Need to rehome my maine coon and dont know where to start

[tjcarst]

The separation needs to be for many days, perhaps longer.  Hang in there.  I hope you feel better soon.  The flu sucks!

 

[rad65]

Cats are territorial. Your cats are fighting because they all think they own the territory and are fighting off intruders. They think this because they can smell themselves as well as a foreign cat. For this separation to work, you can't ever let Sasha out of the room until you are ready to reintroduce them. You can't have them switch between who gets locked up and who gets to roam free because cats judge all of this based on smell, and Sasha is going to mark up everything with her scent the second she gets out there, which cancels out all of this semi-separation you are doing.

You need to commit to separation and stay strong. Sasha should be shut in the same room for the entire reintroduction time. It is entirely possible that she will be shut in that room for weeks. Yes, this is going to upset her, but it is necessary. You can't cave in to her whining or you will have no choice but to rehome her because the problems will never go away. You have only committed halfway to this reintroduction. I will tell you right now that if you don't commit 100% then you might as well not even waste the time trying, and start looking for another home for Sasha.

 

[sashasmama]

Well I have had enough people make me feel worse then I already do and I will ask for this post to be removed since I do not know how to do it. I am doing everything by the book and wont be judged. I have spent hours reading on how to do this and try each suggestion given by each article. I have been doing what members suggested here. But apparently some members would rather be mean then understanding...i hope to those you do not have to go through this.

 

[tjcarst]

No one is judging you, just trying to help.   It really could take time and patience to get them all to get along again.

This post could be useful to others facing similar difficulties. 

Hoping you are feeling better from the flu.  {{HUGS}}

 

[sashasmama]

I know one day at a time...tomorrow I am home so I will try locking the 2 cats in sashas room and her in there room but I dont know how well that will work cause they wont even go near her blanket they walk around it

 

[rad65]

I wasn't trying to sound judgmental, if that's what you think. I read all of your posts and saw that in every one of them you mention finding a new home for Sasha and how much that would upset you, but you hadn't done the proper by-the-book reintroduction that was mentioned. You said in your last post that you didn't think what you were doing was ever going to work, so I was just explaining exactly what you have to do in order to get a full-on reintroduction to work.

I didn't mean to say that you were giving half the effort that you should; I meant that your technique is not effective because of the overlapping smells, which makes the technique halfway committed and therefore not effective. You could pour 110% of your energy into your current way of separating them, but it won't work. This is really an all or nothing type of circumstance at this point, since a single slip up can ruin all the progress you have made and cause you to have to start separation all over again.

 

[peachesxo]

If you keep switching their rooms back and fourth this early they are going to hate eachother even more, that is not the proper way to start this process. You need to confine Sasha to ONE room and keep her there as though she was sick and in quarantine, then after a week or two you can start the scent swapping again, but for now you need to treat the situation as though she has a highly infectious disease that the other cats cannot come in contact with- that means keeping them away from her and her room/things.

I am going through the same thing with my cat and new kitten who actually is sick with something very contagious. At first my cat knew some intruder was around and wanted to find her/ destroy her. Its been almost 3 weeks now and they have yet to meet, but he lays outside her door purring and trying to play under the door with her. They will not meet till December still, but I am already confident they will be besties because the process is being drawn out so long due to her illness. Patience is a virtue.

 

[sashasmama]

this early? I have been doing this for 6 weeks. If you think you can do better please do it. I am not trying to sound rude but I have a small house and the room sasha is in is the spare room and doesnt have alot of room to move she wont use the litter box in there she holds it up to 16 hours till I let her out to use the other one. She is finally drinking and eating in there but i have to let her stretch its not fair to her that she doesnt have alot of room but  i dont have another room to put her in.

 

[peachesxo]

You don't need to get snappy. You made this thread asking for help and everyone is trying to give it to you so yet another senior cat doesn't end up at a shelter, but you don't seem to want to follow the proper steps needed to meet your goal and get upset when we tell you what you need to do/are doing wrong. I said "this early" because if you really want to make it work you need to start the reintroduction again from square 1 as everyone including myself has stated multiple times throughout this thread. Your trying to do too much too fast. Forget about the past 6 weeks, it's time to go back to the beginning if you want to do it properly, and it's gonna take patience and time. Weeks, possibly months, but definitely not days. Keep her in the room, she will eventually use that litter box, but maybe it needs a good clean in case it smells like the other cats. I live in a small 1 bedroom apartment and am doing it just fine so I believe you can, too. It is not what she is used to so of course she will be upset for a bit, but keeping her in a small room at home in order to give this a real chance at working is a lot "fairer" to her than sending her to a small cage at a crowded shelter... Just saying.

 

[sashasmama]

First I am snappy cause the last few have been mean and judgemental. I didnt do this to my cat I got her a year ago and one never had cats before 2 didnt know they could get pyometra 3 have done my 

best to make sure everyone is happy without help from my stepson or boyfriend. Rest assured if this doesnt get resolved she will not go to a shelter she will live seperated here or I will find her a home. Everyone and the articles all say different things I am trying them all. I have all brought in 2 cats since i have lived here and didnt have to introduce them they got along after a week never fighting like this. This is eating me up trying to fix this. I loose sleep I am not giving all animals attention like I should cause i spend all my time in a room with sasha. I dont even sleep in my bed at night and have been sick but I dont want her to be alone. Dont judge me...I am trying here and it is hard to convey over the internet whats happening. I am going to look into behaviorist for cats and see if i can find someone to help. I have even emailed jackson galaxy begging for help. I just think if she can accept 2 cats with no problem she can accept them all. I still think her hormones are out of whack.I wont let her go to a shelter and i said that in my first post

 

[rosiemac]

Lets all take a breather! 

We can see that you want them to get back to how they were, but it's all about patience and going back to basics. I had to do it with two of mine over a year ago.

Remember as well,  if your stressed the cats are going to pick up on it, so you need to stay calm and relaxed and then they'll be the same

Don't give up yet , and you may not think it right now but we're all here to help you 

 

[bastfriend]

Hi Sashasmama, I've got a lot of ideas popping around in my head about your situation so I'm going to write them all down and I hope something helps.  I'm sorry you are going through this - it is really hard to feel you may have to find a new home for a cat you love and have made a lifetime commitment to.

1.  My strongest gut instinct is that Sasha has residual pain from her condition or a complication from the surgery.   What checkups have you had done since the surgery?   Have you given her buprenorphine and observed how her behavior changes?   

2. Next up, unforseen side effects of medication.  Many medications have psychological side effects and vets as well as people doctors are notoriously bad about full disclosure on this.  What are you giving her regularly right now?

3. And if not 1 or 2, I would agree with others here that just keeping Sasha in isolation for a while with her own litterbox and making no attempts at reintroducing for a few weeks is needed.  It gives her more time to heal and takes the pressure off of you to make things work.   I saw your post that she won't use the litterbox in this room, hopefully she will when she realizes it is her only option.   Also continuous isolation will give you a chance to monitor in detail her eating, drinking and litter box behavior so if she does have a medical problem (again my instinct says yes here) you can catch it or bring symptoms to the vet.    Also consider a second veterinary opinion.

I wish you lots and lots of luck with this.  I remember when behavior problems had me thinking about rehoming two cats that were like children to me once, it is wrenching.  So my advice rule out medical things and give yourself some space and time.   Good luck!
 

 

[sashasmama]

I am currently every morning giving her antriptyline ( i think that was spelled right) I make sure to stick it in her food when i know she is starving so i know she takes it. She was on that bupernorphine but that has been done for weeks. I am almost out of the antriptyline so I need to call the vet. Physically sasha is fine she healed well and is better there mentally she is broke. we did make it through the night though without crying thank god as i sleep with her so she is not lonely but I know i cant sleep with her forever. I have been non stop reading articles trying to come up with a good strategy. My vet almost says to just let them fight it out but it gets so violent i cant. I guess where i get most defensive is I dont understand why she is accepting of 2 she never liked but her littermate and other cat she hates. I wish i knew what happened that day i left to break there bonds but I will never know.

 

[jennyr]

Just catching up with this thread and I am so sorry you have not yet found a solution, I know how frustrating it is to have what seems to be an 'insoluble' problem. You have already received much advice (including mine when I am really sorry if you thought I was accusing as that was never my intention) so I will not give any more, but just wish you courage and many vibes. I think everyone is racking their brains to think of something, and I know it must be confusing. Good luck.

 

[tjcarst]

Please also remember sashasmama has the flu.  I am sure she is tired, worn out, and really just wants her happy home back.  When I am sick, I have absolutely no patience...

sashasmama - cats can live in pretty small areas.  I am sure your spare bedroom will be just fine.  Perhaps try switching the litterboxes?  Maybe it is the other litterbox she likes?

Most cats don't like their food close to their litterbox.  Do you have enough room to keep the food and water separated by 5 or more feet?

 

[sashasmama]

I rearranged the room today for her to give her more space. I was able to elevate the food way above the litterbox and give her room to walk and stretch. I put her back in and she jumped on the bed laid down and is asleep. No fight or crying about being in there.

Day 3 of the flu but finally broke my fever and slept thru the night so one day at a time for sasha and me

 

[lisa25177]

I just found this thread and thought I'd suggest using the Jackson Galaxy products, Spirit Essences.  I haven't used them but am thinking of ordering some to help two of my cats get along.  The re-introduction is important, but maybe these products can help soothe them until then.  You can find them here: http://www.spiritessences.com/default.asp  and here: http://www.abesmarket.com/natural-p...atural-cat-remedies.html?udropship_vendor=809

It looks like the prices are the same, but the S&H charges may vary.  I know it says free shipping with a $49 purchase from Abe's Market, and you should Google for discount codes, too.  Hope these help.  Perhaps others out there have used them?

 

[feralvr]

..I wont give up without a fight I love her so much and these being the first cats i ever had ( i am 33) I just dont understand why after being with them for 6 years she cant be with them. I will continue the blanket bed switching. Tomorrow when I am home more I will try the put sasha in the room they are mainly in and them in her safe room for a few hours each day. One step at a time. She is my girl I have nursed her back this far now I want to sit down with all them and explain its ok and help them all but when i do they just stare at me

You know..... You might be trying TOO hard. :dk: I wonder if the cats are cluing in on your stress over the situation. I know you said your place is small, but I think at this point, I would stop trying and confine Sasha to that room for a couple of weeks. Maybe all of the room switching is putting more pressure on them. I am just not sure. But want you to know, I empathize with you and completely understand this dilemma. Personally, I want to say sorry for anyone who might have offended you. I think people are trying to help but sometimes the words don't come out right and you are so emotionally drained from these past six weeks. Totally understandable. I am sending you MEGA MEGA vibes that things between the cats will work out, in time. Whatever you decide, we are here for you.

 

[sashasmama]

That I am I am stressed and I know they sense it they have all become extra clingly and needy. Sasha cries for hours in that room it breaks my heart. Its like a why me cry. The other 2 stay in the room and you dont hear from them at all. She looks at me with big eyes and meows and I loose it. I hope I can get it together and your right I am probably trying to hard and praying to hard for a miracle. Sasha probably thinks i am a crazy person I know the others do. I am hoping by december it will get better...

 

[bastfriend]

Hi Sashasmama, bingo!   I believe the name of your drug is amitriptyline and I would bet money that this drug is perpetuating if not now causing the problem.   This drug in humans and in animals occasionally has the side effect of increasing aggression - the very thing it is being prescribed to fix.   I'm not a vet and just some person on the internet I know, but I encourage you to consider this possibility.  I actually know a real live human who had the aggression reaction to this drug at low dosage.   This is also a drug that will cause behavior problems if stopped abruptly so she'll have to be weaned off of it slowly over say a week.   If psychiatric drugs are necessary there are other options out there like Prozac but maybe wait and see who she is when off the amitriptyline.

Here's a quote from a site for veterinary use of amitriptyline:

"Side Effects

• The most common side effects are sedation, constipation and urinary retention.
• Less common side effects include paroxysmal hyper-excitability, or disinhibition of aggression, cardiac arrhythmias, bone marrow suppression, gastro-intestinal disorders including vomiting diarrhea, anorexia, and ataxia or disorientation."

http://www.wedgewoodpetrx.com/learn...ographs/amitriptyline-for-veterinary-use.html