Need Advice Dealing With My Aggressive Cat

[Adway]

I adopted 2 cats 6 weeks ago (12 weeks old now). They are siblings. While Bruce is friendly, Luke has been extremely aggressive. He was smallest of the litter, but he is very intelligent. Unfortunately, he has history of being aggressive towards 4 yr old son of his previous owner. I blamed it on the kid previously (the kid has a history too) & hoped that Luke will calm down when I have showered him with Love & Food. However, in my early days, I got scratched badly by Luke & I have learnt to let him alone.

In last 6 weeks, there have been no incidents. I don't mind these guys playing with my Laptop & Sofa. However, Luke has tried to destroy two of my plants in last two days. Both the times when I caught him red-handed, I lost temper (plants are living beings too and these plants were under my protection), but more importantly, I wanted Luke to associate destroying plants with pain. I pursued him & hit him rather forcefully. Now, he is afraid of me.

In another incident, I caught him fight aggressively with Bruce using the belt I have put on Bruce - which was removed promptly. They always fight with each other, but the way Luke was using Bruce's belt, it got me really worried. However, I disengaged them & that was it.

I can vouch for not hitting him, outside when he is destroying the plants. I have to let these guys out because they need to get their sunshine & fresh air.

More importantly, what do I do with this cat? Its almost impossible to hold him for even a few seconds as he starts scratching wildely. Even after 6 weeks of calm life, he is still so aggressive in his behaviour. I am going to get both of them neutered in a week or so (although it is going to be hard to induce them to be carried to vet after today's incident).

 

[rubysmama]

Sorry things are a bit stressful with your new kittens. But, kittens are like little kids, they're full of energy and mischief. Yours, at only 12 weeks, are still babies. They need lots more time to learn kitty manners.

Usually it's recommended kittens stay with their mom and siblings till 12 weeks, so they have time to learn cat etiquette. Since you adopted them earlier than that, that job now falls to you.

Here's an articles all about how to Teach Your Kitten How to Play Nice : The Humane Society of the United States

Also one on Kitten Proofing Your Home: 13 Practical Tips

Please keep in mind, kittens don't purposely destroy plants. They just look at everything as either a food source, or a plaything. Eventually, hopefully, they'll leave the plants alone, but it is important that you ensure any plants in your home are cat safe. Some plants are toxic to cats. Here's a link with a list of Poisonous Plants for Cats | petMD

Please, please, please, don't try to physically discipline your kittens. Cats really just don't understand and, as you are seeing, will just become scared of you. Be patient with him, give him extra hugs and treats, and play with him, and he should get over his fear.

Here are a couple more articles with more info:
How To Set Healthy Boundaries For Your Cat
Cats And Discipline Don't Mix
14 Cat Experts Reveal: How To Get A Cat To Like Me

 

[Kat0121]

Well, first of all. Neutering him will help. A lot. Once he has been fixed, he will calm down. It will not be instantaneous but it will happen. Once they are both neutered, it will cause the instinct to fight with one another to decrease.

Second, please do NOT hit him. It will do no good and cause him to lose trust in you (as you have seen). It is going to take time and work on your part to earn his trust back but you can do it if this is what you want.

Here's what I would do:

Set up an appointment to have both boys fixed
Talk to Luke. Tell him that you are sorry that you hit him and you will not do it again. Then keep that promise. He will forgive you because that is how they are. We as humans can learn a lot from our cats.

Cats are very intelligent animals (as you have noticed) and they understand a lot of what is said to them. From now on when you communicate with him, talk to him softly. Sit on the floor so you are not "looming" over him. This makes cats feel as though they are being threatened. Especially when trust is being rebuilt. Do not attempt to touch him. Let him come to you. Cats are very curious, inquisitive creatures. As soon as he sees you calm down, he will too. He will want to know why you are not coming to him any longer and he will come by to check you out. When he does, extend your hand in a fist. When we learn to communicate with them the way that communicate with one another, we get more out of them as we are now "speaking their language". Cats greet one another with head butts and your fist is about the size of a cats head. Just hold it still and let him check you out.

This is going to be a gradual process. When he behaves the way that you want, praise him and give him a yummy treat. You want him to start associating you with GOOD things. Hands free play time is great too. Wand toys are a great way to do this. Cats love those things and it's a great way for them to burn off excess energy. It will also encourage them to play with each other even if they don't think that they want to.

When you look at him, do not look at him directly in the eye as cats see this as a threat. Look just to the side or above his head. Then close your eyes and hold them closed for a few seconds. This is the slow blink. All cats know this instinctively. It is one of the ways that they communicate with one another and let's face it, they think we are large hairless cats who are terrible hunters! Do this often and you will see that he will start to return the gesture. It's basically a way that cats say hello and express affection to one another. After a while, you will see that he will do it first. When he does, give yourself a pat on the back as you will have made some great progress.

This is a bump in the road. You can get past this. You just have to want to and be willing to put in the effort.

Until you can get the boys fixed, you may want to consider (if you are able to) keeping them separated. This will keep them from fighting until their hormones have a chance to settle down. A re-introduction once they are fixed may be necessary. We have a really helpful article on that here. How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide

You obviously care about Luke. If you did not, you would not have taken the time to find this forum, create a profile and ask for assistance. Many people would not bother. You can make this work and we are here to help. This is an international site so someone is always around. Good luck.

 

[Adway]

Thank you for the reply Rubysmama. The articles are quite helpful. Thanks for providing them to me in one place, instead of me having to hunt for them.

I had to adopt these guys when they were 8 weeks old, as my neighbour's kid was a serious threat and also, I was sure that I could provide better nutrition & general living conditions to them. Especially, Luke was under-developed and it was essential that I provide him better home asap. It has worked to an extent & Luke is quite as large as Bruce now.

I am shamed of the incidents & will take care to prevent them in future.

My problem is more general. Luke does not expect love/caring/petting from me. So, I cannot use ignorance to make him learn anything (works well on his brother). Hitting is detrimental to our relation. He is just like a teenage kid, more than a baby. My bigger concern is how to make him feel part of my family.

 

[Adway]

Thanks for the very practical advice Kat0121. I am going to try the close-fist technique as soon as Luke comes around.

Things have calmed down in my household in last couple of hours. Luke came out of his hiding place & ate some treats out of my hand. He is not happy with me, but he is willing to forgo the issue for the sake of treats. This has put my mind to rest a little bit.

I don't mind these guys fighting in general. I know they are learning to fight & they are chummy as soon as it is over. Putting a belt on Bruce was my mistake & I have reverted it. He will get a belt only when we are going for a session outdoor.

 

[Kat0121]

Thank you for the reply Rubysmama. The articles are quite helpful. Thanks for providing them to me in one place, instead of me having to hunt for them.

I had to adopt these guys when they were 8 weeks old, as my neighbour's kid was a serious threat and also, I was sure that I could provide better nutrition & general living conditions to them. Especially, Luke was under-developed and it was essential that I provide him better home asap. It has worked to an extent & Luke is quite as large as Bruce now.

I am shamed of the incidents & will take care to prevent them in future.

My problem is more general. Luke does not expect love/caring/petting from me. So, I cannot use ignorance to make him learn anything (works well on his brother). Hitting is detrimental to our relation. He is just like a teenage kid, more than a baby. My bigger concern is how to make him feel part of my family.

In time, he will. That's one of the reasons why play time is so important. It will form a bond between you. He will associate you with fun. As the trust rebuilds, he will come to you more and more. Cats are not small dogs. Unlike dogs who for the most part give their love and trust indiscriminately, a cat's love and trust must be earned. Wand toys and laser pointers are readily available at most pet stores. Amazon has a wide variety as well. Da Bird is one of the most popular kinds but just one of many.

 

[rubysmama]

My problem is more general. Luke does not expect love/caring/petting from me. So, I cannot use ignorance to make him learn anything (works well on his brother). Hitting is detrimental to our relation. He is just like a teenage kid, more than a baby. My bigger concern is how to make him feel part of my family.

I'll post links to a bunch more articles that may be helpful.

Can you post pictures of Luke and Bruce? It's always nice to put a furry face to the kitty's name.
How To Add A Picture To Your Forum Post

14 Cat Experts Reveal: How To Get A Cat To Like Me

Cat Behavior For Beginners
The Dos And Don'ts Of Cat Behavior Modification

How To Get A Cat To Come Out Of Hiding?
10 Must-know Tips For Happy Living With A Shy Cat
16 Top Cat Experts Share Tips For Dealing With Timid Cats
Cats As Individuals

Cat Aggression Toward People
How To Stop Playtime Aggression In Cats

 

[silkenpaw]

Poor runty Luke learned early on that being aggressive was the key to survival. He probably had to fight his siblings for a turn at the nipple.

I don’t know why he’s such a scaredy cat, some cats just are. Maybe he had some bad experiences; he can’t tell you in so many words. Interactive games, such as Da Bird, will show him that good things happen when you are around. That’s the beginning of a bond. Things will progress (slowly) from there. Good luck.

 

[Adway]

Can you post pictures of Luke and Bruce? It's always nice to put a furry face to the kitty's name.

Thank you for your kind interest. Its nice when somebody asks for your cat's photos instead of you forcing them on people

 

[Adway]

First time in my life, I am happy to get that lot of Homework LOL. Thanks a bunch for all the links. I am going through them like my cats go through fish .

 

[Adway]

Poor runty Luke learned early on that being aggressive was the key to survival. He probably had to fight his siblings for a turn at the nipple.

True. Plus I have a feeling that my Neighbour's kid would have been rougher on him, because he is small.

I don’t know why he’s such a scaredy cat, some cats just are. Maybe he had some bad experiences; he can’t tell you in so many words. Interactive games, such as Da Bird, will show him that good things happen when you are around. That’s the beginning of a bond. Things will progress (slowly) from there. Good luck.

He probably had bad associations when he was picked up by him. I realise that I did nothing to dispel these associations. Now, I pick him only time when I use the food call. Plus I pick him up ONLY to place him at a higher place where there are treats. He still gets afraid of me occasionally, when I try, but also, he lets me pick him up.

 

[Adway]

Luke is confusing hell out of me. Right now he is sleeping in a gap between my lower-back and sofa. I am sure that a cat afraid of me would not do that. I think he is forgetting the incident.

My general strategy for first 6 months was to let him be & he had started to trust me a bit. I am going back to that routine. Bruce on the other hand has started grooming me - I think, unless he was licking me because I had spilled something testy on my arm. I am going to be content with Bruce being my lap cat and Luke & him being chummy.

 

[Kat0121]

There is no such thing as too many pictures of cats on this site. The more the better in our opinion! The fact that Luke is going to you like that is a good thing for sure! Those two are adorable !

 

[rubysmama]

Awww... Luke and Bruce are paws-itively adorable. Thanks for posting their pics. Like Kat0121 posted, "there is no such thing as too many pictures of cats on this site." In fact, we have a forum for Fur Pictures and Videos Only!.

Sounds like Luke loves you and has forgotten that bad incident. Just in case you finished reading all the other articles, here's one more that you should enjoy.
25 Signs That Your Cat Loves You

 

[Mamanyt1953]

What an adorable pair of kittens. Here on TCS, there is NO SUCH THING as too many pictures! Post away!

I'm so sorry that you got off to a rocky start with Luke, but it does seem that he is forgiving and forgetting. You're right...a kitten who was still afraid of you would NOT sleep in contact with your body. And bear in mind that all cats are individuals. Some just don't like being picked up much, others have no problem with it. Some are a bit aloof, demanding affection only on their own terms, while others seem to crave it. Just respect Luke for who he is, remain patient, speak to him in a soft voice, and you will bring the best out of him!

 

[Adway]

Thanks Rubysmama, Kat0121 & mamanyt1953 for the help & moral support at the time when all 3 of us were a bit distressed.

Things are going great now. I went back to my routine of ignoring Luke - thats an expert advise in one the links provided by Rubysmama - & I am in his good books again now. Following example of Bruce, he today came & slept in my lap for a good hour long snooze.

Once again, thank you for support when I was on verge of panicking. I am re-reading the articles to learn to see what more can I implement.

 

[rubysmama]

Excellent. Any more questions, just ask. There's a lot of members here with years of cat experience, ready and willing to answer all kitty questions.

TCS also has many different articles on different topics. Here's the main link: Articles | TheCatSite

 

[Mamanyt1953]

And don't forget...now that you have worked throught this, your experiences are going to be just what some other distressed cat person needs at some point in the future!

 

[Adway]

And don't forget...now that you have worked throught this, your experiences are going to be just what some other distressed cat person needs at some point in the future!

Yes Mamanyt1953, I will try to be a good community member & try to show support to other members. I am nowhere near as wise as you, RubysMama, Kat0121 & other senior members in cat matters, but I can show solidarity to other members. There are many of them who are worried of aggressive behavior of cats and I have started putting in a word or two on many of the threads.

 

[Adway]

Almost as soon as I felt relief from one issue, I have ran into another with Luke.

24 hours ago, I felt some unidentified liquid on my regular sitting spot - the bean-bag in the picture above. It smelt weird. Then this morning, I caught Luke doing it red-handed. I don't think there have been incidences like that before and it has started since yesterday. I can tell that he was urinating and not spraying. I would have been OK with spraying as we already had Vet's appointment for today to neuter both these guys and it was done accordingly. Its the urinating that is worrying me.

I have read enough threads here to know that this is not vindictive behavior from Luke. I am not angry at him.

Any suggestion regarding what could have prompted him to do this? Access to litterbox is not blocked. Litterbox is not too dirty (it was cleaned yesterday morning). I was sitting on that bean-bag a few seconds before and I had just been up to close the door or something. Could this have contributed to his wish to pee on it?