My Zazzy won't cuddle with me

[zazzozal]

Hello, I have a very weird situation, First off for any one that knew, my Zazzy was misdiagnosed with FIP last a week ago, The vet called, he did NOT, have FIP. WHEW!! He is back to his beautiful self, I adore his playfulness but he will not cuddle with me , he plays with me , but very rough he bites and scratches my hand (I move it like a mouse and he attacks it). I started playing this with him when he was a kitten, so I know it's my fault . I don't mind but I would love some cuddle time. Now my 26 year old son, walks in and he meows, rubs on him, sits with him, and lay's with him, he purr's when my son pet's him. I feed him , I pay attention to him ( my son barley does, well more now since we thought we were gonna lose him) but hardly at all, again, I call him day and night to come to me , I practically beg him, I feed him , I buy him toy's , I clean his litter box daily, I get on all fours and play cat with him, I even meow with him. Idk , why does he hate when I try to pet him and will never sit with me. The only attention he gives mommy is that he does follow me around when I get up to go PT. early in the am, and throughout the day while my son works.So Why does my baby pay so much attention, to my son, and not me?  Does he love me? I know it sounds weird, but I really really love my cat, my son is grown up, and I only see my gran-daughter on weekends, so he is my other "baby".

 

[catspaw66]

 
So Why does my baby pay so much attention, to my son, and not me?  Does he love me? I know it sounds weird, but I really really love my cat, my son is grown up, and I only see my gran-daughter on weekends, so he is my other "baby".

You need to stop using your hands to play with him. It causes him to see you as a toy, rather than a nice place to cuddle. Yes, you feed him, clean up after him and so on, but he expects the hand play any time he gets near you.

I think that if you will break him of the hand-play, he will calm down and look to you for snuggles and cuddles. It may take quite a while, since he has been doing it for so long.

Don't try to force attention on him. My ladies will come to me when they want attention. Then I give them almost all they want. They come to me quite often, but I let them be cats first and snuggle buddies second.

 

[zazzozal]

Thank You,  I kinda thought that, I bought a a couple of toys on a "stick" so I won't have to use my hand, Your right, he jumps on and attacks my legs and not my son's , he thinks I'm a big toy. I want to cuddle, but as long as I can be his toy that's ok too. Just want my Grey boy to be happy. I just will stop playing with my hand, because he backs off when Pet him with my hands, and lets me kiss his head, with my lips, so you are SO right, he looks at my hands especially as toy's. My son also told me , he backs off of me cause I smother him with too much attention, and Love, He said I did ( and still do) that with him too. LOL . It is true, I have so much love to give, and my son, my Grand daughter, and my Cat, are my entire life. Don't know if that's good or bad. LOL. So I will slowly stop letting him attack my hands and let him come to me , ( somewhat, ill be waiting forever) and see what happens. THANK YOU!

 

[katluver4life]

I'm not sure how old your cat is, I'm guessing he is still fairly young? Is he neutered? Neutering will calm him down some if he is not already.

My 2 oldest just turned 2. Neither were very cuddly when they were in their adolescent stage. Too busy playing and chasing I guess.

Now that they are older, they have gotten a lot more cuddly. Just leave him be and try to back off trying to "get" him to cuddle and he'll come to you. And yea, no hands for playing.

 

[zazzozal]

Hi ,

Thank You, Yes my baby is only 2 and he has been neutered.  , I'm just so grateful he is back to his old self , after 14 days, this poor baby was so sick, and then them telling us he had FIP, then calling saying wrong diagnosis, WHEW!! So I'm just so happy that he is "attacking" my legs, and hands, and I have not been playing with hands, the past couple of days. But it just amazes me that until he got sick my son, payed him no attention, I shower him with affection, and he will always go and sit on my son's lap, and purr, not with me. But so Ill back off alitle, ( it is very very hard, ) I am home all day , due to illness, so after cleaning every morning, I want to play with and cuddle with him all day until my son, come's home. I guess my son was right , you can smother anything with too much love and attention. So as hard as it will be ill back off, he does follow me around the house, that makes me feel good, and wanted. Again I know he is just a cat but I have a very strong connection with him, I love him like a little son. Thanks so maybe when he get's a little older , he will love to cuddle with his mommy.

 

[mrsgreenjeens]

Our little girl cat will be 13 in January, and she is JUST NOW starting to willingly crawl into our laps

.  That being said, however, she has always loved being petted.  But never likes being cuddled.  Still hates being picked up too.  And this crawling into our laps is still just with maybe one or two paws, and just for a second, until she realizes what she's done, then she moves away

.  I think she sees the boys cuddling all the time and thinks it looks like a good thing, just hasn't quite figured it out

.

Good luck with Zazzy!  Maybe if you start ignoring him, he'll start coming around

 

[zazzozal]

Yeah, Zazzy does not like being pet either not by me, I really think he associates my hands with toy's cause he let's me kiss his head, just no hands, I just find it so strange that my son gave him no attention, ( now he does after he got very sick, no where near what I give him.)  and he ALWAYS HAS come to my son. weird!!  But I feel a little wanted because he does follow mommy around all day and if I'm washing dishes he comes up, and any room I'm in he comes in, so he does love me just from a far. LOL  I just want him to sit on my lap and purr and lay with me like he does with my son.  So I am NOT using my hands for play any more, and I will TRY to ignore him that will be very very hard, he is just too beautiful. Thank You

 

[mservant]

I have a grey boy too and he is 2 1/2.  Very playful and does not sit on any laps (he does sometimes curl round my feet and will sleep there too).

He is such a cuddle bug, will let me snuggle in and pamper him for ages on the floor or on the bed, or if I'm laying on the sofa, just not when I'm sitting down. 

​  I would so love him to be a lap cat too, but doubt it will happen any time soon. :-(   I think I conned him in to being on my lap once - by lifting up a little box he was nested in and put it on my lap:  he stayed in it for about 15 minutes before making his exit.  

Another thing,  while I am sure he loves me, and very quickly makes friends with pretty much anyone that comes in to the apartment, if my boy has a choice between male and female he will go to the man every time!  And he loves men's feet!?  He goes right up, sniffs around for a minute  (will check out their shoes first if they've taken them off) and then if he likes the person he curls up right next to their feet.  He's not met anyone with really smelly feet yet but it wouldn't surprise me if he liked them the best!

My boy is currently curled up right beside me, snoozing away, and that will have to do.  I can reach out and touch him, hold his paws, and stroke his head, but I can also get up and make a cup of tea or answer the phone without disturbing him.   When your son's there have you ever tried getting your son to do all the running around while you rest and take it easy???  Could be kitty sees your son as a restful spot where he doesn't get disturbed? 

Every cat is an individual, and pretty much every cat will avoid doing something if it thinks you are in control of what they are doing, or if it is something you are anxious about!  Join me in pretending you're not bothered about your boy not curling up on your lap or laying over you in your chair with his little chin tucked in under yours giving you little nose kisses.  Join me in hoping: play with him till he's tired out (but not in that rough and tumble physical contact hands and feet way), build your relationship with him in every way he allows, and hopefully one day he will sneak in and curl up when you are least expecting it, a master of surprises.  And when he does, stay sitting down and relaxing for as long as you can!!!

 

[zazzozal]

Oh my gosh, Your boy looks just like Zazzy!! SO BEAUTIFUL, I love the Grey cats. My son actually picked him out of all of his brothers and sisters, I was going to pick the black one, but my son picked Sammie, (BTW, Zazzy's real name is Sammie, Graie) My Gran daughter named him.  I came up with Zazzoozal, I nick name everything I love. My poor son is 26 and some people still call him "Beekie" (his nick name). Poor kid. LOL

My pretty boy just came and layed down near me, He always follows me from room to room and will lay close , just not too close. I Play with him for hours everyday, with his "babies" (mice) and other toy's, I am not using my hand anymore, but he still loves to attack my leg, ( playing) he jumps out from behind doors and bites and just attacks my leg and foot. I said when he was sick and they told me he had FIP, that I would give anything for him to attack my legs , when I walk by because he just layed there barley moved for 14 days, so when he attacks my leg I really do not mind, it's definitely play , so no biggie. So for now I just have to live with the fact that my boy will not sleep with , or sit with , cuddle, or let me pet him just for now. I can not ignore him, I just don't drive him crazy calling him every 2 minutes to come to me , and No hand playing, when he gets alittle older he may come and get close with mommy like he does with his brother. I hope. Thank You so much for all of your help. I appreciate it so much.

 

[mservant]

 
Oh my gosh, Your boy looks just like Zazzy!! SO BEAUTIFUL, I love the Grey cats. My son actually picked him out of all of his brothers and sisters, I was going to pick the black one, but my son picked Sammie, (BTW, Zazzy's real name is Sammie, Graie) My Gran daughter named him.  I came up with Zazzoozal, I nick name everything I love. My poor son is 26 and some people still call him "Beekie" (his nick name). Poor kid. LOL

My pretty boy just came and layed down near me, He always follows me from room to room and will lay close , just not too close. I Play with him for hours everyday, with his "babies" (mice) and other toy's, I am not using my hand anymore, but he still loves to attack my leg, ( playing) he jumps out from behind doors and bites and just attacks my leg and foot. I said when he was sick and they told me he had FIP, that I would give anything for him to attack my legs , when I walk by because he just layed there barley moved for 14 days, so when he attacks my leg I really do not mind, it's definitely play , so no biggie. So for now I just have to live with the fact that my boy will not sleep with , or sit with , cuddle, or let me pet him just for now. I can not ignore him, I just don't drive him crazy calling him every 2 minutes to come to me , and No hand playing, when he gets alittle older he may come and get close with mommy like he does with his brother. I hope. Thank You so much for all of your help. I appreciate it so much.

I can understand the giving anything for a well cat: although Mouse hasn't had anything as serious as FIP yet he was very sick with oral problems in his first year, and now has a diagnosis of feline herpes and get pretty quiet when he's run down and fighting off the virus. Normally he's a bouncy monster that hardly sleeps and it's horrid to see him only wanting to sleep away the days. When he starts to feel better and starts jumping on my shoulder, chasing flies and biting my arm because he's bored I can't find words to explain how happy I am.....

I will be thinking of you and hoping your Zazzy gives in and comes for a snuggle some day soon. And of course that he keeps well.   I'd love to see another picture of him other than your avatar, it's so small and I did wonder how alike they might look when I saw your thread!