Need to rehome my maine coon and dont know where to start

[sashasmama]

As I write this i cry and cry. I have a female maine coon named sasha. She is 8. Sasha was acquired by my boyfriend 6 years ago with another cat. He never spayed her but had her declawed. 5 weeks ago sasha became sick and had pyometra. We had to do emergency surgery she is now spayed. She became aggresssive at first but has calmed down 100 percent. They say its a 6 week adjusment for the hormones...like going through menopause. She is now not accepted by the cat she grew up with or our calico. I have to keep her seperated for like 18 hours a day. I sleep with her at night so she isnt alone but I think the best thing is finding her a new home. One where she can be loved all the time and not walk around watching and waiting for an attack. She loves our male cat midnight she looks for him. She doesnt mind our cocker spaniel and she has grown to relove our minpin and follow him around. This breaks my heart I love her so much and care so much and hate to rehome her but for everyones sake it is what is best....I have never had to rehome a cat and dont know how to do this. I need advice and help. As she sleeps out here with me in a box (she loves boxes) i cry harder. I want to find her a home where she will be loved that will be her forever home and she will not be on edge. She is loved her so much but everytime a fight happens my heart breaks a bit more...I am in illinois in lockport. I wont take her to a shelter she has never seen a cage and wont. But I need help...

Thanks ahead of time

 

[AbbysMom]

I'm so sorry that you are dealing with this.

If you agree, I'd like to move this thread to our Behavior forum so our members can give you advice on how to get them to get along. We have some very knowledgeable members that could help. It could make a difference. It would be worth a shot in my opinion just on the chance you wouldn't have to remove her.

 

[sashasmama]

I have tried all suggestions and nothing has worked.

I dont know what else to do

 

[AbbysMom]

Ok, we're moving this bread to Behavior, so lets hear your best suggestions everyone!


Good luck sashasmama!

 

[carolina]

I have tried all suggestions and nothing has worked.

I dont know what else to do

What exactly have you tried this far? Just so we know?
I would like to think she IS on her forever home :rub:..... There are reasons why she became aggressive..... Being sick and in pain will do that - Pyometra is not easy on a cat; it is very very serious . I will bet pain and discomfort were much more of a reason for her aggression than hormones :nod:

Also when a cat is sick, others will notice and will tend to attack - this will explain why your cat started to attack her.
Bringing her 100% back to health and a complete slow introduction - starting from ground 0, IMHO will give you huge chances of solving this problem and keeping your girl.....

 

[sashasmama]

Sasha associates onyx and cuddles now as the enemy and paces when she senses they are near. the minute one sees the other its game on. They go for the kill. This will make me a horrible pet owner for saying this but sometimes i almost think she would have been better off being put down instead of this suffering and drama she faces everyday. I wish i had a wand to make this better. I loose sleep I havent slept in my bed in weeks cause when she cries i cry. I hate this and dont know what to do. I have had them attempt to eat together I have put them in the rooms the other cat was in so they could get used to the scent again. I have tried the felliway stuff it doesnt way stuff it doesnt work. I have drugged her she gets an antidepressant daily. I have had them all out but it is just fighting fighting fighting.

 

[carolina]

Sasha associates onyx and cuddles now as the enemy and paces when she senses they are near. the minute one sees the other its game on. They go for the kill. This will make me a horrible pet owner for saying this but sometimes i almost think she would have been better off being put down instead of this suffering and drama she faces everyday. I wish i had a wand to make this better. I loose sleep I havent slept in my bed in weeks cause when she cries i cry. I hate this and dont know what to do. I have had them attempt to eat together I have put them in the rooms the other cat was in so they could get used to the scent again. I have tried the felliway stuff it doesnt way stuff it doesnt work. I have drugged her she gets an antidepressant daily. I have had them all out but it is just fighting fighting fighting.

It doesn't sound like you reintroduced them again - when I say reintroduce them, I mean as though you were bringing a brand new cat home for the very first time. You need to treat this as though she was just coming home. Be ready for making this a process - it can take weeks. You need to follow their lead..... But introductions and re-introductions do work
This will take time and work, but it does work.

http://www.thecatsite.com/a/introducing-cats-to-cats

Here is one on breaking up cat fights http://www.thecatsite.com/a/breaking-up-cat-fights

 

[sashasmama]

winter 004.JPG

• sashasmama
• Nov 1, 2012

How do i make Sasha remember this is her friend not the enemy and love her again?

 

[carolina]

winter 004.JPG

• sashasmama
• Nov 1, 2012

How do i make Sasha remember this is her friend not the enemy and love her again?

Again, you need to reintroduce them.

 

[missymotus]

If you do need to rehome her your first step would be to contact the breeder, most contracts state the cat is not to be rehomed without the breeder knowing  Even if she's now retired, most are still contactable and interested in their kittens. 

Lucky you caught the Pyo in time as it can be deadly, and amazing she lasted so many years being entire before getting ill. Her hormones should be pretty settled now, but she did go through quite an ordeal. 

Slowly re-introduce them, info is in the links Carolina posted. It may take weeks or months for them to get along again. 

 

[jennyr]

I am rry you are going through this. The reason they stopped getting along is probably because Sasha smelled different when she came back. Then it has escalated from there. So yes, re-introduce them Try to get them smelling hte same and used to each other's smell by exchanging bedding, and even by dabbing them with vanilla extract. It is a terrible shame to give up on them.

 

[sashasmama]

First I am not giving up...that's not fair...I have tried switching rooms I have tried leaving sashas bed where the other cats can smell it and they are afraid of it. I have tried letting them eat together and the diffuser. I don't sleep with my husband at night I sleep with sasha. I let sasha see the othe cats today and have a bite mark on my arm from her trying to get past me and attack after cuddles growled and hissed at her. I am doing my best but I am doing this alone my family members aren't helping. I don't understand why there is this hatred but I am reaching breaking point and don't know what else to do.

 

[carolina]

First I am not giving up...that's not fair...I have tried switching rooms I have tried leaving sashas bed where the other cats can smell it and they are afraid of it. I have tried letting them eat together and the diffuser. I don't sleep with my husband at night I sleep with sasha. I let sasha see the othe cats today and have a bite mark on my arm from her trying to get past me and attack after cuddles growled and hissed at her. I am doing my best but I am doing this alone my family members aren't helping. I don't understand why there is this hatred but I am reaching breaking point and don't know what else to do.

Sashasmamma, you need to read that article and really start from the very beginning..... Separate them completely, start the scent exchange, do the complete introduction as though they never met before. Not do it for a couple of day, not a couple of times.... Not separate them 18 hours - separate them 24x7, and start over.
You need to completely start over here if you want this to work - from ground 0.
Do it again - put her in another room, no contact, then start the scent exchange as per the article. Only after the scent exchange when there is NO negative reaction, you will let them see each other, supervised. Put feliway diffusers in both rooms - her room and the room where the other kitty is.
Do this very slowly, take your time.
It will take weeks and weeks, not a day. But you have to do this if you want it to work.......

 

[feralvr]

First I am not giving up...that's not fair...I have tried switching rooms I have tried leaving sashas bed where the other cats can smell it and they are afraid of it. I have tried letting them eat together and the diffuser. I don't sleep with my husband at night I sleep with sasha. I let sasha see the othe cats today and have a bite mark on my arm from her trying to get past me and attack after cuddles growled and hissed at her. I am doing my best but I am doing this alone my family members aren't helping. I don't understand why there is this hatred but I am reaching breaking point and don't know what else to do.

Hi Sashasmama I am sorry you are going through this. This is a very emotional and upsetting thing for you to be dealing with. My heart goes out to you. :heart3: Unfortunately, this happens a lot with cats who have been to the vet all day for surgeries and then come home. It is like introducing a brand new cat. I totally understand your predicament and understand that this might not ever get back to the way it was before. It does happen but there are steps that can be taken before making that decision. Set up a safe room to use for Sasha part-time and for the other two part-time. Have them rotate being confined. Sasha for a week, then the other two for a week. This will give them the opportunity to get their smells back on each other AND one or the other won't feel that they are being barred from the rest of the house. Rub Sasha with a sock and then rub her smell on the other two and visa versa. Put urine clumps from Sasha into the others litter box and visa versa. When you swap them out of the safe room, leave some urine/poop in the litter box. This could work and it could not work. But it is worth a try since you love her so much. Sometimes when an older cat like Sasha goes through something so traumatic like that, she is changed for a long time. It could take her quite some time to fully recover emotionally and physically. It is best to keep her away from the other two until she is feeling 100%. The other two sense that Sasha is just not Sasha anymore, or right now. Cats are very particular and intune to these things. It honestly could take many days or weeks for them to get reassociated with each other comfortably.

In the meantime, you can try to have a plan for Sasha if all else fails. I agree that it would not be fair to all the kitties to have to live together under such tense circumstances. BUT I would try to find a friend, family member, or a vet recommended home. I am hopeful that with a lot of patience and slow work you can bring peace into the cat family once again. But I for one, do understand and have known of cases where nothing at all works other than rehoming. BUT nine out of ten times - things will settle down over time and you can begin to allow supervised interaction little by little. We are here for you and we all understand how difficult this is.

Please keep us posted Sasha :rub: :heart3:

 

[mrsgreenjeens]

When I introduced my new cats it took 5 months of slow painstaking agony (it felt like) to get all of them to a point where they weren't growling and hissing all the time, but now they are all hanging out in the same room.

Everyone is right in that you need to very slowly reintroduce them, starting from scratch.  And for awhile, even when you are moving Sasha out of her safe room and putting the other in there, you need to do it where they don't have any contact with each other.  You can try feeding them on either side of the door, so they associate good things with each other, but if there is any agitation, move the food far enough away from the door where they relax.  Then start moving it closer and closer.  The whole thing is that they need to associate good things with each other, not bad things.

 

[sashasmama]

I make sure to lock up the two that dont like her before moving her out and vice versa. I have had them in the same room together once cause sasha walked in and just sat there without attacking. I have sasha out for a few hours and then put her away and the others out for a few hours and vice versa. Its very frustrating. and I am doing the blanket thing the feeding thing but she doesnt back down and neither will they...I will give it a few more weeks then move forward

 

[feralvr]

Just another thought. Have you ever tried putting ONE of the other two in with Sasha alone? I mean, separate the other two one by one and see how they interact together without feeding off of each others emotions toward Sasha. I am wondering if one of the two is the instigator. Sasha might not feel as threatened with you bringing in only one of the other cats. More of these, hun.
\

. She is now not accepted by the cat she grew up with or our calico.

Just so I have this straight.... when you brought home Sasha, she was the instigator of aggression at first (and rightly so, she just had surgery) but then was 100 percent fine. BUT the other two, after seeing her aggression and her smelling different, have not accepted her. That is why I would recommend completely confining her and the other two and rotating them out of the safe room. AND if you can, put only ONE of the other cats in the room with her for a day. This way you are breaking up the two that are teaming up together and feeding off of each others insecurities about Sasha. Make it easier on all of them by doing one on one's.

 

[sashasmama]

I have tried to keep her out with my calico cuddles. They will avoid eachother for a bit but then one of them hisses one runs and sasha attacks. I wont let her near onyx (onyx has been her partner for 9 years) she goes for the kill with onyx and onyx is smaller and more shy. for 2 days after the surgery all waas fine I left that monday for a few hours came back couldnt find cuddles and she eventually came out. Thats when sasha started attacking everyone including me and the dogs. Its 5 weeks and she gets meds for behavior everyday. She likes my male cat midnight now looks for him loves him. She tolerates to an extent my siamese we just resuced from the side of the road. She no longer attacks my minpin and she has always left my cocker spaniel alone. So out of the 5 cats she can be with 2. Before she got sick she was one to keep to herself hang out on the dryer or water heater and sleep all day never wanted to be held or anything. She would sleep with onyx and just keep to herself. Now like I said she goes for the kill with onyx and cuddles hisses and growls when she sees her starting a fight...I wont give up without a fight I love her so much and these being the first cats i ever had ( i am 33) I just dont understand why after being with them for 6 years she cant be with them. I will continue the blanket bed switching. Tomorrow when I am home more I will try the put sasha in the room they are mainly in and them in her safe room for a few hours each day. One step at a time. She is my girl I have nursed her back this far now I want to sit down with all them and explain its ok and help them all but when i do they just stare at me

 

[tjcarst]

If I remember correctly, someone else posted on here that it can take a long time to recover from Pyometra.  I was thinking months, much longer than 5 weeks. 

I've searched 'pyometra' on the forums but cannot find the post where I thought I read this.
 

 

[sashasmama]

UPDATE:

So I have kept them all seperated with one set back...I am thinking it will never work...Sasha can see them under the door and wants to come in the others still back away with ears down hissing and growling. Sashas new trick is she walks around whether i am with her or not and cries and cries and cries for hours. Today I am fighting the flu I just want to sleep and cant. the more I ignore her the more persistent it gets. I am still trying I havent given up yet but this is hard.