Need Advice About Under Socialized Cat

[lillykitty]

Hi everyone. About 5 days ago, we adopted a 7m old who had ringworm as a kitten. Because of this, she has been severely under socialized.

We have her in our room separate from the house and our other cat. For the first few days, she would hide under the bed and just wait until we left to eat or use the litter box. We thought that we'd make more progress if we blocked off the bed and let her hide in the closet or her little house we bought.

She has now managed to find a way back under the bed 3 times. We thought for sure we had the pillows packed in there! At this point, should I just leave her be for a while under there?

When she's under there, she just hides and waits. When she's in the closet, we are able to pet her. She'll even begin taking treats from our hand AFTER we've started putting her. When she's out from the bed, she'll also eat her food and everything.

I feel like we make so much more progress when she's out from that bed, but she obviously feels way more comfortable under there. I know it's still early, but what would you do?

Just as a note, we don't grab her from under the bed. We lift the mattress up and leave it open until she finds a new spot.

 

[Kat0121]

HI! Welcome!! 

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• Kat0121
• Mar 2, 2015

Here he is about a month later. He was coming out for pets when I was bringing his breakfast. The box had to be replaced with this plastic storage tote after he spilled food in the box and ants came

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• Kat0121
• Aug 2, 2015

Here he is after he came out of his room and discovered the big cat tree in the living room. Notice how much more confident he looks

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• Kat0121
• Aug 8, 2015

Here he is curled up on a pillow next to me at bedtime

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• Kat0121
• Jan 14, 2016

and lastly, napping in a hammock that he and his new sisters got for Christmas

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• Kat0121
• Feb 2, 2016

 

[Ms. Freya]

If she's that determined that the bed is her safe spot, I would let her stay there.

When we were socializing our Random, he spent the first month living behind a shelf. My husband would go in every morning with his breakfast and sit chatting with him for a few minutes, I'd go into his room every night after work and sit there doing something quietly (reading, crocheting) and chatting with him about my day. it just got him used to our sounds and presence on his own terms and let him decided that were weren't focused on him - something timid cats can find intimidating. It took awhile, but eventually, we'd see him start to peek out and watch us, interested in what we were doing. Soon after, he wandered out on his own for a pet. Now he sleeps on the foot of our bed. 

It's not a quick process, but if you let her come out and see you on her terms, she'll actually acclimate quicker in the long run.

You might find some helpful advice here:

http://www.thecatsite.com/a/10-must-know-tips-for-happy-living-with-a-shy-cat

Under-socialized and shy cats often react in similar ways.

 

[lillykitty]

Thank you for the advice!This has been very stressful for me because I'm constantly wondering if what I'm doing is the right thing and she's so scared, it breaks my heart.


I will use cardboard to block off the bed, thanks. Also, this morning when she was out from under the bed (until she found a way back in), she began to meow and meow at my husband while he was still in bed. Is the meowing a good sign or a sign that she was distressed? It was when he left to get food for her that she got back under. Until this morning, she hasn't made a peep.

She also cleaned herself last night in his presence. That is a good thing, right?

Thank you for your support! I was never a cat person until I met my husband, now I am in love. But because of it, I am not as well versed on cat behavior as I am dogs.

Here is our little girl when we brought her home. We aren't sure of a name yet.

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• lillykitty
• Apr 8, 2016

 

[lillykitty]

If she's that determined that the bed is her safe spot, I would let her stay there.

When we were socializing our Random, he spent the first month living behind a shelf. My husband would go in every morning with his breakfast and sit chatting with him for a few minutes, I'd go into his room every night after work and sit there doing something quietly (reading, crocheting) and chatting with him about my day. it just got him used to our sounds and presence on his own terms and let him decided that were weren't focused on him - something timid cats can find intimidating. It took awhile, but eventually, we'd see him start to peek out and watch us, interested in what we were doing. Soon after, he wandered out on his own for a pet. Now he sleeps on the foot of our bed. 

It's not a quick process, but if you let her come out and see you on her terms, she'll actually acclimate quicker in the long run.

You might find some helpful advice here:
http://www.thecatsite.com/a/10-must-know-tips-for-happy-living-with-a-shy-cat

Under-socialized and shy cats often react in similar ways.

If she's that determined that the bed is her safe spot, I would let her stay there.

When we were socializing our Random, he spent the first month living behind a shelf. My husband would go in every morning with his breakfast and sit chatting with him for a few minutes, I'd go into his room every night after work and sit there doing something quietly (reading, crocheting) and chatting with him about my day. it just got him used to our sounds and presence on his own terms and let him decided that were weren't focused on him - something timid cats can find intimidating. It took awhile, but eventually, we'd see him start to peek out and watch us, interested in what we were doing. Soon after, he wandered out on his own for a pet. Now he sleeps on the foot of our bed. 

It's not a quick process, but if you let her come out and see you on her terms, she'll actually acclimate quicker in the long run.

You might find some helpful advice here:
http://www.thecatsite.com/a/10-must-know-tips-for-happy-living-with-a-shy-cat

Under-socialized and shy cats often react in similar ways.

OK, now confused! This is what makes this thing so stressful haha. I am leaning toward blocking off the bed still though because when she's out, she takes treats from our hands or lick baby food off our fingers, but when she is under the bed, she won't get close to us.

I don't think she was pet very often, because when we do pet her, she kind of wiggles around like she doesn't know how to react. Its really cute. And it's only after petting her that she takes the treat or eats from her food bowl in our presence.

 

[lillykitty]

Sorry about the double quote. I'm on my phone and made a mistake. [emoji]128584[/emoji]

 

[Kat0121]

OK, now confused! This is what makes this thing so stressful haha. I am leaning toward blocking off the bed still though because when she's out, she takes treats from our hands or lick baby food off our fingers, but when she is under the bed, she won't get close to us.

I don't think she was pet very often, because when we do pet her, she kind of wiggles around like she doesn't know how to react. Its really cute. And it's only after petting her that she takes the treat or eats from her food bowl in our presence.

Henry was the same way. When he was behind the desk, he wouldn't let me anywhere near him. That's why I blocked it off and gave him the box. I also put a cat tree with a cubby in the room so he could choose but he picked the box. He was very accepting of pets and treats when he was in the box and then the tote. I would definitely block off the area under the bed. 

 

[Kat0121]

She is so cute!!! She looks like my Sophie!!!  

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• Kat0121
• Aug 10, 2015

How about Sophia?  

 

[Caspers Human]

I suggest that you have two problems: Getting Kitty used to a new home and helping her become better socialized.

If it was my call, I'd work on getting her used to a new home, first, before working on socializing her to people. She needs to know that she's safe and has food, water and a good place to sleep before she can become socialized. Anxiety over basic needs trumps social anxiety.

In my experience, a new cat takes from a few days to a week to start feeling safe in a new home and it takes up to a month for a new cat to feel like your home is her permanent home. Since your cat is extra anxious, I would estimate that it's going to take double or triple the amount of time to become acclimated, if not more.

Since you've only had Kitty for less than a week, I say that you've only just barely begun getting her used to a new home. From what you tell us, it sounds like she's actually doing pretty well. I think you are on the right track.

If you can entice Kitty to play, I think that would be a good thing.
If she can have a bit of fun, playing with her new humans, she might realize that nobody is going to try to hurt her and she might feel at home faster.

Of course, "cats is cats" and every cat is different... YMMV.

Just take it easy and give her plenty of time. It'll all work out.

 

[molly92]

I'm for blocking off hiding places that are hard to reach, but then providing her with carriers and/or comfy boxes that she can hide and feel safe in, so you can still interact with her enough for socialization to move along.

This is a very thorough method that was developed for cats that were much less socialized than your little girl, but you might find some of the techniques helpful: http://bestfriends.org/resources/socializing-very-shy-or-fearful-cats

 

[lillykitty]

Thanks everyone for all this great advice. I saved the link from bestfriends.org. Every bit of reassurance that blocking off the bed isn't a terrible idea is very helpful. It seems right, but then when I look at her, I feel incredibly guilty.

We live in a one bedroom apartment, so since the cat has seemed to taken more of a liking to my husband, hes been sleeping in the room with her. Since our other cat is so used to sleeping with us, I've been sleeping on the couch with her in an attempt to make her feel less like this cat is disturbing her life. The things we do for them.

I know I will continue to have many questions as this progresses and I really appreciate all your support.

 

[lillykitty]

Cats are confusing. I haven't blocked the bed off yet, so she's under there, but close enough to give treats to. I gave her the treats and she took them from my hand no problem. She also licked the little crumbs off my fingers and put her paw in my hand, yet if I even make a motion to touch her even in the slightest bit, she really backs off. I'm letting her be in control, but her behavior still confuses me lol.

 

[Ms. Freya]

Cats are confusing. I haven't blocked the bed off yet, so she's under there, but close enough to give treats to. I gave her the treats and she took them from my hand no problem. She also licked the little crumbs off my fingers and put her paw in my hand, yet if I even make a motion to touch her even in the slightest bit, she really backs off. I'm letting her be in control, but her behavior still confuses me lol.

Cats certainly can be confusing! It does sound like she's making progress, though. If you'd really rather keep her out from under the bed, is it possible to only block of part of it? Then, you can get close to her, but she can still go under into an area she considers 'safe'.