Need Kitty Advice Please!

[ollie12118]

I need some advice from some cat experts.. I feel like I've made a huge mistake. :/ I brought a 10 week old kitten home last weekend. I have been wanting to get a kitten for probably a month or two now.. I know I know.. I should have waited longer until deciding to bring another life into my home instead of deciding so quickly. The kitten is so very sweet and cuddly to my boyfriend and I and of course VERY playful and crazy. I am the idiot who I guess did not think about the fact that this is a baby I'm bringing home and needs a lot more care than an adult cat since he's so young and has to be constantly watched. This is not the main reason I feel I've made a mistake by bringing this kitten home. I also have a golden retriever who is my entire world. To be clear, he is AMAZING with the kitten. he has not chased or been rough with him even one time. he is very gentle and wags his tail at the kitten hoping the kitten wants to play with him, but the kitten is still scared of him due to his size and probably just being in a new home. Because the kitten is scared, any time my golden walks by or comes near, he would hiss at him, which for some reason scared the heck out of my 70 pound dog and so if kitten is in bed with us, my dog will not or is very hesitant to get in the bed with us. same with our couch. My golden is not acting himself. He gets a spoon of peanut butter in the morning when my boyfriend makes his breakfast, he didn't want it yesterday. This is dumb but he also comes in the bathroom every time my boyfriend is done taking a shower to lick his face. literally has done this since he came home at 7 1/2 weeks old..now he is hesitant to even come in the bathroom because the kitten is in there at the time. It is breaking my heart seeing my dog uncomfortable in his own home and not being himself. He is also sensing mine and my boyfriends stress when we get home at 6PM from work because we can't cook dinner or do much of anything without having to get the kitten to stop doing something, chewing scratching things he shouldn't, getting on kitchen counter, eating the dogs food, etc. It makes me feel bad to say, but my dog is literally my number one priority. He is my best friend, my baby, seriously my number one over anyone. This is the main reason I feel like I made a mistake bringing home a kitten. I feel awful because it turns out I just do not love the kitten as I feel I should.. he should be part of my family and he is being treated as so.. we love on him constantly and play a lot, but I have the constant thought that I do not want him now. I AM AWFUL. I know. I've never been in this situation. my golden was the first animal I have had as an adult and this kitten is my second and I have always been the person that seems to judge people when they want to rehome their animals. I feel like the kitten should be in a home that his family really wants him there and loves him as much as I love my golden. The other reasons I am questions my decision is that I barely have the time to take care of myself and do the things I want to for myself and now I've got a kitten to raise and take care. what the heck was I thinking? ugh. I feel like I really want to rehome the kitten, however this may be dumb.. but if I do.. will he think he did something wrong and we didn't want him? is he already bonded with me? is he going to be depressed, or is he too young? please help! any advice on what I should do is appreciated. and again, I feel awful as it is with my irresponsible decision and I've never posted on something like this.. i'm just looking for some advice on what I should do and if my kitten will be just find if rehomed.

 

[ollie12118]

P.S -- I also meant to put this in my post. I think getting this kitten has also made me realize that i'm just not a cat person like I thought I was. my boyfriends parents have two cats and I love them to death and my little sister has one and he is so sweet.. so I think it was kitty fever and now i'm realizing I really am just a dog person.

 

[vyger]

Have you heard of the expression "don't rock the boat"? It's a very simple concept. A group of people go out on a lake in a small boat. Everything is in balance, the boat is quiet. Somebody stands up and the next thing you know everybody is in the water. You were at a balanced place. Now you are not. Bringing a new member into any situation upsets the balance. When they consider a family for being foster parents they go to great length to find out how balanced things are and if adding another person will throw everything off. With you it was, is, a kitten, who by it's very nature is dynamic and changing. It will take time for your boat to stop rocking and the water to calm. Relationships between animals often change. The dog is afraid of the kitten but more afraid of you not liking it anymore and it loosing it's center of the universe position. It will take time to figure out all the new roles and even then things might still be in flux as kittens change quickly. Things always change, this is life. Sometimes you can guide the outcomes and sometimes you can't. I six months the kitten will be much more mature, the dog will have figured out the new dynamics and you will find yourself wonder about how you let yourself get worked up about something that turned out to be nothing. And what will be a much larger issue is how much the dog has attached itself to your brother in law who moved in because he no longer has a job and you let him stay for a few weeks which was 3 months ago. Things just keep changing. That's how one cat ends up being 10, oh make that 11 now.

 

[amethyst]

I'm not sure if you are looking to try to fix the problem or just wanting the ok to rehome. Are you still wanting the kitten assuming you can fix the bond between the dog and kitten? It might be a bit of an adjustment for the kitten to be rehomed again, it wont understand and depending on the personality can cause it to be less trusting in the future. It's also possible the kitten would be just fine in a new home, especially if the dog is stressing it out. However, kittens don't stay kittens forever, and there are things you can do.

If you are wanting to make it work, one thing that stands out to me is it doesn't sound like you properly introduced the kitten and dog. If you just got the kitten last weekend, depending on if you mean this past weekend (Dec 1/2) or the weekend before (Nov 24/25) either way that is not much time. It takes most cats at least a week just to settle in, and depending on if it had any previous exposure to dogs or not it can take at least couple weeks to get use to a big dog, more if it has had any bad experiences.

Can you set up the kitten in it's own room for a little while so it can settle in? Or even in a big dog crate? Not to live in forever, but to give the dog somewhat of a break from the kitten for a period of time. So for example have the kitten put away while the dog eats, and at night for now. Also what do you have in terms of cat trees or high places out of the dog's reach that the kitten can go? It's good to allow the kitten to observe the dog at it's own pace, distance, and with clear escape routes. If they are forces together, like the dog coming up to the kitten, or the kitten feels trapped, that can be frightening.

 

[8kitties]

Are you still wanting the kitten assuming you can fix the bond between the dog and kitten? Kittens don't stay kittens forever, and there are things you can do.

If you are wanting to make it work, one thing that stands out to me is it doesn't sound like you properly introduced the kitten and dog. If you just got the kitten last weekend, depending on if you mean this past weekend (Dec 1/2) or the weekend before (Nov 24/25) either way that is not much time. It takes most cats at least a week just to settle in, and depending on if it had any previous exposure to dogs or not it can take at least couple weeks to get use to a big dog, more if it has had any bad experiences.

Can you set up the kitten in it's own room for a little while so it can settle in? Or even in a big dog crate? Not to live in forever, but to give the dog somewhat of a break from the kitten for a period of time. So for example have the kitten put away while the dog eats, and at night for now. Also what do you have in terms of cat trees or high places out of the dog's reach that the kitten can go? It's good to allow the kitten to observe the dog at it's own pace, distance, and with clear escape routes. If they are forces together, like the dog coming up to the kitten, or the kitten feels trapped, that can be frightening.

I agree with the above! I say put kitty in his own room or pen and get him some epic cat trees/toys. You can still go in and play with him. He is at the most curious/playful age. Where did you get this kitten?

Also, I don't think there is a hard "i'm a dog person" or "i'm a cat person". It really depends on whether or not you bond with/like the animal, regardless of species. And you shouldn't feel guilty. If anything, be glad that this kitty is playing in your home and not one of the thousands pacing in a cage in a county shelter.

 

[inkysmom]

If separate the animals for feeding time. When you first get home y want to cook dinner and bond with your dog the kitten can be in it's own room with it's own toys and food and water. After you get through your getting home routine you can let the kitten out for a while and spend time with it.

Kittens need limits and reassurance and structure just like any other babies and kids. Praise good or neutral behavior around your dog, lots or praise, pats and treats to both of them to encourage a positive association.
If the kitten hisses or acts aggressive at all to the dog, say no firmly and put it back on its room.

I never let or encourage my large dogs to play with my cats, too great of a size difference and easy for a large dog to accidentally hurt a much smaller cat.
One of my cats I've had since I found him starving on the street in Aruba on vacation at three months old and three pounds. He's sweet but shy and very aggressive to any new dog . He bonds very strongly to any dog after about six months or so. But the first few months o have to constantly tell him no and give him timeouts in the bathroom as he sends ninety pound dogs hiding shaking in their crates!
Interestingly, I've been dogsitting a lot over the past month for extra money, and have had at least six different dogs in my apartment over the past five or six weeks from anywhere from one or two nights to almost two weeks. There hasn't been time or space to introduce them slowly and he's actually gotten a lot bolder, less aggressive and more friendly and confident, especially with the friendly gentle dogs.

Any new addition to the family is a transition. Rehoming the kitten could affect negatively it's ability to trust and bond with future caregivers. Good luck!