, and be good to yourself. You can't help your kitties if you stress out to the max.

Lei-Ann, a newbie who can't thank some of these posters enough for their advice

 Blessed be.

 

[hersheys mom]

I wasn't aware Jackson had his own line of essenses. I have been using Bach's. To be truthful, I found the Feliway to be much more successful than Bach's. Maybe I should give Jackson's a chance - I have a feral and a Tortie to introduce..........

Lei Ann

 

[hersheys mom]

Whoa, Bastfriend, you may have hit the nail on the head here! I have that reaction to Lorazepam, which is supposed to tranquilize you. I go into a rage if given this drug. My suggestion would be Xanax, seems to work fine in .125 dose 3 xs day on my feral. Again, do not stop giving this drug suddenly if you put your kitty on it. It can cause seizures or death if suddenly stopped. You need to taper her off any anti-anxiety or anti-depressant drug. This drug has had no side effects on me (I have panic/anxiety disorder) and I have been on it for years, and seems to have no side effects on Hershey Rose either. Now, if they would just come up with a "no bite" drug for kitties..........

Lei-Ann

 

[sashasmama]

I had her amptriphylen or whatever refilled I will start to wean her off it. I am seeing some progress though i thought i had her locked up and obviously didnt shut the door all the way she came into the room where the other cats are walked around jumped on the bed and i tensed more then the cats blanket in hand she laid down for like 5 minutes and then left the room no fights. I think i stopped breathing for like 5 minutes but she didnt fight so maybe we are getting there....

 

[whollycat]

I had her amptriphylen or whatever refilled I will start to wean her off it. I am seeing some progress though i thought i had her locked up and obviously didnt shut the door all the way she came into the room where the other cats are walked around jumped on the bed and i tensed more then the cats blanket in hand she laid down for like 5 minutes and then left the room no fights. I think i stopped breathing for like 5 minutes but she didnt fight so maybe we are getting there....

Regarding the amitriptyline, if you haven't, talk to your vet about how to wean her off this so that you do it safely.

A supplement that can help calm kitties is L-Theanine (the link will show you what I'm talking about). I've had great success using this for all sorts of behavior problems. I even use it for myself.

  L-Theanine has a calming effect--including on kitties. A general rule of thumb for kitties is 25mg 2 times a day mixed in food. Neither I nor my kitties have had any side effects other than its intended purpose--too help calm them (and me) when they are stressed. I prefer this much more than using a drug like amitriptyline, and its crummy side-effects, but everyone is different. Just sayin' that it might be worth a try--for ALL your kitties during this stressful time. If you decide to try this, I would wait until you've weaned her off the amitriptyline first.

It is awesome that you've seen a bit of progress!

One tip that has been given that has worked wonders for my kitties (after a vet visit especially--and especially since your kitty's spay surgery after all this time) is using a towel or sock to swap scents--rub the sock on the cheek areas, since this is an area that has scent glands, but also their body. Just go from kitty to kitty to kitty, etc...and repeat. I would do this 3-5 times a day if you can.

Kitties are SO scent oriented, so the above can be especially helpful. Bedding and all that can be helpful, but actually transferring scents with a sock makes them all start to smell the same to each other. Just me, but I would even rub the sock on bedding, etc. after doing this on the kitties.

I bet her former litter mate (and the other kitties) are used to how she smelled before her surgery. Most especially since it was a surgery that effects the hormones she puts out and is probably exacerbating the situation. So, it's probably that she smells way more different than if she had been spayed years ago as opposed to recently. Her urine probably has quite a different smell compared to before her surgery. I would start mixing small to medium bits of urine clumps together to mingle them in the litter box. Just leave the "mixture" behind when you clean the boxes. I know, it sounds quite unsanitary

, but it just may help because I'm sure her urine is smelling way different without all the hormones in it now.

A lot of why she smells so differently (and may act a bit differently), I suspect, is because she was an intact girly and now isn't. She's been putting out way different hormones (scent glands, urine) all these years, so it will take time for the others to get used to this not-so-new "newcomer." Patience (and lots of loving) will be key in this, but should pay off big time in the end.

Plus, your sweet girl is still adjusting to her new status as a spayed female without the raging hormones. She's probably not sure what the heck is going on. Time will help her adapt to her new world.

Sending lots of prayers and positive vibes for you all.

Quick question: Are all your other kitties spayed/neutered?

 

[bastfriend]

Sashasmama, I'm so glad to hear of signs of improvement!!!!  

Also glad you are going to wean the amitriptyline, but make sure you go really slow like over the course of a week or two weeks take the amount down by eights of a pill.  My human friend with the amitriptyline problem had a very hard time getting off of it but she was on it for a couple of years.

 

[aunty ehm]

Sashasmama, wow you and Sasha (and the gang) have really been through the fire on this one.  Bravo to YOU for continuing to work so hard at making progress; despite feeling stress, heartache, worry, and being ill. 

I LOVE Jackson Galaxy (Animal Planet) and was also going to suggest his essences.  I just received a supply of "Scaredy Cat" for one of my babies.  I have to keep her in a separate room as well, though for different reasons.  She's a foster and is painfully shy.  It took her 3 weeks just to come out from under the bed, and it's taken her almost 3 months to come up to me on her own to be loved and petted. 

I was going to suggest actually writing to Jackson Galaxy or his show and trying to see if he will come help you.  (It's what he does).  But, it does sound like there has already been some progress - no doubt because of all the hard effort you've put into it, and due somewhat simply to progression of Sasha's healing and readjusting. 

It's SO difficult when our babies go through trauma.  My oldest just went to the "Rainbow Bridge" yesterday; my other 3 had started to really pick on him about a month ago.  Someone above suggested that cats attack when they know another is weakened.  This is possibly what was going on in my house as well. 

I'm really impressed with the responses and the GREAT info and advice that has been offered.  I've read several cat behavior & training books and the advice that's been given follows what I've read (and found to work). 

PLEASE hang in there!  Sasha is SO beautiful and obviously she loves you dearly (as do all your furbabies).  It's obvious you love them all as well.  I believe in you, and I believe this can still work.  You are so very strong (though you may not always feel you are) to have put this effort into helping your sweet girl.  Your cat "pride" will be much stronger and you much happier if you/we/your kitties can get this to work.  :-)  You're an AWESOME cat-mom!!!  Tell yourself that - and believe it.  It's true!
 

 

[cookimonster]

Good. Job! I hope things can settle down for Sasha, onyx, midnight, cuddles and you.

 

[raintyger]

Hi sashasmama,

It looks like you've gotten a lot of good advice.

It seems you're a bit confused about why Sasha and her roommates don't get along even though everything was fine before. Some others have pointed out it is probably a scent issue, and I agree. To a cat smelling--and not seeing--is believing. Sasha's kittymates probably think Sasha went away and was replaced by another vaguely similar but altogether different cat.

I can't give much advice on reintroduction, but I will say that the advice I've gotten and read on The Cat Site is very good. The members are very knowledgeable and make every effort to help others out.
 

Best of luck. Sasha is lucky to have a dedicated kitty mama like you.

 

[sashasmama]

Yea she was gone for over 24 hours and then for 2 days she kept to herself so they probably think it is a new cat. Maybe my midnight just accepted her quicker cause he is male. I have faith we can get there and that I can sleep in my bed again. She is like a new cat she is more affectionate now and will almost like hug me when I lay down she put her paw on my face. She wouldnt even let us hold her before. Like i said these are my first cats so its been a big time trial and error. But with advice and support I can do this. I dont get support at home I get oh i forgot the cat was in the room oh i forgot she cant be with anyone else. But one step at a time

 

[raintyger]

Yea!!!!

I did think of one thing that might help, especially since now Sasha has shown she likes you--

We had to board a cat once. It was still a kitten and somewhat scared. After a day or two we took an old t-shirt that I had worn and gave it to the boarding facility, instructing them to put it in her cage for her to sleep with. They said she calmed down with the t-shirt. Probably due to a familiar scent.