Hi all. I am so desperate and feel hopeless and helpless. My mom rescued a lot of cats the last couple of years and has been taking great care of them. Unfortunately she has become very very sick for almost 5 months. I have been taking care of her plus the cats but i dont know how much longer i can do it and I'm afraid mom will need to leave her home or God forbid may pass. The problem is she has 18 cats. I cant bring them to a kill shelter and none of my local shelters have room. I am worried about the cats and their future. I am wary of posting on Craigslist. Is there anyone i can go to for help or who could help me rehome and screen adopters? I am so distraught and overwhelmed and want to do the right thing. Any advice would be so greatly appreciated. I'm on Long Island ny.
-
Too many ads? Join our community of cat lovers now to reduce ads by 90%! Click here to join for free!
Need desperate help please!
- Thread starter cececat
- Start Date
I'm so sorry about your situation. Vibes for your mother
and thank you for taking care of the cats up to now.
I've put out a "call" to see if anyone can advise you.
I've put out a "call" to see if anyone can advise you.
Some questions which may help you finding the right places to seek, and help you with the screening.
Are these cats tame? Ie, would they manage to live in a normal flat, with just a shorter time for getting used to?
If so, it is much easier to find new homes, than if they also need long socializing.
If some of them are fresh adopted semiferales, and thus know nicely how to fend for themselves if need be, AND are spayed, one alternative is to let them out in a cat friendly area. They will manage! Not nice, but much better than to give them to a kill shelter or give them to people you dont trust upon. A shy semiferal and a so so new owner who isnt eager to put effort and love into them, is a bad solution which will often end badly.
Of course, if they can be somebodys outside cat is much better.
Are they (some of them) used to be outside, and hunt? If so, living as barn or stable cats may be a good alternative.
While being barn cat is a bad alternative for a cat who is used to be pure indoor.
Are some of them used to be with other animals? Dogs?
Quite a few of dog owners are also happy being cat owners, as long as they can coexist without problems.
Also, horse owners, typically often has dogs, and not seldom - cats.
Used to children? Perhaps even love small children??
I presume, living 18 toghether in a place, they can everyone be said, they are cat -sociale, and wouldnt find no trouble being a second or third cat in a household.
Thus, being a ideal company cat for say, a young wild kitten, who troubles their owner by wanting to play and bite, perhaps taken from mom a little too early. Like is quite common. Such a companion cat will give this kitten company and teach it some good cat manners.
Also, to be a companion cat for a lively purebred cat. Say, a bengal or abyssynnian or even russian blue.
Most cats, purebred or not, do prefer a friend, a companion cat, even if they arent very lively by themselves.
Get yourself a digital camera or a good quality cellphone camera, and make good portraits photos of them. A couple each, as minimum. Make sure they are nice photos, where they look friendly and comfortable.
No behind bars or squizeed in a carrier or similiar.
And make individual descriptions, where you do write positively about them. Be honest, even if you put weight on the positive examples.and put some nice colors No lies, not even semilies....
If there are negative factors, you must be honest, and tell it as latest when the interested contacts you and wants more info.
OK, Re the screening. On our Ferale Forums this question was up several times, you will surely find suitable threads.
Use the search function, if you dont want to look through the threads titles.
One tip I do often give, is, take always payment in some form.
Never ever give away for free, unless you know to whom, unless you know the cat goes there as a precious gift, and is accepted as a precious gift.
The free takers does often end as sparring partners for fighting dogs, or snake food, or similiar....
So a basical but useful screening is taking payment.
As it is surely embarrassing to take payment here, you can alternatively agree to ask the adopter make a donation to some nice praiseworthy cause, IN THE CATS NAME, not the donators name.
So the donation will be a real test, being essentially anonymous.
Possibly a twist may be, say the cats name is Buddy, the adopters surname is Wilson, the donators name will thus be Buddy Wilson....
Thus, creating a magical bond between the cat and the adopter, causing a wave of noble feelings as soon the adopter remembers the cat.
A variation is the adopter is making something in natura to you. Help to fix something. Or at very least, comes driwing to you to fetch the cat say a hours driving away... (observe, ithis test works only if he come solely to fetch the cat. If he had other errands to do at the same time, this test isnt working)
If he puts some considerable effort to help this cat, you KNOW he is serious.
Another tip is when my brother got his two young female cats pregnant before he got them to the vet for spaying, and had 12 kittens to adopt out. He had ads in the local papers, and tried to find families with children. (They had themslves two children, so the kittens were used to children).
He tried to arrange it cooperating with the parents: The child had the payment, the rather symbolical 10 dollars in her hands. The parents stood behind. The child gave the money to bro, and got instead the kitten to held. With the parents standing behind supervising and giving their approval and quarantee..
Again, a magical bond.
Worked marvellously in all the cases it was arranged so. He could follow all the families several years afterwards.
Good luck!
Are these cats tame? Ie, would they manage to live in a normal flat, with just a shorter time for getting used to?
If so, it is much easier to find new homes, than if they also need long socializing.
If some of them are fresh adopted semiferales, and thus know nicely how to fend for themselves if need be, AND are spayed, one alternative is to let them out in a cat friendly area. They will manage! Not nice, but much better than to give them to a kill shelter or give them to people you dont trust upon. A shy semiferal and a so so new owner who isnt eager to put effort and love into them, is a bad solution which will often end badly.
Of course, if they can be somebodys outside cat is much better.
Are they (some of them) used to be outside, and hunt? If so, living as barn or stable cats may be a good alternative.
While being barn cat is a bad alternative for a cat who is used to be pure indoor.
Are some of them used to be with other animals? Dogs?
Quite a few of dog owners are also happy being cat owners, as long as they can coexist without problems.
Also, horse owners, typically often has dogs, and not seldom - cats.
Used to children? Perhaps even love small children??
I presume, living 18 toghether in a place, they can everyone be said, they are cat -sociale, and wouldnt find no trouble being a second or third cat in a household.
Thus, being a ideal company cat for say, a young wild kitten, who troubles their owner by wanting to play and bite, perhaps taken from mom a little too early. Like is quite common. Such a companion cat will give this kitten company and teach it some good cat manners.
Also, to be a companion cat for a lively purebred cat. Say, a bengal or abyssynnian or even russian blue.
Most cats, purebred or not, do prefer a friend, a companion cat, even if they arent very lively by themselves.
Get yourself a digital camera or a good quality cellphone camera, and make good portraits photos of them. A couple each, as minimum. Make sure they are nice photos, where they look friendly and comfortable.
No behind bars or squizeed in a carrier or similiar.
And make individual descriptions, where you do write positively about them. Be honest, even if you put weight on the positive examples.and put some nice colors No lies, not even semilies....
If there are negative factors, you must be honest, and tell it as latest when the interested contacts you and wants more info.
OK, Re the screening. On our Ferale Forums this question was up several times, you will surely find suitable threads.
Use the search function, if you dont want to look through the threads titles.
One tip I do often give, is, take always payment in some form.
Never ever give away for free, unless you know to whom, unless you know the cat goes there as a precious gift, and is accepted as a precious gift.
The free takers does often end as sparring partners for fighting dogs, or snake food, or similiar....
So a basical but useful screening is taking payment.
As it is surely embarrassing to take payment here, you can alternatively agree to ask the adopter make a donation to some nice praiseworthy cause, IN THE CATS NAME, not the donators name.
So the donation will be a real test, being essentially anonymous.
Possibly a twist may be, say the cats name is Buddy, the adopters surname is Wilson, the donators name will thus be Buddy Wilson....
Thus, creating a magical bond between the cat and the adopter, causing a wave of noble feelings as soon the adopter remembers the cat.
A variation is the adopter is making something in natura to you. Help to fix something. Or at very least, comes driwing to you to fetch the cat say a hours driving away... (observe, ithis test works only if he come solely to fetch the cat. If he had other errands to do at the same time, this test isnt working)
If he puts some considerable effort to help this cat, you KNOW he is serious.
Another tip is when my brother got his two young female cats pregnant before he got them to the vet for spaying, and had 12 kittens to adopt out. He had ads in the local papers, and tried to find families with children. (They had themslves two children, so the kittens were used to children).
He tried to arrange it cooperating with the parents: The child had the payment, the rather symbolical 10 dollars in her hands. The parents stood behind. The child gave the money to bro, and got instead the kitten to held. With the parents standing behind supervising and giving their approval and quarantee..
Again, a magical bond.
Worked marvellously in all the cases it was arranged so. He could follow all the families several years afterwards.
Good luck!
Excellent post above from Stefan. :nod: And, I am SO very sorry about your situation and for your mother being so sick. This is extremely heartbreaking for families when someone gets sick and has been caring lovingly for and rescuing so many needy, homeless kitties or other pets and the pets need to be rehomed due to the illness. :shame: You are a wonderful daughter helping the way you have and I am sure this is very hard on your heart/soul. These tough decisions.
I would suggest contacting every and all veterinarians in your area within even 50 miles, if you can. You can make up flyers on the computer with pictures and the story you are telling here. Vets will post the flyer in their waiting rooms and I would think you will be getting many calls from people wanting to reach out and help you. :nod: The holidays bring out the best in people in times like these and some may be willing to even foster a few of the kitties until forever homes can be found. You can email vet's the flyer to print out. It would take many calls to these vet's but may prove to be fruitful. :cross:
Also, you may want to contact a TNR organization in your area asking about possible foster families, etc. This is a special circumstance and I think the hearts of these compassionate people will be happy to help you and your mother. ALL MY BEST and please keep us posted.
I would suggest contacting every and all veterinarians in your area within even 50 miles, if you can. You can make up flyers on the computer with pictures and the story you are telling here. Vets will post the flyer in their waiting rooms and I would think you will be getting many calls from people wanting to reach out and help you. :nod: The holidays bring out the best in people in times like these and some may be willing to even foster a few of the kitties until forever homes can be found. You can email vet's the flyer to print out. It would take many calls to these vet's but may prove to be fruitful. :cross:
Also, you may want to contact a TNR organization in your area asking about possible foster families, etc. This is a special circumstance and I think the hearts of these compassionate people will be happy to help you and your mother. ALL MY BEST and please keep us posted.
Last edited:
Excellent advice by Feralv! I do also second wholeheartly the words of sympathy.
Why is this advice on vet places so effectful?
1. There do come a LOT of animal friends. Both cat owners and dog owners.
These are not only owners, but also friends to animals. Not so few owners dont bother to go to vet when their pet is sick. These here DO go to the vet => the bigger half of the screening is thus done hereby.
Some may have problems with their pet lacking a companion, being either too wild, or depressed. Or perhaps even peeing because being left alone in the house when the owner is working.
A companion will do marwels in all these cases.
And we did saw probably ALL of your cats will do nicely as companions, even these who arent yet 100% socialized to humans they dont know.
2. A common enough cause to go to the vet is to pts their old friend. Because it become very old, or become very ill.
Some will take the easy way out to comfort themselves:by getting a new pet as soon they can. (so some screening is perhaps necessary! They can be good owners anyway.).
Others seeks after a companion to their other mourning pet who is now alone.
And third group, do mourn themselves. And may think: " I couldnt help my old friend, he was too sick. But I can easily help to save some other animal, just by simply adopting it. Not instead of my old friend, but in the name of my old friend."..
Yes, vets offices are are a very good tip.
Good luck! *vibes!*
Why is this advice on vet places so effectful?
1. There do come a LOT of animal friends. Both cat owners and dog owners.
These are not only owners, but also friends to animals. Not so few owners dont bother to go to vet when their pet is sick. These here DO go to the vet => the bigger half of the screening is thus done hereby.
Some may have problems with their pet lacking a companion, being either too wild, or depressed. Or perhaps even peeing because being left alone in the house when the owner is working.
A companion will do marwels in all these cases.
And we did saw probably ALL of your cats will do nicely as companions, even these who arent yet 100% socialized to humans they dont know.
2. A common enough cause to go to the vet is to pts their old friend. Because it become very old, or become very ill.
Some will take the easy way out to comfort themselves:by getting a new pet as soon they can. (so some screening is perhaps necessary! They can be good owners anyway.).
Others seeks after a companion to their other mourning pet who is now alone.
And third group, do mourn themselves. And may think: " I couldnt help my old friend, he was too sick. But I can easily help to save some other animal, just by simply adopting it. Not instead of my old friend, but in the name of my old friend."..
Yes, vets offices are are a very good tip.
Good luck! *vibes!*
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #6
Thank you all so much for your responses and words of encouragement. I have been so full of guilt and self doubt not wanting to give up the babies but knowing their future is not certain. All of the cats are extremely social and lovable. All good with other cats and dogs. My mom has provided an incredibly loving home and i wish it could have stayed this way. I see her struggling every day to try to care for them but she cant. I'm here to help but i cant do it forever. I wish i could. Luckily i found some kind hearted rescuers who are willing to help me take the young ones off our hands. I am sick with guilt but 19 cats is not sustainable. I still have 12 after this and want to keep my older cats and a few that my mom actually nursed back from near death and cant go through much more. Thank you so much again for your advice. I just dont have the strength, mentally and emotionally, to screen potential adopters. I literally stay home all day feeding mom making sure she drinks giving her meds and caring for the pets. This has been going on for months. I am so upset that i doing the wrong thing. My mom is on heavy steroids and she yells at me and makes me feel so bad. I know it is only the meds talking but i still feel terrible i am not doing enough or that i am doing something wrong. I am terrified of a potential hoarding situation and will not let it get to that point if it kills me. I wish i could do it all. :'(
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #7
First, excellent about the rescue stepping in to take the young ones. I think you are doing an incredibly amazing job at handling all of this - you should be very proud. You are a good daughter and person. :heart3: Yes - the steroids can make a person "angry" and that complied with the fact that your mother can't care for herself and her beloved kitties anymore has to be causing her great pain and stress which she will inevitably take out on you, unfortunately. I am sorry about that. I think you know in your heart of hearts that your mother doesn't mean to lash out at you but still it is unfair for you to have to deal with on top of trying to help the cats. I DO think you are doing it all, hun!!! You are doing THE best you can at doing it all!!!!!!!!! I hope that as more kitties are placed into good homes or a good situation, the pressure and your load will lighten. :cross:
I can say for sure - a posted flyer in a vet's office WILL bring out compassionate cat loving people to help you, hun. And, the best part is that most people who will see the flyer's are already really, really good pet owners who love their animals. It really does work in these types of situations and with so many sweet and friendly kitties, they are sure to get homes - FAST.
Last edited:
